Spiral
by spongebobsmyhero
Summary: COMPLETE. Finding companionship and maybe more from your most hated rival. Suddenly, things aren't what they seem anymore, and the world seems to be spiraling in on itself. Jick/Joick. Non-incest. Smut. Don't like, don't read.
1. Perplexing Rivalry

This story is titled Spiral.

There. Now that that's all official-sounding and everything, let's begin. (Oh yeah, and I'm giving the chapters names! How cool is that? ;) )

(Also, the little line break signifies a time change or scene change, or whatever.)

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><p>Chapter 1 – Perplexing Rivalry<p>

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><p>Nick walked down the still-empty hallway, a strap of his backpack hung loosely on one shoulder and his hands tucked in his pockets. He hunched as he walked, acting casual. He had decided to come in early today since he'd fallen asleep in the middle of studying for a test last night. He needed to look things over before the first period began.<p>

Unexpectedly, a pair of pale hands appeared as if from nowhere and clutched the front of his navy uniform blazer. His back was slammed against the wall, a gasp involuntarily escaping his surprised body.

"Oof!" His eyes closed in a grimace.

"Morning, loser." Nick felt warm breath whisper against his cheeks. He groaned inwardly. This was not what he needed this morning. Parting his lids, his pale hazel eyes met a pair of amused, almost black ones.

Before he could speak, a hard, muscular body had pressed against his as a knee parted his legs boldly.

"Jonas," he growled, "don't you have some unsuspecting animal to run over or a bird to shoot or something?"

The leg pressed closer to his groin. Unable to control his body's reaction, Nick groaned at the friction as the leg began rubbing harder. "Got the unsuspecting animal right here," was the murmured reply.

"Bastard, let go! I'm gonna break your hands and use them to shove your eyes into your over-inflated head!" He tried to push the body away, even if he knew it was futile. Jonas was one of the strongest guys in school.

Jonas gave a low, menacing laugh. "I like it when you talk dirty, Jones."

"The fuck do you want today?"

"You haven't been around for a while," he stated, lifting one hand to lightly trace a finger against the brunette's clenched jaw.

"I've been around, just avoiding the likes of you!" Nick turned away from the caress, making the last word sound like something one would find at the bottom of one's shoe.

Jonas made a fist, grabbing brown curls and turning the face toward his. In the distance, the pair heard approaching footsteps and excited voices.

The pale boy gave a short grunt, and then smirked. "Let me see you around more often, loser."

"Fuck you, Jonas," Nick spat.

"No. Fuck you Jones," he murmured in return.

Nick hissed as his head was pulled back painfully and a wet tongue lapped against the side of his neck, followed by a searing suck. Teeth grazed his skin momentarily as the body pressed into his harder. He grimaced inwardly when he couldn't keep a moan from escaping his parted lips. A breathy laugh warmed his already heated skin. And then, just as abruptly as it had come, the hard body disappeared.

With heavy-lidded eyes, Nick watched the dark figure walk away as the voices from earlier turned the corner. His entire body slumped against the wall, his knees weak. He waved limply at three of his classmates. When they passed, he gratefully allowed his body to slide down the wall until he sat on the cold hallway floors as he willed his body into some semblance of calm from the unwanted stimuli.

"Fuck," he hissed into the now empty hallway. "This is not going to be a good day." He used the collar of his white uniform shirt to wipe the wetness from his neck. Laying two fingers against the abused skin, he felt a pang of panic. He quickly unzipped his bag, looking for a reflective surface. He found his metallic pencil case, peered into it and looked at the crude reflection of his neck. When he failed to find a mark, he sagged with relief. At least he didn't have to steal some of Demi's cover-up or wear a muffler indoors this time. He gave a silent thanks to his three classmates who had inadvertently interfered with Jonas's sadistic humor.

He picked himself up, before making his way into the library. It was still early. He could squeeze in some reviewing before the start of class.

* * *

><p>Nick looked about the classroom as a classmate, Selena, walked around to collect the tests. It hadn't been so bad. At least he wouldn't fail. He'd probably barely passed, but passed nonetheless.<p>

"Um… Nick?" The shy voice startled him out of his momentary lapse in concentration. He looked up into pale, dark brown eyes which were set in an equally pale face that was framed by short, almost light brown hair. He blinked and handed his test sheet over. He noted how delicate her fingers looked. She blushed prettily, and then moved on, a whispered "thank you" left in her wake.

He slumped in his chair as he waited for the period to be over, praying Mr. Davis wouldn't have time to assign homework from the next chapter. Mercifully, the bell rang before the teacher could mention an assignment, and Nick stood quickly, shoving books in his bag.

"Nick! Wanna walk together?" He looked behind him. Demi was also quickly shoving pieces of paper in her bag. Behind her, he caught a glimpse of dark hair and an arrogant smirk. He fought the urge to place a hand over his neck. Instead, he turned quickly and strode out the door without answering his friend.

"Hey! Nick! Wait up!" Demi yelled as she ran to catch up with her friend. "What's with you today?"

"What do you mean?" he asked evasively.

She furrowed her eyebrows in concern. "Well for one thing, no one suffered a prank from you this morning, much to everyone's relief," she chuckled. "And to a few people's disappointment, I guess. You didn't once complain about the test and... You're quiet."

He shrugged nonchalantly, saying nothing.

Demi decided not to push her subdued friend, and only walked with him in silence. They soon went separate ways for the second class of the day, and they wouldn't see each other again until lunch or the end of the day.

Parting ways with the girl, Nick trotted down the hall for his second class. He scratched his head and then grimaced as he encountered a delicate part in his scalp, courtesy of Jonas.

He reached the gymnasium and strode to the boys change room. He changed uniforms quickly, looking around warily. Fortunately, Jonas wasn't present in the changing room. When Nick went out to the gym and didn't see him, he sighed with relief. _Good, he must be skipping today,_ he thought.

From there, the school day passed quickly. There were no further complications, except for a minor brawl during gym class with some kid who was deserving of the argument.

"Damned asshole," Nick muttered to himself as he fingered the band aid on his right cheek. He walked toward the tree where his small group usually met up, leaning on the wide trunk of the shady tree and watching the passing groups of students as they made their way home while he waited. After a long while, he assumed his friends had had to leave early, so he left the school yard as well. Demi usually flew from school to her job at that ice cream place during most of the week. Matt and Evan were probably at the barbeque place; it was Thursday special after all. Miley was probably working at her parent's gift and flower place. And who knew where David and Zac were always headed off to?

He didn't have a shift tonight at his job, for which he was grateful. He needed some rest. He looked in the direction of his favorite fast food joint, considering his options. Finally, he decided that yeah, he was a little hungry. He rubbed his stomach in anticipation as he took off towards food.

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><p>Nick trudged up the stairs to his apartment after checking his mail. He fished for his keys when he reached the door. Upon entry, he noted the bags of groceries on the floor. His aunt had been at his place. From the looks of it, she left two weeks' worth of food. Removing his shoes, he reached for the white envelope that had been left on the kitchen counter.<p>

He quickly read the note that was enclosed. They were going on a trip for six weeks. He peered at the cash in the envelope. The note also mentioned his funds at the bank were increased. He booted up his computer, and then checked his account online, raising his eyebrow at the large sum.

He shook his head in resignation. His only living relatives were rich and had kids of their own. His aunt was his mother's older sister. They made sure he had shelter and food as long as he stayed away from them, but did nothing more.

He extracted a few notes from the thick envelope and placed them on top of his desk where he could grab it on the way out the next day. The rest he hid in his vault. He put away the groceries then changed out of his school uniform. He contemplated showering, but he was too tired. Exhausted, he fell on his bed and didn't wake up until morning.

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><p>The morning light pierced through his sleepy haze, waking him quickly. Reaching for his alarm clock, he discovered it was only six in the morning. He rose to take a shower. If he timed it right, he would have time to do his homework, eat a decent breakfast and still be early for class.<p>

* * *

><p>Water sprayed everywhere as Nick shook his umbrella dry. The sunny morning had quickly turned into a rainy one. He brushed off some of the water droplets that still clung to his uniform as he entered his classroom just as the bell rang. Idly, he noticed that the principal was standing in front of the class instead of Mr. Davis. He sat quickly, catching a glimpse of Jonas in his peripheral vision. Jonas was surrounded by his adoring fans, a pendant caressed between his fingers. Nick saw Demi and Miley among the hoard. Jonas only looked bored and threatening. His uniform was crisp and immaculate as the uniform of the class president and top most ranking student should. Nick couldn't understand the attraction. It was a deceptive mask that they followed. He knew personally what lay beneath that calm mask.<p>

The principal cleared his throat as a signal for the students to sit in their designated seats.

Apparently, Mr. Davis was not well. The class was assigned work from the new chapter and was sent to one of the libraries to responsibly work throughout the whole period without supervision from a teacher. Jonas, the class president, was left in charge. Attendance was taken and then the group moved to the older library.

The older library was less frequently used than the new one. The smell of stale old books permeated the air, but the clean air coming from the rainy outdoors made the smell bearable.

Nick found a quiet section at the back where no one would voluntarily visit. Everyone preferred the newer desks towards the front. He opened a window and shivered a little from the chill, but decided that a little cold was worth the fresh air. Placing his books on a table that had seen better days, he sat and began to work. After a section or two, he grew tired of reading from his textbook and got up to see if he could find anything decent in his section of the library.

He moved to an aisle in between tall shelves of books, skimming over the titles. His eyes spotted one that looked interesting and he reached for it. Unfortunately, it was placed just higher than he could reach. No ladder could be found nearby, and he was dubious whether the chair that he had been sitting on could support his weight if he stood on it. Cursing his medium height, he stretched his legs to reach for the book again.

A pale hand reached over his and retrieved the book. He groaned as he rested his forehead on the shelves for a moment before turning around. Joe Jonas stood close to him, holding out the book, a smirk on his face. Nick debated whether to accept the offered help or just go back to his school work. He looked at the book once more. He did want to read it, and that decided him. He took the book and nodded, not a thank you, just an empty gesture. Before he could leave, however, a pair of arms had him trapped in between them. He bowed his head down, staring at his feet.

"May I help you?" he inquired.

"You may," came the reply, and the other pair of feet drew closer to his.

"This would be a rather strange arrangement to walk into, don't you think, class president?"

"Yes, it would be. But you've taken care of that already, haven't you? No one likes this wing." A hand lifted his chin up, forcing their eyes to meet.

"Obviously it didn't work if you're here, Jonas." Their voices were mere whispers.

The hand left his chin to slide down his chest.

"What do you want?" Nick asked, wary.

"Are you sure you want me to answer that?" Joe drew closer and pressed their bodies together. One hand slid down to rest on Nick's hip and the other tilted his head up. Warm breath caressed the skin on his neck, followed by a warm, wet tongue. Nick shuddered then forcefully pushed Joe off of him.

"Don't resist me," Joe hissed, dark brown eyes growing cold.

"You're sick," Nick hissed in return. He spied a silver chain around Joe's neck and made an effort to grab at it. His arm was caught quickly and he found himself turned and pressed against the bookshelf, his arm painfully twisted against his back. He grimaced in pain, and then winced again as he felt the warmth of Joe's body as it neared his own. Soft lips touched the shell of his ear.

"Don't resist me, loser."

Nick tried to struggle out of the painful grasp, but only winced as the pressure increased.

"Give up?"

Nick growled under his breath and nodded slowly. "For now," he sighed, defeated.

He felt the pressure ease as the arm was released. He was turned, his back resting on the shelves. A hand found its way on his hip as the other tilted his head once more. Joe's body was heated as lips, tongue and teeth attacked his neck and his jaw. Nick's eyes slid shut as his body betrayed him, relishing in the contact. A knee parted his legs. Joe's thigh rubbed against him and he hissed at the contact.

"What? Do you get some kind of perverse thrill out of this or something?" His voice shook, breathless. He grasped Joe's shirt, feeling the pendant underneath the thin cloth.

"Give it back." He couldn't quite manage to make his voice commanding; instead, it came out almost pleading. His body arched as warm hands explored underneath his shirt. Joe's lips traveled down to his collar bone as he ignored the order.

"Do you know how many people would give anything to be in your place right now, Jones?" Joe pressed his thigh against Nick's hardening groin. Nick couldn't control his body as it rocked back.

"What an honor," he drawled sarcastically. "Why aren't you molesting them instead?" He gasped and stopped the fingers that now lingered on the top seams of his pants. "What are you doing?" he hissed as his glazed hazel eyes met dark, lust filled ones.

Joe rubbed his hardness against Nick's. The brunette's eyes bulged. _Damn treacherous body_, he screamed internally.

"I'm giving you what you want."

"I never asked for this!"

Dark eyes gazed at him for a silent moment. Their bodies flushed against each other, pressed together so tightly that the smallest shift sent both moaning. A hand slid down to grab the bulge in his pants and gave it a few slow strokes. Nick's hand shot up to grab Joe's shoulder as his knees grew weak. He couldn't stifle the groan that left his lips.

Joe's tongue descended on his open mouth, lapping at the soft bottom lip a few times and briefly entering his mouth to touch his tongue. Shocked, Nick could only squeeze Joe's shoulder as the boy continued his ministration to Nick's hardness. Nick felt tightness in his stomach. He was close.

"Stop," Nick managed to choke out.

With a final squeeze, Joe did.

Joe fixed Nick's shirt collar, then proceeded to straighten the rumpled uniform shirt. He picked up the book that had been dropped and forgotten on the floor and placed it in Nick's shaky grasp. Then he wrapped a hand on the back of the shocked boy's neck, fingers burrowed in short brown hair.

Their eyes met as their bodies calmed. Joe placed a lingering kiss on Nick's neck, and then he was gone just as the bell rang to announce the end of the period. Nick slid down to sit on the carpeted floor. He drew his knees up then struck the floor with fisted hands.

"Shit! You're so weak!" he whispered self-deprecatingly.

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><p>He went home in the rainy weather, soaked to the bone. When he got home, he immediately took a shower. In the shower, his sadistic mind replayed the morning encounter and he was soon stroking his hard shaft. He remembered the feel of Joe's hand over it and shuddered. He was quick to orgasm. When he stepped out of the shower, he felt like he should take another, hotter one. He felt so dirty. He was disgusted with himself that a pair of dark eyes and the remembered touch and press to his body could bring him off like that.<p>

He landed face first to his bed and fell asleep. His body tossed and turned as it replayed memories of his tormentor.

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><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p>

So, it's a little intense and (cough) kind of cheesy for a first chapter, but, like, I promise you that it only gets better from here.  
>Remember, I only need one person to tell me to post another, and I will. :)<p> 


	2. Stirring

Chapter 2 – Stirring

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><p>"Oof!"<p>

A week had passed without any further encounters with Jonas. Until now.

Nick found himself shoved against the chalkboard he had been erasing. His partner had bailed on him at the last minute and he was left alone after school with cleaning duty.

"Where have you been?" Jonas stood a few feet away from him. He'd had to shove Nick pretty hard for him to hit the board like that.

"Obviously where you can't find me," he answered. "Now get lost! I have some cleaning to do!" He watched Joe. The boy's body was tensed, his hands fisted at his side, dark eyes glaring at him.

Nick raised his fists, body guarded.

"Are you sure, loser?" Joe readied himself for the challenge.

Nick didn't wait to answer; he just swung his fist in the direction of Joe's face. With the first blow thrown, the boys scuffled a little, once managing to connect a fist with a body part.

"Oof!" Nick once again found his back pressed against the board. Joe's body covered his own. He tried to hit Joe's side when a hard knee came up, digging into his stomach. He groaned and curled in on himself, coughing as he tried to catch his breath. His stomach burned as the aching pain intensified. He waited till it receded to a dull throb.

For a while, only their heavy breathing could be heard in the empty classroom. Joe supported Nick's sagging body, and then pushed him back up against the wall. Dark eyes met his glazed ones.

"Give up," Joe commanded.

Nick felt pain lance through his body, helpfully identifying the places that he had received a hit. He nodded, agreeing, for now. Instantly, Joe's lips ravaged his neck. His shirt was unbuttoned and warm and wet lips and tongue grazed his chest. He moaned, not bothering to stifle it. He knew by now it was futile. His body was awakening already from a week without Joe's touch.

Joe looked into his eyes as he grasped Nick's semi-erect shaft through his pants and brought it to full hardness. The friction the cloth provided sent spikes of pleasure running all over his body.

"Touch me." Nick's eyes widened; Joe had never asked to be touched. The other boy squeezed him again. Nick choked on the intense pleasure Joe's hand was causing.

"You're shitting me," he gasped.

"Do it," Joe replied in a breathy whisper before attacking Nick's neck with renewed vigor.

"Ahhh!" He felt Joe bite his flesh then run a warm tongue over the hurt.

Nick gulped, then brought his hand over the other boy's chest. The hand slid down the pale boy's body, but stopped short as he reached the hem of Joe's pants.

"I... I can't."

Joe growled and released the boy's throbbing clothed cock only to rub his own against it.

"Nnnnn... Joe… Wha? What's gotten into you? Fuck!"

Joe slammed Nick's body against the board, hard. He continued to suck viciously at the vein in Nick's neck, hands clutching Nick's hips painfully. There were going to be bruises added to the injuries he already received today, the brunette knew.

Nick sucked in rapid breaths as Jonas rocked against his throbbing cock. "Stop this… What's going on with you?"

"I'm gonna bring you off!" Joe's determined voice whispered.

"What!" Nick tried to push the boy away.

"Fuck... Jonas, stop it... Nnn." Oh, god. He couldn't think. Not with that body rubbing against his.

"You want this," the boy hissed.

"I don't know where you got the fuckin' idea that I wanted you attacking me every opportunity you got... But... Ahhhh... It stops now," he bit back weakly. Nick wished his conviction sounded stronger, but with Joe's mouth turning his mind to a puddle of useless mud, he couldn't blame it on his vocal chords. "Besides," he continued, gasping. "Do you remember where we are? We're in fucking—"

"—school," Joe growled, interrupting. "The source of my problems! Home is where I should be, but even then I'd rather not!"

Nick's eyes widened at the fury behind the other boy's voice and beneath those dark eyes.

Those eyes looked familiar.

He hissed as Joe slid open his zipper and held a fist around his hardened flesh.

He knew those eyes.

Surrendering, Nick rested his forehead on Joe's shoulder as he slipped his hand into Joe's pants to grab hold of the boy's shaft.

The classroom was filled with pants and heavy breathing as both boys stroked each other into release. Nick alternated his strokes, knowing what he would like. Joe delivered knowingly. Nick gripped Joe's shoulder as the pressure in him built. Beside his ear, he heard the boy's harsh breathing matching his own. The burning pleasure built, spiking up his spinal cord and bursting into every nerve of his body.

"Ahhh!" Nick rocked against Joe as he climaxed. At the same time, he felt the other boy shudder. Warm wetness flooded his hands. Both boys stood, trying to catch their breath for a moment. Nick leaned back onto the board for support, Joe's shaking body followed and leaned on him.

He removed his hands from the other boy's pants. After a moment, Joe did the same. He looked toward the ceiling, feeling Joe's hair under his chin. Then he heard a rustle of cloth.

"Let me see you more often," Joe's husky voice whispered in the late afternoon silence.

"Fuck you, class president," he mumbled in reply.

"Gyuh!" Nick felt a fist strike his already bruised abs. He clutched his stomach as he saw Jonas leave the class. After catching his breath and waiting till the pain died to only a dull throb, he left as well to wash up.

In the washroom, Nick peered into the mirror.

He knew those eyes. He saw them every time he looked into the mirror.

* * *

><p>"Nick! Get away from my fries! Go get your own!" Demi valiantly tried to save her fries from her greedy friend.<p>

"Awww, c'mon Demiii," Nick teased.

"No way! I'm hungry!"

"Mm..." Miley drawled from where she sat across from the pair. "Aren't you on a diet, Demi?"

The girl being addressed scowled. She was hungry. The damn diet left her starving and stupid. Why, she only made an A minus on the last test! Seething, she eyed Miley's equally stacked tray.

"How 'bout you, Miley? You sure are packing it in!"

"Why you…!"

Matt only sighed as the angry voices escalated. Evan, proving his chubbiness, ate lunch noisily beside him.

"Ah! It's Joe!" Giggles and hushed noises erupted as the dark haired youth entered the cafeteria.

Nick watched Miley and Demi fawn over the boy shamelessly.

"Mah..." they sighed in unison.

"He's so hot..."

"He's so smart..."

"Look at his body!" They drooled.

"Could you imagine how it would feel to have that body pressed against you?" They giggled at the visual and blushed at their absurdity. Nick snorted and looked at the boy of his friends' fantasies.

"So?" he asked dryly, shoving stolen fries into his mouth. "What's the big deal? He's lanky and pale. Like a featherless uncooked chicken..." Evan choked on his fries. Matt absently thumped Evan's back as he laughed quietly.

"Ugh! Nick, get your own!" Demi took her plate of fries and smacked the brunette across the head for his comment.

"What do you mean, Nick? He's hot!" Miley banged a fist against the table heatedly.

"Pfft… Whatever. I don't know what you guys see in that over-inflated asshole." He got up to buy his own fries, half-ignoring the girl's objections behind him.

Nick was standing in line and waiting his turn when he felt a familiar presence behind him. His body tensed. _No_, he told himself. He wouldn't try anything in front of all these people, would he? He stood silently, staring straight ahead. However, the heated glare he felt against the back of his neck made it difficult to ignore the boy behind him. He growled then turned around swiftly.

"What?" he hissed. Distantly, he noted he did a lot of growling and hissing around Jonas.

A pair of dark, smoldering eyes looked him up and down. "Nothing."

Nick gritted his teeth then turned warily, reluctant to turn his back to Joe.

"Joee!" Demi and Miley bounced over to the line, books clutched at their chests.

"We were wondering if you could tutor us. We had trouble understanding today's lesson," Demi gushed sweetly. Nick gagged inwardly at his friend's antics.

"Then you should pay more attention in class, Ms. Lovato... Instead of day dreaming."

"Awww, c'mon Joe... That was nasty." Miley pouted.

Ugh. Nick couldn't take any more of this. He was losing his appetite! The girls let loose another volley of unabashed flirting. Thoroughly disgusted, he huffed as he passed Jonas to leave the line. A hand gripped his arm, halting him.

"Aren't you going buy something, Jones?"

"Lost my appetite." He ripped his arm away from the tight grip and stifled his wince.

"Ehhh... Really, Nick? You were hungry earlier." Demi leaned into the weird exchange. She hardly ever saw the two together and she saw them speak to each other even less. Somehow, Nick held a grudge against the handsome class president and Joe seemed colder than normal when the other boy was within his vicinity. She recalled the tight grip on Nick's arm. _Strange_, she thought. Joe hardly allowed anyone to touch him and he hardly ever touched anyone himself. She recalled that the pair had fought violently in the earlier years of secondary school. Now, Nick just sneered at Joe and Joe was just his usual quiet self. _Did something happen between them_?, she wondered.

"I'll see ya later Demi... Miley." Nick waved as he walked away.

The girls nodded absently at the odd exchange.

They blinked their confusion away, shrugged, and then focused their undivided attention on Joe once more.

* * *

><p>Nick stormed out of the cafeteria, absently rubbing his throbbing upper arm. He wouldn't be surprised if Joe had left bruises. He still had a few bruises left from their minor scuffle two days ago. He had been satisfied to find similar bruises on Joe's body when he saw him change for gym earlier. His hand twitched as he recalled what had happened after that last fist fight.<p>

He came.

Nick shuddered.

"Fuck!" He unconsciously wiped his hand on his pants leg, brushing away the imagined wetness.

_"I'm gonna bring you off."_

He shuddered.

Nick furrowed his eyebrows at the memory as he walked down the hall. Jonas had been furious that day. He only usually teased him a little, but two days ago that teasing had been taken to a higher level.

He sighed out loud, climbing the stairs to go up to his next class. Actually, Jonas moved the teasing to a higher level at the beginning of the school year. It only used to be an exchange of scalding words, then minor brawls that got them in the small clinic, more often than not for a few gashes or outright bleeding and broken bones. Then, one day, instead of a fist connecting with his jaw, it was a warm tongue.

Nick shuddered at the memory. That day, Jonas was more violent than usual; he'd had Nick pinned down on the rough concrete floor of the empty basketball court. Gashes marred both of their bodies. A scuffed knee stung with every move his leg made. Maybe Nick had said something to piss him off, or maybe Jonas was just having a bad day. He recalled that his body could hardly move from the unsuspecting beating. All he knew is that he had been pressed against the floor, hands secured by his sides, and then unexpectedly Jonas's slick tongue had swiped at his jaw. He'd frozen at the contact, unable to do anything more than weakly struggle as the other boy had plundered his exposed throat.

Nick blinked. The memory fell away. When he entered his third class, his throat felt dry and he had the sudden urge to adjust his pants. Seating himself quickly, he engaged in a friendly banter with David, who was only too happy to oblige. He didn't know what bothered him more, that a guy had been using his body as some sort of release for the past half of the school year or that it held a small significance compared to his worry about passing the test he was about to take.

David smacked his head to bring him back into the present and he pounced on the boy to get his frustrations out. In the background, Selena looked on worriedly as Zac shrugged, uncaring.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	3. Waking

Chapter 3 - Waking

* * *

><p>Blurrily, Nick lifted his head from the text book. A page peeled away from his cheek as he grasped at his scattered consciousness.<p>

''I fell asleep.'' He blinked heavily, still half coherent.

Rubbing at sleep-mussed eyes, he tilted his head and squinted at the numbers on the ticking kitchen clock.

''Three in the morning," he said, disbelieving.

Tiredly, he attempted to finish the majority of his homework. Aside from the worksheet from his third period class and reading four chapters for his fourth class, he managed to complete the workload. The worksheet, he decided, he could probably borrow off of Selena and he could finish the reading throughout the day. He would have ignored it entirely if it weren't for the promised threat that Dr. Serene might quiz them on it.

Sighing, he got up to go to bed. It was the middle of the term so he expected projects to be given out soon. He'd need more time. _Maybe I should take fewer hours at work_, he thought.

* * *

><p>''Wha…?" Throwing off the covers, Nick crawled toward his ringing alarm clock as he tried to gather the pieces of his scattered mind. He realized the alarm clock has been ringing for quite some time. Peering into the round face as he shut off the ringing, he suddenly sat up. Realizing there were only twenty minutes until school began, he jumped off the bed. In the process of rushing, he tripped on a bundled blanket and met the floor face-first. He took a moment to moan and curse at the bloody morning and then got up to continue in a more careful, albeit panicked rush.<p>

''Shi...et!'' He frantically washed up, threw his clothes together, gathered his things and bolted out of the door. A worksheet fluttered in the air then touched the ground delicately in his wake.

His usual commute took at least half an hour. If he sprinted, he would only be late by fifteen minutes, perhaps twenty. He sighed inwardly.

His rushed steps carried to his first class in record time. He apologized profusely and sat down. Mr. Davis was lenient and only gave him detention for the minutes he'd missed. Twenty minutes wasn't so bad, he thought triumphantly.

''Nick,'' Demi whispered from down the aisle of desks, ''You look like shit! What the hell happened?''

He looked back at her, gradually catching his breath. He removed his blazer, feeling warm from the run.

''I just woke up. I ran all the way here,'' he whispered back.

''No shit!'' She looked at him, worry etched on her delicate face. He looked like he hadn't slept, she thought.

Nick turned back to listen to Mr. Davis. He really hadn't gotten much sleep. He'd left the balcony open and he had spent the night freezing. He had been too tired to get up to shut the glass door.

''As you know, we've covered a great deal of text so far this term. To be able to assure me and yourselves that you have understood what you've learned, I'm going to assign a project." Mr. Davis braced himself. Multiple groans of protests filled the air as if on cue. The sound of a forehead smacking the wooden surface of a desk sounded in the noisy room.

''Now calm down class,'' the teacher spoke up, trying to silence the complaints. "It's going to be a group project. You'll be working in groups of three." The announcement immediately silenced the class, perhaps because of the prospect of not working alone or maybe because the students were mentally picking out their desired partners. Mr. Davis did not know; he was only grateful for the reprieve.

"I'm going to choose for you to make it fair. I don't want hasty and sloppy results! I want comprehensive and well researched papers. It will require a presentation. I want to be confident that you understand what we've learned." He eyed the class sternly. "So, I've already decided the groups. Group one…" He began listing off students.

Nick listened as one by one the groups were announced. He didn't really care who he was partnered with. As long as it wasn't Jonas, he amended silently. Demi, though… She was smart and would be fun to work with. He hoped she would be part of his group.

"Group seven will be Nick Jones…" Nick perked his head up, paying close attention. "Demi Lovato, and Joe Jonas."

Demi whooped happily in her seat. Nick groaned at his misfortune and the girls of the class erupted with vile protests.

"No." Mr. Davis firmly waved the objections away. "My decision is final!" The teacher silenced the class and proceeded to call out the rest of the groups as the complaints died down.

Nick dared a glance at the silent class president, who was sitting at the back of the class. The boy wore reading glasses; his hair swayed as a breeze entered from an open window. Dark eyes met hazel ones. Nick turned quickly and cursed under his breath. _Not good_, he thought, miffed.

* * *

><p>"Nick!"<p>

"Hmmm?" He looked up from his lunch to see Demi standing in front of him.

"What, Demi?" He wiped some mustard off his chin as he paid attention to the dark-haired girl.

"Don't you think we should arrange a schedule with Joe? We need to confirm when and where we should meet for the project."

"Eh?" With a plastic fork and his mashed potatoes, Nick sculpted a figure with a surprising likeness that of his rival. Then he viciously crushed the figure with the tines of the bendable fork. "…You sure it's just not an excuse to talk to him? 'Cuz you usually don't need a reason to drool at his feet," he implied dryly.

"Hey! What's with you today?" She placed her fist against her hips. "I'm serious!"

"Hmph... I still cannot believe you get to work with Joe," Miley piped in. "I get to work with these losers." With an angry jab of her thumb, she pointed in the direction of Evan and Matt. The pair only shrugged, having already accepted their fate.

"Gahhhh! Nick, trade places with me!" Miley rubbed furiously at her throbbing temple. She felt a headache growing.

"Gladly," Nick replied in a most thankful tone.

"No! No! It's already been decided, piggy," Demi protested haughtily, smirking at her pet name for her friend. "Now c'mon, Nick!" She grabbed the reluctant brunette and with astounding strength and determination, dragged him away from his lunch. "We have to talk to Joe!"

They reached the tables where the student council usually held their lunch. The silent boy sat reading as the others carried on animated conversations around him. It was rare to see him sit with them. He had the tendency to go off on his own. Joe seemed to enjoy his solitude.

Gathering her courage, Demi cleared her throat to catch the raven-haired boy's attention while Nick stood behind her, bored. He chose to observe the other students in the lunchroom rather than partake in Demi's conversation with Joe.

"Hey… Joe?" Demi approached the table a little more, suddenly timid as the rest of the table focused their attention on her. "I... We were wondering when and where we should meet for the project." She rang the hem of shirt with shaking fingers.

Nick turned his attention to Demi. Pfft, this wasn't the time to be overcome by nervousness, he encouraged silently.

"Ah," the other boy replied without taking his eyes off the book he was reading. "We?" he inquired, pausing and marking his place on the page with a manicured fingernail before looking up at the dark-haired girl.

"Y-Yes... Nick and I." Demi swallowed her nervousness at the heat of the piercing dark eyes. Seeking reassurance, she turned to Nick only to see him walking away.

"Ahh! Nick!" she exclaimed, partly panicked and partly angered at the sight of his retreating back. She began to chase after him, but was stopped by the other boy's icy voice.

"Ms. Lovato. We will meet after school at the oak tree. We'll discuss things there." Joe turned back to his book, dismissing her. Demi nodded slowly and then went to find her friend to tell him the plan and deliver some much deserved retaliation for abandoning her.

* * *

><p>After school, having served his brief detention, Nick made his way to the oak tree. He immediately spotted Demi sitting alone.<p>

"Sorry to make you wait Demi," he apologized.

She shook her head. "No need to apologize. It's alright. Joe had a meeting and I don't have to work tonight. Besides, I didn't wait alone. Miley just left a moment ago."

Sighing in relief, Nick nodded then sat, leaning his back to the trunk of the tree. He was really apologizing for leaving her behind earlier. It was because it took a great deal of effort to be near Jonas. He avoided the boy as much as he could.

"Nick..." She interrupted his silent musings slowly and cautiously, as if afraid of his worst reaction. "You don't like Joe very much, do you?"

He had closed his eyes and at her unexpected question, and then opened them again. He gazed at her curious face. "I like him very little, actually. Why do you ask?"

"Oh. Well, since we're working together and all… I thought it would be for the best if you guys settled your differences and talked them out. We will be seeing a lot of each other, you know?"

Nick congratulated himself for his impressive control. If he'd lacked said control, he imagined he might have laughed in her face. Withdrawing from his thoughts, he said instead, "With your brain and his, it will be over before you know it."

He was saved from further questioning as the topic of their conversation walked up to them, nodding goodbye to another student council member.

"Joe!" Demi stood and greeted the pale boy. A slow, pleased smile spread across her face.

Nick chose to ignore this and closed his eyes once again, resting his head against the tree trunk and listening to people pass by. He hoped silently that the meeting would not take long; his fist itched to cause harm to the approaching boy.

After a moment, he furrowed his eyebrows when he felt a body sit near his own and warm breath tickling the shell of his ear. "So what do you think, loser?"

Instantly, Nick opened his eyes and automatically moved away, but he was halted by a hand clutching his upper thigh, squeezing knowingly.

He looked around with dread. They sat alone under the shady tree, the dark-haired girl nowhere in sight.

"Where's Demi?"

"She was being nice and decided to get me a drink." Nick heard the grin in Joe's tone without having to look.

"Let go," he demanded steadily.

The hand only caressed his clothed thigh unhurriedly.

"You're a fuckin' brave asshole. So many times people must have caught your mask sliding by now," Nick spat. He gripped the grass below him angrily, pulling out a chunk of the soft ground.

"No one. I can guarantee it," Joe replied with confidence. He moved his hand further up the boy's thigh until the brunette bristled and removed it just as Demi returned, bearing drinks. She sat down in front of the pair and arranged her skirt primly. Nick took the opportunity to move away from the smirking boy.

Joe accepted the drink from the oblivious girl and nodded his head in silent thanks.

"I was wondering how we can arrange things," she began after getting comfortable and judging the others to be ready as well. "I work most weekday afternoons, but my weekends are free. We can go over to my house. I…" She faltered. "I don't think my parents would allow me to go over to guys' houses, though. So, I was thinking, when I have to work and can't join you, I'll do the work ahead and you guys can meet together instead."

She regretted not being able to see Joe's house, but due to her strict parents and certain restrictions, she would not be able to partake in one of her most desired wishes. She vowed to try to convince her parents to be a little more lenient. However, she already doubted her positive outlook. Perhaps if she assured her parents that Joe had parents who would be present, she may be allowed.

She turned to the pair, pushing aside her concerns for the moment. "What do you think? Joe? Nick?"

"Sounds alright. I already took fewer hours at work, so I'll be free most nights." Nick shrugged, uncaring.

"Ah. It's fine. We'll begin tomorrow," Joe added.

"Tomorrow?" Demi asked, confused. "Isn't it better to start now?"

"No, perhaps both of you should speak to your parents first and make arrangements," he suggested.

Nick flinched minutely but remained silent. Demi looked on worriedly, but at Nick's quick shake of the head, said nothing.

"Alright, if tomorrow is best, then, I guess we're all in agreement," she said, verifying the plan.

The group separated and made their way home, casting lone shadows in the early evening autumn ground.

* * *

><p>"Ahhhh! What the fuck are you doing?"<p>

Nick had detention after school again, and the teacher had stepped out for a moment. With no more warning than that, he'd suddenly found himself alone with his class president. The other boy had waltzed in as the teacher walked out, dragged him out of his chair and sat him on top of a desk rather casually.

"I told Demi I'd come get you."

"...And where in that sentence did you... Nnnnn... Say you'd have your hand on my dick?" Nick growled.

"She had to read in between the lines," the boy murmured, lapping carelessly on his neck.

"Fuckin' unbelievable, Jonas. No one would believe you do this. Unless—ahhh!" The brunette gasped. "Except for the other people you molest, huh?" He sucked in his breath as the hand stroking him quickened in pace. "The teacher's gonna come back… Let me go!" His voiced lacked conviction. Silently, he cursed.

Joe shook his head, taking Nick's earlobe into his mouth and sucking contentedly. "…Told him I'd release you," he whispered.

Panting, Nick tried to concentrate on the boy's words. However, with the boy's ministrations, such a simple task proved rather difficult. "What," he asked wryly. "He had to read between the lines, too?"

Joe chuckled around his ear. "Yes, something like that."

Nick's thoughts were disjointed and he just didn't have the energy to stomach a fist fight today, so he relented easily to the other boy's whim.

"We have to go. Demi's waiting…" His breath caught as Joe reached in his pants, freeing his encased erection. Dragging Nick's hips on the edge of the desk, Joe ground his clothed cock against Nick's naked member.

Nick's breath grew ragged and his eyesight blurred as the rough texture of Joe's pants caused more tantalizing friction against his weeping cock.

"Gah! Wha? Nnnn…" Nick threw his head back at the onslaught of sensations. Joe's languid and smooth tongue on his ear and neck competed with the dry almost painful friction on his shaft.

Distantly, he heard approaching footsteps from the hall and Joe swearing under his breath. He was surprised he heard anything at all beyond the deafening throbbing of his pulse in his ears. Unexpectedly, he felt lips close over his hardness and his surprised yelp was stifled by Joe's hand sliding over his mouth. He groaned as the mouth sucked relentlessly, lapping on the underside of his dick as a firm grip at the base of his erection stroked him rapidly. At the overwhelming pleasure, he came quickly. He felt the ball of pressure in his stomach uncoil as he climaxed and shot his release into Joe's waiting mouth. His scream of rapture was muffled.

Through the haze, he saw Joe tuck his softening member back into his pants. He looked at the boy with heavy-lidded eyes as he was pushed back into his seat. Joe wiped his mouth with a sleeve as he smirked, before a hand slammed Nick's head down on the table's surface in one solid and swift move. Upon impact, the brunette groaned in pain, looking up with an angry glare just as the door opened.

"Nick? Joe?" Demi's voice drifted in the room, ringing in his throbbing head.

"He was just waking up," Joe explained as he picked up the bag he had dropped carelessly on one of the desks.

"Oh wow… Nick! You look positively exhausted," Demi exclaimed. Nick directed a glare at the beaming young man while he adjusted his rumpled uniform.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p>

Welp, there you go. :) Remember, if you want more, you got it, just tell me so. ;)


	4. Flee His Castle

I've gotten a few comments on how violent Joe is, so I would just like to clarify something. I don't disagree with that, because, yes, he is violent. But keep in mind that they do, in fact, hate each other. They're rivals. That's why the first chapter is called Perplexing Rivalry. They hate each other, but it's all twisted up into these encounters filled with sexual tension.

Also, in other news, I may post two chapters today... Just because it's Saturday and I have a little more free time than normal. :) (But my rules still apply. You have to ask for the new chapter.)

Well, anyway. Enjoy. :)

* * *

><p>Chapter 4 – Flee his castle<p>

* * *

><p>The trio left school for Joe's house. Surprisingly, Demi's parents had allowed her to go to Joe's house as long as she stayed away from Nick's apartment.<p>

Joe led them to his house, a subdued, silently fuming Nick and an excited Demi followed.

The train ride was brief and quiet. Nick watched the familiar scenery pass by while Demi stole glances at Joe. An aggravated baby's cry rang out and old men flipped their newspapers noisily.

A short walk followed the train ride until the trio entered a neighborhood whose street was lined with large houses. Manicured lawns, wind chimes and cold iron gates greeted their approach. Joe stopped in front of one of the large houses and entered a code in a keypad, opening the gates. They passed a lush yard and stopped at a large, decorated glass door. Intricate metal work held the glass pieces in shape.

Joe unlocked his front door, opened it uncaringly and beckoned his guests in. Demi drew her breath in silently, awed at the magnificent yet subtle affluence around her.

Silence met their arrival. Joe prompted them inside.

"No one's home," he announced offhandedly.

Demi paused from marveling at the beautiful foyer. As Joe's words registered, she faltered in her steps. "What?" she asked, eyes widening with oncoming dismay.

"They must be working late." Joe removed his shoes and pointed in the direction of the living room. "Wait there."

Nick dragged a stupefied Demi inside with him. They removed their shoes and walked into the living room, sinking into a plush, seashell-toned couch which matched the light décor of the living space.

"Nick…" Demi ventured, twisting the hem of her uniform skirt nervously. "I can't be here."

"Eh? Why not?" Absently, he unpacked his books and a few sheets of paper. He shuffled through a folder until he found the assignment sheet. He looked up at the distressed tone of her usually effervescent voice.

"We're alone, Nick." She directed her fingertips toward herself. "I'm alone…" she stressed, "with two guys!"

"So? You know me, and aren't you happy to be alone with him?" He brushed off her rising panic.

"As much as it makes me happy…" She sighed with resignation. "My parents trusted me and they will probably call. I... I can't risk this Nick, not with the overnight trip coming up."

She stood, walking out of the living room and back to the foyer. Sitting down, she started to put on her discarded shoes. She looked unhappy yet resigned.

"Wha? Deemmi! You can't be serious! What about the project?" He was starting to panic himself.

"I'll cover the first five chapters. We will divide it among ourselves, five chapters each... I'll make notes... You guys do the same, and then make copies. We can exchange information at class," she rambled on as she stood and clutched her school bag to her chest.

"Demi! You're serious!"

"As much as I regret doing this... I can't take the chance Nick. That trip means too much."

"Well what if his parents came home?" he strived to keep her from leaving.

Demi shook her head. "That's even worse. Then they'll know I was alone with you guys."

Nick growled in frustration, running out of ways to persuade her to remain.

"Ah! Joe," she noted the other boy's presence as he entered the room. "You heard?"

He nodded. "I understand. We'll talk in class tomorrow."

She nodded back, thankful. "I apologize. I'll see you guys tomorrow. Work hard, okay?" She winked, and was gone.

Nick stared at the empty space that Demi had just occupied for a long second. Disbelief was written plain on his face.

"Well," he said after wards, recovering his composure, "if that's the case, I'll be going too."

He stepped forward to get his things and Joe blocked his way.

"Move. We will do what Demi suggested. We will trade information tomorrow," he said, moving around the other boy. He yelped as he felt the back of his shirt collar being pulled. His body was spun and slammed against the frame of the threshold leading to the living room.

He felt Joe's body press against his, preventing his escape. "Well, this is a very familiar position," he drawled.

"It is, isn't it?" Joe agreed.

Nick stared into dark eyes. Eyes that held brilliant depths, yet offered no enlightenment and betrayed no emotion.

"You have a reason for this?" Nick inquired, feeling the cold touch of the stone behind him seeping through his shirt.

"Most of the time, no." The pale boy ran his hands up and down Nick's sides. Fingertips pressed lightly on clothed flesh.

"I'd hate to mess up your house once I begin breaking things over your head, Jonas," Nick warned, shivering a little at Joe's caress.

"Mmmm?" Joe fisted a patch of brown hair painfully. Tilting Nick's head, he delicately licked the exposed throat.

"You know," Nick winced as the fist tightened, but continued speaking anyway, "I think I've been too tolerant these days. Why don't I take that expensive looking vase over there and break it over your head? Then pick up the pieces and slice your guts open, hmm? What do you think?" he asked almost wistfully.

Joe growled against his neck and rubbed his hips sensually against Nick's.

"God, you're sick. If I didn't know better, I'd think that excited you." He hissed as Joe's other hand reached under his shirt to pinch a hardening nipple.

"I'm leaving." He attempted to push the other boy away from him. "Oof!" Joe slammed him back and his spine collided against the hard stone threshold, driving the wind from his lungs. "Fuck—! That's it!"

Outside, thunder rolled and rain began to pour from the sky. Nick threw a punch; a fist connected with his stomach as his punch was evaded.

"Aaaarrrrgh!" He unleashed a frustrated scream and threw his body against Joe's. They both crashed to the floor, hard. Bones collided with the solid surface and tortured muscles protested. Groaning, Nick sat up and attempted to deliver a blow to the other boy's abdomen. Before he could follow through, a fist had him seeing stars. His jaw ached. Their bodies thrashed around on the floor, grappling.

"Shit!" Nick writhed as Joe flipped him over and used his body to pin him down. His wrists were trapped by strong hands as his arms were held over his head. Joe straddled his waist.

"Give up," the raven-haired boy murmured, displeased with Nick's obstinacy.

Nick tried to break away from Joe's hold. It was futile he knew, yet he still struggled. Joe shifted a little and rubbed against Nick. He lowered his head to lap at Nick's jaw line. The forest-eyed boy attempted to bash Joe's skull with his, but his head was restrained in the nick of time by a fist grabbing his chestnut hair.

"Fuck!"

Joe panted against his ear. "Stay, loser. I won't touch you," he said, rocking against Nick's pelvis.

"If I have to look at your face a minute longer, asshole, I'm gonna bash my own brain out of my skull," he hissed.

Joe laughed low against his ear. "Well…? Will you stay? We don't want to disappoint Demi, hmm?"

Nick closed his eyes as Joe continued rubbing against him. He sighed. "Why are you still touching me?"

"You haven't agreed," he hummed, kissing down Nick's sun-kissed throat.

"I'd ask you why you do this, but I know I won't get an answer," he grunted as his body responded to Joe's stimulus and rocked back. He suddenly became acutely aware of his painfully hard state.

"I never thought you minded," Joe said, grinding himself harder against the boy.

Their bodies rocked harder against each other, meeting each other's rhythm. Nick's breath hitched. _God, stupid body_, he thought miserably.

"You never thought to ask… Or ahhh! Listen—ahhh!" He felt Joe's hold on his arm weaken, but he didn't stop rocking. Couldn't stop. "Are you aware that your parents can walk in on this any minute?" he asked instead.

"What is 'this'?" Joe asked as he stared into hazy, olive-tinted eyes.

"This!" Nick was losing himself to the sensations as he rocked back against Joe's hard, clothed shaft. Unbidden, his mind brought back the image of Joe's mouth on his hard flesh. "Shit... I'm... Ahhhh!"

Joe's hand snaked down to grab Nick's hip and pressed it harder against his.

"What the fuck do you want from me?" Nick shouted in exasperation.

"Come," Joe hissed.

"Ahhhhh!"

"—Nnnnn..."

Both boys tensed and found their release at the same time. Bodies writhed in unleashed pleasure, rocking together. Joe grabbed hold of Nick's shuddering shoulders as the brunette gripped the fingers that held his hands. They lay panting, slack, as they tried to catch their breaths.

"Fuck you, Jonas," Nick said after a while. "My pants are wet." He groaned as Joe moved against his soft but still sensitized flesh.

"I'll lend you a pair." Joe stood up shakily. His body felt heavy. He noted the wet state of his pants as well. "So are you gonna stay, loser?"

"You touched me." Nick got up as well, legs unsteady.

"You hadn't agreed."

"Shit, Jonas! Since when can someone think with a hard dick rubbing against his!" he exclaimed.

Joe laughed softly then, clutching his stomach in mirth.

"Hmph." Nick only shook his head. Joe sounded nice when he was laughing. He grinned a little. Well, it was funny.

"Hey! I'd like a new pair of pants, asshole!" To his ears, his voice almost sounded light and joking.

"Follow me then," Joe said once his unexpected laughter had subsided. He led the other boy to his room, feeling the sticky wetness between his legs with every step.

Nick changed into the borrowed pants after he'd cleaned himself off. He looked outside the window. It was raining heavily. When he stepped out the bathroom, he found Joe in the living room, changed as well.

They spent two hours writing notes and researching. It surprised Nick that they could be civil towards each other when it was necessary. He couldn't recall an occasion when they'd been alone together for this long without Joe making a move or both of them pounding fists into each other's faces.

"Want something to drink?" Nick looked up at the voice. Joe was surrounded by sheets of paper and opened books littered his vicinity. Reading glasses were perched on his nose.

"Sure," he agreed, realizing that he had been ignoring his thirst.

"Want to take a break?" Joe asked.

Nick drew a deep breath then exhaled. "Yeah." He stretched, standing. "I could use one." He followed Joe to the large kitchen.

"What do you like?"

Nick shrugged. "Whatever you have."

"Soda?"

"Sure."

Nick sat on a tall stool beside the kitchen table, watching Joe move around the kitchen. He accepted the glass of iced soda and nodded his thanks. Joe opened a container of cookies and the boys ate quietly.

"We're almost civil," Nick said, vocalizing his earlier thoughts, breaking the silence after a few minutes of peacefully munching on cookies and sipping on drinks.

"What would qualify as actual civility?" Joe asked.

Nick contemplated the question. He wanted to say that Joe would have to give back his pendant. "If you allowed me to pound you to the ground and call it even," he sneered instead.

Joe was sure Nick meant with his fists, but played ignorant. He smirked. "The ground, the wall, the mattress... Wherever you want to pound me, Jones."

Nick choked on his drink, coughing violently. He was red from either Joe's tease or from choking or both, Joe couldn't tell. He grinned and watched the other boy calmly.

When his coughing subsided, Nick gave Joe a scathing glare. "You know that's not what I meant."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, quit playing dumb."

Suddenly serious, Joe asked, "Why don't you mean it then?"

"Wha—?"

"Why don't you get me back?" Joe pursued.

Nick noticed the shift in topic. They were treading unfamiliar territory. They'd never spoken about it. They'd never discussed why they treated each other the way they did. Should he answer? Should he evade? They still had the work to do. Nick finished his drink and then looked Joe in the eye.

"I don't want to," he said.

"You don't want to? Even just to get back at me?"

"I don't win either way." He sighed, then looked at the dark-haired boy. "Listen... Let's not talk about this. We have work to do. Let's keep that civility lingering a little longer, huh?"

Nick turned to walk back to the living room, when he was grabbed from behind. Strong arms wrapped around his waist.

"I thought you'd learned by now not to turn your back on me, loser."

Nick stood still as lips rained soft kisses on the back of his neck. A warm tongue lapped tenderly. He felt his knees weaken.

"Civility's slipping Jonas..." he warned as the arms pulled him flushed against the hard, muscular body.

"We were never civil." Joe buried his face into Nick's brown curls.

Nick snorted. "Yeah, you're certainly no help."

"Get back at me, Jones."

Nick grunted as he was pushed against the table. His arms flew out to keep himself from falling. He supported his weight with his arms, leaning on the table top. Behind him, he felt Joe press his hip against his ass. A hand snaked around to hold on to Nick's groin, stroking it back to life.

"What do you say? Have your way with me," Joe coaxed.

Nick hissed as the hand opened the fly of his pants and drew the quickly hardening organ out. "Don't you ever think of anything else?" He bit his lip to keep from moaning as Joe stroked him sensuously.

"Not when you're around."

"What?" he asked incredulously.

With no further preamble, he was dragged to the living room by a hard grip on his wrist.

He was pushed to sit on the sofa as Joe stood in front of him, looking down into his bewildered eyes. "Suck me off."

"You're fucking joking!" Nick began to rise, only to be shoved back against the cushion. "Why the hell should I?"

"You never questioned this before! Don't ask now!" Joe's eyes were two frozen lakes of dark ice. His voice was imposing.

"I never sucked you off! And I'm not about to start now, asshole!"

Joe drew the chain out of his shirt, flashing the beloved pendant.

"No!" Nick's voice cracked. "You don't have to go that far!"

"You'll do it?" Joe noted idly that Nick was still hard.

He bowed his head. "Not here... I don't want your folks showing up."

"They won't..."

"—I said not here!" Nick slammed his fist on the couch cushion.

Joe nodded, then pulled Nick to his bedroom upstairs by his elbow. They entered the lavish room and Joe locked the door behind them. Nick sat on the bed and Joe stood over him once more. With shaking hands, Nick unzipped Joe's pants and reached for the throbbing erection.

Nick looked up. "You sure you trust me with this?"

"Trust..." Joe's voice was flat, detached. He pushed Nick to lie down on the mattress.

"What...?"

"Change of plans."

Joe covered Nick's body with his own, aligning their erections.

They both hissed at the contact. Nick felt that things had gotten a little out of hand. A tease against a wall or against library books was one thing, but... He felt he softness of the bed against his back. He moaned as Joe took both of their erections and stroked fast. The friction as heated flesh slid against heated flesh was unbearable.

"Jonas..." He grabbed the boy's shoulders and squeezed. "I don't think this a good idea... Ahhh!" He bucked as Joe released their engorged flesh and ground his erection against him. Nick couldn't help but rock back.

"Don't think when there's a hard dick rubbing against you," Joe whispered, capturing Nick's earlobe between his teeth, mimicking the boy's earlier words. "Suck me off," he whispered, releasing the soft lobe as he spoke, and then taking it once more.

"I can't..." Nick rasped.

"You can't or you won't?"

"Nnnnnn..." Nick's breath grew ragged. "Can't... Can't think," he grated out.

Joe released his earlobe, then moved away. He maneuvered his body so that Nick was faced with his erection.

"Wha? Ahhhhh!" Nick arched off the mattress as Joe took him fully in his mouth. Nick gulped, bracing himself then held the boy's hip steady and tentatively licked the leaking flesh. He felt the body above his shiver as he ran a tongue over the head. He felt a sort of thrill knowing he had caused such a reaction.

Slowly, he took in as much as he could and tried to concentrate. He found it difficult when there was an overly enthusiastic mouth trying to bring him off. Not to be out-moved, he redoubled his efforts and was pleased to hear an answering moan. He pushed all questioning doubts to the back of his mind and concentrated on sucking the throbbing flesh in his mouth.

Pleasure coursed throughout his flushed body. He thrust his hips as Joe's relentless mouth brought him closer to completion. He held Joe's balls and caressed them, which caused the boy to thrust into his mouth. Joe hummed around his flesh and played with his balls as well. _Fuck!_ Nick bobbed his head quickly, tongue lapping and mouth sucking hard. He was close. He felt the body above his tense and knew the other was close as well. An urge built inside him and he did nothing to stop it.

He hummed and sucked hard and rejoiced when he felt Joe orgasm. Strong fingertips clutched his hips painfully. It was all he could take until he, too, succumbed to his sought after release. Liquid burned his throat but he swallowed nonetheless. He felt the other boy suck once more until he released the softening flesh.

Joe collapsed on his back, arms limp by his side. Their breathing was heavy as they let the intense feelings hum throughout their bodies.

Nick stared disbelieving at the ceiling. He'd done it. He didn't know what to feel. Should he be disgusted? He thought back, and found that during the act, he'd wanted it. He'd wanted Jonas to feel the same helplessness he felt. He'd wanted Jonas to come first.

He heard the whisper of cloth against the bed.

Joe crawled over Nick's sated body. The eyes that looked to the ceiling met his dark, half-lidded ones. He peered at the brunette's swollen mouth. A line of liquid dripped from those lips. He bent over to swipe languidly at the droplet. He tasted himself and felt the body below him shudder.

Nick gulped. "We should get back to work," he whispered against Joe's hair as the other boy rested on his chest, lapping and sucking wearily at the sun-kissed exposed collarbone.

"Nothing fazes you, does it?" The question hung in the silence.

"Maybe," Nick whispered back after a moment. They lay side by side as they recovered their strength. When he finally felt rested enough, Joe stood up and mended his rumpled state. Nick did the same. They spent two more hours working on the project, talking occasionally, but nothing further than discussing the project.

At last, Nick looked up. "I should get going."

Joe noted the late hour and nodded. They packed their bags quietly. Nick shoved his soiled uniform pants in his bag.

At the door, he said, "Your pants…"

Joe shook his head. "Give them to me when I come over."

"Will you?"

"We can't use my house all the time."

Nick nodded his head, agreeing. Although Joe's parents had yet to make an appearance, he could see how the constant presence of a couple of guests may become disruptive in their eyes. Wasn't that how most people were? In his apartment, it was better, he thought. No one would protest. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

Joe walked up to him, one hand tilting his chin, as the boy pressed a lingering kiss to his neck. "See you tomorrow." Warm breath washed over his neck, raising goose bumps.

He stepped outside into the crisp autumn evening and left the silent castle that belonged to his... his... It dawned on him that he was no longer sure what Joe was to him.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	5. Winter Hot Chocolate

Chapter 5 – Winter Hot Chocolate

* * *

><p>"So? How did it go last night?"<p>

Attendance had been taken and the students were told to gather in their respective groups to work on the term project. The screech of the desks' metal legs against the floor was accompanied by shuffling papers and quiet discussions. Demi questioned a drowsy Nick as they made their way to Joe's desk.

"It was alright, we got some stuff done," he yawned.

"You guys didn't fight, did you?" she paused in her bee-line toward the dark-haired youth, concerned. "I know how you guys can't stand each other. You know I would have stayed if I could," she said, frowning.

Nick flushed and felt his aching jaw. There were no bruises, but it still ached. When he got home last night, he had assessed his injuries. He flushed even harder when he recalled that the most distinct bruising was found on his hips. Where Joe had—

"Nick, are you okay?" Demi's voice broke through the sudden cloud that had blanketed his mind.

"Huh?"

"Where were you?" Her dark eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she tugged him forward and they walked on.

_Under Joe,_ his mind provided mischievously. "Ummm nowhere," he laughed, embarrassed.

"Hmm?" Demi looked unconvinced, but she let it drop when they reached Joe's desk.

"Good morning, Joeee!" she gushed.

They received a nod from the class president and any further discussion that followed only concerned the project. They shared notes, assigned each other's responsibilities and plans for the presentation. Amidst the discussion, Nick noted the distance he felt in Joe's demeanor. Not toward himself—he would never be concerned with something so petty—but the distance the dark-haired boy expressed toward the student body in general. He seemed so aloof; out of reach.

"Oh!" Demi spoke during a short lull in their discussions. "After school, why don't we go for some ice cream! Right, Joe? Just hang out a little..." she offered, a twinkling hope in her eyes. "We should go over to my work place... I'm sure we would get a discount!"

Joe shrugged, always seeming unconcerned. "Sure," he said, as it hadn't mattered to him either way.

Demi drew in an excited breath.

"Really?"

She sounded excited, as if daring to hope. At his affirmative nod, her eyes sparkled. Nick suspected her mind was already churning with all sorts of ideas and was slowly filling with girly glee. Even though he would be there as well, he was sure she had already forgotten that minor detail. Her expressions where clearly drawn on her face.

Nick briefly wondered why Jonas never showed even a slight interest toward his friend. She painted a picture of naiveté and a shy kindness, when she wasn't being influenced by outside forces. She was only vindictive when faced with the other girls, but wasn't that what competition influenced? She was beautiful to say the least. Even he himself could easily fall for her.

Under the table, Nick was startled as his foot was nudged softly. He suspected it to be Demi, but noticed the girl was still chattering about the ice cream parlor. He furrowed his eyebrows, a little baffled. A second later, he felt another kick and was positive it wasn't Demi when she had stretched both legs on the aisle. He glanced at Joe, but the boy looked to be ignoring the world in general. Nick shrugged and went back to copying notes from the textbook.

"So, Joe. What's your favorite flavor?" Demi asked.

"Jones," Joe replied without skipping a beat, in what seemed was genuine seriousness.

"Eh? Jones flavor?" she tilted her head, mystified.

Nick sputtered, red coloring his cheeks.

"Jones," Joe continued. "What's your favorite flavor?"

Nick glared at the boy and refused to acknowledge the innuendo, even if his earlier sputtering had done the acknowledging already. A smirk tugged on the other boy's lips.

"Hmm? Nick, you like chocolate, don't you?" Demi helped, ignorant to the heated glare he directed toward Joe. _Good, she didn't suspect anything_, he thought. She was a smart girl, but around Jonas, she was always struck stupid.

"Yeah, chocolate's good." He ignored Jonas's growing smirk. He didn't want to know what he was thinking in that sick mind of his right now.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Nick! Hurry up and change already!" he heard Matt call from somewhere within the locker room.<p>

"I'll be right out!" Nick shouted back.

He changed later than the guys this morning. He usually bore some kind of bruise or other abrasion on his body that could simply be explained and dismissed. However, this time Joe left some rather interesting marks on his chest that would be difficult to explain and was sure to not immediately be dismissed. His hips were hidden under his sweats, but he was still careful. He had a sudden urge to leave marks on the pale boy's body just to be vindictive. He would like to see how the class president would deal with a few marks on his neck.

A sudden thought nudged itself into his mind. He realized that Joe was hardly seen with a particular girl. They were all careful not to be too close. Then, was there any particular guy that hung around Joe all the time? He wondered. If they saw questionable marks on Joe, who would be the first one they would suspect?

He gulped. _Heh, lately I've been around him a lot._ He cringed at the startling discovery.

His thoughts were interrupted as a warm hand touched his bare chest, palm pressed onto his skin, fingers splayed. The person of his meandering thoughts stood in front of him, shirtless. The hand moved from one mark to the other. Five dark ones and three lighter in shade. He looked at the other boy's unmarked chiseled chest. A pendant hung from a long silver chain. They stood in silence as Joe caressed his abused skin and Nick tracked the pendant's every subtle shift as Joe moved. Having noticed his gaze, Joe held the object of the boy's attention and hid it in his fist, hidden from sight.

"Do they notice?" Nick quietly asked.

"Who? Notice what?" Joe asked, murmuring as his fingers traced the bumps of Nick's abs, then moved lower to play with the waistline of the grey gym pants.

"Anyone that's seen you shirtless," Nick answered, "that you wear the chain I've worn all my life."

Joe frowned, then turned away to walk to his locker. He grabbed a shirt and put it on quickly.

"No," Joe answered softly, but loud enough for Nick to hear. With no further comment, Joe left the room. Nick stared after him. He missed the familiar weight of the pendant when it hung around his neck, and felt naked without it. Nick drew a small spiral over his chest, the same design etched on the coin-sized pendant.

* * *

><p>"Man! It's freezing!" Nick howled as an angry gust of wind whipped and chilled his uncovered head.<p>

"I know..." Demi looked sideways at Nick as they walked across the school yard. She wrapped her arms around her, pulling her coat closer.

"Damn early snowfalls," she complained as her teeth chattered noisily. "If I knew it was going to be this cold, I wouldn't have worn my knee socks."

After a moment of thought, she continued. "Actually, I shouldn't have worn the damn skirt in the first place."

"What? Are you finally going to wear the standard uniform pants?" Nick quipped beside her.

As if remembering the pants' style, she frowned in distaste. "Eww, never mind. I'd rather freeze my legs off first before I put those hideous things on."

Nick saw her observe a few girls ahead of them braving the cold like herself, clad in the school kilt. "Yeah, no way in hell I'd let Joe see me in those horrid pants."

He hid a smile, having thought that the sensible part of her mind that would have called her an idiot froze a long time ago. Keeping the observation to himself, lest he got hurt for his humor, he only smiled knowingly.

Another wicked gust of wind pushed at them. He shivered, mimicking Demi's actions earlier and pulled his coat closer to himself. "Damn... I hate the cold," Nick whispered.

Beside him, Demi blinked as several snowflakes landed on her eyelashes. She looked over at him as they trudged through the snow covered school yard. As if tempted, her had stopped mid-motion, hovering over his head. She had probably wanted to brush away the white snow collecting on his curly hair. Her hand drew into a fist, before retreating as if caught when she found his eyes on her hand. Shaking his head wildly, he dislodged the loose flakes, brushing his hair back to get rid of the rest.

"It's that time again... Isn't it? Because of the snow, your family—"

"Hey, Demi…" he spoke up over the howl of the wind suddenly.

Demi stopped what she was about to say, much to Nick's relief, and inquired what he wanted instead.

"We're almost done with the project, right?" he asked.

Paying attention quickly, probably because he hardly spoke of school matters and she was always excited when he did. Especially when it involved the project they shared with her crush.

"Hmm, we do enough when we meet. It has been nearly every night after all. And I can't go out with the girls as much anymore..." she pouted briefly before continuing with her observations. "I think we do more when we're over at Joe's place."

As if catching a sudden thought, she turned to him with a conspiring expression on her face. "Hey, do you remember that night when we stayed for dinner? It was a little uncomfortable, wasn't it?" Looking up to the gray skies, she frowned as if recalling which night she spoke of. In a quiet voice, she continued. "Joe's parents were... well, they weren't unkind... They were nice to us. But don't you think they were a little cold to Joe? It was like he wasn't there." She snorted. "They were kinder to the furniture compared to the way they had treated him."

Nick wasn't compelled to comment. He had seen it too. The cold gazes, the clipped and level-toned replies between Jonas and his parents. It was all very daunting.

"Demi?" he asked, reminding her of his previous question before she went off topic.

"Oh!" she grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. Umm yes we're almost finished, why do you ask?"

"Heh," he grinned, hiding the frown that threatened to appear instead. "I forgot now. I was just wondering how long I had to put up with Jonas, I guess," he shrugged.

"Oh! That reminds me—WAH!" she stopped suddenly, slipping on a patch of ice. Moving swiftly, Nick caught her around the waist, pulling her against him. Clutching on his coat, she smiled thankfully at him.

Letting go, she tugged her clothes into place.

"Have you heard from Joe?" she asked randomly. He raised an eyebrow toward her and actually made her blush.

"Right. You're the last person I should ask when it concerns Joe. Anyways, have you noticed that he hasn't been in class for three days now?"

"Demi." He waggled his eyebrows at her, grinning. "Aren't you a member of the Joe Jonas fan club, member number 25? Shouldn't you know these things?"

_Sure I've noticed_, he thought, _I haven't had a fight these last three days._

"Yeah." She grinned sheepishly then turned serious. "I don't know what's gotten into me lately."

"Yeah, you've been spacing out a lot," he snickered.

"Shut up!"

He effectively dodged what would have been a painful swipe at the head.

"I'm only concerned. He hasn't shown up in three days and the project is almost over. I don't know if he has finished his part—"

"Is that all?" he asked.

"Well, no. I wonder if he is alright. Miley said he was present before class began, talking to the teacher, but he wasn't there during class or lunch today and also the other days. I guess I'm just worried," she contemplated out loud.

"I'm sure he's finished his part of the project, and don't worry. He's a big boy; he can take care of himself," Nick reassured.

As he turned away from observing how pink her cheeks were turning from the cold, he saw the older library he would be spending his period in.

"Okay, Demi. I have a spare for third and fourth. I'll probably see you after school. But don't wait up for me if I'm not there five minutes after the bell. I might just go home early." Nick grinned impishly.

"What! How the hell did you get two periods off?" she squawked, indignant at his luck.

His grin grew wider, transforming into a pleased smile. "The teachers had field trips for their other classes. We were assigned work and told to find a place to stay."

Demi pouted. "Luuucky. I wish my teachers went on a field trip." She sighed then waved as Nick walked backwards, waving at her. Facing forward, he ran to the building. He grinned as he thought how it was just like her—if he turned back, it would confirm it—to frown at him running on slippery ground. He hoped she got inside soon; the wind was starting to pick up.

* * *

><p>Nick leaned back on the edge of his desk, feet braced against the floor. His notes were scattered on the large desk's surface. Work sheets had piled up after working the last two nights. Deciding that the spare periods given to him were ample opportunity to catch up, he got to work immediately.<p>

After a while however, his motivation began to diminish and boredom began to invade his numbed senses.

"I guess I could just go home," he conversed casually with the empty library.

"But it's too quiet there..." he murmured after a moment of consideration. He snorted when he realized he was alone in the old library as well, and the only sound he had heard so far was the flipping of pages from the book he had read and the haunting moan of the early winter wind outside the window.

"But there's a difference..." Nick murmured. He put down the book, squeezed the bridge of his nose in frustration, and sighed. _Yeah, a world of difference_, he thought almost miserably. The three buildings that surrounded the one he occupied at the moment were filled with people.

"Well, my apartment's also surrounded by a lot of people..." he argued with himself.

_I guess there is really no difference then_, he thought.

Beyond the glass windows, he saw the snowflakes dance with the wind. An enchanting dance that was so blithe. For a moment he wished he was a snowflake.

_The meaning of my existence would be to form into an elaborate and unique shape, fall down from the gray skies, dance with the winds and pile on top of the rest of the snowflakes to be stepped on or plowed. Or maybe I might help cap a street sign white. Or perhaps join the more vindictive of snowflakes and merge with them to become a mean, well aimed snowball_, he thought, chuckling.

His eyelids lowered, suddenly pensive.

"Or simply flutter down from the sky, tango with the wind, then melt on someone's happy tongue."

Nick laughed out loud at his absurdity.

_Maybe I _should_ just go home_, he wondered again, shaking his head.

In the distance, he heard footsteps ascending the spiral staircase, but wasn't sure where they were headed since the carpeted flooring muffled each step. He tried to watch out for anyone approaching, but the sparse yellow lights in his wing provided little to no illumination. Most of the light came from the window, but even that was no help. Only dim gray light streamed through the foggy glass. He checked the ancient clock nailed above a book shelf. He'd only been there for twenty minutes. He wondered who would be out of class in the middle of a period.

He picked up his book once more, deciding to ignore the new presence, but dropped it when a figure appeared at the corner of his eyes. The sound of the book hitting the floor echoed throughout the wing. He gaped in surprise, remaining silent.

"Jones..."

Nick watched as the pale boy strode slowly toward him. He furrowed his eyebrows when he noticed the boy wore no coat, so the shoulder of the white uniform was wet with melting snow. Water droplets fell from wet chunks of dark strands.

"Jonas. What are you—" the boy stood in front of him as unsteady hands reached for his bare arms. Nick only wore the short sleeved shirt today, causing him to flinch as freezing fingers wrapped around his forearms.

"Shit! You're freezing!" he exclaimed, but didn't pull away.

"Shut up, loser…" Joe's voice shook, perhaps, from the cold. Nick peered into dark dull eyes. The boy's face looked strained, troubled.

Freezing lips descended on his neck as a greeting, Nick supposed. He shivered at the contact.

"God... you're freezing..." he moved away but was pulled roughly forward.

"Don't! Don't resist me..." Joe's eyes glowed with something angry for a moment before he lowered his head to lay languid licks and kisses on Nick's jaw and neck.

"So warm..." Joe whispered, voice seeming far away. Nick's eyes grew wide as the boy burrowed himself against his body, head tucked under his chin.

He gulped and looked down at the still shivering body.

"Idiot. Where's your coat? It's freezing out there!" He remained still, breath catching when Joe's arms grabbed the front of his shirt and pulled him closer. _What's going on here?_ he laughed inwardly, unsure. He never knew what to expect from Jonas.

Cautiously, he rested his hands over the boy's shivering shoulders.

"Jonas... I..." A shudder went through the slim frame.

Closing his eyes and bracing himself, Nick wrapped his arms around the boy's shoulders tentatively. The wet cloth soaked into his shirt. He drew the body close against him, between his legs and reached to brush off the melting snow on top of Joe's head. The snow fell on the carpet and began to melt. Silence reigned for long minutes as he held the boy in his warm arms. After a while, the shivering subsided, but neither moved. Nick rested his cheeks on the boy's damp head. When he opened his half-lidded eyes fully, he barely recognized the fingers that ran through the dark damp hair as his.

"What's wrong, Jonas?" his question was but a whisper, compared to his loud, rapidly beating heart.

"Where have you been?" the dark-haired boy asked after a moment of silence.

"I would ask you the same thing, if I cared." He said the words, but it sounded hollow to his ears somehow. It lacked conviction, perhaps it lacked truth. He wasn't sure nowadays, he just let the wind carry him. _I guess it's no different from being a snowflake_, he thought. Nick continued to run his fingers through the boy's hair, his actions contradicting his words. He stared ahead, into distant space.

"I was on the roof, pretending I was a snowflake. I wondered if I jumped off the edge, if I would flutter down," Joe wondered softly.

Nick stilled, not knowing what to say. So he remained silent and continued to stroke the dark hair instead.

Nimble fingers began to unbutton his shirt. When the fabric was parted, soft kisses adorned his bare chest.

"Why don't you tell me to go away?" Joe whispered against his skin.

Taken aback, Nick considered the question and then snorted in half amusement. "You wouldn't listen to me, even if I did." Then in a softer voice, he said, "Besides, it's not the worst scenario one could be in. There are worse things."

"Most people would say I was forcing you against your will." the husky voice whispered with bitter humor.

Nick thought of all the situations he'd found himself in, pertaining to the dark-haired boy. He agreed; most people would probably say that. _However…_

He tilted his head to allow Joe access to his neck as a hand caressed his inner thigh.

However, if he never really wanted...

He sighed as the hot tongue caressed the vein in his neck causing a ripple of electricity to spread throughout his body. Nick closed his eyes and immersed himself in the feeling.

If he never really wanted it, he would have stopped it. He wouldn't stand for such a treatment.

He stopped running his fingers through Joe's hair, burying them into the soft locks. Shifting, Nick brought his other hand up to run it along the boy's moving jaw.

No, he wouldn't stand idly by and allow anyone to use his body. He would fight it.

_"Why don't you tell me to go away?''_ Joe's question from earlier rang through his mind.

_Because..._

He opened his eyes and held Joe's head still, meeting the shadowed gaze. Dark eyes bathed in lust watched him silently. He watched, fascinated, as his thumb caressed the side of the swollen lips and slowly, he brought his head closer to the parted mouth. Close enough to touch.

He whispered, their warm breaths mingling. "I wouldn't call this against my will."

Nick saw Joe's eyes widen in surprise as he swiped his tongue over the boy's bottom lip. Joe tilted his head to the side, as if asking silently. Nick obliged and licked the pale neck, his tongue wetting the skin. He felt and heard Joe's breath catch as he sucked and licked in a deliberate slow pace.

Nick smirked when Joe allowed himself to be pushed back as they sought the solidness of the library wall.

Nick brought his body against Joe's, a familiar situation, but also quite different. He teased the vein on Joe's neck as he ran a hand down to the other boy's awakening erection. His other hand buried into the dark hair. He stroked the growing bulge, invoking a moan from the boy.

He smiled against the pale skin when he felt a thrill at hearing Joe moan. He boldly unzipped Joe's pants, reached beneath the boxers and curled his fingers around Joe's hard cock. He ran his thumb over the moist tip as Joe grunted and pressed himself harder into Nick's grip.

"Jones... What are you doing?" Jonas asked, breathless.

Nick laughed lowly against Joe's neck and then brought his head up to look the other boy in the eye. Joe's eyelids almost closed, his eyes glazed beneath eyelashes as Nick stroked faster. Nick was surprised at how the other boy's moans and gasps were affecting his own arousal.

"Is this how you feel when you're jerking me off in the middle of the hallway?" he asked, concealing an almost grin.

Nick spied a small smirk on the pale face. "You taste like snow..." he murmured.

Joe gasped as Nick stroked faster.

"Suck me off, loser."

"You want me to?" Nick wet his lips as he saw a glimmer in Joe's dark eyes. He watched the hurt gaze disappear and a more recognizable and confident gleam sliced through.

"Yeah," Joe murmured in anticipation.

Before he had a chance to think about it, Nick kissed Joe's snow scented skin, pressing his lips harder against the neck.

"Alright," Nick whispered.

He slowly kissed down Joe's body, kissing both skin and cloth. When his knees touched the floor, he lowered Joe's pants and boxers down his thighs, freeing the swollen erection.

Nick felt Joe's intent gaze on him as pale fingers buried themselves into his equally pale hair.

Excitement thrummed in his body as he held Joe's cock in his hands. He gave a tentative lick at the pre-cum gathering around the crown, tonguing the tiny slit. Growing bolder as he felt Joe shudder, he lapped on the underside as his hand pumped from the base. He allowed the desire to pleasure Joe drown out the mild nervousness that vibrated in his stomach before he took what he could of Joe's cock into his mouth. He concentrated on the feeling of the cock and his breathing instead of the urge to gag. Slowly he swallowed a little more, his nose burrowing into the soft black curls at the base. He breathed Joe's scent in, feeling his own erection throb at the musky masculine scent.

"Ahhhhh! Fuck! So good... Jones," Joe encouraged.

Nick held Joe's hips steady as they fought to thrust into his warm mouth. He sucked harder, wanting to hear Joe moan and feel his body shudder in pleasure.

"God... Loser... Nnnnn..."

Nick caressed Joe's balls, massaging lightly, thinking of what he would like if he were in Joe's place. His other hand stroked along the hard length and coaxed more moans from the usually silent boy.

He looked up at the dark eyes as he sucked and stroked the throbbing flesh thoroughly.

Joe wet his suddenly dry lips, staring down at him in lust-filled fascination. As if watching his length disappear into Nick's warm mouth.

"Jones..." Joe rasped before he came into Nick's mouth. Joe clutched at his hair as his voice screamed hoarsely.

Nick shut his lids tightly and winced as the other boy's fingers pulled at his hair. He felt the body tensed as hot cum hit his throat. Mildly startled, he swallowed the hot liquid and at Joe's scream of pleasure, he swallowed more greedily. A feeling of almost pleasure buzzed along his veins as he looked up at Joe, knowing he had caused Joe's momentary lack of control. He caught Joe's body as the boy's knees gave out and guided the exhausted boy to sit on the floor.

They stared at one another as Joe caught his breath. Nick felt the boy's gaze on him as he wiped the side of his mouth with a shirt sleeve.

Joe tucked himself in slowly and pulled his pants up, zipping it closed.

Nick shifted as Joe eyed the obvious bulge in his pants.

"You're hard," Joe said softly, as if astonished.

Their gazes met.

"Yeah," Nick agreed. "You're an unbelievable sight when you come," he said evenly.

"Am I?" Joe asked, looking amused and perhaps amazed.

"Yeah," the brunette boy grinned.

"Let me see you," Joe asked suddenly.

"What? Haven't you seen me come enough times?" Nick fidgeted, suddenly nervous at the unfamiliar soft command, almost a request.

Joe got up on his knees, eye level to Nick's kneeling position.

"No, not enough," the dark-haired boy whispered as he reached for Nick's pants, sliding the zipper open and reaching in. Nick felt Joe's long fingers wrap around him; he gritted his teeth.

Nick moaned as Joe stroked him teasingly a few times, and then pushed forward as Joe's fist began to stroke quickly and almost painfully. His desire and excitement grew at the almost possessive touch. A fleeting thought asked how it felt possessive, but a drawn out stroke rendered the voices to mindless groans.

"Look at me, Jones," Joe's commanding voice asked.

Gasping at the overwhelming pressure and fighting from hunching and losing balance, Nick growled. "Kinda... hard..." he said, incapable of saying anything else.

"Hey, Nick...! Are you in here?"

Their heads snapped up at the sing-song voice.

"Nick! Wanna go out for some hot chocolate? We have a break too!"

The brunette groaned out in disappointment, coupled with a groan of pleasure as Joe continued to stroke him, unmindful of their unexpected company.

"Demi..." he gasped. "Ahh!... and Miley." Nick identified the voices.

Uncaring, Joe pulled Nick to his feet then pushed him against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Nick hissed. "They're coming!"

Joe stroked him harder, mischief shining in his eyes. "Yeah... let's see who comes first."

Nick's eyes widened at the implication.

"Think about it..." Joe whispered. "Their crush is jerking off their friend. They'll come up here soon. They know this is where you usually are." Joe's voice made the hairs on his neck stand on end. He shivered.

Nick felt himself getting close to release. Perhaps Joe knew too, as his strokes became faster. His body tensed. Joe's other hand ran up and down Nick's side. He felt the fingers stroke his flushed skin beneath his shirt.

"When they find you, provided they don't walk in on this," Joe smirked. "You're going to speak to them. With the mouth that just gave me a very good blow job. You're going to have hot chocolate with the taste of me in your mouth," he hissed.

Nick smirked, body taut, as he felt his oncoming orgasm. "A very good blow job?" he said, taunting with a quivering and hoarse voice.

"Yeah..." Joe drew closer and licked Nick's bottom lip sensuously. His lips hovered over Nick's briefly, before moving down his neck and nipping at the soft skin.

Nick's eyes widened, then closed tightly as his body was wracked with pleasure. He bit his bottom lip to keep from screaming as he shot his hot load into Joe's waiting hand. He breathed deeply and desperately as he reached a hand out to grasp Joe's shoulder for support. Hazily, he watched as Joe brought a pale wet hand to his lips and ran a pink tongue over the palm, licking the fingers clean. Nick's throat felt dry as he swallowed deeply.

"God... you're sick..." he shuddered, fascinated as each digit was sucked clean.

Joe smirked as he tucked Nick's softening member into his pants and buttoned the disheveled shirt closed.

"I'll see you later," the pale boy said, then paused before continuing in a softer tone.

"I... today..." He faltered and pressed a kiss to Nick's neck. "You always smell like sunshine, you... you're always warm," was the cryptic remark which was followed by a more lingering kiss on Nick's neck. He ran his hands over Nick's cloth-covered chest one last time, then moved away, leaving.

Nick watched Joe disappear into the dark aisles surrounded with shelves of books. He unsteadily made his way to the desk, flopping down on the chair, exhausted. Admittedly, he told himself, it was a good type of exhaustion. He laid his arms on top of the desk, cradling his head, and stifled a sigh of contentment forming from his lips.

"Hey... Nick there you are!" An exasperated voice huffed.

He brought his head up to watch his friend approach the desk.

"God, I always get lost in this place."

"Demi! D'ya find him?" Miley walked in from the history section, fingers running along the book spines. "Oh! There you are! You could have yelled out, you know? Saved us the trouble from trying to find you in this rat maze?"

Nick quenched the urge to laugh and allowed her to continue. He didn't think yelling out in the midst of an orgasm was quite appropriate.

"So, wanna come with?" _There's that word again_, he thought, laughing inwardly.

"Where?" he asked, feigning cluelessness.

"Hot chocolate!" Demi squealed, beaming from across the table. "I heard Joe will be there with the other council members!" She practically bounced. In fact, Nick eyed his friend, she was vibrating in barely contained excitement.

"Yup! Apparently, he hasn't been around much because he's been planning with the council concerning the overnight trip. And I think because he stayed home for the other days..." Miley interjected.

Nick recalled the visits to Joe's house, a not so pleasant experience.

"We heard some of the council members talking 'bout the cafe! They said they're meeting up with Joe in a couple of minutes!"

Demi nodded excitedly. "Aaaaaand?" She prompted Miley on.

Obligingly, Miley announced, "And! No one knows about it but us!"

"Wait, wait." Nick waved his hand as if clearing away invisible floating words in the air. His head was still a little muddy after the encounter with Joe.

"So why are you inviting me?" he asked, standing up and gathering his things.

"Isn't it obvious?" Miley said, as if he should know such a simple thing. "You're a prop!"

"Prop," he echoed dryly, asking for her to elaborate, but he kind of got the idea.

"Yeah," Miley explained. "We can't look like stalkers—"

"—Heavens, no!" Demi placed a hand over her chest as if insulted.

"—So... We need you to look like we're just a group of friends going for hot chocolate," Miley beamed.

"Ahh." He nodded in understanding. "Sure, I'll come," he shrugged, agreeing after a moment of consideration. "I _am_ thirsty..."

The girls looked shocked at his willingness to play along.

"But! You're buying mine," he smirked slyly.

"Damn." Demi frowned. "I should have known there was a catch. Fine, fine... I'll treat you."

* * *

><p>The trio braved the cold and trudged through the snowy streets to the café. Muttered curses floated with their visible breaths on the freezing air as they tried to avoid slipping on the hidden patches of ice.<p>

They sighed as a wave of heat hit them upon entering the warm and welcoming café. The girls quickly spotted Joe with their sharp, obsessive eyes that only infatuated girls possessed. He was sitting among the group of the school council members sipping a hot beverage. The usual bored expression graced his handsome face.

Nick squawked as he was dragged forcibly to a table by Miley, while Demi walked up to the counter to get their drinks.

"I suppose this is strategic seating?" he asked, amused at Miley's flustered state.

"Yes," she agreed, finger-combing her long hair having been mussed by the winter wind.

Nick found himself sitting faced directly with Joe from across the room. Miley sat on his right and an empty seat on his left was for Demi.

"Why don't you want to sit on my seat?" he asked, only mildly curious.

"Because!" Miley answered, exasperated. She waved her hand about as if emphasizing the importance of her point. "We couldn't have him seeing us drink or eat! What if we looked horrible?"

Nick doubted Joe would even care, but what did he know? He said nothing and only nodded, because it seemed like the situation called for simply nodding. Thinking too much into their logic would only cause him an aching head he had no desire of getting.

"And Demi and I would fight over the chair," she finished, voice filled with resignation.

Spoken from experience, it sounded like. Nick grinned.

"Ahh, I see," he nodded once more. "And so you can sneak peeks innocently and not look like you're staring," he concluded, not really understanding their silliness, but willing to play along.

"Precisely." Demi said, catching the end of the conversation.

She handed out their drinks and they sat immersed in small talk. Nick watched as both girls snuck quick looks at a seemingly oblivious Joe. He watched how they seemed to have a planned and choreographed system. He found it unnerving.

To distract himself from thoughts of the oddness of girls, he brought his cup up to take a sip of his hot chocolate. Within a span of a few seconds—as the hot liquid hit his throat and Demi and Miley looked down into their cups, while the council members looked anywhere else but Joe—his eyes met the other boy's dark ones, an amused smirk flickered on the pale face. His eyes widened in shock as Joe made a fist with his hand and mimed pumping the air up and down.

_"You're going to have hot chocolate with the taste of me in your mouth..."_ Nick coughed violently as he choked on the scalding liquid, hearing Joe's voice in his head.

"Nick! Are you alright? You're turning red!"

The table was suddenly a flurry of activity. Demi handed him a napkin as Miley thumped his back uselessly. _Not helping!_ he thought, wincing as Miley slapped his back once more.

"He's red 'cuz he's chocking, ya ditz!" Miley chastised.

"I'll get a cup of water!'' As if struck by genius, Demi ran to the counter.

Amid the chatter of the café and the loud hiss of the espresso machine, Nick heard Joe's clear laugh ringing throughout the establishment. Presumably from a joke someone told, but his eyes caught Nick's murderous glare and smirked knowingly.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	6. Interlude: Essential Empathy: Part One

I have a few things to mention before this chapter actually begins. I feel that I need to clarify something. So, I hope you've gotten the idea, because I've tried to splash it in there a few times, but I'll just say it out-right now. Before Joe started basically sexually assaulting Nick, he used to just plain 'ol beat him up. They've always been rivals.

Also, as for the topic of Nick's pendant that Joe wears. I know I haven't elaborated on that much, and honestly, I won't spend a whole section just describing the deal about it. But basically, like I said, Joe is/was kind of a bully to Nick. (Though, Nick wasn't totally nice to him either, as you've seen...) He snatched it off Nick's neck, and he uses it to his advantage to manipulate Nick. Nick values that necklace, and Joe uses that sentiment and makes threats with it.

Along with all that I have just described above, this and the next chapter are set back in time a little bit. Here, you'll get to see a little background on how our two main characters came to be in this situation, sort of. Why they hate each other. Enjoy! :)

* * *

><p>Chapter 6 (Interlude) – Essential Empathy: Part One<p>

* * *

><p>"The voting slips should be finished by Thursday. Zac is responsible for the candidate speeches. I just need you to do a follow up on the research Rebecca collected. I think she's still missing a vital part..."<p>

Joe nodded his head automatically to the council president's requests, taking note of not only his responsibilities, but the other member's duties as well. He noticed another member was lacking in duties and reminded himself to look after it.

"...we also need to start giving out permission forms and booklets concerning the overnight trip. Perhaps we should organize a committee outside of the council that would be willing to help..."

He nodded his head once more, looking around the schoolyard as he did so. Jared walked beside him, shuffling papers around as he updated Joe on council matters. A dark low ponytail bounced on the back of his uniform jacket as he spoke to Joe. Pale eyes skimmed through the pages without looking where he walked, seeming to always know what was in front and around him. Joe watched Jared cleanly sidestep the little raise on the cement walkway that always managed to trip the unsuspecting.

"I don't think Dr. Serene approved these forms yet..." Jared noted, pausing in his stride, distracted by a loud basketball game in the schoolyard.

"I can have him look at it later. I'll need him to look over a few things too," Joe volunteered, stopping as well to look at the game.

A large crowd had gathered around the ball court. Cheers of encouragement and groans of disappointment filled the afternoon air. The boys' eyes skimmed over the watching crowd. The most boisterous of the crowd were in front, hands wildly gesturing their protests and cheers. A few of the more sedate audience hung back and offered a call of applaud or complaint when they felt it necessary.

Joe's ears perked up at a name being called as his eyes found the person addressed.

"Nick! Go for it!"

"Pass it to Nick!"

"Niick! Good luck!"

Beside him, Jared murmured what might have been an impressed sound as the brunette avoided a few adversaries and flew in the air, slamming the ball cleanly in the center of the hoop. The noise of applause erupted in the distance as the pair watched on. It seemed the game has ended and the brunette's team had won. A part of the crowd surged forth boldly and congratulated the widely grinning Nick. Eventually, the crowd began to thin out as the students started to make their way home. Until only the crowd gathering around the brunette and his playmates remained.

Joe caught the easy smile that flashed in Nick's face and the casual grace of a shrug as he was complemented. He saw Nick's body welcome and not repel the touches of congratulation and adoration he received. He found himself biting back a growl as his rival disappeared into the friendly, joyous crowd.

"The council should have gathered by now. Let's go."

"Ah," Joe agreed, giving one last look at his rival and the group surrounding him.

* * *

><p>"Joe."<p>

Joe looked up from his notebook and found the green worshipping eyes that of Demi Lovato.

"Yes?"

She fidgeted under his gaze, but continued when she felt she had his attention.

"We're missing another player for the card game. Would you like to play?"

He looked over to the group that had gathered their desks together, getting ready to start the game. He weighed the prospect of playing and leaving the work he had to do. Although a game might prove to be the distraction he needed, since the revision of the notes he was trying to complete was being stubborn, he felt a distraction was the last thing he needed. Almost reluctantly, he shook his head in the negative and gave an offhand excuse about being busy. Demi persevered and assured him it won't take much of his time. _This is true_, he thought. However, he looked over to the crowd and the chair that was supposedly saved for him. Cringing inwardly, he thought of those bodies that were to be too close to his. Again he declined her request. He felt her gather her nerve once more and readied his refusal, when the request never came. She turned quickly and welcomed the person that had entered the class.

"Nick! Wanna play cards?"

Joe watched her grip the brunette's arm as she dragged him to the waiting group of desks and students and a deck of cards. The brunette's eyes formed into curious slits looking at the pile of innocent cards, considering.

"Whatcha gonna play?" he asked, turning to Demi.

Demi's reply was lost in the angry howling wind, obscuring Joe's hearing. Inside, he raged wildly at how easily he was forgotten when the brunette had appeared. _Never mind that I refused_, he thought. _If she had asked once more, I might have agreed!_ He seethed as he watched the group begin the game, laughing raucously at a story Nick told while he expertly shuffled the cards.

Unable to stand the sight, nor the anger of his thoughts, he stood abruptly from his seat. Perhaps it was childish to feel neglected and broody when no one noted his exit, but he cared very little at the moment.

* * *

><p>"Oi! Jonas!"<p>

Joe turned from his spot beside the window overlooking the pink colored spring outdoors. He greeted David and Selena with a nod as the pair stopped in front of him.

"A bunch of the guys and me with some of the girls are going to that new amusement park this weekend. We were wonderin' if ya wanted to come or somethin'?"

Beside David, Selena nodded shyly.

Before refusing immediately, Joe gave the invitation some thought. He had a lot of school work to finish, as well as a few council assignments. He also had a piano recital on Sunday which he had to practice for. He winced as he remembered a dinner his parents had arranged with a few acquaintances, already predicting the cold 4 hours he would have to endure.

"When is it?" he asked, knowing it was a futile question. He already knew the answer to the invitation. _Am I stalling_, he asked himself.

"It... it's on Saturday, J-Joe, we're meeting around nine in the morning," Selena answered softly.

David nodded and looked at Joe expectantly.

"Well, what do you think, Jonas? It will be a blast! Everyone's already going!"

Joe bit the inside of his cheek and reluctantly shook his head.

"I can't. I have too many things to do."

"Wha? Oh man that sucks," David said, echoing Joe's own thoughts.

"Well okay, too bad, man, maybe next time, then..." David began to walk away and called for Selena who stayed a moment longer in front of Joe.

"Being in the council must be difficult, Joe. We understand though, Zac can't go either," Selena quietly said, perhaps trying to soothe away David's obvious disappointment at the black-haired teen.

"Ah."

The shy girl made a quick, polite bow when she heard his obvious dismissal, and joined her waiting companion.

Joe turned back to the window and saw his reflection. He wondered how he could not look as disappointed as he felt. He wanted to go. Truthfully, it would have been nice. He could easily not attend the dinner, he knew he would do well at the recital, and all the other assignments, council and class related, could wait until Sunday. He sighed inwardly, _it's too late now_, he thought.

He caught the reflection of the hallway behind him and startled slightly as the pair approached Nick who came from one of the classrooms. He watched, fascinated as the pair extended the invitation. _No_, he thought, _don't take this away too._

"What? Yeah sure! I was hoping to go! I saw the flyer for it a couple of weeks back! Wow I can't wait!" He saw Nick gesture enthusiastically as the trio began to walk away. They started planning immediately, unaware of his anger, leaving him behind.

Gripping the window ledge, Joe gritted his teeth in annoyance. Everything! He had to take everything! He seethed inwardly and turned away from the scene.

* * *

><p><em>All I've ever wanted<em>, Joe thought, _is what he's always had._

Joe watched hopelessly as a crowd seemed to gather around the shiny youth whenever he arrived. He listened to the conversations as he scrolled down lists of things he had to do, wincing at the howl of laughter flooding the classroom.

"Hey! Nick! Pay attention!"

Joe observed balefully as yet again, Nick was awakened by an irate Dr. Serene, but saw clearly the affection the teacher held for the sleeping youth.

"Nick! Sit with us!"

"Oi, Nick, wanna join us for a game?"

"Hey, Jones, if you don't have a partner, I could..."

"Nick, if you have a minute, can you..."

Around Joe, voices and one name swirled about his being, tugging at ugly emotions and thoughts. He covered his ears, but nonetheless, the voices reached him. He closed his eyes, but he saw him clearly, the wildly curly brown hair and the amazingly bright eyes and the smile that rivaled many and seemed to win over most.

From the center of his being, Joe hated Nick Jones.

* * *

><p>End of Interlude Part One<p>

With Love, Carlie :D


	7. Interlude: Essential Empathy: Part Two

So, keep in mind that this _is _an interlude, so it's not continuing from chapter 5. It's before any of this happened. The next chapter after this one will continue from the regular plot.

I'm posting two chapters today again because:

1) It's still the weekend, so I still have free time. :) And,

2) This interlude is short. Each part is only 1000 something words. (My normal chapters are around 3000-6000…)

So, enjoy! :)

Chapter 7 (Interlude) – Essential Empathy: Part Two

* * *

><p>"I'm going..." Nick's voice echoed in the empty apartment. He waited foolishly for a reply, but heard nothing. Locking the door to his apartment, he walked away with resigned steps. Gripping the strap of his schoolbag tightly, he valiantly ignored the emptiness that threatened to swallow him whole.<p>

He ran quickly to catch the waiting bus and offered his thanks to the impatient bus driver. Catching his breath he looked around the crowded bus for a place to stand. A pair of heads and laughing voices reached his ear. He grinned as he made his way to them. He apologized as he squeezed through the gaps in between bodies until he reached his destination.

"Good morning, Demi… Miley…" he grinned.

"G'morning," Demi briefly looked up from the magazine she was looking over. Beside her, Miley gave a limp wave and pointed to a picture in the page of the magazine Demi held.

"Oh! He is so cute in this one!" Demi squealed as Miley readily agreed.

"I know! Wow, he's still holding first place! Well, it is expected."

Miley nodded, a ridiculously proud expression on her face.

"Eh? Who are you talking about?" Without warning, Nick grabbed the magazine from Demi's careful clutches.

"Hey, Nick! Give it back!"

"Hmmm." Peering into the page, he found the images of several guys his age. Some information about them was scrolled beside or underneath the picture. He saw that they were ranked based on popularity. The largest image of all was of one he knew all too well.

"Joe Jonas is the most popular?" he gaped.

Demi took her magazine back, straightening imaginary creases.

"Don't look so shocked, Nick. Joe is the most popular guy in school, and he's the most popular compared to the other top guys in the other schools," Miley chastised.

"He even got votes from other girls from the other schools! He's so cool!" Demi beamed.

"Pfft… Give me a break! There are other guys better than Jonas," he sneered.

"Oh? Is that so? Give us one example Nick, who would be better than Joe?"

Nick paused to make sure he had their complete attention, smiling as if about to reveal a great secret. He confidently pointed a thumb to his chest.

"Me, of course!"

His announcement was met by the pair of girls laughing outright and a few giggles to his side as well.

"What? What's so funny!" he asked the girls with quaking shoulders.

"It's just..." Demi covered her mouth as more laughter tried to escape.

"Oh, geez, Nick! That's just what I needed this morning!" Miley said, thumping his back in thanks for the supposed joke.

Nick furrowed his eyebrows. He could not, for the life of him, see what was so funny.

* * *

><p>Nick scratched his head in thought as his eyes skimmed over the mathematical problem written on the board. Mr. Davis had patiently explained it to him but he must have left his brain on his kitchen counter when he took a drink this morning. It didn't help that he was also exhausted from finishing a project last night that was conveniently due today. He must have almost fallen asleep twice during the lecture, therefore missing the few important requirements needed for him to solve the math problem fully.<p>

He saw Mr. Davis turn to the class with those searching pair of eyes he unhappily identified as one a hawk would have when looking for a prey. Trying to make himself as small as possible and mentally warding off anything that may allow him to stand out, he hoped he was not spotted.

"Alright, who can give me the answer to this question?" A pause, and then, "Nick?"

_Shit_, he cursed inwardly.

He raised his bowed head and gave a clueless hum.

"Well, Nick? I explained this to you several times. Why don't you give it a go, hm?"

Nick grinned tightly. _I know that! No need to tell remind the damn class,_ he wanted to say.

He made a few clueless tilts of the head and a few nervous scratches and shrugging, hoping the teacher would give up on him.

Just when he was ready to wilt under the intense gaze Mr. Davis gave, the teacher's eyes were diverted elsewhere.

"Ah! Joe."

Nick turned to the addressed boy's seat at the back of the class. Joe put down his raised hand just as he gave the correct answer. A quiet train of murmurs rolled around the class. A few thanked Joe for answering correctly, therefore sparing anyone else from being put in the spotlight. The others cooed admirably at the pale boy.

Nick gripped his pencil, hearing the faint sound of it bending from the pressure of his clenching hand. As it snapped in his merciless fingers, he imagined Joe's neck in its place.

* * *

><p>"So I heard from Joe that the trip will be at that lodge the seniors from last year went to! Apparently, it was such a cool place, they decided to reserve it again!"<p>

"Wow! Joe is so cool!"

"I don't know how that made Jonas cool," Nick interrupted the girl's swooning as he paused from taking a swig of his drink.

Demi eyed him with impatient green eyes.

"You wouldn't, Nick. Joe called that place and arranged everything with them. He had to win them over, you know! We weren't the only school interested in that place!"

"How admirable," he said dryly, already growing annoyed. He knew for a fact that it wasn't only Joe's work. He had heard Zac on the phone in the council room after school hours debating over and over with the owners of the lodge. He had seen Rebecca petition the idea to the teachers. He saw the other members organize enough activities to accumulate enough funds for the oncoming trip. He didn't bother to mention these to the girls though, nor remind them of what they should have already known. They always only listened with half an ear anyways.

As the trio walked out of the school yard and into the streets, they noticed a dark car waiting at the curb.

"Oh, wow. Nice car."

The three teens stood to the side as the door opened and a beautiful dark-haired woman in an exquisite suit stepped out of the car. The sun shimmered over her oval pale skin as it highlighted some of the strands in her hair, making it shine a dark blue.

The face was familiar to Nick. He waited a moment more wondering if he would remember.

She was quietly standing and looked onto the opened gates of the school. A soft wind blew, but the slightly chilly breeze didn't seem to trouble her.

"Ah!" Demi gasped quietly. Nick and Miley both turned to her expectantly.

"I remember her..."

"Joe," the woman's voice interrupted. The trio turned to see Joe walking past the gates. He approached the woman, but at such a distance that it seemed they were strangers.

"Mother," was the only thing he said. He walked past her and stepped inside the vehicle. A moment longer, she joined him inside. The car drove away with Nick looking on. Demi and Miley engaged themselves in a conversation, the encounter already forgotten.

* * *

><p>Nick unlocked his apartment door and pushed himself inside. The resounding echo of the door closing filled the silent apartment. He could hear his quiet shuffling easily as he removed his shoes and coat.<p>

"I'm home..." he announced.

Only silence met his announcement, just as it was only silence that met his arrival. He imagined the soft voice that could welcome him home. He wished for the gruff echo of a laugh at his silly antics.

He thought back to Joe's cold treatment of his mother and cursed the pale boy yet again. _One could not imagine the pain of loss until one lost another_, he thought_. I would never take such things for granted_.

He didn't know everything about the boy, he thought, but he knew one thing.

_All I've ever wanted_, he thought, _is what he's always had_.

Nick thought of Joe's mother.

_What he still has_, he amended, gripping the chain around his neck.

Nick threw himself onto his soft couch and stared up the ceiling.

"No," he said to the silent room. "I don't think I like Joe Jonas very much."

* * *

><p>End of Interlude<p>

With Love, Carlie :D


	8. Intertwined Knots

Chapter 8 – Intertwined Knots

* * *

><p>"Argh! Thank goodness!" Demi sighed loudly as she fell back on the couch, papers crunching under her weight.<p>

"If I have to go through this textbook one more time..." she began to threaten, but was interrupted when Joe came into the room.

From his seat on the floor, legs tucked underneath the low table, Nick watched Joe enter the upstairs living room baring snacks and drinks. The pale boy's expression was cold and distant. It would melt away soon, Nick knew. It only happened whenever he had to go downstairs for something. Joe's parents were entertaining below, and he would be sidetracked by a guest and questioned about a variety of things every time he ventured down there. He was usually accosted at the bottom of the stairs. The noise was low enough that both Demi and Nick had heard the polite but dry responses the other boy had given every time. It was insensitive, Nick thought, for a stranger to ask such personal questions.

There were things one didn't want to talk about, and it was even worse when it was brought to the surface by an unthinking question. People asked questions, Nick thought, and sometimes they knew no boundaries. They were forced to linger over subjects they did not want to visit to appease an inquiry meant only to fill in the gap in conversation. People could not stand silence for long. They would strive to fill it. Unknowingly, they helped to resurface unwanted issues. When they walked away from the conversation, he continued to deliberate, they probably easily forgot what they had discussed. They would pat their own backs at successfully filling in the silence, while the questioned one would be left with the ache that came with remembering.

A glass of something blue was placed in front of Nick's textbook, effectively interrupting his wandering thoughts.

"Here, loser... Ms. Lovato," Joe said, handing the pair a glass of juice each.

"Hmmm?" Demi looked up from her sprawled position, letting her elbows support her upper body. "Call me Demi, Joe," she admonished chidingly. "Ms. Lovato sounds so..." she made a sour face.

"Demi, then," he said in his most charming voice. Her heart skipped a beat and, predictably, she beamed.

Nick accepted the drink without comment and just rolled his eyes. Taking a sip of the suspicious blue liquid, he watched Joe take his seat on the other corner of the square table. He felt a pair of legs drape over his own underneath the table as Joe began to gather the scattered notes.

Shrugging inwardly at the contact, Nick looked over his own work once more. Demi soon sat up and gathered her notes as well.

A couple more minutes of silence followed, occasionally broken by the crisp sound of paper and a comment or two between the trio.

"Is that all?" Nick finally asked after reading through the last page of his research and deeming it acceptable.

"Yes it is. I think we would have had more if you hadn't fallen asleep, though!" Demi answered, pointing an accusing finger at the brunette.

"I did my part! So I think I'm warranted a nap. Besides, if I fell asleep, why didn't you wake me, then?"

"I tried! You almost kicked me!" she retorted.

"Pfft..." he scratched his head and took another sip from his glass. "Not my fault... I didn't get enough sleep," he mumbled into the glass.

"What? How? You live alone, Nick! You can sleep anytime you want! It should be quiet enough. There is no one to bother you! You—!" She faltered in her tirade when she saw Nick's somber eyes. She caught herself, but it proved to be too late when she saw his white-knuckled fists. He allowed his hold on the glass to lessen, and then released it entirely. From the corner of her eyes, she saw Joe watching them curiously.

"Nick, I'm sor—"

"That's fine, Demi," he sighed into the glass and felt Joe's legs shift on top of his.

It was a touch meant to comfort, Nick thought, and maybe a touch tinged with curiosity as well. He decided not to elaborate further on Demi's almost revelation. It was certainly neither the time nor the place for such a discussion. He was sure Joe would learn about his circumstances eventually. Whether he wanted it or not, Joe was rapidly becoming part of his life. He gave a small nudge back, now acknowledging the gesture, but remaining silent.

Demi looked as if she might try to apologize again, but with a quick shake of Nick's head, he forgave her and silenced her as well.

"Joe," the unexpected voice made the trio jump in surprise. Nick felt Joe's legs retreat as they looked toward the entryway. Joe's mother stood at the threshold. She stood so silently and still that it made Nick wonder how long she'd been there. She wore a dark evening dress that shimmered in subtle ways when she moved, and her hair was pulled back in a tight bun, causing her face to look severe.

"Ms. Lovato's parents are here to pick her up." Nick shivered as her eyes passed over them, noting that her jaw had tightened at the mere sight of Joe. The other boy looked back unflinchingly.

"Oh!" Demi stood, glad to be able to break the tense atmosphere. She turned, and with all the sun she could squeeze into a smile, she faced the woman. "Thank you Mrs. Jonas," she beamed, but the woman had already left. They heard her retreating heels click slightly against the wooden steps as she took them one at a time.

Demi frowned at the retreating figure, then smiled as she turned to the boys.

"Okay guys... uh... I'll take my copy and I guess I'll see you tomorrow!"

"We're done here... I should go too." Nick also got up.

"Oh! Then let me ask my parents if we could give you a ride!" Demi offered.

"No..." Nick refused, a little wary. "It's alright, Demi... I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? I know they wouldn't mind..." she trailed off when Nick shook his head and dismissed the offer.

Nick smiled tightly. "It's fine, Demi."

"...Okay, then... If you're sure. It's freezing outside, you know?"

When Nick said nothing else, she accepted his decision reluctantly.

"I'll walk you to the door," Joe said. He got up and they walked downstairs. Nick followed the pair at a distance while Demi enthusiastically discussed mundane things with Joe. She was filling in the silence, Nick thought.

At the bottom of the stairs, a few guests that were hanging back from the gathering greeted them. The dark-haired girl easily deflected their polite questions and excused them from the curious group.

A wave of chilly winter air assaulted them when they stepped outside. Hurriedly throwing on her coat and wrapping her scarf around her tiny neck, she waved goodbye and ran to her parents' waiting car. The car's low beam lights blinded the boys momentarily as it drove past. Demi waved from the confines of the dark vehicle and the pair watched until it disappeared from their sight.

"It's freezing. You should have gotten a ride," Joe said, turning to the brunette.

Nick shrugged. "They don't like me."

"Ah," Joe replied, understanding.

"I should get going," Nick murmured as he turned to go back indoors to retrieve his belongings.

"I'll walk you."

Nick paused in his steps and looked back to the other boy. "What? No, it's alright." Joe ignored his protest and went to the living room to tell his parents.

Inside, Nick drew away from the crowd and waited for the other boy's return.

"Come on, let's get your stuff."

They climbed back upstairs to retrieve his things, and were soon outside in the cold once more, walking away from the deceptively cheerful mansion.

* * *

><p>They walked quietly, side by side. The wet snow clung to the soles and the sides of their shoes. Their breath misted in the air and occasionally, one of them would cough when the chilly breeze burned down his lungs. Yellow light bathed them when hurrying cars whispered by, and they would step farther away from the streets to avoid getting splashed by muddy slush. People braving the cold fled from one warm place to the other. A couple of girls bumped against Nick as they hurried to catch a taxi cab, and Joe held out an arm to keep him from falling on the wet ground. In an easy silence, they walked, hunched against the merciless wind, their hands tucked in their pockets, seeking warmth, and their thoughts kept to themselves.<p>

The scenery gradually changed from manicured lawns and gated houses to tiny convenience stores and apartment buildings. Once they had reached a well-lit seven story building, the pair stopped walking.

"You didn't have to walk me," Nick broke the silence. "You had guests."

Joe shrugged. "They don't care," he laughed bitterly. "They won't notice."

Nick adjusted his bag while he observed the other boy. Joe stared off into the distance; his seemingly callous face was an unreadable mask. _No, not unreadable_, Nick thought. Sad… It was sad.

The discomfort of not knowing what to say made the silence awkward. Any other sound from their surroundings was a welcome relief.

Finally, Nick looked up at the dark winter sky and watched his breath mist in the air. "Wanna come up?" he invited.

Joe looked a little startled at the hesitant invitation, but quickly recovered and accepted. "It's a little late. I hope your parents wouldn't mind."

The brunette boy didn't falter in his steps. He merely shrugged and fished for his keys. "I'm sure they won't mind," he said.

* * *

><p>Unlocking the door, Nick gave it a forceful shove. He took note of the loud squeak of iron and reminded himself to oil the hinges the next opportunity he got. They stepped into the dark apartment, with only the light coming in streams from the open windows guiding them to the living room. He made another note to change the burnt out light bulb in the entry way. The silence of the apartment was palpable.<p>

Nick shivered. "Shit! I forgot to leave the heat on... Wait a sec, okay?"

He turned on the lights to the living room and found that that light bulb, too, was burnt out. Cursing under his breath, he tried the lamp beside the couch and grinned in relief when it gave off a dim soft glow.

"Erm... Make yourself at home... I'll turn the heater on."

He hopped from one foot to the other as the chill of the wooden floors penetrated his socks. Dashing to the hallway, he turned up the heat to a comfortable temperature and then rejoined his guest in the living room.

He found Joe standing in front of a wall decorated with picture frames, eyes moving from one photograph to the next. Nick noticed that Joe's eyes seemed to remain longer on the family pictures.

"You want a drink or something?" he asked from where he stood under the threshold.

"Or something," Joe replied, looking toward Nick from across the room.

"Something warm?" the brunette inquired.

"Hot chocolate," Joe grinned.

"Ah. Right. I might have that." Flushing, Nick entered the kitchen and walked towards the fridge, taking out the milk to heat. Joe followed behind.

"Do you need help?"

After retrieving a small pot from the bottom cupboards, Nick poured milk he estimated was enough for two people into the slowly heating pot. As the stove grew warmer, he drew his body closer to cherish the radiating heat. He turned, and for a moment was surprised to see Joe in his kitchen. He shook his head to brush away the mild surprise.

"Umm... No, it's alright."

Joe casually leaned against the wall, hands warm in his pockets as he watched the other boy prepare their drinks.

"How do you do it?" he quietly inquired.

"Do what?" Nick asked as he opened a cupboard and reached for the chocolate powder. He swore silently when the shelf proved to be too high for his medium height. A warm body pressed behind him suddenly as a hand reached up to retrieve the bag of cocoa his long fingers could barely touch.

"Here," he heard Joe whisper. A puff of warm breath tickled his ear.

Nick took the bag cautiously, uncertain of how to react. When warm arms surrounded his chilled body, he wanted nothing but to sink further into them. He cursed the faulty apartment heater for its sluggishness.

"Thanks... Ummm—"

"—you looked so tempting while you slept. I wanted to blow you. In front of Demi," Joe whispered as he pressed his face into Nick's hair.

Nick coughed, a little embarrassed as his mind generously provided him with a very attractive mental image.

"Umm, good thing you didn't." He pushed Joe aside to lean against the counter while he emptied a packet of hot chocolate into the pot. "So, you were saying?" Nick asked, gesturing for the other boy to continue with his other question.

From the corner of his eyes, he saw Joe take a deep breath before he spoke.

"How do you live alone?"

Nick paused in his stirring, mesmerized by the spiraling chocolate liquid swirling around the unmoving wooden spoon. He had figured that Joe would notice the discarded clothes on the floor, the barely surviving house plants, the empty cups of ramen littering the surface of the center table, and the single plate on the rack. All of these were things that indicated there was no maternal presence to clean up after her messy boy and no paternal presence to tell his son to clean up after himself. Nick was sure Joe had noticed the dry funeral wreath on the mantle and the miscellaneous things that did not belong to a 17 year old, collecting dust.

Countless ways to avoid answering the question surfaced in his mind, and he chose one as he began to stir the pot once more.

"I just manage. Not much choice." He tried to shrug his uneasy feeling off.

"You said your parents wouldn't mind someone over."

"No, they wouldn't."

"The adults at one of the parent and interview night—"

"—Ah. My aunt and uncle."

"Why aren't you with them?"

Nick stopped stirring and stared at the boiling hot chocolate. He felt the rising steam touch his face; cloud his sight. "It's complicated."

The silence that followed rung too loudly in his ears, and he slapped the wooden spoon against the metal walls of the pot to break it.

"Like how you and I are complicated?" Joe finally asked.

Snapping his neck to the side, he stared at Joe with wide eyes, confusion tripping up his train of thought.

"It's not that I'm not grateful for the change of topic, but what are you getting at?"

Joe sighed out loud and ran his fingers through his hair, an action born of frustration. "Don't you ever think about it?"

"Thinking is a dangerous habit," Nick replied too quickly.

"You live alone, you have some guy harassing you on almost a daily basis, your relatives aren't living with you, you're—"

"Jonas! What are you getting at!" His temper was rising and the pleasant warmth he felt suddenly became too suffocating. No one cared, no one ever asked, and it should stay that way, his mind screamed. When they asked, it got—

Joe slammed his fist on the counter and the strength of the blow caused a few jars to shake.

"Aren't you bothered by these things?"

Nick hissed. "I noticed that it wasn't exactly heaven at your place, either. You rank highest in our grade and get swamped by admirers daily, but you don't have any friends," he snorted. "I think you should be more concerned about your problems and stay outta mine!"

Joe looked a little stricken by Nick's sudden outburst, and the brunette felt a little satisfaction to see some shock replace the usual cocky smirk.

"Don't change the subject."

"Stop telling me what to do, Jonas." Nick gripped the stirring spoon as he waited for Joe to speak.

"Nothing seems to faze you. I didn't know... I didn't know about your situation—"

"—would that have changed anything?" Nick asked.

"...I'm not sure... I don't even know how it began... One day, I just wanted you... You had everything I didn't have..." Joe confessed, gazing into the other boy's hazel eyes.

"At first, I had wanted to become you, and I thought that maybe if I touched you, I would somehow possess what I desired... But then I came to want you entirely... No longer wanting to be you... But wanting you instead." Joe shook his head distractedly, reflecting the turmoil in his mind.

Nick released the spoon to allow his hands to dangle by his side, not knowing how to react.

"Sometimes," Joe whispered almost too low to hear. He reached forward to graze his knuckles lightly across Nick's cheek, and then cupped it in his palm. "Sometimes I wanted you so much, the only thing I felt that could ever satisfy me was to kiss you..." he said softly as Nick's eyes widened a fraction.

"But I didn't know if you'd kiss back. If you allowed me the pleasure, I didn't know if it was because you were being forced to... Because of the pendant." With his other hand he clutched the circular item through his shirt. "I think I would have preferred you hitting me instead of kissing back because you felt you were forced to," he finished.

The pair fell into a preoccupied silence, lost in their own thoughts.

Nick reached up to cover the hand on his cheek, intertwining their fingers. He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath. Seizing every word and every feeling from Jonas and then grasping his own as well, he held them against each other. He cleared away the confusion and some of the hurt, pushing them aside for a little while. He now understood Jonas a little more, and it was enough to allow him to breathe a little easier. Resenting and holding a grudge would not help anything, he thought. He was not so vindictive. It would only hurt them both and he had enough pain in his life as it was. Would it hurt a little more, he wondered, to allow himself to breathe?

When he opened his eyes, resolve shone in their depths.

"I won't kiss you because I'm forced to," he breathed.

Joe's body visibly relaxed at Nick's reply. The brunette stood still as the other boy drew near. A hand lightly touched his hip, drawing him closer. Nick's free hand clutched the hem of Joe's shirt with surprisingly nervous fingers. Their foreheads touched, eyes meeting as their breaths mingled.

Nick felt Joe's breath caress his face as they came closer. He shut his eyes and felt warm lips press against his. In that brief instant, his breath caught, then became swift and shallow. His heart seemed to beat faster and he had a strange sensation of his toes curling. He easily felt the intimacy Joe's closeness brought. It was different from before. Suddenly, he felt warmth piercing into his being from everywhere they touched. It was an overwhelming feeling that caused him to feel a little light headed.

Joe drew away but Nick held him still before he could pull out of reach. Running his tongue across his bottom lip, Nick thought it tasted like sweet air. The second time Joe kissed him, Nick kissed back with equal vigor. Joe's hand slid away from his cheek, only to bury excited fingers into soft brown ringlets.

Encircling Joe's neck with his arm, Nick immersed himself into these unfamiliar feelings. The other boy's touch left him breathless and greedily wanting more. A tongue darted out to lap at his bottom lip. He parted his lips obligingly as his knees buckled beneath him unexpectedly. He felt Joe's quickly inhaled breath as he pressed their lips together more firmly. Joe's tongue thrust into his warm mouth, seeking its partner.

Someone moaned into the kiss. Nick thought it might have been him, or Joe, or perhaps it was both of them. Their tongues caressed against one another languidly. There was no battle of domination, just a surprisingly careful passion. Warm tongues slid into a sensual dance as bodies became flush against one another. Their kiss tasted like chocolate. The smell of chocolate flowed thickly in the air.

"Mmmm—wait!" Nick breathed the air in deeply and looked around at their surroundings, momentarily forgetting where they were. Joe kissed down his neck as Nick remembered the boiling pot of hot chocolate. He reached for the knob on the stove, turning it off.

"Hot chocolate's ready," he announced breathlessly. Joe climbed back up to capture his lips once more, deepening the kiss, wanting. Nick kissed back just as intensely.

A few minutes passed as they got lost in their kisses, forgetting the world and becoming two beings of just sensations.

Nick's arms wrapped around Joe's neck as the boy encircled the brunette's slender waist. Their heated bodies pressed tightly against each other. When they parted, breathing heavily, Nick found himself on the kitchen counter, legs wrapped around the dark-haired boy's hips.

"You should call your parents..." he murmured, voice husky and eyes glazed.

He tilted his head to allow Joe's butterfly kisses to flutter about his neck.

"They won't care," Joe breathed into his flushed skin.

Embracing Joe's neck and burying his face into soft, fragrant raven-black hair, Nick allowed himself to settle into a realm of contentment. He wondered at the difference it made when both parties were willing to participate in an act, when there was no struggle to get away.

"...But still... They might..." he pursued, closing his eyes when Joe embraced him closer.

A tightening began in his throat and he wondered at the new sort of ache. It wasn't so unpleasant, but it wasn't sincere either. Was he worried for Joe? How strange feelings were, once you set them loose. They started to change you immediately.

"Alright," Joe agreed. He lifted his arms away and Nick felt as if the strings that tied them together were beginning to untangle. He still felt Joe's presence, but it seemed to grow weaker as Joe moved away, until it was just a dull thrum upon his senses, like a fleeting memory. _How strange_, he thought.

"Where's the phone?"

"It's in the living room."

"Okay."

Nick watched Joe leave the kitchen, a moment later he heard the phone being lifted from its cradle. He slid off the counter and checked the hot chocolate, and almost laughed when he realized that almost half of it had evaporated. He stirred slowly, watching the brown liquid, as his body calmed and his thoughts lined themselves up once more.

Alone in the kitchen, Nick slumped, arms braced on the oven handle. He made a decision and decided to stick with it, even if there were voices in his head that protested loudly. He calmed those thoughts and asked for patience. He would sort things out into some semblance of order.

"No answer. They can sleep peacefully even if I'm out", the voice came from the doorway. "You okay?"

Nick turned and grinned. "Yeah, I'm fine. You?"

Joe crossed his arms and leaned sideways on the doorframe.

"Yeah," he said, smiling a little.

From this distance, Nick felt a throbbing of sorts, a pulling. Had it always been there, he wondered, or was this something new? Did Joe feel it as well, or was it just him?

"How long can you stay? I sorta wanted to talk about a few things."

"Really? I thought you wanted to make out some more," Joe quipped.

A laugh was ripped from Nick's throat. He laughed heartily then grinned at an equally grinning Joe.

"That too." He winked, allowing a sudden desire of boldness.

Joe looked at the clock. It was nine thirty.

"I could stay for a while, but we have the presentation tomorrow."

Nick poured himself and Joe a cup of hot chocolate each. He walked over to the other boy, handing him his cup, then lead them both to the living room.

* * *

><p>They sat in silence, empty cups in their hands. Their thighs and shoulders touched as they sat side by side. Nick took Joe's cup and placed it on the table, along with his.<p>

"You and I..." he began.

He looked sideways as Joe shifted to face him. He turned to face the other boy as well. Joe brought Nick's forehead to rest against his and they looked down and gave soft smiles at their clasped fingers, fitting perfectly.

"I think," Joe began softly. "I think the rest we can sort out later. It's a lot of things. For now, the most important thing is for you to know that I want you, only you. And, I'd like to ask if you felt the same."

Pushing aside most things that needed to be approached, knowing that in time they would be resolved, Nick looked inside himself for the answer to Joe's question. Shoving away all things unnecessary for the moment, he searched. After a while, he nodded, moving their foreheads.

"Yeah, I feel the same."

He moved away to meet Joe's eyes and allowed a small hesitant smile. It was strange, he thought, that all he had done before was sneer at the other boy.

"Okay." Joe smiled back and then sought Nick's lips once again.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	9. The Fear of Expectations and

Chapter 9 — The Fear of Expectations and Resigned Loneliness

* * *

><p>The double doors with their deep engravings swung open easily to allow Joe into the dark den. Feeling their way around, his questing fingers searched for the light switch protruding from the wall. Finding the switch, he flipped it upwards to turn on the lights. Instead of flooding the room with light, the bulb gave a weak glow, before a sudden spark rendered it useless.<p>

Cursing his misfortune, Joe walked into the darkness and almost stumbled on the lampshade he was searching for. Feeling for the switch, he twisted it counter clockwise and groaned in frustration when it, too gave a stuttered spark and died. Giving up on electric lights entirely, he pushed aside the heavy curtains and allowed winter's moonlight to filter into the small room.

Beyond the glass doors was the backyard. Its structured flower beds were blanketed by the winter snow. Eerily glowing globes of light perched on intricately melded lamp posts. Their light stretched the shadows of the bare limbs of tress, making them seem like greedy grasping fingers beckoning him into the shadow of the night. It no longer frightened him as much as it had when he was little. He had conquered that fear a long time ago.

Stepping away from the dreary scenery, he collapsed onto the couch facing the glass doors. Lying down with his head pillowed on the soft arm of the sofa, he turned so he could observe the play of the moonlight on the marble floors.

The silence of the mansion had overwhelmed him, prompting him to leave the safety of his room and visit the den. Swiveling his eyes to the half-lit picture frames with their ghostly smiles, he revisited old memories. The memories were the same, remaining as they were, since his last visit. The ache and anger the memories invoked were the same as well, if not stronger.

Pushing aside his bitter contemplations, he thought of the recent past instead. He remembered the feel of lips upon his own and wandering fingers traveling over his body, awakening his desire. The press of a warm chest and grinding hips made him ache.

_I shouldn't have left_, he thought.

He cursed mentally when he felt himself hardening at just the thought of the brunette boy. Ghosting his hand down his stomach to his groin, he lightly ran his finger over the growing bulge in his pants. He bit the inside of his cheek as he fisted his clothed cock and began to pump in slow, leisurely strokes. Keeping in mind the den's tendency to resonate sounds throughout the main floor, he stifled his groans as he caressed his growing erection. The roughness of the cloth was enjoyable as it added delicious friction and teased the sensitive flesh.

He felt unhurried, immersing himself in the slow tingling that began to spread throughout his body. He noted the warmth behind his neck and the tightening of his throat, as well as the dryness in his mouth. His stomach felt tight and his breath hitched shallow and quick. He felt as if his chest wanted to implode into itself as the sensation of electricity running in his veins curled his toes.

"Jones..." he whispered into the dark. The vision of the boy stroking him, sucking him off, kissing him, and touching him flooded his mind.

He reached inside his pants to pull out his weeping cock. The dry hand surrounding his sensitized flesh caused him to wince, but he kept stroking, unmindful of the tiny discomfort. He ran his thumb over the small slit of his cock, smearing the head with pre-cum.

"Fuck, I want to see him," he groaned as his strokes became faster. He closed his eyes and felt all the previous sensations heightened when he thought of the boy. Pumping faster and squeezing his cock roughly, he arched his pelvis off the couch as he grunted his release. His mouth opened in a silent scream as his eyelids shut tightly. Taking the wet seed into his fist, he continued to stroke, riding out his orgasm. Sharp stinging sensations woke his every nerve as a warm flush covered his body.

He sucked in air greedily as spots slowly stopped dancing in his vision. Crumbling into the soft cushions of the couch, he tiredly watched the play of moonlight on the tiled floors. After a moment of rest, he reached for the box of tissue on the side table and cleaned himself off. He flushed at the thought of masturbating just by thinking of the curly-haired boy, and then wondered if Jones had done the same.

He stared at the shadow of the phone longingly until his heavy eyelids drew shut. His last coherent thought before sleep took him was the memory of warm arms surrounding him and a pair of eyes of the deepest hazel he had only seen in dreams.

* * *

><p>Joe woke up to a cynical morning. Dark clouds hovered over the horizon, threatening to consume what little sunlight speckled the gray skies. Birds chirped in morose tones as if chirping was an unwanted chore.<p>

Moving from his curled position on the couch, Joe groaned as his body complained in the form of aches, punishing him for falling asleep on the couch rather than the soft comfort of his bed.

He sat up shakily, rubbing at tired eyes. In the distance, he heard the squeal of tires on slippery pavement. A moment later he heard the rattle of the mechanical gates opening and then closing. His parents had left for work.

Pushing up his sleeves to check his watch, he was startled to realize he was going to be late for class. Grumbling, he trudged to his room to take a quick shower.

* * *

><p>"No, this can't be happening..." Joe gaped, disbelieving and waving away thick clouds of smoke as they engulfed him. He coughed, watching dejectedly through watery eyes as the bus turned a corner and then disappeared completely in the distance.<p>

"If only I hadn't..." Joe looked down at his shoelaces and cursed the faulty strings. They had become unraveled during his sprint for the bus. Running on the snow covered frozen ground was already too perilous; running with unraveling laces was just begging an accident to happen. So, he had paused to secure the binds, but in doing so, had missed the bus.

He checked the bus schedule and found that if he waited for the next one, he would be ten minutes late for class. Having already missed the student council meeting, he refused to be late for his group presentation.

The thought of his group brought Jones to the forefront of his awareness. The prospect of seeing the brunette again after the other night made the morning's misfortune seem almost tolerable. He quickened his already rushed pace and ran until he sprinted past the school's closing gate.

Outside of his classroom, he straightened his jacket and finger-combed his mussed hair. Deeming himself presentable, he entered just as the warning bell rang.

"Good morning, Joe!" most of the girls in the class bellowed. The boys greeted in the form of grunts upon his entrance. A few raised their chin in a silent greeting, but only one gave him a secretive smirk.

Joe nodded distractedly to those who called for his attention. His entire awareness was pulled to one individual. He approached the desk with determined steps, stopping in front of the brunette boy. Before he could utter a word of greeting, Demi approached the pair and gave a greeting of her own. With hurried words, she discussed with them how they should proceed with the presentation. Nodding to some of her suggestions, Joe leaned against Nick's desk, reclining his arms behind to support him and at the same moment brushing his fingers with Nick's own on the desk's surface. The simple touch had unexpectedly driven the entire negative mood from his being and calmed him.

He left his hand beside Nick's and felt a thrill of surprised excitement run down his spine when the boy didn't move away.

They were in a relationship, he thought, awed. He still could not comprehend their new circumstances without pausing to gape or feel the need to blush. He scoffed at his ridiculous thoughts as he divided his attention between Demi and the warm presence behind him.

A couple of minutes later, the teacher came in to announce the beginning of class. He sat with his group until they were called to present. Joe was thankful it went smoothly. With the luck he woke up with, he wouldn't have been surprised if a bird smacked into the window and interrupted the flow of their presentation.

* * *

><p>Lunch found Joe in the school council room, buried in permission forms while attempting to tally the list of students permitted to participate in the year's retreat trip. In between crossing off names in the list and looking over the forms, he nibbled on his lunch. However, the workload that followed his task left his lunch nearly untouched.<p>

He kept his eyes on the door, realizing that he was expecting Nick's presence at any given time. A few members came and went, but the brunette boy never made an appearance. On the way to his third period class, he realized that Nick had never sought him out before. It was always he who did the seeking.

The rest of the day allowed no time to meet with the brunette boy. A sequence of uninterrupted meetings with students and teachers finally came to a stop two hours after school had ended, and by then, he was sure that Nick was no longer in the school.

On his way home, he wondered about his past actions toward the boy. He was intrigued as to how his motivation to embarrass the boy originated from the overwhelming need to extinguish the light that drew others to him. He frowned at his pettiness and wished he had known better.

His commute home was quiet and lonely like it always was. He didn't want to think that the absence of the brunette was the cause, but he was reminded of days when he had not seen Nick. Those days, he thought, were lonelier. Feelings were amazing, he thought. Once you allowed them recognition, they changed you immediately.

Eventually, he reached the gates that encased his home, or rather his house, because "home" implied there was warmth and love present in the structure. He looked at the mansion and thought that it was nothing but a waste of unnecessary space, housing three strangers.

During dinner, as cutlery slid against smooth porcelain and a couple of murmured conversations between his parents and his silence, he thought his loneliness had never felt as great as it did then. The feelings he kept within seemed to amplify as he climbed the stairs to his bedroom and heard the doors shut in his parent's bedroom. Two separate bedrooms. Two doors.

Lying on the cool sheet of his bed while tracing the shadows playing on the high plaster ceilings with his eyes, he hoped for a better day to follow such an empty one. Beyond his shut windows, he saw the snow finally fall and hoped Nick was some place warm.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Nick! Are you sure you don't want a ride? It's blowing out there!"<p>

Nick heard the keeper of the arcade yell to him over the howling winds. He waved off the offer, bowing to show he appreciated the gesture, and then waved goodbye as he braved the cold. He pulled his hood over his quickly numbing scalp and hunched as he hurried his stride with careful steps.

Coughing violently as the icy wind burned his windpipe, he pulled his scarf over his chapping lips. He realized too late that it was a mistake to have stayed an hour longer. There had been warnings of heavy snowfall throughout the day, but he had ignored them in favor of fun. As an afterthought, he acknowledged that he also liked crowded places; it was easy to get distracted. There was no time to think of his empty apartment when he was too busy enjoying himself.

He cursed fluently when he managed to side-step a wave of muddy slush as an uncaring driver hurried past, but he ended up stepping into a pothole filled ankle deep with the icy slush anyways. Shaking his drenched leg, he walked home with a temper that he thought might have melted his path.

* * *

><p>Swinging his apartment door open, he stepped inside and upon shutting the door, he wasted no time in ridding himself of his soaked clothing. A trail of garments followed him to the bathroom. He turned the knob for the hot water in his tub while he stood in his boxers, shaking as the coldness of his apartment embraced his already numb body. He hopped around a bit and rubbed his raised skin, trying to generate some warmth. After waiting for his body to thaw a little, he lowered himself into the filled tub, and only then did he allow himself a sigh of contentment.<p>

Watching the steam rise to the ceiling, he let his seemingly frozen brain do a bit of thawing itself. He allowed it to wander and to contemplate. He was amused to find that he had been doing a lot of that lately.

His voice echoed in the small room as he rested the back of his head against the rim of the tub while his body lay unmoving, swallowed by the warm water.

"I didn't see him today."

"Well, except for the first period."

"Even that was brief. We had that presentation..."

Nick grew silent and then laughed softly at how outrageous it felt to think of someone in such context. It was frightening to think that he'd just found out how Demi and the other girls felt all the time. He laughed out loud then; it was far too amusing. Shaking his head, he grew quiet once more, but allowed his thoughts to run rampant in his mind, and guiltily continued his amusing thoughts.

* * *

><p>Nick hopped out of the bathroom as quickly as he could and poured himself into some warm clothes.<p>

"I always forget to set the damn heater..." he mumbled as he walked on cold wooden floors. Before he had an opportunity to turn on the heater, the phone's ring interrupted him. Flicking the switch quickly, he walked back to the living room to answer the ringing telephone. He glanced at the clock quickly and then frowned at the late hour.

"Who would call so late? People are sleeping, you know." He ignored the fact that he wasn't sleeping; that he was wide awake. He just felt the necessity of a complaint.

He flopped noisily on the couch and reached for the phone, contemplating putting on a sleepy voice just to make the caller feel guilty. He grinned deviously, but his grin soon fell away when he heard the voice on the other line.

"Nick?"

"Auntie."

"We decided to stay two more months. How are your funds?"

"They're fine, Auntie."

"Good," she said in her typical glacial tone, and then Nick heard the careless slam of the phone followed by a continuous beeping to indicate the other caller had hung up.

"As short as possible, huh?" he asked into the beeping line before hanging up as well.

He was surprised that she even cared to ask at all, but he would not deceive himself into believing it was any concern for him that drove her to call. It was simple obligation and nothing more. He felt the slow stinging at the base of his throat, but cleared it harshly. He engulfed a lung full of air and released it slowly, smiling in the end.

"It's all right, you don't need them. You're fine, everything is fine."

He got up and stared at the phone blankly. "Was I stupid to think it was Jonas?"

He scoffed after a moment of feeling ridiculous.

"Right. What was I thinking?"

He shuffled off to his bedroom and grabbed a comic book on the way, feeling he would need the distraction. He felt certain that no thought was safe to fall asleep on that night.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	10. When the Fox Grins

Chapter 10 – When the Fox Grins

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

"Hey yourself."

"You're grinning."

"Am I?" Nick covered his mouth with both hands and forced his eyebrows to appear angry. "How's that?" he mumbled past his closed fingers.

Joe gave a short laugh. "You look ridiculously happy to see me." He grinned back.

Nick snorted in amusement and then rolled his eyes. "Don't be cocky."

"I'm not," Joe whispered and finally closed the distance between them. He had been on an errand to the office when he bumped into the brunette in the staircase. He placed the folder on a window's ledge and reached for Nick's wrists, prying his hands away from his mouth gently.

"I think you're ridiculously happy to see me too," Nick teased.

"Yeah? How can you tell?" he asked, but allowed the brunette no opportunity to answer as he claimed Nick's lips softly. He felt a brief ripple of shock from the brunette, but it soon melted away just as his own body melted against the other boy's.

He gripped the thin wrists gently as he closed his eyes and enjoyed the feel of the other's lips moving against his own. He opened his mouth when he felt an insistent tongue lap softly against his bottom lip. Nick's tongue entered his mouth and he remembered the addictive, sweet taste immediately. He sucked eagerly on the wet tongue as it played with his own.

Warm sunlight that filtered past the glass window warmed the cloth of his white uniform shirt as he pushed Nick against the shadowed wall. He held Nick's wrists against the cold surface of the wall and slid his hands upwards to allow the brunette's fingers to tangle with his own.

They drew apart slowly and caught their breaths. Joe traced the smile that spread on Nick's flushed face indulgently with his dark eyes.

_I put it there_, he thought.

He gazed at those shiny hazel eyes and allowed the excitement inside him freedom. It spread throughout him until he felt it in his fingertips. He returned the brunette's smile and moved forward once more to kiss the tip of Nick's nose lightly.

A nervous laugh escaped the brunette's softly smiling lips as the boy tried to hide a quickly spreading blush.

"This is ridiculous. I feel tickled, and that's not right," Nick said, looking down at the toes of their shoes touching.

Joe ran his hands along the brunette's arms, up the always tempting neck, and his long fingers slid against a sharp jaw, until he held Nick's head in his hands. He brought the brunette's gaze back to him as he gave a small, encouraging smile.

"I think I'm tickled pink too."

Nick pushed him back gently and laughed out loud. "Shut up, Jonas! I am not tickled pink!"

Joe gave a soft snicker and then reached for his abandoned folder. The pair stood, watching each other in the empty sunlit staircase, reassuring themselves silently that it was alright to accept such wonderful feelings.

"Where were you headed?" Nick ventured.

"The office. I'm running errands," Joe explained. "How about you?"

"Dr. Serene sent me out to cool off."

"Oh?" Joe raised his eyebrows curiously. "Why is that?"

"I was in a bad mood. Actually it's the fourth time this week that he had to send me out."

Joe tilted his head, feeling uneasy when he thought of Nick being in a bad mood. He wanted to make the other boy feel better somehow.

"Why were you in a bad mood?" he asked.

Nick began to ascend the steps as he waved a lazy goodbye at Joe. "Probably because I haven't seen you all week," he threw over his shoulder as he disappeared into the next floor.

Joe stood, stunned at the boy's words. His fingertips tingled as he gripped the folder tightly. He tried to suppress the overwhelming feeling that threatened to make him fall sideways. He leaned, collapsing against the warmed glass of the window, and brought his head down as if afraid of anyone seeing the utter joy that threatened to break free.

Hidden in the confines of the black bangs that covered his face, he gave a wide, unsuppressed smile made completely of happiness.

* * *

><p>Nick walked back to his class feeling a sort of warmth engulfing his face. For a moment, he couldn't see past the haze to locate his classroom door. He slid the door silently open and kept his head down, and heard Dr. Serene welcome him back. He thought he gave a small nod in return before he collapsed in his desk and promptly rested his head on his folded arms on the desk surface. In the darkness and safety of his arms, he gave what he thought was the silliest and goofiest grin he had ever allowed himself, save for the one he gave Joe earlier at the staircase. He gripped his elbows hard to stop from shaking with excitement.<p>

An eraser tip of a pencil pressed against the back of his head and he knew instantly that it was Matt.

"Oi, Nick, you okay?" he whispered.

He cleared his throat and looked back to his probing friend. "Yeah, why?"

"You're all red. Even your neck's red," Matt noted solemnly.

Nick laughed embarrassedly, feeling the blush run further down his already heated skin.

"Yeah, I ran a little. Cool my head off, you know?" He winked, then turned back just in time to see Dr. Serene hand out worksheets for the period. He looked at the thickness of the stapled stack of paper, but for once said nothing as he took one and passed the sheets along. He quickly got to work, although once in a while he would catch himself grinning idiotically at a passing thought. He bit his bottom lip to hold his concentration, but it was a futile effort. By the third page, he could not recall having answered the previous pages, although he apparently had. He went back through the pages once more to check if the answers were correct while he mentally batted away distracting thoughts of the gentleness of Joe's kiss as the boy drew his soul from him through his lips and returned it, changed. He actually smacked himself soundly at the ridiculous thought, gaining a few of his bewildered classmates' attention.

"It's hopeless," he whispered into the text on the crisp white sheets. Dropping his pencil on the stack of paper, he joined Matt in watching the clouds outside the window.

* * *

><p>"Hey."<p>

"Hey again." Joe looked up the staircase as the brunette leaned against a shaky rail casually.

"Were you told to cool off again?" Joe asked, recalling the other day.

"Nah... Just thought you should be here around this time," Nick confessed, grinning deviously.

"Are you stalking me, Jones?" Joe asked, ascending the stairs and leaning on the same shaky rail just a step below the other boy.

"What if I was?" Nick tipped his chin up challengingly, laughter swimming in his expressive olive eyes.

Joe chuckled as he buried his face into the other boy's white cloth-covered chest. He inhaled the baby powder-scented shirt and shivered as fingers traced patterns up and down his right arm. To feel the boy willingly touch him was so foreign, but it was quickly becoming a welcome familiarity.

"I think I like you stalking me, Jones," he whispered into the cloth, feeling his warm breath bounce back to his face. He felt the brunette shift, and gave a small start when he felt Nick kiss the top of his head.

"I never understood why the girls had such a thrill knowing where you were, but I see it now," the boy mumbled into his hair.

"Don't scare me like that." Joe smiled and he knew Nick felt it against his skin.

"You're not scared of anything, Jonas," Nick said. It sounded like more of a thought than anything else. It was so laden with certainty, Joe almost believed it himself.

"No," he murmured as he burrowed his face further into the other's warm chest, listening to the frantic heartbeat. "No, I'm not that brave. There are a few things that scare me."

Warm arms enveloped him and he reveled in the sensation completely. He strained his ears for approaching footsteps, but could not hear anything beyond the erratic beating of a heart and found it was not only Nick's, but his own as well.

This sort of intimacy, he was frightened of. He wondered if Nick felt the same. Was that why their hearts were racing so quickly? He wanted to ask. When he embraced the boy back, the shivering body gave him his answer.

_I guess you're frightened too,_ was the sentence left unsaid.

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><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	11. Solace

Eh, in case this was unclear earlier, because I never really mentioned it, Jared is Selena's cousin, and David is like, her best friend. It's not really important, but maybe it'll help some of you picture the characters better? Oh, and then also, you already know this, but I'll just say it again, Jared (her cousin) is on the student council with Joe, and David (her bestie) is friends with Nick.

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><p>Chapter 11 – Solace<p>

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><p>Rain splattered against the window screens. The droplets caught in multiple miniscule wires and distorted Nick's view of the outdoors. He slid the glass window open and flicked at water caught in the wires.<p>

He looked below to watch the large body of students trudging past the school gates. A sea of umbrellas and an army of feet walked on memorized steps. A few ran up to their friends and greetings were exchanged. He watched as others walked in solitude, seeming to either enjoy the morning shower or frown in dismay at another day in an endless line of school days. Two large school buses were parked along the sidewalk in front of the school. Nick could see his homeroom teacher speaking to both drivers as a familiar uniform-clad class president took notes slightly to the side.

Nick peered closer to get a better look at the boy's expression but the distance and the rain obscured his view. He felt a subtle shift in the air telling him that the classroom was no longer empty as someone entered, but he didn't turn to look who it was. Instead, he just continued to watch the traffic below.

"G-Good morning, N-Nick." The trembling voice was all Nick needed to guess who had entered, and he immediately turned around to greet her back.

"Good morning, Selena!" He offered a sunny smile and received a shy one in return.

Her bangs were slightly damp and the coat she removed shone from the wetness. She had changed into indoor shoes, but he noticed her knee socks were slightly damp as well. Perhaps she had forgotten her umbrella and had only had the hood of her jacket as protection from the rain.

"Kinda wet outside, huh?" He never really knew how to approach Selena. She always seemed ready to break. He had always been frightened that his loud voice would crack her somehow. However, he recognized a mask when he saw one. He had caught glimpse of the real Selena at a time or two. She seemed like someone to be admired.

"Y... Yes... I didn't know it was going to rain. It began when I was halfway to school already," she explained. Her overnight bag lay on top of her desk as she unzipped it and shuffled a few items around. Nick's bag lay by his feet, beside his desk next to the window.

"You're early today, Nick," she observed while unsuccessfully trying to flatten a damp, rolled up piece of paper. Probably the permission form, Nick surmised. He recalled her absence for the last two days and remembered David explaining she had caught a fever. He hoped she was feeling better now.

"Hmm... Ah, yeah. I didn't want to miss the bus." He grinned. "If I miss the bus, I'm stuck here for the week, probably licking envelopes in the principal's office while you guys have fun at the retreat." She giggled at the image and he thought it was worth making fun of his past punishment at the hands of the principal to see her smile that way.

"You seem different, Nick," she observed suddenly, catching him off guard as he was about to ask how she was feeling.

"Oh yeah? How is that?"

"A little less angry, I think."

He blinked at her and then blinked again. She only looked on with a soft smile on her face. "I'm glad you and Joe are getting along. Jared said Joe is calmer too."

Nick felt a faint blush creep along his cheeks that he refused to acknowledge. He had forgotten that there were other people in the world besides Joe and himself. And that thought caused the blush to strengthen. To have even thought that... was bizarre.

A bubble had caught in his throat and he cleared it. "Oh? Is that so?"

She nodded enthusiastically then paused as if listening for a coming presence much like he always did. She excused herself then, and in a rush of dark hair, pale skin, and school uniform, he was left alone in the classroom once more.

Shortly after her departure, a slightly damp Joe entered the classroom, grumbling under his breath with a few choice words about persistent girls and spring showers.

He stopped mid-rant when he realized he wasn't alone in the classroom and tilted his head in a form of greeting.

"Careful class president, if you grumble any louder, someone might hear and that will be the end of your angelic façade," Nick teased as he leaned against the window ledge.

Joe gave a slight snort and began to remove his wet school jacket. "Whoever said I was angelic should sit on the school flag pole and bounce up and down."

Nick winced at the imagery. "That would be your fan club. What's the matter? Not having a good morning?" He began to bridge the gap between himself and the other boy, but was forced to pause in mid-stride due to Joe's raised hand.

"Be careful, Jones. Any closer and you're in danger of being tackled and molested," Joe warned, smirking.

Nick raised his eyebrows and returned a smirk of his own. "You can't molest the willing."

The temperature seemed to have raised a notch or two in the classroom. Nick felt a pull coming from the other and he would be a fool not to allow himself to be reeled in.

He walked closer until only a step from either one of them would bring their chests together. Nick took the final step and pushed Joe to sit on top of his desk. He rested his hands on the desk's surface behind Joe to support his weight while the other youth leaned back and stared challengingly. A brief "good morning" was exchanged before their lips met in a fervent kiss. Joe's fingers curled around the back of Nick's neck while the other hand clutched at the front of his uniform shirt, both pulling him closer. Nick moaned into the kiss as Joe sucked his tongue into his mouth. He moved his arms to surround Joe's waist and pulled the other boy closer. The feel of the boy's body against his always left him heady, desiring more; so much so that he was left in a state of perpetual wanting. It was a curious feeling for Nick to want from another being so much.

Approaching voices broke through the haze in the brunette's mind and he tried to pull away, but Joe's arms and lips prevented him from doing so. A rising panic began to claw at his stomach, but a stronger excitement stirred in his groin as Joe continued the attack to his mouth.

"...We've talked about this before, Demi. I mean, we agreed on this! If we liked the same thing, either we both get it, or neither of us do!"

_The girls!_ Nick's mind screamed, but Joe still refused to let go, and his treacherous body wasn't doing anything to help the situation either.

"Jonas..." he breathed in warning between kisses, "Stop..." He unwound his arms from around the boy to pull at the arms holding him.

"No."

Nick's eyes widened at the boy's flat refusal. His breath caught as Joe's lips traveled to his neck and lapped at the tingling skin. Groaning in both pleasure and disappointment, he steeled himself before he pushed away from the boy forcefully.

He stumbled backwards into a desk, the metal legs scraping against the floor. He stared disbelievingly at the scowling boy and tried to calm senses heightened by the other boy's touch.

"I warned you..." _not to get close_, was left unspoken as Joe stared at him from the small distance that separated them.

"Ah! Nick! Are you fighting with Joe again?"

"Really, now! We don't have time for you to drag your broken limbs to the infirmary, Nick!"

"Pfft..." Nick walked back to his desk on shaky legs that he hoped no one noticed. He noticed that Joe remained seated on top of his desk and felt a small glimmer of victory knowing that the other boy was in the same circumstances as he was.

The entire class soon filed in, equipped with their overnight bags. A few had brought pillows while some girls had stuffed toys peeking out of their bags. He could feel the excitement in the air. They would be away from their familiar homes and parents and siblings for an entire week. Nick understood the feeling, but couldn't exactly say he could relate.

Mr. Davis soon entered the class and briefed them on proper bus decorum and the seating arrangements. There would be three busses, the first seating students with last names beginning with A-J, the next for K-R, and the final bus for those with the last names S-Z. Nick took the usual protests concerning him seated beside Jonas in stride. It was unfortunate for them, he thought, that none of the girl's surnames began with a 'J.' Even if such a girl existed in their class, Nick was pretty sure that the teacher or Joe would do something about it to keep the seats the same and to keep the other girls' eyes in their designated sockets.

When Mr. Davis decided that they were ready, the students trudged down to the waiting buses and quickly filled the seats.

"Do you want the window seat?"

Nick briefly looked away from trying to stuff his bag in the overhead compartment to consider Joe's question.

"Yeah, I guess so. If you don't mind."

Joe shook his head and helped shove Nick's bag in before inserting his bag as well.

They took their seats, and once everyone was settled, the buses began to move.

They were seated at the very back of the bus, their last names being at the end of this portion of the alphabet. The seats beside them were unoccupied, and were therefore being used for extra storage purposes. Nick thought that the situation was too perfect, and thirty minutes into the drive, he was still expecting someone to claim the seats. In actuality, it was smart planning. The teacher sat at the very front while the class president sat at the very back. Sitting right beside the class president was the most likely person to be bothersome to the peace. _No, rephrase that_, Nick thought. He could _ruin_ the peace, but he just chose not to.

Mild chatter filled the air, but as the hour passed, the excitement waned until only softly whispered conversations and light snoozing could be heard.

Joe had opened a book and seemed engrossed in it. Nick had been staring at the passing scenery for the past hour, sensitively aware of Joe's proximity and the body heat that teased at his nerves. He exhaled slowly and closed his eyes tight when some not-so unwanted images attacked his imagination. He gripped his blanket as Joe turned to another page, seemingly oblivious to his dilemma.

Lulled by the bus ride, his eyes began to droop. He rested his head against the arm he had pressed to the window pane. He felt the slight vibration as the wheels rolled against paved ground. The dim overhead lighting further allowed the sleepiness to creep in. His eyelids shut and a dream was but a breath away when he felt a stirring in the air around him. He jumped a little at the hand that began softly kneading his thigh under the blanket.

He opened his eyes slightly to see Joe's face close to his, smiling softy.

The pale boy drew closer and kissed him gently. Nick fought the urge to look around, trusting that Joe wouldn't do anything unless it was safe, despite his earlier actions in the classroom. He kept his breath steady and quiet as Joe's lips and teeth teased his bottom lip with light nips and kisses.

He reached for the hand on his thigh to interlace their fingers, kissing back just as softly with his eyes open, gazing into Joe's dark ones. Joe flicked a tongue over his bottom lip and then pried his mouth open. He opened his mouth to brush his tongue against Joe's, at the same time trying to reign in the moans that wanted to escape.

Over the loud thudding of his heart, he heard cloth whisper as sleeping bodies around him stirred. From the front of the bus, he heard a few of his peers debating and imagining how the retreat center would look. Nick felt lightheaded, as if he and Joe were in the fringes of reality and they were thinner than air, too thin to be seen.

He felt Joe's other hand sneak under his uniform shirt and press flat against his quivering stomach. A veritable nest of butterflies scattered outward from his stomach at the intimate touch, tickling his insides. Joe withdrew his tongue from Nick's mouth to lap down his neck at the pulsing vein. He quickly stifled a desperate moan, but apparently not as quickly as he would have liked, because the other boy chuckled lightly, pulling away and looking quite pleased with himself.

A series of bumps suddenly shook the bus, and it seemed like a light was switched on as most of the student body roused from their stolen sleep. They looked outside to find the bus had left the paved road and had entered a muddy trail that was engulfed in the sides by trees. A light shower still sprayed and a low mist covered the ground, giving a sense of other worldliness.

Beneath the blanket, the two boys held hands as conversations picked up and the once peaceful atmosphere was interrupted.

"How many more hours until we get there?"

"Probably another hour or so," Joe replied without looking away from the book that he had refocused on.

Nick groaned and stretched in his seat.

"God, I need to walk around. My legs are asleep!"

As if on cue, the bus slowed and parked on the side of the road. Mr. Davis stood and called for attention. Joe gave Nick's hand one more brief squeeze before he stood in the aisle, ready to assist in anything the teacher needed.

"Alright, everyone, we're going to step out to stretch and get some fresh air. Please don't wander away from the bus. You have ten minutes! Mr. Jonas, please watch out for your classmates."

"Yes, Mr. Davis."

The bus emptied in short time as the students filed out. The road was deserted save for their bus and the other two that were a little behind them. Friends separated by buses and seats clustered together to catch up on the past two hours.

Nick and Joe stood together, kicking at the mist surrounding their feet, caught in a silent murmur of conversations. Nick thought it might have been a peculiar sight for their peers to see the two of them suddenly spending so much time together, but he knew that he couldn't have cared less, and apparently Joe felt the same way. A few of the boys approached them and they shared a light conversation before it was time to get back on the bus. The rest of the bus ride was spent in raucous laughter and loud conversations, as the excitement returned. In their little niche in the back, Nick had fallen asleep warm under his blanket, his hand held by Joe, thumb caressing over skin soothingly.

In the state between dreaming and semi-awareness of the real world, Nick felt Joe's warm breath against his ear as the other boy whispered words to him. "I have a surprise for you."

Nick hummed sleepily, leaning toward the other boy's warmth and feeling a chaste kiss on his cheek before more words made their way to his wandering mind. "We're sharing rooms."

Nick's dream took on a different turn, chasing away his dream of delicious foods in favor of another sort of pleasure, involving a lot of Joe's tongue.

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><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	12. A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts

LOL. I love when you guys comment. I love when you try to predict things that are going to happen. It's cute. And it reassures me that I am indeed unpredictable. 'Cause, no offense, your predictions are offff. ;) I can't wait until you guys read, well, everything. :D

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><p>Hee. This title reminds me of the Lion King. I couldn't resist. ^_^<p>

If you don't know which scene I'm talking about, you should get more educated in your pop culture. :)

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><p>Chapter 12 - A Lovely Bunch of Coconuts<p>

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><p>Nick felt the change in speed just as Joe started shaking him awake. He rubbed at his blurry eyes while they adjusted to the light, yawning and stretching as he tried to dispel the cottony feeling in his brain.<p>

Everyone was busy exclaiming at what they could see of the retreat center while pulling their bags out of the compartments. Joe stood to grab both of their bags while yelling out instructions to be quick and reminders for the students not to forget anything. Joe tossed Nick his bag as they began to exit the bus. Nick waited for the other boy outside of the bus while Joe lingered to check if anything was left behind.

As the buses turned to leave, Joe again left his side to assist in getting the groups in order and in handing out information booklets. The teacher had already discussed the rules and regulations of the center, as well as warnings and conditions concerning behavior with them prior to the trip. The booklets provided further information that would hopefully address any other concerns.

The rain had finally stopped. Only a light mist clung to the small hairs of their skin, dampening it and their clothes. After organizing themselves, the group followed the teachers and the class presidents of both classes into the center's lobby. A few staff members welcomed them, and after another short discussion and a reminder of a group meeting in half an hour, they were sent to their rooms to put their things down and freshen up.

Nick went on ahead of Joe while the other stayed behind to speak to the teachers.

"I guess I wasn't dreaming when he said we were sharing rooms..." he muttered while he wandered down the hall comparing the door numbers to the set of keys he had been given.

"Why, that little sneak," he grinned as he finally arrived at his door. Nick found their room at the very end of the hall. The room beside it was unused and apparently under renovations.

"Hey, Nick! Where's your room, man?" David and Matt walked up to him.

He pointed at the door in front of him and snickered silently at David's next comment.

"Man, it's so secluded. If Jonas decided to kill you, we wouldn't know until the end of the week. He could say you were lazy and didn't want to come and no one would doubt his judgment."

"Ha, ha." He humored the pair and unlocked the door. The boys followed him in. He went straight to the bathroom and when he got out they were conversing loudly while sitting on one of the beds.

"Ummm, don't you guys have your own rooms or other rooms to be invading?" he asked, quickly emptying his bag and stuffing the contents into the provided dressers.

The room was a simple affair. Two beds ran along opposite walls and there was a dresser for each occupant and a sitting area to the side. A tall, medium length window offered a view of the back of the center and the bathroom was located at the entrance to the room. Picture frames and flower-filled vases were the extent of the room's decor.

David shrugged, lying back on the bed while Matt shuffled cards.

"Zac already kicked me out for messing the room up. I was barely there for two minutes!"

"...And you tripped and there was glass and wood everywhere," Matt replied, grinning.

"Shut up." He gave a half-assed kick in Matt's direction, which the other deflected easily. "Besides, Jones, you haven't been hanging around us lately."

Nick gave a mild snort as he began to unbutton his school shirt. "Right. And when had I ever hung around with the likes of you guys in the first place?"

"That's cold, man! We're buddies!"

Nick grinned and jumped back a little, startled, when he saw Joe enter the room. The other boy glared at the pair and then at Nick's half-open shirt. Instantly, he recalled the fading marks on his chest and muttered an excuse, grabbed some clothes, and changed in the washroom.

When he exited the bathroom, the pair was absent and Joe was folding his clothes and putting them away inside the dresser.

"Where'd they go?"

"Their counterparts came and dragged them off by the ear," Joe said as he stood, dusting away imaginary dirt.

"Ah... I see. Nice place you got us here. Very conveniently secluded." He smirked teasingly. He watched the other boy collapse on one of the beds and guessed that Joe had claimed it as his own. Thoughtfully, he strode forward to join him.

"It fit my plans nicely..." the dark-haired boy yawned.

"Sounds positively intriguing. You mind sharing those plans with me?" Nick asked, straddling the pale boy's hips.

"Well, first I plan on getting rid of my nuisance of a roommate and kicking his carcass under the bed. Then, I shall extend an invitation to a girl, or perhaps all the girls, and maybe a boy or two for some erotic mattress dancing." Joe waggled his eyebrows at the brunette boy above him.

"But wouldn't they complain about the rotting smell?" Nick played along.

"I'm sure being in the presence of my greatness, they would be blind to all things that are not me."

"Oh, shut the hell up!" Nick laughed out loud.

In mid-laugh, Joe pulled him down suddenly and captured his laughing lips. A laugh turned into a moan as arms drew him closer while his own arms braced his weight against the mattress. A persistent tongue invaded his mouth as fingers pushed away at the hem of his shirt, seeking warm skin. He rocked against the body under his and found an answering hardness to his own trapped one. The kiss from that morning had left him half-hard all day and being in the boy's presence did not help his situation. Hands kneaded his ass and ground their erections together. Nick looked down at Joe while they rocked against each other. Their glazed eyes and hot breath met as rising pleasure built in them both.

Nick licked the salty sweat off Joe's exposed collarbone as they ground together faster and harder. He came quickly, shutting his eyes tight and pressing his face into the other's neck to muffle his cry. Joe shuddered below him, gripping his pants and grunting in spent pleasure.

A while passed until their breathing became steady once more. Nick had long ago rolled off of the other boy, lying beside him as they both stared up at the ceiling.

Joe touched their fingertips together and braced himself on his elbows to look over at the other boy. Nick looked sideways and raised his eyebrow at the grin plastered on the other boy's handsome face. "What?"

"I think mattress dancing with you is better than my original plan."

Nick laughed. He couldn't help but agree with Joe's sudden epiphany.

They eventually got up to change clothes and met the others in the hallway to walk to the designated meeting area.

Nick realized he was hungry when they met in what appeared to be the cafeteria as delicious smells wafted in the air. His mouth watered as David and Evan joined him in ogling the food that had been prepared for them. The teachers took mercy on everyone upon looking at all the famished faces and postponed any speeches they had planned.

"Jonas. Jones. Sit with us," Zac offered.

A long table was already occupied by Evan, Matt, Zac, David, and Selena. Selena shyly got up to sit beside David, leaving two empty seats beside each other. Nick raised an eyebrow at Selena's consideration and felt, not for the first time, that she knew something. Joe claimed one seat and Nick followed to claim the other. Demi and Miley rushed to claim the last pair of seats gladly and did not waste time offering some of their food to a disgruntled Joe.

"If you want to stay in this table please screw open your heads and insert your brains and a sense of decorum in the designated slot," Matt commented dryly at last, annoyed by the constant fawning. A wave of snickers erupted at the small table as the girls sniffed, insulted, but at least they eventually settled down into some semblance of decency.

Beside him, Nick felt Joe deflate, considerably relieved.

"You want this?"

Nick turned to eye the offered fruit salad. "What's wrong with it?"

Joe blinked at the question. "I wouldn't offer you defective salad..." Joe's eyebrows furrowed suddenly and it made Nick want to kiss the troubled look away. Actually, he wanted Joe to feed him the bowl of sliced fruits, but decided he should keep that to himself. Maybe next time. He gulped at the thought and squirmed in his seat.

He nudged the boy's side jokingly to take away any unintended insult and accepted the bowl of chopped fruits. "You want to trade it for my ice cream, then?"

"Sure."

A silence descended on the table, and it made the pair look up from their friendly trading to find everyone's eyes were on them. "What?" they asked in unison.

A series of shrugs, curious eyebrows and half formed questions were their answer, but in the end, no one questioned them further.

They chatted easily amongst the group, but Nick was surprised to find that they would often drift away and make their own conversations. He found it strangely comforting that they could have a conversation without it ending with their tongues and hands all over each other. They almost seemed like... friends.

After lunch they were given a choice to either explore the premises or return to their rooms to rest. They tagged along with the group, discovering creeks and secluded clearings as well as what the girls deemed to be "secret meeting and serious conversation" spots while eyeing a very disturbed-looking Joe.

They took group as well as individual pictures with the picturesque landscape acting as a background. Once or twice, Selena and Zac had shoved Nick and Joe together for a series of pictures. Nick smiled easily and even draped a friendly arm around Joe's shoulders. Joe had looked miffed, but a reassuring squeeze to his side told Nick he felt otherwise. Selena had looked pleased as Zac took several more shots before leaving the pair alone. Someone found a drifting coconut in the stream and more pictures were being taken of the novelty. Squeals of delight came from the girls as they discovered wild flowers and 'cute' animals. Several snapshots later, Nick felt kind of sorry for the most likely temporarily blinded squirrel that had wandered unknowingly into the girls' path.

Sighing in contentment and in semi-exhaustion, Nick leaned against a bowed tree trunk in one of the "secret meeting and serious conversation" spots. Joe stooped under another tree, picking at the earth and uncovering a slew of interesting earth creatures.

"What's wrong?" the dark-haired boy asked.

"Hmm?"

"You've been quiet," Joe observed as he got up and patted his hands against his pant legs.

"Have I?"

"Kind of." Joe joined Nick and leaned against the trunk as well, fiddling with a spot of dirt on his sleeve.

"I was just surprised a little, I guess."

The dark-haired boy nodded his encouragement for the brunette to elaborate.

"I never really considered the others to be my friends. Even though we spent years together in the same school and we played together, I never once thought I had friends. Once the basketball game was over, we went our separate ways. My relations with everyone stopped at the line of the basketball court and the school gate. No one ever visited my apartment. Most didn't even know I lived alone until Mr. Davis mentioned it one day and everyone seemed so surprised."

Nick licked his thumb and smeared the damp digit across the spot of dirt Joe was unable to erase on his own. The other boy caught his hand and gave the knuckles a brief kiss before urging him to continue. Nick wondered at the tight feeling he felt at every gesture Joe made toward him. It was almost frightening how easily his being had become familiar with the other boy. He never thought he could be so accepting.

"Today, just hanging out with everyone... It seemed almost surreal. It's like we've been friends all along."

"Maybe you have been friends all along. You just didn't want to accept it for some reason or another. Maybe it was you that kept them at a distance... that kept them away from your apartment. Maybe you were the one to wave goodbye so quickly once you'd crossed the lines of the basketball court and the school gates."

Nick grew silent and listened well to what Joe was telling him.

"I've done the same thing, too. Maybe I have been friends with them all along and I just didn't want to accept it for some reason or another. Maybe it was I who kept them at a distance, ignoring their invitations and using my council meetings as an excuse. Maybe I was the one to dismiss it too quickly when someone got too close."

Nick rested his forehead against Joe's and briefly closed his eyes to savor the moment.

"Maybe it was just us all along that kept them at arm's length."

He felt Joe nod against his forehead in acknowledgement.

"Maybe."

The sound of pounding feet crunching on fallen leaves and twigs alerted them of the group's arrival. They drew apart slowly, leaning on the tree trunk casually and waited for the group to enter the clearing.

David and Evan held stripped coconuts in both their hands. The pair noticed that the boys' pants were wet up to the knees and could only assume they had caught the coconuts as they floated in the stream.

"We have coconuts," David grinned.

Behind the coconut carrying pair, Matt only shook his head and stared at the gray sky. Zac held a stick with a spider dangling by its web, watching it in fascination. The girls who looked sick at the sight of the spider had established a corner of the clearing that was overgrown with wild flowers as their own and were taking pictures.

"We have weird friends," Joe said under his breath. Nick snickered softly, wistfully.

It was a strange thought, but it seemed his heart was almost shyly opening up in acceptance. He glanced over momentarily at Joe and thought the boy also fitted into the same category, but at the same time, not quite. He held it in his mind's arms, friendship, like a precious bundle. He held it along with the feelings he had for the dark-eyed boy, soothing it with warm lullabies, like newborns. He had forgotten that warm feeling of caring and being cared for. It was a frightening thing to come out of hiding after so long, but it seemed he had good friends to help tempt him outside, Nick thought as he listened to David and Matt trying to think of as many things as possible that could be done with the coconuts.

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><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	13. Chatting with Birds and Fish

Chapter 13 — Chatting with Birds and Fish

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><p>Joe and Nick waved to the group as everyone went inside their assigned rooms. After a short break, the class participated in a series of activities, most of which had to do with understanding of themselves as growing individuals. The purpose of the retreat was to distance themselves from their daily distractions so that they could focus solely on the person within.<p>

Outdoor activities had been postponed due to the rainy weather, so the students were given an extra hour before bedtime to do what they wished. David and Zac waved as they entered their room, leaving Joe and Nick alone in the dim hallway. Joe watched Nick walking ahead of him, twirling the keys as he approached their room. He hastened his steps and just as the brunette tossed the keys in the air, he deftly caught them.

"Wha—?" He saw the surprise blossom in Nick's face when he pocketed the keys and the small start when Joe shoved him against the wall opposite their empty bedroom. Joe didn't give him a chance to speak before he captured the bewildered mouth and thrust his invading tongue inside. He felt Nick's body freeze against his as he pressed the brunette against the wall. He held Nick's arms above his head as he rocked against the firm body. Somehow, Nick managed to slip a wrist free and pushed Joe away enough to disentangle their tongues and lips. The brunette boy breathed heavily as he caught his breath, glaring at Joe.

He looked down the empty hallway and then eyed all the doors carefully. Only when he deemed it safe did the brunette turn to him again.

"What are you doing?" he hissed sharply. "Anyone could walk down the hall or open their door!"

Joe grinned as he held Nick's head in his hands. He leaned close to an ear, licking the soft lobe. "Exactly."

He felt the boy stiffen at what his answer implied. Kissing him briefly and then placing a silencing finger against the bruised lips, Joe ran his other hand downward. As his hand traveled over Nick's stomach, he whispered his intent to the shivering boy. Joe guessed the boy shook from either wariness at being discovered or excitement. Either way, Joe thought, it would make for an interesting experience.

He unhooked the button on Nick's pants and unzipped the metal zipper, all the while showering the boy's neck with nibbles and kisses. He kissed the boy briefly, then knelt in front of the open fly and looked up into the glazed, nervous eyes. He watched Nick look down the hallway once more and lick his slightly dry lips in nervous anticipation. Joe grinned up at the boy as he slipped the hard cock out of the brunette's pants and gave it a long, wet lick from base to tip. Closing his fist around the base, he lapped at the swollen head before taking it into his warm mouth. He placed his other hand on the boy's hips to hold him up when he saw the trembling knees begin to buckle. He stroked the base firmly as he sucked, quick and wet, slowing when he could feel the boy stiffening on the verge of orgasm. Removing his hand from around the cock, he massaged the sensitive balls lightly with his thumb. He heard Nick's uneven breathing and a soft keening moan that would have been much louder in other circumstances. He took the cock deeper into his mouth allowing Nick a few shallow thrusts. His hands slid behind the boy's thighs and kneaded the firm ass while guiding the hot cock into his mouth.

Above him, Nick's breath grew quicker, hands pulling at Joe's scalp, making it sting and causing his eyes to water. He felt the body stiffen just before he felt hot cum flood his mouth. He swallowed it quickly, wiping his chin with the back of his hand. He glanced upwards at Nick. The boy's head was thrown back, his eyes shut tight and his mouth still open from his silent cry of euphoria. Joe caught the boy's body as it slumped against the wall and dragged Nick to their bedroom just as one of the doors opened, spilling several of their classmates out into the hallway.

Joe shut the door behind them then leaned Nick against its hard surface. He pushed the sweaty bangs off the boy's forehead and kissed him, first on his still-shut eyelids, then on both cheeks, on the tip of the nose, and then a chaste kiss to the bruised lips.

"Jonas..."

"Hmmm?" he inquired, amused at the breathless quality of the other boy's voice.

"I'm now fairly certain you are an exhibitionist."

Joe's bark of laughter followed.

"Nah... Just part exhibitionist." He winked and gave the breathless boy a thorough kiss.

Separating their lips, Nick tiredly leaned forward to rest against Joe and embraced the other boy. They stayed in the warm embrace for a while, and once their legs got tired, they walked to the bed and fell to the mattress together. Neither of them allowed their arms to let go of the other.

A piercing sensation thrummed deep within Joe, just before he had the most peculiar feeling of falling... falling... falling. The pain was sweet, indescribable.

"I don't want to let go," he whispered, shutting his eyes tight, preparing himself for any hurt that would come with such a confession. Silence met his words, then a reassuring squeeze.

"Then don't let go. I don't want to either." The last part barely dipped into audibility.

Silence reigned until Joe found his voice once more, pushing it past the tightness in his throat.

"Jones, I think I'm..."

He felt the boy move and met suspiciously bright eyes.

"What?"

He averted his eyes, feeling a bit of trepidation suddenly. The things he felt were so new, so unknown, leaving him feeling uncertain and awkward. Instead of replying, he kissed the patiently waiting boy. He kissed him and the other kissed back. They kissed and held each other until Joe thought Nick had forgotten he said anything at all.

"I think I'm falling..."

* * *

><p>"You must remember that before you can respect and love one another, you must first respect and love yourself. It is not selfishness. To be able to love yourself enables you to love another just as strongly. Today we are going to explore..."<p>

Joe tuned the discussion out, his eyes drifting to the six people in his group circle until they landed on the hunched figure of the brunette boy. The past two days had been filled with activities: group activities, sharing of thoughts, opinions, and of memories. The large group would split into smaller groups and prepare presentations or complete a task that usually led to lessons on life and love and an awareness of self. He didn't begrudge these activities or the lessons they learned; he only grew slightly angry when he was not able to be with the curly-haired boy. He felt he was indeed learning about such things as life and love and awareness of quite a few things, but he felt strongly about learning them together with Nick. He'd chastised himself particularly on one occasion when all he'd wanted to do was stomp his foot in frustration when once again Nick was assigned to another group and was sent out of the building to participate in an outdoor activity.

_"Then don't let go. I don't want to either."_

He signed inwardly and watched as Matt poked Nick in the ribs to keep the boy from nodding off. They had stayed up during the nights, sometimes talking, kissing, exploring, and sometimes just holding on tightly to one other. Sleep only came when the darkness lightened or when the other fell asleep. On more than one occasion, Joe found himself just watching Nick sleep, watching the rise and fall of his naked chest and feeling wondrous at how much his life, their lives, had changed.

_"I think I'm..."_

"All right, does anyone have any thoughts they would like to share or questions they're just dying to ask?" the excessively bouncy counselor inquired merrily, apparently finished with her speech for now.

Several hands rose in the air and a few expressed their opinions. Some questions were repeated over and over, only in different words. Joe watched and listened passively, only paying attention with half an ear, not wanting to miss anything in case he was asked for his own opinions.

"Yes, Demi... I can call you Demi, right?"

"Yes, that's fine."

Joe's eyes swiveled to her, a queasy feeling in his stomach somehow prompting him to pay attention.

"How do you know that you're in love? It is possible to love someone more than you love yourself?"

From the corner of his eye, he saw Nick sit up straighter, suddenly wide awake. His own ears grew warm as he sat, waiting for an answer.

"Before I say anything, what do you think, Demi?"

"I..." She bowed her head, biting her bottom lip, a habit she never outgrew. Then, with determined eyes, she set her shoulders and looked straight at Joe, meeting his eyes. Although she flinched at his hardened stare, she continued anyway. "I think you know you're in love when you want only the most wonderful things to happen to that person. When you don't want any harm to come to them and when you're aware of their entire being, even if you're miles away. Always worrying, wondering, and hoping." She gave a brave swallow and licked her dry lips. "I think it's possible to love someone more than you love yourself. Always wanting to give everything to him first and worry about yourself later." She paused and silence fell heavily in the air.

A few heads turned, looking back and forth between the two of them. Beside Demi, Miley's head was bowed, her fist clenched on her lap, her shoulders shaking. He couldn't look away from Demi's green eyes no matter how much he wanted to. He wanted to, badly. He wanted to see how Nick looked and he wanted to get up and hurt her for daring to confess so blatantly in front of so many people.

In the end, he blinked slowly, turned away, and looked straight ahead, unseeing.

"Ummm..." The counselor cleared her throat and turned her attention to Demi, voice less perky, a little softer.

He didn't see how Demi looked, nor did he hear most of what was said.

"First love yourself... Loving someone didn't mean... It's not love when... Unconditional..."

The sentences sounded broken in his ears. He pasted on a mask, looking uncaring, detached. It was far too familiar. He still felt her pleading eyes on him.

"Hey, Nick! Get up! This isn't your bedroom!"

"Wha—Sleepy... Stop poking..."

The commotion broke the tension immediately and Joe was by Nick's side when he shakily stood up.

"Excuse him," he apologized for the boy, "I don't think he slept much last night. I'll bring him to our—the room."

The teachers nodded their consent and he half-dragged Nick out of the room, leaving the uncomfortable discussion and the pleading stares behind.

Only when they passed the lobby did Nick stand straighter and walk towards their room normally, fatigue evaporating as if it hadn't been there in the first place.

"Man... That was some serious stuff!" He disentangled himself from Joe's supporting arms and walked backwards to speak with him face-to-face. "I thought she was going to crawl to you and start shaking you for an answer! Heck, just a word or two and I bet she would have been happy."

Joe felt like he had been slapped. From Nick's words, it suddenly sounded like he really was the monster he felt he was. He bowed his head and hid his hands in his pockets, walking forward slowly.

"What the—? Oh! Hey! I didn't mean it like that." Nick's voice wavered.

A hand tugged one of his hands free from its pocket. Nick pulled him and he was forced to keep up as the brunette ran towards their bedroom, dragging him by their entwined fingers. They entered the bedroom; the door was barely shut behind them before he was engulfed in a fierce hug. He moved his arms to hug back and buried his face in the boy's shoulder. He took in calming breaths, breathing in the boy's baby powder scent. Then Nick let go of him and leaned against the door, arms crossing over his chest.

"I didn't mean it like that, okay? I didn't mean to insult you. I just thought that was how she looked, that's all. If she was going to say something like that, she should have damn well braced herself for every possible kind of reaction."

Joe nodded, fighting the urge to rub at the ache that was blossoming in his chest. He grabbed Nick's shirt suddenly, kissing him frantically. He pulled them to a bed, pulling Nick down on top of him. He concentrated on the boy's body on top of his own, feeling every slide of the boy's tongue against his, drawing from him a warm feeling to numb the ache. He rolled on top of the brunette boy and allowed his hand to wander over the toned body, all the while kissing desperately.

He realized his desperation and stopped, resting his hands on the hard stomach and the soft cheek.

"You should sleep. You really didn't sleep much last night."

Nick blinked up at him.

"The same goes for you. I don't think you slept at all."

Joe moved to get up and kissed Nick's neck before he stood.

"I'm fine. I have to get back. They will need me for the next activity."

Nick nodded, unsure, and then covered himself with a blanket. Joe tugged the edge of the white cloth and squeezed the hand under it.

"I'll be back later to wake you for dinner. Sweet dreams."

He waited until Nick closed his eyes, standing over the boy, watching his breathing even out. Once he was certain Nick was asleep, he left the room.

He strolled down the hallway and instead of heading back to the others, he went outside. He found a large rock to sit on beside a small, man-made pond. The occasional fish would break the surface and then swim away. A slight drizzle fell, making his clothes, hair, and skin a little damp. It had been wet all week.

"I can't get enough of him," he confessed to a wading fish. "From the moment I touched him two years ago, I was hooked. It's frightening." He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling a sudden chill.

"I don't know what the hell I'm feeling!"

The fish scurried away at the sudden cry, diving back down into the dark depths. He raked his fingers through his hair, feeling an overwhelming frustration.

He heard approaching footsteps crunching on the pebbles around the pond and stood quickly, grabbing at his runaway composure.

"There you are."

He turned to face the camp counselor who had found him and gave a small bow.

"I checked your room to see if both of you had fallen asleep." She gave a soft smile. "Do you want to come back inside? It's kind of wet out here."

"What is love?" His question had taken her by surprise, but he noted how she adjusted quickly. "How do you decipher between love and the selfish desire to keep something, someone, close, simply because they gave you something you never had? Will I turn and cling to every person who gives me a slight taste of it?"

She listened patiently and waited while he reigned in the emotions he hadn't meant to show.

"I think you already know the answers, Mr. Jonas. I'd like to tell you what I think, but I think it's different for everyone."

She tossed her head toward the retreat center, to the other students.

"I don't want to sound repetitive or cliché, but it truly is up to you. You have to ask yourself these questions. When you feel those overwhelming feelings, think of your answers to the questions and don't let fear and doubt cloud your judgment. Grab on to it and discover what it is."

Silence.

"Wooooh..." She shivered. "It's getting pretty cold. Let's head back huh? You look like you need some sleep too. Why don't you rest as well? I'll excuse you from the next activity."

Joe watched her walk away. He simply replayed her words in his mind, hoping he would discover the answers. He knew he wasn't going to find them so easily.

She stopped walking, waiting for him to catch up. He trotted to walk by her side and watched the bounce in her step and the wistful smile on her painted lips.

"I'll tell you one thing, though. For me, love is like..." She spread her arms wide open, looked up to the sky, and closed her eyes. "...soaring."

She "soared" to the center's doors and made flapping movements with her arms. Momentarily stunned, Joe watched his counselor "fly away." He shook his head and chuckled a little.

_No wonder she was so bouncy_, he thought.

He didn't follow her to the recreation room; instead, he headed back to their bedroom. He entered the room and shut and locked the door behind him silently. He removed his shoes and damp shirt and pants and crawled onto his own bed, watching Nick's turned back across the room. Several minutes later, he gave up trying to sleep on his own and moved beside the other teen. He reached out a shaking hand and stroked the turned back. Instantly, Nick turned in his sleep and wrapped his arms and legs around him. Drawing the blanket over them, Joe kissed the brunette's head softy and embraced the boy in return.

A myriad of thoughts came to him at once, but his fatigue and the fragrant smell of baby powder kept them at bay for the time being. Sleep came quickly and then his thoughts followed him in his dreams.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	14. Twirling Flowers and Crushing Petals

I simply adore your comments. Keep them coming, _please!_ I feed off of those!

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><p>Chapter 14 - Twirling flowers; Crushing Petals<p>

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><p>Two consecutive knocks woke Nick. He groaned and wondered who was knocking on his apartment door at such a late hour. He swung his legs to the side of the bed, feeling a carpeted floor instead of cold wood. A minute or two more passed until realization dawned on him like a reluctant snail. He looked behind him to find Joe sleeping peacefully and he remembered where they were. He drew the blanket over Joe's bare chest and tossed the pillow and blanket around in the other bed to make it look slept in. He quickly pulled on a shirt before trudging noisily to the door and answering the polite knocks.<p>

Zac stood outside in the halls, freshly showered, shirt clinging to slightly damp skin.

"Good morning, Jones. Breakfast will be in half an hour. Please alert Jonas that there is a meeting fifteen minutes prior."

Nick, who had leaned sleepily against the door frame, nodded slowly as everything that was said caught up with his still snoozing mind.

"See you at breakfast." With that said, Zac knocked on the other door, the knocks a little harder. He'd probably already tried to wake the occupants before them once.

Nick stretched, scratching his abdomen absently. The noise and activity beside their room finally registered to his muddy mind. David was moving bags into the room next to theirs, the one that was apparently under renovations. After knocking on a few more doors, Zac paused to help David move a few more belongings.

"What's going on?" Joe's voice came from behind. He appeared beside him, still wearing only his pajama pants. A brief touch on the small of his back acted as a greeting. They watched some more until Nick was able to flag down the pair for some questions.

"Hey. What's happening?"

The pair approached them, trailing wet footprints on the carpeted floor.

"Good morning."

They exchanged greetings and allowed David to explain.

"Rain wet the carpet."

"What did you do, David?" Nick grinned, already waking.

"He was not at fault. A moth entered the room last night. I was too tired to help it outside so I left the window open. We woke to a wet floor."

Joe and Nick snickered a little.

"Only you, Zac," Joe said, shaking his head.

"So you guys are moving into the room beside ours? I thought..."

"We did not want to trouble the staff; we can deal with stripped walls. Everything else is fine."

They nodded their understanding as their thoughts ran along the same lines: _I wonder how thin the walls are._

Zac turned to Joe.

"Jonas, the meeting...?"

"Yes, I heard."

"See you in fifteen."

They closed the door behind them. Nick leaned against the door and Joe leaned on him.

"I wonder how thin these walls are."

Joe hummed against his neck.

"We can find out..."

"How?" Nick inquired, running his hands on the boy's sides.

"I can jerk you off and ask our neighbors how loud we were." Joe grinned against his skin.

Nick sniggered and pushed the boy away. "C'mon, let's get ready. You have only a couple of minutes."

They headed to the showers. A few boys were already there, either in the process of showering or having just finished. He was grateful for the individual stalls and glass doors. Keeping his white robe with its frog prints close over his chest, Nick claimed a stall. Before he entered, he saw something glimmer on Joe's chest. He asked himself how he could have missed it earlier. His chain dangled around the pale neck, pendant pressing flat on Joe's chest. The boy hadn't worn it in a while but he'd probably kept it close.

His recent dreams, or nightmares more like, returned to him suddenly. Nick sighed under the torrent spray of lukewarm water. Behind his shut eyes, he saw the image of blood on the snow.

* * *

><p>"It's still a little wet out there, but I think we can manage the race. You guys won't let a little mud stop you from learning, right?" Mr. Davis cheered positively.<p>

David and Nick snorted. "You're a geek, Mr. Davis!" they cheered. Laughter followed as Mr. Davis blushed guiltily.

"Alright, everyone draw your partner's name from this box!"

A couple of minutes later, they stood outside beside their partners. Nick looked over to a seething Demi as the girl gritted her teeth in jealousy. Miley waved from her spot beside a rather petulant looking Joe.

"I should have gone ahead of her! Why did I have to be so nice?"

"Oh, c'mon, Demi. Am I that bad?" He grinned adorably.

She spared him a moment to direct a glare in his direction. He only grinned at her turned back.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Nick?"<p>

The brunette boy looked down from his perch on a tree limb at his race partner. Demi twirled a wild flower's stem with her fingers, head bowed, watching the flower spin.

After a few moments of silence, he looked to the distance once more. A few sun beams penetrated the thick and low gray clouds. Mist swallowed the trees and land, allowing only the tree tops to be seen.

"It's like broccoli soup," he murmured. No matter how he squinted he couldn't penetrate the gray that cloaked the ground. Finally, he gave up. "I can't see the other teams with all this fog," he announced and carefully climbed down the slightly slippery tree trunk. Once his feet touched the ground, he wiped his hands on his pant legs and turned to face the dark-haired girl.

He was surprised when her arms pinned him and forced him to lean back against the tree trunk. She was eyeing him carefully, assessing.

"I have a favor to ask."

He furrowed his eyebrows, his curiosity piqued.

"We're friends, right?"

"If you want me to arrange a meeting between you and Jonas, you better get in line. Almost every girl has asked me already." He tried not to get distracted when he noticed she was leaning closer.

"No, it's not that, at least not yet. We're friends, right?"

He shifted his feet uncomfortably. "Sure, I guess so." She was definitely leaning closer, he thought.

"Kiss me?"

"_What?_" He pushed her away gently and escaped her arms. Backing away a few steps, he shook his head to make sure he had heard her correctly. "Are you mixing medicines?" he asked.

"Hey!" she protested. "I'm asking for a bigger purpose!"

"Should I be scared to ask what that is?"

"I wanted Joe to be my first kiss, but I don't want to be an inexperienced kisser, so I thought I should practice!"

To her mind, that probably made a lot of sense, he thought. "Demi, as..." He coughed. "...Flattered as I am that you chose me, shouldn't you go the old fashioned way and just kiss him despite your inexperience?" Not that Joe would be interested in kissing anyone else any time soon, he mentally added. Maybe, or maybe not? Now he was confused.

She stepped closer, getting a strange gleam in her eyes. He took another step backwards.

"S-Shouldn't you save your first kiss for the person you really like? Isn't that part of the entire experience? Isn't it a special thing despite the clumsy results?"

She clutched her head and made a frustrated sound. "I love him, Nick! I can't help it! I want it to be perfect! I can't stop thinking about him! I hate it when his eyes aren't focused on me; I don't want him looking at anyone else, touching anyone else!"

Her eyes had grown wide and slightly watery. She gripped the flower to her chest, crushing some of the petals. He stared at her, suddenly undecided as to how to react, as to what to say.

She grew silent and then spoke in a softer voice. She twirled the flower once more with its stem and its damaged petals.

"You know what I think love would feel like, Nick?"

He did not interrupt her; just let her express her heart.

"I think it will feel like spinning... Spinning... until the whole world turns into a blur and all you can see is the person you love spinning along with you." She smiled softly. "That's what I imagine love would be like."

She looked up from watching the spinning flower and met his eyes over the short distance. "How about you, Nick?"

He shifted under her gaze and avoided her eyes, choosing instead to look at the fogged distance. He recalled the strong emotions he felt whenever he thought of or was near Joe. It was a feeling of...

"I don't know," he answered.

Demi closed the distance between them in three quick strides while he was distracted by his thoughts. She gripped his hand and looked at him with pleading eyes.

"You understand, right? Please, Nick? For me?"

He began to shake his head and panicked as she leaned forward. Somehow, he couldn't move away; he was suddenly weak. He was too frightened to break her heart.

"Jones! Demi! Have you forgotten the race?"

They jumped apart at the familiar voice of the class president. Joe and Miley stood a short distance away, wearing twin expressions of curiosity and surprise on their faces.

Demi began floundering and tried to explain that it wasn't what it looked like, while at the same time avoiding all their eyes. Miley grilled her for being caught in a compromising position. Joe met Nick's eyes over the girls' heads, questioning. The brunette teen indicated that he would explain later.

The rest of the race was silent. Miley and Joe stayed with them. Once in a while, Miley would tease the other girl. Demi would protest but was obviously not in the mood to spar words with her rival. She excused herself at the end of the race, and apologized that they hadn't won, then disappeared into the other activities. Miley followed her, leaving the boys alone.

_...Spinning... Spinning until the whole world turns into a blur... _

Joe pulled him to an empty room and barely allowed him time to explain what he'd walked into before kissing him desperately, seeming to be searching for something. Nick kissed back, ignoring the guilty feeling eating away at him slowly as he recalled Demi's words.

_...And all you can see is the person you love spinning along with you..._

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	15. Uttered Sentiments

I have a couple things to address here, and would appreciate it if you were to kindly glance over this, for they pertain to the story...

So, number one, someone asked me if Joe and Nick were official. Like, boyfriend and boyfriend. To clarify, my answer is:  
>Well, no, not necessarily. It's like... They know what they feel, but there's no need for them to put a label on it, y'know? I'll elaborate more on this in a few chapters... (Keep in mind that I already have the whole thing written out.) Yes, they have commitment to each other. But, I mean, it's the same for the topic of are they both gay? You assume that they are, but really, the answer is kind of, since they're pretty much head over heels for each other. But, you see, it's not necessarily an absolute. There's nothing stopping one of them from falling in love with a girl, if the opportunity came along, but that's highly unlikely, considering the situation they've found themselves in. They just have eyes for each other, and those minor black and white labels don't really matter to them. Questions, concerns? Do you guys understand what I'm saying here?<p>

Second topic of discussion...  
>Hmm. Such negative comments about Demi I've gotten. Interesting... Well, can't say I blame you. I wouldn't blame her either, though. Joe's hot. ;) Anyway, if you hate her now, I'd like to see what you think of her later... She plays such important roles throughout this story. Hm, well, you shall see what I mean later... All in time, my pretties. All in good time. (For those of you who don't know of my YouTube account, you probably have no idea what I'm talking about. To fill you in, I post this story on my YouTube account with links sending people here, and a lot of them just comment on the video instead of reviewing. Anyway...) I hope that last part (before the parenthesis) didn't creep you out, ha. I read that over, and I kind of reminded myself of some witch, like the one from Hansel and Gretel or some shit like that...<p>

Alas, enough with all this babble. I present to you chapter 15 of this enjoyable story. :)

* * *

><p>Beware. Don't say I didn't warn you. ;)<p>

* * *

><p>Chapter 15 - Uttered Sentiments<p>

* * *

><p>Lightning struck in the distance and rolling thunder followed. Heavy, fat raindrops spat against the trembling window of the rather crowded room. Joe entered with two cans of soda and sought his roommate out among the many bodies currently visiting their room. He only had to look for the largest crowd to find Nick. Having this many people over in their room should have bothered him, but he simply shrugged the mild concern away. It seemed that the majority of activities planned for the trip were outdoor recreations which were hindered by the tempestuous weather throughout the week. Having finished several indoor activities during the day, the students had been given a respite to rest or socialize among themselves.<p>

He was surprised to find that the majority of the boys and a few girls had immediately migrated to their room.

Nick sat on the bed they usually occupied at night. Chairs had been brought in by the students to sit on and conversation buzzed throughout the room.

Joe carefully maneuvered around the bodies until he reached Nick's side and sat beside the boy, who was currently telling a story. The brunette absently accepted the drink, only pausing for a second to nod his thanks before continuing.

"So I shoved him aside and made a grab for the ball while he hit the pavement, whimpering like the baby he was! I ran for the net while he nursed his little scratches. The wind whirled past my ears, my feet left the pavement and I soared and shot and scored while he wailed about his dirtied uniform!"

Nick paused to take a breath as Joe wondered who his opponent was in the story.

"And that!" Nick continued, "my fellow students, is how I scrubbed the great Jonas's face on the pavement! Eat dust, Jonas!" Nick gave a victorious hoot and smirked cheekily at the pale boy.

Joe snorted and promptly kicked his roommate off the bed.

Laughter erupted in the room as Nick climbed back on the bed. Joe hid an amused smile behind his drink as he recalled the true events of that day. That was the day he'd given into the urge and touched the boy as he pleased. He had surprised himself and Nick that day. He remembered the taste of the other's sweat on his tongue as he lapped on the sharp jaw while the boy below him shuddered in disgust. For the other boy to make light of the situation now was a relief, but he couldn't help but wonder if it was just another deception for their classmates to eat up.

Little by little the crowd thinned until it was only he, Nick, Matt, Evan, Zac, and David left in the room. Zac sat on one of the high-backed chairs in the sitting area while David sat by his feet, one arm resting on Zac's folded legs and the other moving in rapid successions as he spoke. Joe was amused to note that it was like a dog sitting by his master's side. He tried to stifle his laughter but it escaped anyways. At Nick's questioning glance, he shook his head at its insignificance.

Evan sat on the other chair munching on yet another bag of potato chips while Matt discussed the merits of staying at home as opposed to coming along to this trip. He occupied the other bed that was hardly slept on. Nick and Joe occupied their bed, claiming both ends. Nick stretched his legs out while Joe perched on the edge, his feet planted on the floor. David debated with Matt and once in a while the others would join in and express their own opinions. Soon, though, the conversation died down until only a murmur or two could be heard at any given time. The bark of thunder and the tap of falling rain filled in the comfortable silence.

Nick had just fallen asleep at his end of the bed as Matt announced their departure and nudged Evan awake. Zac and David also returned to their room after a few more minutes of quiet conversation.

Joe stared at the closed door, blinking in wonderment. It was an odd experience. He wondered at how much of a difference it made when one actually participated in the conversations. For once in his life, he felt like he was part of the crowd. Like he belonged.

After a while, he stood to lock the door and dim the lights, returning to his previous spot to watch the curly-haired boy sleep. He gazed at the bare feet and then up the cloth-covered legs before continuing on to the hand that scratched at the toned stomach absently. He ran dark eyes over the always tempting neck and jaw, recalling how the Adam's apple would bob as the boy spoke and laughed. A finger scratched at a stubborn itch on a soft cheek. Joe glanced at the long fingers and up the sun-kissed arms. His eyes swiveled to the slightly pouting lips. The slightest movement of his head enabled him to make out the almost invisible scar on his left cheek in the dim light. He had often wondered about it, but felt it was not his place to ask. Nick would volunteer the information when he was ready.

He continued past the pert nose and then to the brown eyelashes grazing the boy's cheeks. The lashes and brows, he found, were slightly darker than the light, curly head of hair. The thought of that dark hair caused him to think of other places were the hair was slightly darker. He thought of how amused those forest eyes would be if Nick could hear his thoughts.

Joe licked his lips in anticipation and shifted like a snake preparing to strike. Crawling slowly to the other boy, he knelt before the other teen, arms braced against the headboard. He bent his head to lap at the exposed collar bone and dipped his wet tongue into the small hollow as his hand moved to knead the boy's inner thigh and another hand raked through dark brown ringlets.

Nick came awake instantly and froze when Joe covered his eyes.

"Jonas?" A slight quiver of uncertainty was quickly replaced by a groan as Joe cupped his hardening cock.

"Quiet, Jones, we're putting on a show for the boys."

"What!" Nick pulled at the hand covering his eyes, but Joe shushed him comfortingly. He sniggered against warm blushing ears and lapped at the lobe before reassuring the semi-panicked boy that they were alone. The other teen sagged in obvious relief and pulled Joe's hand away from over his eyes.

"When did everyone leave?"

"When I started eyeing you hungrily..."

Nick laughed out loud and didn't bother to ask if it was true or not.

Fingers gripped Joe's shirt as he continued to stroke Nick through his pants and lapped and sucked at the throbbing vein on the boy's neck. The other boy angled his neck to make it more accessible for him to devour.

He pulled Nick away from leaning on the headboard, forcing him to lie on the bed as he straddled the boy's waist. Unbuttoning his shirt quickly, Joe lapped down the hairless chest to latch onto a pink nipple. He swirled his tongue over it until it was erect, biting and pulling at it softly. Nick arched off the bed below him as he ground their erections together. Joe sucked the pink flesh into his mouth greedily as Nick groaned from the startling pleasure.

His pale fingers pushed the shirt fabric away to kiss down the heated abdomen, tasting salty sweat on the smooth skin. He untied the knot of the low-riding joggers the brunette wore and slipped his hand inside, wrapping the fingers of his hand around the hard shaft within.

"...Nnnn, Jonas..." the brunette boy keened.

Joe felt Nick's eyes on him as he kissed his hip bone and pumped the swollen organ slowly. Moving off the boy's legs, he met the glazed hazel eyes and smirked deviously, gripping the soft fabric of the pants and pulling them down along with the boxers the brunette wore. He pulled them down past the knees and feet until they were off the boy's leg and then threw the articles of clothing to the side. Joe ran long fingers down the naked thighs and sat himself in front of the partially clothed boy. He spread Nick's legs, resting them over his thighs, bringing the boy to sit in between his parted legs.

Joe tried to catch his quickening breath as he ran greedy hands over the boy's naked flesh. His erection throbbed at the warmth beneath his fingertips. His stomach quivered at the erratic beating of his heart. Putting his palms over Nick's heart, he found that the beat was in tune with his. Nick met his heated gaze and gave a teasing wink, a smile tugging at both of their faces.

Fingers slipped under Joe's t-shirt and gave a demanding tug at the fabric. He lifted his arms as the gray shirt was pulled over his head and tossed into the growing pile on the floor. He watched the sun-kissed hand caress his moonlit chest and hissed when thumbs massaged his nipples.

Nick moved to shower his neck with wet kisses and tiny, teasing nips, finding the spot below his ear that caused him to shiver. The wandering mouth pulled on his earlobe and made its way past his cheeks to brush lightly over his open lips.

A warm tongue dipped inside to touch his own, hands holding his head still. Joe watched Nick's closed eyes as he was kissed tenderly. Warm breath mingled with his own, making him feel that addictive intimacy.

"...Joe..."

Joe's breath caught in his throat as the unfamiliar first name was murmured against his lips, tugging at his heart and being.

He wound his arms around Nick's waist, crushing the boy to him, bringing their chests together. Their kiss became deeper, hungrier and pulled at both of their souls. Joe's tongue embraced Nick's, tasting. Fingernails dug into the skin of his shoulders as he was pushed down to lie on his back. Nick moved off of him, unbuckling his belt, unhooking the buttons, and then sliding his legs out of the pants.

The brunette looked down at him with a Cheshire grin. Joe wasn't wearing any underwear. His body flushed as the boy's eyes devoured it hungrily.

His body was covered by Nick's in a graceful move as exploring hands roved over his porcelain skin. Fingers closed over his cock and gave long, slow strokes, thumb smearing pre-cum over the leaking head. Nick lapped circles across his chest as mischievous fingers pinched his erect nipple.

"Ahhhhh!" He cried out as his cock was stroked faster. Pleasure radiated off his body, spreading and touching every nerve. A coil of pleasure began at the base of his spine, growing bigger at every teasing stroke. Nick kissed down his body and his eyes grew wide as a hot mouth took his cock. He bit his bottom lip, partly conscious of their neighbors and partly afraid of screaming his throat hoarse. The wet and warm heat left his cock to travel downwards to lap at his balls and then settle onto his milky inner thigh. A hand remained, pumping his shaft slowly while lips and teeth grazed his sensitized skin. He braced his upper body on his elbows to watch the brunette and promptly fell back as Nick sucked on his thigh, marking him. He felt the pull on his skin as the searing lips sucked fiercely. The hand that held his cock stroked faster, unmercifully.

"Nnnnnnnn! God!" Joe found his head had moved beyond the mattress giving him an upside-down view of the room. The entire experience was making him feel like his world had flipped upside-down. The coiling heat burned him from within as the brunette's mouth drove him almost insane.

Slowly, the torturous lips stopped with a final lick to the reddened skin. This gave Joe the chance to shakily get up on his elbows. Nick's hand coated his cock with his slick pre-cum; the boy seemed to enjoy Joe's mewling sounds.

Before he could comment on the red mark, two fingers gently pressed on his abused bottom lip, prompting his mouth to open. He coated the fingers with spit, tasting himself. Joe sucked teasingly as the brunette's breath caught, hazel eyes glazing over. Releasing the saliva-coated fingers, he watched the brunette bend over to take his cock once more and jumped a little when a wet finger traced his entrance. His spine arched off the bed as the slick finger entered him slowly, stroking his insides. The mouth on his cock sucked harder just as the digit bent and touched something that made his throat dry and fingers clutch the sheets.

"What—! Ahhh!"

He arched off the bed once more as Nick moved his finger in and out of his entrance, striking the same delicious spot over and over.

"I... I can't..." Joe's mind refused to function as his body buzzed in agonizing pleasure. Electricity charged up his spine and white hot pleasure overrode his sanity. He clutched at the sheets, hearing a distinct tear as he threw back his head and released himself into Nick's hot mouth. He gave a soundless cry, his eyes fluttering closed as his body shuddered deliciously.

After a few moments of allowing air to burn into his lungs once more, he moved from his collapsed position on the mattress. Nick looked up at him, pleased. Joe reached for the offered hand and allowed himself to be pulled up. He sat, staring at the brunette youth before capturing the smirking lips with his own. He pulled the brunette close, feeling their slick bodies, slippery with sweat, slide against each other. He moaned into the kiss as their tongues slithered against teeth, cheek, and tongue.

He felt Nick's erection rub against his abdomen, hard and waiting for its release. Joe moved his lips near the boy's ear, his cheeks sticky against Nick's. "Turn around on your hands and knees..." he whispered and felt a shiver run up the boy's body.

Nick complied, turning his back and kneeling on the damp sheets, hands clutching them in anticipation. Joe covered the brunette's body with his, hissing as his sensitized cock brushed up against the boy's ass. He kissed the sinewy back, kissing first the shoulders and then down the curving spine, licking at the salty sweat. His hands kneaded the toned thighs and then the firm ass cheeks. Nick shuddered under him, breath uneven. He lapped at the small of the boy's back then licked lower.

"Spread your legs."

With a small whimper, the boy complied. Joe licked him firmly, giving him a teasing nip. Parting his ass cheeks, Joe gave a small smirk before running his tongue over the sensitive hole.

"Ahhhhhh!" Nick's spine bowed up as the sheets tore more.

Joe continued his torture, circling and teasing. Beads of sweat ran down the boy's body as he heard the uneven, harsh breathing. The brunette's body shook under his hands. Squeezing a thigh in warning, he thrust his tongue into the hole, piercing against the muscles.

"Fuck!"

Nick tried to stifle his cries but a few moans escaped, encouraging Joe. He reached around the brunette and fisted the dripping erection, as he thrust his tongue in and out. He palmed the head and stroked faster, pumping pleasure. The body rocked against his hand, craving more and more friction. He felt Nick's body go rigid just before hot seed drenched his hand, pulsing. Nick gave a guttural growl as he tried to stifle his loud ecstasy. His body shuddered, collapsing onto the mattress.

Joe withdrew his hand from under the boy and lay down to cover half of the boy's body. His face lay close to the panting brunette as he watched him catch his runaway breath. Nick's glazed eyes stared into his, clouded with satiated pleasure. A wavering hand heavily covered his, interlacing their fingers. Nick made a face at the stickiness but did not remove his hand. Both of them gave a soft laugh, and then grew quiet, just staring at each other. Chills began to prick at Joe's skin as their bodies began to cool. Pushing himself up, he wrapped his hand around the other boy, pulling him up. He half-carried Nick to the other bed and laid him down carefully. Trudging to the bathroom, he brushed his teeth and washed his hands. Grabbing a towel, he soaked it, wringing excess water out, and went back to the other boy. He ran the wet cloth over the unmoving body slowly, cleaning as much of the stickiness off as he could.

"A shower would be nice right now."

Joe lifted his head from the rising and falling chest to find piercing hazel eyes watching him. He smiled softly, taking the boy's hand and smoothing the cloth over every finger leisurely. "Yeah."

"But I can't move."

"Mmm," he agreed, kissing each clean fingertip.

"Joe..."

His head swiveled to meet the hazel eyes once more, recalling his name being called earlier. He sat in stunned silence and then allowed Nick to pull him down to lie on top of him. He pulled the covers over them absently, his eyes never leaving the gaze.

"I never hated you."

He let his breath pass through his lips, not realizing he had been holding it. He smiled again, moving his head down to nuzzle the boy's neck. He felt warmth cover his cheeks at the admittance and kissed the skin near his lips softly. He moved his arms to hold Nick to him, burying his face further into the warm neck, kissing and lapping. He felt arms surround him as well, holding him closer.

He rolled off of Nick, bringing the brunette's head to rest on his chest. He adjusted the blanket around them and sighed in contentment as the warm body clamped around his. His fingers lazily ran through the damp brown hair, listening as the other's breath deepened as sleep took him. He stared at the ceiling for a long time, holding onto the boy and the feelings he stirred.

"Nick..."

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><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	16. Blood on the Snow

Chapter 16 – Blood on the Snow

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><p>A roll of rumbling thunder woke Joe from his restful sleep. He opened his eyes to momentary darkness and quickly shut them again as harsh lightning painted the room a blinding white. He blinked in the dark once the lightning had passed, looking past the spots in his vision.<p>

He rolled over to his side, only to have his face buried in a mop of brown curls. He suddenly registered where he was and the weight on his side reminded him of the other boy. Sitting up slowly, he lifted his arm aside and looked down at the messy sleeper. Using the light that was filtering into the room, he traced the body beneath the thin blanket with his eyes. He ran long fingers gently down the exposed abdomen and stopped where the blanket began. He bit his lip when the brunette shifted, exposing a hipbone, stirring heat within him.

"This is bad," he chastised as he watched, fascinated, as his hands moved of their own accord to brush a pink nipple, massaging it until it hardened. Nick groaned in his sleep, arching into Joe's touch.

"Stop it, Joe," he hissed to himself just before he bent down to take the nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his teeth and tongue. He felt himself grow hard against the other boy's thighs. He ran questing fingers up and down sinewy arms and then a chiseled chest, tweaking the other nipple. His body sought friction as he rubbed himself against the strong thigh.

Nick groaned, his hands gripping the bed sheet in his sleep. His head tilted back onto the pillow, exposing the tempting neck. Joe moved to cover Nick's body with his, aligning their hips and starting a slow grind against the other boy's growing erection.

He felt the boy's breathing hasten as their chests touched. He ran a hand beneath the boy's back to press him closer, grinding harder.

He grunted as Nick's hardened dick rubbed against his, sending pleasure coursing through his body.

He lapped and sucked on the exposed throat, teething the sensitized skin and sucking it harshly. Nick moaned and rocked against Joe, his breathing uneven.

Joe covered the open mouth with his own, thrusting his tongue inside. The warm mouth kissed him back, a tongue tangling with his own. Surprised, Joe moved to pull back, but a hand on the back of his neck prevented him from breaking the kiss.

Nick ground against him just as another hand squeezed his ass, pressing him closer. They rocked back and forth together, feeling their slick naked flesh slide and thrum with unreleased pleasure.

Joe kissed Nick harder, bumping teeth and sliding tongues. He tasted the other boy's saliva, mixing it with his own, no longer knowing which taste belonged to whom.

"I'm sorry," he apologized into the kiss, sneaking his hand in between them to hold their erections together and pumping quickly.

"Don't be. It's a nice way to wake up," Nick moaned back, biting Joe's bottom lip and sucking at the small hurt.

Joe broke the kiss to lick the boy's cheek and captured an earlobe teasingly. He felt the pleasure building just as the body beneath his stiffened and met each of his strokes, thrusting into his cock and hand. He let go of their erections and held Nick tight to him, burrowing his face into the warm neck.

Grunts and moans filled the air, uncaring of the noise as their bodies ground harder into each other. Nick's hands dug fingernails into the side of his hips as the boy arched against him.

"Ahhhhh!"

"Nnnnnnnnnnahhhh!"

Joe ground himself harder as white fire spread throughout his body, releasing his seed on his and Nick's stomach. He felt Nick grind and shudder beneath him, releasing sticky cum, as legs wound around him.

Joe collapsed on Nick, spent, breathing heavily. Using the last of his strength, he pushed himself off to allow the other boy to breath.

They lay side by side, spent and exhausted for the second time that night. They looked up to the dark ceiling as forgotten lightning flashed and the unheard thunder rumbled.

"What were you doing up?" Nick finally spoke up once he had caught his breath.

"I was going to change the sheets on the other bed," Joe explained.

"So what happened?" the other boy asked after a moment of silence.

"You're a messy sleeper."

A small laugh rumbled in Nick's chest, the only laugh he could manage at the moment. "Would you have continued even if I had stayed asleep?"

Silence, and then, "Yes."

Joe turned towards Nick to find the boy studying his profile. "I'm sorry," he apologized again, feeling guilt fall heavily to the bottom of his stomach.

Nick sat up to nuzzle his neck. "Don't be." He accepted a soft kiss, and then winced as he felt the sticky mess between them. "We should clean up."

Joe nodded his assent. They rested for a while longer, shaking off the buzzing pleasure in their bodies before getting up to strip both beds. They found extra sheets in the drawers of both dressers.

Wrapping themselves in warm bathrobes and grabbing some clean clothes, they headed to the showers. They showered quickly and dressed.

They returned to their rooms wide awake, sitting opposite one another on one bed. Nick ran fingers through his messy, damp hair, pulling at a few tangles. A few droplets of water slid from Joe's dark hair to fall on the fresh sheets, getting soaked in.

"It's three in the morning. Do you think we woke anyone?" Nick asked, listening for any sort of noise.

Joe smirked deviously and winked at the brunette. "I guess we'll find out tomorrow."

They laughed softly.

Nick lifted his leg and poked at Joe's folded knee with his toe as he sat back, bracing his weight on his arms behind him.

"Why didn't you hit me like you usually did that day?"

Joe looked up from the boy's feet as he recalled the afternoon Nick spoke off. He suddenly tasted the boy's sweat on his tongue, the memory still strong in his mind.

"I didn't want to," he answered, not knowing how to explain the complexity of his feelings at the time. He grabbed hold of the foot resting on his knee and massaged it lightly, digging his thumb into the arch.

Nick groaned appreciatively and prompted him to continue his story.

"'I have nothing else to say. Why? Does it bother you not to know?"

Nick shook his head, meeting his gaze easily. "You just surprised me a little, that's all."

Joe raised a doubtful eyebrow.

Nick laughed and it quickly turned into another groan of pleasure when the pads of Joe's fingers pinched at tangled muscles. "Okay, maybe not just a little surprised. I was plenty surprised and I was fucking angry, with a bit of disgust on the side. I wanted to pound your head into the pavement."

Joe winced and paused in his task when he heard a bitter edge in the boy's voice.

"I'm sorry." He seemed to be apologizing a lot tonight.

Nick nodded, accepting the long overdue apology.

"We were both to blame. I was too weak," Nick amended.

Joe opened his mouth to say something, but stopped at the shake of Nick's head.

"I've been thinking about it for the longest time now. At first, I blamed everything on you, but I knew it wasn't entirely your fault." Nick's fingers scratched at his cheek as he spoke. Joe noticed that he always scratched on the barely visible whisker-like scar.

Abruptly, Nick pulled away from Joe's touch, folding his legs in front of him and bringing his knees to his chest. He scoffed and buried his face inside his arms, hiding behind his knees.

"I think I wanted you to hurt me. I deserved to be punished..."

Joe strained to hear what the boy was muttering, his dark eyes widening at what he heard.

Slowly, he crawled beside the brunette, touching their sides together. The boy was silent for a long time and Joe waited patiently, watching flashes of lightning outside their windows.

"I killed my family."

Joe jumped at the voice, and then turned disbelieving eyes to the brunette head burrowed inside his arms.

Nick moved slowly, stretching his legs on the mattress and hunching down, looking at his moving fingers. Joe listened carefully, alerted by the boy's stiff shoulders. He felt Nick's quiet struggle with himself until he seemed to come to a decision.

"On my ei-eighth birthday..." Nick began. He cleared his throat, and then continued. His voice was distant. "My grandparents visited. I remember that my mom was so happy to see them. She hasn't seen her parents since we moved away while I was still a baby. I was excited, too. To finally meet them. They apologized that it took them so long. I said I didn't mind, that for their birthday the next year I would be big enough to visit them on my own. They just laughed and said they were proud to have such a spirited grandchild. I told them I'd do my best to be the greatest grandchild there ever was." He paused, licking his lips.

"That day, it snowed."

A haunted look came upon the boy's features. Joe looked at the pained hazel eyes and shaking hands and was amazed that, despite that, Nick's voice remained steady.

"I was impatient to get my present. My mom said I could choose any toy I wanted in the toy store. I began whining and everyone gave in, amused at my childishness. The snow wasn't heavy when we left, but it got worse as we drove on. I was sitting in between my mother and grandmother at the back. My father drove and my grandfather sat beside him."

Nick's voice wavered, hitching.

"The snow... We could hardly see anything. The truck came out of nowhere. It pushed us. We spun in the snow. Everyone was panicking, screaming. Our car drove over the rails, flying. I was lifted from my seat. And then we crashed down a steep hill. We kept rolling down. My dad was pushing on the breaks. We didn't stop."

Nick grew quiet, lost in his memories.

"A large tree stopped us, bending the hood, breaking the glass. Right before the impact, arms drew around me. It was my mom and grandmother. The car was going too fast; the impact killed everyone. My dad died instantly, and so did my grandfather. A branch through the window killed my grandmother. I found out later on that my mother died of internal bleeding.

"She was crying. Glass had flown into my cheek, and I was bleeding." Nick absently traced the light mark on his cheek. "She was crying because I was hurt and she didn't protect all of me. I told her I wasn't hurting anywhere.

"'Good,' she said and then she closed her eyes. I was still buckled into my seat. I kept crying because she wouldn't wake up. I kept shaking her. Shaking everybody. They were all asleep. So I curled up and went to sleep too. I slept surrounded by their corpses.

"There was a messy pile up. The snow had covered our tracks. By the time anyone found us, found me, it was dark."

Nick turned to him then, the same haunted look in his eyes, but there were no tears.

"M... May I touch you?" Joe asked, hesitant.

Nick froze, still caught in his memory, but his head nodded slowly.

Joe touched cold fingers, closing his warm hands over them and waiting until Nick moved to intertwine their fingers. All he wanted was to hold the teen, but he was afraid that Nick was too close to his memory of his mom holding him. Joe imagined it would not be as pleasant to the brunette as he intended. Instead, he tried to keep the boy talking. "What happened afterwards?"

Nick moved their joined hands, squeezing and then relaxing; feeling. Joe realized it was a way for the brunette to stay anchored in the present.

"The authorities quickly found out who we were. They called my aunt, my mom's sister, my grandparents' eldest daughter. I stayed in the hospital for three days until she came to get me. She arranged the funerals first and took care of other things before picking me up. I lived with them. Her and her family. She told me...

"She told me I wasn't blessed for surviving like everyone else was saying. I was cursed; I killed them and I was a monster. I grew up hearing those words. Once, when I was fourteen, I heard her crying to my uncle that I had my mother's eyes and that she couldn't stand looking at them, looking at me, anymore. They arranged an apartment for me. They visit once in a while due to the obligations they felt toward my mother. They usually come when I'm not around."

A heavy silence descended on the room. Joe felt chills run down his spine at those words, at the boy's story. He wasn't sure what to do. This was the most Nick had ever said about his life.

"I'm sorry," he whispered. The words sounded hollow to his ears.

"Me too," Nick whispered back, his voice breaking. Joe held him then. The other boy clung to him, heaving, but still no tears would come. Joe wondered if there had been tears for Nick since the day he had cried for his mother to wake up. He raked his fingers through Nick's hair, feeling the boy's warm breath on his neck.

They sat in silence. Nick held on to him. So he wouldn't fall back to the past, he said. Joe held onto Nick, keeping the boy close so he wouldn't fall back into his own past, either.

"I kept telling death to take me instead..."

Joe could only hold on tighter.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	17. Lulls

I get the feeling that you guys don't understand why their breaths get caught in their throats at the sound of their own names coming from the other's lips. Well, up until this point, they've ALWAYS called each other by their last names. Now, they're on a first name basis, and it's kind of like a display of their affection. Like taking it to the next level, I guess.

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><p>Chapter 17 — Lulls<p>

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><p>The morning of the last day was filled with group activities and silent contemplation. Last minute pictures were taken along with short walks of solitude.<p>

Just as they were about to leave, their counselor pulled out several small pieces of canvas, and then asked the group to dip their hands in colorful paints and press their handprints onto the white sheets. They were told the sheets were for them to keep.

"It's a reminder," she explained. "This is evidence of your existence. You exist, therefore you matter. At the risk of sounding cliché... I hope you find peace, love, and happiness."

The bus ride home seemed shorter than the one on the way to the center. Harsh afternoon sunlight conspiring with the smooth flow of traffic had rendered most of the students asleep. Nick sat quietly alone while Joe was asked to sit beside Zac to review a few details concerning the trip.

He had tried twice to fall asleep to no avail. Even the soothing roll of the wheels of the bus on paved ground was not enough to inspire sleep. He spent the ride gazing listlessly at the passing scenery. The bright sunlight stung his eyes.

He jumped when Joe returned to his seat beside him, surprising him out of his semi-daze. A concerned look passed over the boy's face as he slid closer to him.

"I thought you'd be asleep by now."

Nick returned his gaze outside the window. He felt the boy's body heat against his skin and his body suddenly relaxed. He was surprised to realize he had been tense prior the boy's arrival. "I couldn't sleep," he answered belatedly.

"We've only gotten three hours of sleep," Joe reminded him.

_No, _you've_ gotten only three hours of sleep_, Nick thought. _I haven't slept at all_.

He had lain with Joe spooned against his back with the boy's arm around his waist as he listened to the living breath and heartbeat of the other boy. Sleep never came. Even if it had, he wasn't sure he would have welcomed it.

He shrugged without looking away from the passing scenery, meaning nothing by the gesture.

"Nick..."

His breath caught at the sound of his name. Blinking in astonishment, he turned to meet the other boy's soft gaze.

"Thank you for telling me," Joe whispered.

A tiny flutter tickled his insides. He leaned his head on the soft surface of the seat's cushioned back. Joe had done the same and they stared at each other in stilled silence until a delighted smile tugged on Nick's lips before it reached his eyes. He exhaled slowly, tension and melancholy draining away completely.

"Thank you for listening."

"Anytime," Joe returned with a small smile of his own.

"Hmmm... You guys sure are friendly back here..."

Both boys jumped at the voice. Nick looked up just as Joe turned to greet the new arrivals. David leaned into the space of their seat and gave each of them a measuring look.

"You sounded pretty friendly last night, too."

Their eyes widened a fraction at the subtle teasing. Nick saw Joe's jaw clench and his eyes narrow as he himself prepared to challenge David's claim.

Just before he could voice his retort, Zac walked up behind the grinning boy. He rested a hand on David's shoulder and then slid it to the back of the boy's neck. It was an affectionate gesture, Nick noted.

"Please don't stand while the bus is moving, David," Zac requested.

"Yeah, Yeah. I gotcha. See you kids later." He winked, his voice growing louder from the quiet tone he had used to tease them with.

They watched as the pair walked away. Zac's hand remained on the scruff of other boy's neck and then gradually slid down his back until he removed it completely.

Joe turned to him; the surprised and amused expression on the handsome face mirrored his own.

"David and Zac?" Nick asked, disbelief lacing his voice.

Joe smirked. "It looks like it."

They chuckled together and spent the rest of the bus ride pointing out certain hints they had noticed that indicated the pair was together.

In the middle of their discussion, a stray thought prompted Nick to pause in contemplation. He hummed as he pieced his thoughts together.

"Nick, what is it?"

The sound of his name coming from Joe's lips still surprised him. Before he could get distracted, he shook his head to clear the curious fuzzy feeling away and shared his thoughts with Joe. "So, if we can see all these hints... Does that mean people can see those same hints when they look at us?"

Joe sat back, a pensive expression on his face. After a moment of thought, the other teen smirked. He lifted his hand, the index finger tracing Nick's cheekbones affectionately. "If they knew what to look for, I guess so."

A sudden rush of warmth curled in the pit of his stomach. Nick held the feeling down. It threatened to rise as Joe's finger moved to run across his bottom lip, pausing to press softly on its middle. The boy's eyes held his own in a heated gaze, licking his lips unconsciously.

"Yeah..." he agreed absently.

He saw Joe's face closing in as his own began to lean forward. He felt heady, completely out of his mind. He could already taste the boy's lips on his tongue. His heartbeat pulsed loudly in his ears as a scant centimeter separated their lips. He tilted his head to the side, feeling their breaths mingling. _Just a little bit closer_, his mind whispered.

Miley's voice came from so far away. "Hey, we're almost home! It's my flower shop!" Excitement and awakening rustles followed her giddy exclamation.

He saw Joe moving away, but didn't allow the boy to move further. He leaned forward and quickly captured the retreating lips with his. Joe gave a surprised gasp but pressed forward to return the kiss. They separated and sat back, pleased smiles painting their lips.

"Geez, we're like a pair of puppies in..." _Love_, his mind supplied. Nick coughed distractedly and cleared his throat. He turned back to the window and left the sentence unfinished.

The weight of Joe's curious stare was heavy on the back of his neck, but Nick continued to watch the traffic outside. Before he knew it, the school bus had pulled in front of their school and the excited voices broke past his hazy thoughts.

The group exited the bus in an orderly manner and eventually broke apart to begin their awaited trek home. A few parents and friends were waiting for some of his classmates and a few students gathered together to walk home.

"I'll walk you to your place," he offered suddenly, breaking the silence that had fallen between them. Joe quirked an eyebrow at him in question.

The ground suddenly looked very appealing to him as he looked down and kicked at some dirt.

"Umm... Never mind. I don't where that came from. I guess I'll see you tomorrow..." His eyes shifted from side to side underneath his dark eyelashes and saw almost everyone was gone.

"Sure. I'd like that."

He lifted his head at the understanding tone in Joe's voice.

"I don't want to say 'goodbye' yet either."

Nick cleared his throat and looked away into the distance, puzzled at the strange feelings running through him. He felt reluctant to part ways. As they began walking in the direction of Joe's home, he sifted through the odd feelings.

It had been a while since he had spent quite this long a time with anyone. Joe and he were rarely separated during the trip. He always found himself gravitating toward the boy and Joe would often show up after being away from him for a short duration of time.

"It's funny, isn't it?" Joe pondered out loud. "It's as if, I don't want to part just yet."

"Yeah," Nick agreed, seeing the mutual thoughts swimming in the boy's gaze.

Silence settled between them during the bus and train ride and the rest of the walk to Joe's home.

All too soon, they stopped in front of tall, intricately welded gates, and Nick realized they were in front of Joe's house. The mansion loomed in a short distance; he almost expected for suspicious clouds to hover over it.

Joe pushed open the side gates. The hinges screeched and echoed across the empty front yard.

"Are you walking me to the door, too?" Joe teased.

"Yup!" Nick cheered, grinning as he pulled the boy through the gates.

When they neared the house, he saw a brief flutter of curtains in one of the front windows. He was almost certain there was someone watching. A lazy wind blew past, stirring the metallic tails of the wind chimes. The sound seemed melancholy to his ears. Even the windows of the large house appeared downcast, like it held a heavy burden.

He walked Joe to the door as promised. They stood in front of each other on the front steps, his voice suddenly deserting him.

"Do you want to come in?" Joe ventured.

Nick shook his head regretfully, smiling to soften his decline of the offer. "I'm kind of tired, actually."

"Alright," Joe conceded. "I'll see you tomorrow then."

"Yeah."

"Rest well."

Silence descended once more, only interrupted by the distant traffic and dangling wind chimes. Nick adjusted the overnight bag on his shoulders, clueless as to how to end their eventful week.

"This is kind of awkward."

"This is kinda funny."

They spoke at the same time and laughed at themselves.

"I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah."

They waved their farewells. It was easier the second time.

* * *

><p>The grocery store's glass doors automatically slid open when he stepped in front of them. A variety of smells assaulted his nose immediately as he perused down the aisles of the produce section. He bagged a few fruits and some vegetables and moved on to grab some juice as well.<p>

Nick found himself relaxing in the busy environment. He watched the shoppers as they flitted from place to place, checking invisible shopping lists in their minds' eyes. Hard working parents stopped by to pick up that night's dinner. Kids his age carried their own baskets, looking around moodily. He assumed they were sent out to run an errand before they could come home from school. There were people dressed in business suits and women with painted faces and dangling jewelry. There were also those donned in worn away clothes usually the most comfortable to wear at home.

He didn't have to shop for groceries, his aunt did it for him, but when he came home from his trip, he found his cupboards and fridge bare. He actually enjoyed doing this for himself. He didn't quite understand why she still continued to do such things for him. She no longer had to. He was old enough to do it on his own.

"...Because of obligations, I guess," he thought out loud as he read the contents of a jar's label.

He grabbed a few cup ramen, a few other necessary food items, and then headed for the checkout lane.

As he passed by, he noticed how the light in the pharmacy section was so much brighter than in the produce section. A sign at the end of the aisle caught his attention. He looked from left to right as he weighed his options. Coming to a decision, he walked down the aisle and looked at the selection before choosing one of the items.

The short repetitive beeps sounded as each of his items was scanned. He could feel a slight flush covering his cheeks as the last item went into the bag. He paid for his purchases and stifled the urge to run from the place, feeling imaginary eyes on him.

* * *

><p>"I'm home!" Nick announced to the empty apartment as he closed the door after him. He kicked off his shoes and went to the kitchen with his bags of groceries. He grabbed a cup ramen and filled the kettle with water to heat. As the water took its time to boil, he put away the contents of his grocery bags.<p>

Having put away the food, he stared at the remaining item in the bag. Just as he moved to reach for it, the demanding whistle of the kettle drew his attention away. He quickly poured the boiling water into the cup and frowned at the three minute waiting time. He hated the necessary three minute wait.

Nick went back to the counter and grabbed the box out of the shopping bag. He tore the cardboard flap open and examined the tube inside. Without anyone around, he didn't mind the blush that covered his cheeks.

He set the tube down on the table as he retrieved his ramen and mixed it with his chopsticks. He felt that ramen had to be eaten with the traditional chopsticks, or else it was being eaten the wrong way. As he ate, he stared at the item intently as if it would bite him if he dared to look away.

"It's not like I'm a damn innocent saint or anything," he reasoned to the silent table and plastic spatula on top of said quiet table.

"I've done some things I never thought I would." Several encounters with a certain dark-haired boy danced around his mind.

"It's a necessity," he concluded even as he wondered who exactly he was trying to convince.

He grew silent and groaned as his cheeks burned.

"Man, it's just lube!"

His blush intensified.

"Why am I stressing over this?"

Releasing a frustrated sigh, he grabbed the tube and squeezed some out onto his finger. He smeared the clear gel on his fingertips and groaned at the sudden strong desire to use it.

Nick gulped and stared down at his crotch. Shaking his head to clear away the distraction, he placed the tube back on the table and finished his dinner.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie ;c[D<p>

(I dunno, after the end of the chapter, that smiley face just felt like it needed to be winking, and to have grown a mustache. And, what's a mustache without a nose to put it under?)


	18. Afterimage

Warning. This chapter has lots of amazing.

* * *

><p>Chapter 18 — Afterimage<p>

* * *

><p>He bowed his back at the moment of penetration, feeling himself stretched and filled. His arms shook, rendered too weak to carry his shuddering body. The hard shaft thrust in and out faster as moans flowed from his bruised lips. Long, capable fingers wrapped around his arousal as white hot pleasure enveloped him.<p>

"Ahhhhhh!"

Nick sat up quickly, brushing away sweat dampened bangs from his forehead. His body trembled as he rubbed at sleep-crusted eyes. The morning sunlight lit his hardwood floor while morning noises flowed in from outdoors.

He looked down his lap, at the straining sheets, and felt his erection throb when the dream came back to him.

"It felt so real..." he breathed, surreal amazement clouding his voice.

He plopped back down on the mattress, arms spread akimbo. Raising his head off the pillow, he looked again at the bulging tent in his sheets and groaned audibly.

"I need a really cold shower..." Nick muttered and pushed himself off the bed. "Like, arctic cold..."

Under the spray of the shower, his mind kept returning to the feeling of being filled as the strong body behind him thrust in and out over and over again. He thought of the familiar fingers that fisted his cock, just as his own hand slid down his wet body to wrap around his straining arousal.

He leaned against the tiled walls, muscles straining as he jerked himself off. His grunts and pants echoed in the small bathroom. He pumped in time with the thrusts in his memory and brought himself to a rushed completion. He watched his seed drain away with the soapy water as he finished bathing, his body exhausted.

* * *

><p>"Jones."<p>

"Jones."

"Nick!"

Joe's voice startled him out of his reverie; bringing him back to the sparse roof of the school.

He looked up at the other boy and moved away a little when he noticed how close they were sitting together.

Joe leaned forward to examine him and the fragrance of the boy assaulted his senses; bringing back his recent dreams.

_Has he always smelled so good?,_ Nick wondered.

"Are you alright?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. Just umm... Fine. What's up?"

Joe gave him a searching look but seemed to decide to let his inattention pass. "I was wondering if you wanted to see a movie together?" the other boy asked instead.

"A movie?"

Joe nodded as he moved back to his seat beside him; their backs rested against the safety rails along the edge of the school roof.

"Together... Like a date?" Nick inquired as he bit into his cream-filled roll. The sun-warmed cream filling squirted against his tongue and it suddenly reminded him of something entirely different. Swallowing it quickly, he reached for Joe's juice box to wash away the thick taste.

_Oh God, I can't stop thinking about it_, he thought, frowning in distaste as he scraped his tongue against his teeth and tried to focus on what the other boy was saying.

Joe grabbed for his juice box, chuckling at Nick's disgusted face.

"Yeah, sure. Whatever you want to call it. I just thought..." Joe shrugged, looking away.

Nick watched Joe pull on the fabric of his pants, a nervous habit the boy wasn't even aware he possessed. As he sipped at what remained of his drink, his hand came up to brush back the long, dark bangs, another nervous gesture. Nick grinned.

"Yeah, sure!" Nick agreed, his grin growing wider, white teeth flashing. "It'd be cool to hang out outside of school."

Joe looked at him, clear relief lessening the rigidness on his shoulders.

"Do you have a movie in mind?" Nick asked, brushing crumbs off his uniform pants.

Joe's thumb wiped the edge of his lip without warning, startling him as cool fingertips held his chin still.

He looked at the cream on the boy's thumb just as Joe brought it to his mouth and sucked on the digit.

"You should eat more healthfully," Joe advised, smirking.

The boy's voice was very distant to Nick's ears, ocean waves rivaling the loud beating of his heart as his hazel eyes focused on Joe's long fingers. Fingers that were then waving in front of his face trying to get his attention back.

"Huh?" was his smart reply.

"Are you alright, loser? You've been spacing out a lot lately," Joe asked, a worried frown creasing his features, despite the all-too-familiar pet name.

Nick pressed his thumb over the tiny crease between Joe's eyebrows, smoothing it out. He shook his head, reassuring the other boy that nothing was wrong. They talked about movies currently showing that interested them and then made plans to meet each other after the council meeting Joe had to attend.

During their conversation, Nick kept noticing little gestures that Joe made. Gestures that implied his moods, thoughts and feelings and that were unique only to him. It felt special somehow, that he noticed such things, things which were only really obvious after long exposure and only from a constant close proximity.

"We only have a couple more minutes before class."

Nick blinked away his musings, waiting for his mind to process what the other boy had just said. At last, it registered.

"Really?" He checked his watch. He couldn't believe how quickly time had passed. "Heh, you're right. You wanna head down already?" he asked as he began to push himself up, but was hindered by Joe's hand on his thigh.

"No, not yet," Joe murmured, leaning over him to push open his unbuttoned shirt collar.

Warm lips descended on his exposed neck. At the same time, Joe's fingers drew distracting patterns on his inner thigh. Tilting his head to the side, he allowed Joe's mouth more access.

Nick tangled his fingers in the boy's dark hair as a warm tongue caressed the skin over his throbbing vein. A rush of excitement quickly flowed throughout his body, ending up in his groin. He shifted in his seat as his pants grew tight. The boy's nearness and touch always produced such a reaction on his body.

A slight breeze blew by the rooftop bringing the boy's scent to him. It was a mixture of spice and winter air. It filled his lungs, making him heady.

The hand on his thigh slid forward to rub his crotch, sure and precise. He groaned as Joe palmed his erection through his pants, pressing just right to make him throb.

The dream came back to him suddenly and he flinched away from the boy's touch.

Joe moved his head away from his ministrations to look at him questioningly. "Nick?"

"I'm sorry. I'm okay... Just..." He exhaled heavily and shook his head to clear his mind. "It's nothing."

He brushed away Joe's hair from his face, brushing away the concern, and pulled the boy to him, bringing their lips together. The feel of the boy's lips against his sometimes felt rich and smooth as the sensation traveled down his stomach to warm his insides. He thought that that must be how it felt to swallow fire. Sometimes, though, Joe tasted as light as a fallen snowflake on the tip of his tongue.

He opened his mouth to Joe's probing tongue, moaning as it tangled with his, wet and eager. He opened his mouth further, accepting all of Joe. His hand began to roam over the other boy's firm body but stilled when the dream came back to him once again, clear and strong as ever.

Nick broke the kiss, tilting his head up to the sky; breathing deeply as the sun warmed his face. The memory of his dreams and the reality of Joe's kisses brought him to new heights.

"Joe..." he whispered to the sky.

Joe covered Nick's neck with kisses and nips, oblivious to the source of his distractions.

* * *

><p>He watched his friends' silly antics from his spot by the windows. Evan was telling everyone about an embarrassing moment that Matt had found himself in the other day that just screamed to be shared. The boy chuckled in between the words of his story while Miley and David held back a protesting Matt.<p>

Nick usually found himself in the middle of such enjoyable chaos, but he was too distracted at the moment to participate. He watched Demi clutch her stomach in laughter, tears of mirth beading on her long eyelashes. He couldn't speak to Demi without feeling like such a heel either. He groaned inwardly.

He chose instead to watch the unexpected rainfall outside, glancing at the group once in a while when they got loud and excited. They were waiting out the rain before heading over to the game and karaoke center. He had declined earlier but hadn't told them his reason why.

He looked away from the laughing cluster and watched the students below. Some had known it was going to rain and were safely dry under their colorful umbrellas. A few uncaring students walked leisurely as the water soaked through their hair and pressed uniforms. Some ran from one covered place to another, hoping to stay as dry as possible. It was an exercise in futility, he thought.

He had forgotten to bring his umbrella, but it was of little concern to his preoccupied mind at the moment.

His sadistic mind has been tossing him ideas and images all day. His senses had betrayed him so thoroughly that all he had heard, smelled, seen and tasted was Joe. His skin shivered at memories of the other boy's every touch—touches experienced, imagined, and dreamed.

"Stupid dream..." he mumbled petulantly as he stared at the light mist over the ground littered with puddles.

The rain grew weaker in its intensity until it was down to a mere drizzle. He heard the group begin to leave behind him, but didn't turn away from the window. He watched their reflections on the surface of the glass and waved when they called out to him. Demi's reflection was slowly approaching so he turned around to greet her.

"Hey."

She nodded her head, offering a small smile. "Are you sure you don't want to come? It won't be fun without you."

Nick grinned, a little flattered.

Demi and he hadn't gotten along at first back when they'd met. He'd had a crush on her. A false rumor had started, stating he had claimed that they were romantically involved. It hadn't amused her, and she'd hated him with an intensity that only a passionate girl like her could muster. However, once all parties involved were able to clear things up, they became friendly acquaintances... And if he allowed himself to accept that he wasn't quite the loner he thought he was... He could even admit that they had become friends.

"I'm sorry you will have to miss out on my great presence today, Demi," he apologized, teasing her by waggling his dark eyebrows.

"We will have to try harder to amuse ourselves, then." She sighed heavily, feigning disappointment.

They chuckled together, an air of friendliness between them. Resigned to his decision, she offered her umbrella to him and wouldn't allow him to refuse.

"Someone has to look out for you, Nick," she reasoned, leaving him in a flourish of long dark hair, a pleated skirt and a soft smile, missing his guilty expression completely.

Joe found him later, alone in the classroom, once more lost in his contemplations.

* * *

><p>The pressing darkness of the theater provided a comfort for the pair. They sat enjoying the movie, fingers occasionally brushing. They laughed at the funny moments and spoke quietly to each other whenever a thought itched at their minds.<p>

Nick sat back, glancing to his side to study Joe's profile as it was lit by the screen. He wondered at how much the dream had distracted him. He wasn't sure about what was truly bothering him. Joe's advances were suddenly triggering nervous energy, leaving him edgy. Was it because he bought the lube? He wondered. Was it because it felt like a solid acknowledgement that he was truly in a relationship? Or was it because of something even before that?

He sighed and decided all the pondering wasn't getting him any results save for a mild headache.

Nick was tempted to make like a typical horny teenager and make out with his friend, but felt what they had was still too private even for the dark confines of the movie room. He settled instead for holding the other boy's hand in his, softly brushing his thumb over the back of the boy's hand. He wasn't sure if Joe was disappointed or not since the boy seemed to thrive on such part exhibitionistic endeavors, but Joe merely brought their clasped hands to his lips and gave it a soft kiss.

He drowned out his thoughts by paying attention to the movie and the closeness of Joe.

* * *

><p>The walk to his apartment was quiet, almost serene. They were huddled underneath Demi's umbrella, each lost to his own thoughts. As they entered his apartment, they relieved themselves of wet shoes and socks, damp jackets and schoolbags. Nick went straight to the bathroom to get some towels, instructing Joe to feel at home and help himself to a drink or a snack, even though he knew Joe would be too polite to do so.<p>

He entered the kitchen carrying a small towel and saw Joe standing by the dinner table inspecting something in his hands. A forgotten memory suddenly leapt into the forefront of his mind. A rising panic began to climb up his throat just as Joe turned to face him, eyebrow raised, lube in hand.

Nick gave a nervous grin and a shrug then waited for the other boy's reaction.

"You bought one." The acceptance in Joe's voice surprised him a little, but managed to calm his unease.

Nick rubbed the back of his neck, shrugging.

Joe gave a shrug of his own, a tiny smile on his lips as he pocketed the tube.

Nick handed Joe the towel.

"You want a drink?" he offered, making a beeline for the fridge. He chose a can of soda for himself and Joe asked for bottled water.

Joe had opened the cupboards to get out a pair of glasses. Nick remembered the cookies he had bought the other day and placed a few on a plate.

They settled themselves on the sofa and flipped on the television. The volume was turned down, acting more as a background noise along with the rain outside than for viewing.

They discussed the movie, laughing at a few scenes. The director's attempt at a real plot was sadly overridden by the mass explosions and bad acting skills of its actors. Nevertheless, the movie was entertaining enough. At one point, Nick got up to get more cookies. He placed the plate down on the center table and then a comment Joe made had them laughing all over again.

Nick laughed along with Joe, his body shaking at the memory. He swatted playfully at the other boy, leaning forward. Joe moved out of the way, just out of his reach. Nick stepped forward to catch himself but slipped and fell toward the still snickering boy. He fell on the sofa, his upper body caught in the other boy's arms. They laughed further at his clumsiness.

Nick felt the boy's rumbling laugher shake against his chest, making his stomach twist in a pleasant manner. He grew quiet and watched the happy countenance on Joe's face, noting the curve of his lips, the way his cheeks turned up, and the way his dark eyes took on a lighter shade of the usual dark brown, looking gentler, less harsh and sharp.

Joe had noticed his silence and looked down at him, raising his eyebrows in question and then growing quiet as well as he caught sight of the boy's contemplative stare.

Nick lifted his hand to run it through Joe's hair, starting from the forehead and continuing to the nape of his neck, keeping his hand there. He felt a small excitement beginning in his insides, growing, expanding quickly. He felt a tiny tickle in his throat shortly after his breath hitched when the other boy's hand on his back pushed him closer. They stared into each other's eyes, both captives of the other's gaze.

"Nick..."

The brunette boy felt rather than heard his name uttered as Joe joined their lips. He breathed deeply, pressing closer. He closed his eyes and parted his mouth when Joe's tongue lapped at his bottom lip. Nick willingly allowed the intrusion.

It was intoxicating.

Everything had been leading to this, Nick suddenly realized as he opened his mouth further. The feel of the moist tongue inside him sent shivers down his spine.

It was a heady feeling, the warm sensation poured in his insides to curl around his heart.

This feeling, he thought, of falling perpetually in a spiral.

His other hand gripped at the boy's shirt sleeve, bunching the fabric. Joe's arms tightened around him, palms pressed flat against his back.

Their mouths moved against one another, sucking sounds and moans filling the air. Joe pulled him to straddle his thighs, bringing their groins close. They gasped as their clothed erections met and they ground against each other, hissing at the delicious friction.

Nick's hands slid up to hold Joe's head as he inhaled the boy's scent and greedily devoured the boy's taste. His fingers moved to tangle in the dark hair. He pushed Joe into the cushioned back of the couch, grinding their hips harder and drawing a long moan from the pale boy.

Joe's hand moved between them to quickly unbutton Nick's school shirt. The opened shirt was pushed over his shoulders and he moved his arms to let the shirt slip and fall to the floor. They parted from the kiss to breathe and pull his undershirt over his head.

Joe kissed Nick's shoulder. With his lips he traced a heated path from the shoulder to Nick's jaw line, down his neck and over the hollow of the throat. Joe nipped on the skin over his collar bone, licking it with a warm tongue.

Nick's body shook in anticipation.

He unbuttoned Joe's shirt, his clumsy fingers almost ripping the round plastic clasps from the fabric.

"Joe..." he moaned, pleading, as the boy suckled and bit his skin.

Joe moved lower to take Nick's nipple into his warm mouth and teased and laved at the erect flesh. The other hand played with the other nipple, squeezing and teasing it.

Nick growled in his throat and pressed his chest onto the boy's face, groaning at the pulling pleasure. The excited lips worried the nipple softly, then pulled away to lap patterns on Nick's naked skin, making him shiver and want.

He lifted Joe's face to his once more, feeling his heart constrict at the sweetness of their kisses.

"Bedroom..." Nick panted into their joined lips.

Joe nodded and Nick pulled away from his lap. The brunette stood on shaky legs and dragged Joe off the sofa.

They entered the bedroom in a tangle of arms. Joe pushed Nick against the closed door, fingers pulling at his belt loops and unbuttoning his pants, unzipping them while lips found his neck.

The long fabric of Nick's pants along with his boxers slid down his legs. He hissed as the fabric slid over his swollen erection. He stepped out of the pants and kicked them to the side.

Nick pressed up against Joe, feeling the boy's firm body and the door trapping him. He felt Joe's clothed erection pressing against his own and the excitement and slight rush between them curled his toes. Joe reached around him to grip his ass and press their erections together.

Nick thrust and rubbed against Joe, sending jolts of pleasure throughout both their bodies. Nick felt desire choke him and he moaned to voice his pleasure.

He tugged on Joe's pants, telling the boy without words to rid himself of the offending fabrics. He helped rip the clothes off and dropped them on the floor, but not before taking the lube from the pants pocket and tossing it on the bed.

Nick's hands roamed reverently over Joe's naked flesh, feeling silk over steel.

Their eyes met in mutual understanding.

Joe pulled Nick to the bed, pushing him to rest on his back.

Nick's stomach fluttered as Joe traced his body with dark, lust-filled eyes. Joe crawled over him, arms and knees supporting his body, hovering above. The boy parted his legs, settling between them.

Nick pulled Joe to rest on top of him fully, bringing their entire bodies together. He ground against the boy's hardened shaft, feeling the leaking seed smear on his quivering abdomen. They kissed heatedly, tongues joining, bodies grinding.

"Nick..." Joe panted, hot breath warming his ear. Their cheeks pressed together.

"I want..."

Nick shivered at the hunger in the boy's voice. He nodded his head, a hot flush covering his body. He wanted this as well. His body and mind screamed for it.

His fingers gripped Joe's back, noting how the skin was slick with sweat.

Their eyes met. In Joe's eyes, Nick saw a faint ripple of nervousness in the pools that were filled with anticipation. _Are you sure?_ those dark eyes seemed to ask.

"I want you," Nick breathed.

Joe nodded and reached for the tube of lubricant resting on the bottom of the bed. He sat up to kneel in between Nick's parted legs. He lowered his head to kiss down Nick's toned stomach, hands kneading the boy's thighs.

Nick felt Joe's hot breath brush the head of his leaking cock. Joe's tongue swiped at the pouring liquid, tasting him, and teased the tiny slit. Nick gripped the sheets, arching his hips off the mattress. He gritted his teeth as Joe continued to swirl his tongue on the head of his cock then lick along the swollen length.

Nick watched avidly, shivering as his breath caught. He cried out, bucking his hips upwards when his cock slipped inside the boy's warm and wet mouth. A slick tongue coated his shaft with saliva.

One of Joe's hands held his hips down while the other pumped the base of his cock. Joe sucked in time to the pumps of his fist. He sucked fiercely, moving his head up and down.

Nick felt the head of his cock slide against the inside of Joe's cheek and felt the tongue caress his throbbing erection. "So good, Joe..." he keened and writhed.

Nick buried his fingers into the boy's dark hair, gripping it as Joe's other hand pumped quicker. His moans filled the room as a ball of intense pleasure built at the base of his spine.

Joe's other hand left his hips to play with the sac of his balls, massaging it between his fingers.

Pleasure assaulted Nick from so many places. His body tingled in currents of electricity. Nick tossed his head left and right, thrusting his hips, fucking Joe's mouth.

Joe's continued to suck his hard dick while the hand left its base.

Nick heard the "click" of the cap of the lube opening.

Moments later a lubed finger traveled from Nick's inner thigh to his cheeks. His back arched off the bed as the fingers circled his opening, teasing the sensitive flesh. Joe mouthed his cock distractingly while a finger entered him slowly.

Nick hissed at the intrusion, gripping Joe's hair tighter. He tried to focus on the pleasure Joe's tongue was giving instead of the slight twinge of pain.

Joe pushed his finger in gradually and then moved it in and out of him slowly, getting him used to the feeling. It was a strange sensation. He could feel his inner muscles pushing against the digit. As he got used to it, he pushed on Joe's shoulders, indicating without words that he was ready to accept another.

A second finger joined the first, causing him to shut his eyes as he was stretched further. It didn't hurt, he told himself. It was tolerable. It only stung briefly and then died down to a dull ache before pleasure overrode the sensation.

Joe's fingers thrust in and out, slowly getting him used to this new feeling. He curved the fingers and Nick cried out as Joe found his prostate, reducing him into pants.

Nick pushed back on the fingers as Joe began to thrust in and out faster. He squeezed the boy's shoulder again, indicating he was ready.

Joe let Nick's cock slip from his mouth, moving up to cover his body and handed him the lube, fingers still fucking his ass.

With shaking fingers, Nick squeezed a great amount of lube onto his palms and reached for Joe's dripping cock where it lay between them. The boy hissed in pleasure as he coated the swollen shaft with lube. He stroked it briefly, the boy grunting in suppressed pleasure.

Nick kissed the boy's lips and gripped his shoulders. He spread his legs further apart.

Joe removed his fingers from within Nick to guide his cock into Nick's opening, watching him closely for any sign of discomfort.

Nick showered kisses all over Joe's face and neck as he felt the head of Joe's cock push against his opening. He tried to stay relaxed. His arms moved down to wrap around Joe's hips, kneading the boy's ass, encouraging him to move further.

He moaned as Joe entered him, stretching him and filling him. The dream did not compare to the reality, he thought. He felt rather than heard Joe's groan of pleasure above him as the thick shaft pushed into him slowly.

"So tight..." Joe panted, face buried into the brunette's neck. He pushed a little further. It felt like eternity until Nick felt Joe's balls touch his ass.

They panted, staying still. Joe's body shook against him, beads of sweat rolling down his naked back.

"How... How are you?" Joe's voice trembled as he shifted to rest his elbows beside Nick's head. The slight movement caused both boys to gasp.

"F-Fine... Move..." Nick gritted his teeth.

Joe pulled back slowly and gave a few experimentally shallow thrusts.

"Ahhh!"

Nick's back ground against the mattress as Joe pulled back and thrust into him. He ground back, meeting the short thrusts.

Nick pushed Joe's damp bangs away from his face, smiling up at the pale boy as their bodies ground together. It felt incredible, he thought.

Joe smiled down to him as his thrusts grew faster. He slammed his cock inside Nick, grunting laboriously. He shifted the angle of his thrusts and Nick cried out as his prostate was struck repeatedly. The onslaught of pleasure had him gripping his nails into Joe's slippery back as he squeezed Joe's cock inside him. Joe cried out and thrust faster.

Their gazes stayed locked onto each other as their bodies met every stroke; curls of pleasure built and built inside them.

Joe's hand slipped between their slick bodies to wrap trembling fingers around Nick's cock, stroking in time with each thrust.

Nick moaned long and loud at the added pleasure. He kissed Joe, moaning into their joined and open lips.

The brunette's seed leaked onto Joe's fingers as he pumped him. Time stilled and then ecstasy gripped Nick as he shot his cum all over Joe's hand and their stomachs.

"Ahhhhh!"

Nick's spine arched up, his head tilting back, pressing into the pillows as waves of intense pleasure flowed through him. His heart slammed against his ribcage as he screamed. His vision blurred and he shut his eyelids tight.

Above him, Joe continued to thrust into him, slamming into him and then shuddering in his own violent completion. Nick felt Joe's hot seed pulse inside him and then flow down his ass and thighs as Joe's cock thrust in and out a few more times.

Groaning, Joe collapsed on top of him, spent.

Nick held onto the boy, finding it difficult to breathe. Their slick chests slipped against each other as they fought for breath. A long while passed, their heavy breathing accompanied the silence.

Joe's hand drew lazy, comforting circles over Nick's sides as Nick pressed and kneaded on the crescent marks his nails left on the boy's back.

Joe sighed and pulled out of Nick, claiming the brunette's lips in a sated kiss. The boy moved off him but didn't release their lips. It was messy and wet, but still intense.

Nick's eyelids grew heavy and shut as sleep threatened to take him. He felt Joe get off the bed. A minute later, a wet cloth rubbed over his skin, gently cleaning the mess off. An arm slipped under his hips to pull him up and a dry towel was placed over the wet spot on the mattress. The next sensation he felt was of Joe's body beside his, pulling him close. He lay on his side, Joe spooning behind him. A blanket was pulled to cover them.

"Nick..." he heard Joe murmur. The ragged voice was so far away.

Nick covered Joe's hands that were pressed on his stomach, interlacing their fingers.

He allowed sleep to draw him in as Joe's legs tangled around his.

* * *

><p>Nick woke to the sound of running water. He opened his blurry eyes to see the bedroom door ajar. The spot beside him was empty but was still warm to the touch. Joe hadn't been gone long.<p>

He sat up, swinging his legs over the side of the bed and shivering as cold air assaulted his naked body. He stood, wincing at a slight ache. He walked to the door, stopping briefly to pick up his boxers and slip them on. He walked towards the bathroom and when he got there he met Joe in the hallway, clad also in only a pair of boxers, a glass of water in his hands.

"Hey," Nick greeted.

"Hi."

Joe closed the short distance between them and handed him the glass of water. He accepted it gratefully, downing it in a series of gulps. Sighing, he wiped his mouth against the back of his hand.

"What time is it?"

"Ten in the evening," Joe replied, taking the glass from him.

"What?" Nick exclaimed, suddenly realizing how dark it was. Only the lamp in his room and bathroom's light lit his apartment.

"Wait, what are you still doing here?" he asked dubiously.

Joe snorted. "Am I supposed to be somewhere else?"

Nick blinked at the boy.

"Ummm... At home?"

Joe only smiled, put the glass down on the floor, and pulled him close. He kissed Nick softly and then moved his lips lower to nuzzle the brunette boy's neck.

Nick brought his arms up to surround Joe's shoulders as the other boy tightened his hold around his slim waist.

They swayed back and forth on their feet, rocking slowly.

Joe showered Nick's neck with kisses, eyelashes tickling his skin.

"How are you?" Joe asked.

"I'm okay."

"Sore?"

Nick chuckled nervously, feeling a little disbelief that they were having this conversation.

He shook his head and rested it against Joe's. "Just a little."

Joe inhaled deeply. He kissed his way up Nick's jaw to press a long kiss on a soft cheek and then returned to rest his head on the brunette's shoulder.

"I've never imagined in all my life so far, that this would ever happen," Joe confessed.

Nick remained silent as Joe spoke, calmed by their embrace.

"I wouldn't even allow myself to dream that I would have a friend like you, least of all a..."

Nick embraced Joe tighter, hearing his own feelings and thoughts being spoken by the other's lips.

"Me too," he said softly. He traced down the other boy's spine with his fingers and rested his hand on the boy's hips, squeezing to comfort.

"Stay?" Nick bit his bottom lip anxiously. He had gotten used to sleeping beside Joe. It was strange since he had slept alone for a very long time and was used to it. The presence of the other boy changed that circumstance however, surprisingly bringing him calmer dreams. "I mean, I can understand if you can't. We have school tomorrow and your parents would be worried..."

"I'll stay."

Nick ceased his nervous rambling and sighed in relief. He pulled Joe with him back to the bedroom, opting to go back to sleep.

Joe picked their clothes up as Nick changed the bed sheets. The brunette teen spread the fresh blanket over the bed, pressing on air pockets.

He heard the other boy's footsteps approach just as Joe came up behind him to draw him to his chest. Joe kissed the back of his neck as roaming fingers tugged his boxers down.

"You want to shower?" Nick suggested.

Joe nodded behind him.

"Ummm... Together?" Nick continued, stifling a sudden urge to twiddle his fingers.

Joe chuckled.

"What?" Nick asked, turning in Joe's arms, a smile tugging at his lips.

"It's just... that..." Joe paused and met his eyes, hesitating for a moment before continuing. "I love you."

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	19. A Girl's Heart is: Part One

So, this is a three part deal... but I'm still gonna post each part in a separate chapter. You'd be kind of overwhelmed if I put it all in one...

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><p>Chapter 19 — A Girl's Heart is... Part One<p>

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><p>Silence held the room.<p>

Joe watched Nick's lips move without words. His eyes had widened considerably and his body stood still.

He did not doubt his words. He even felt such words were too small, too short to contain all that they implied. It was like trapping the entire universe inside a tiny and narrow bottle.

Joe waited patiently for Nick, feeling a sort of calm after the admittance. He loved the other boy.

He saw the curly-haired boy struggle for words, eyes bright with warring emotions.

Joe placed his index finger over the silently moving lips, stilling them.

He leaned forward, replacing the finger with his lips. Their lips touched, close enough to kiss. He kept his eyes open, noting Nick had closed his.

"You don't have to say anything," he said, his lips moving against the other boy's. "This is how I feel. This is how I feel for you, Nick."

He seized the other boy's lips fully, pouring all his emotion into the kiss. Nick embraced him, body shaking.

Minutes passed as they were both lost to the kiss. Joe pulled the boy to him, allowing no space to separate them.

They drew apart enough to be able to draw breath; puffs of warm breath caressed each other's cheeks and lips. Joe wanted to say so much more but could not find the words. Strings pulled at his heart, strung to the other boy.

Wordlessly, Nick pulled him in the direction of the bathroom. They bathed in silence, sharing brief kisses in between, under the spray of lukewarm water.

He stayed the night and in the morning, borrowed a set of Nick's uniform. They went to school together chatting like best friends.

_I suppose we are_, Joe thought as he listened to Nick talking while gesturing so animatedly. _He has become my closest friend._

Joe had made breakfast that morning, snickering as the brunette whined about not being allowed to eat his beloved ramen in the morning. He had thought back to his bleak mornings when he was in his house. Compared to mornings with Nick, he felt he could never go back.

"Good morning, Nick, Joe."

The soft greeting came from Selena, standing beside the bus stop. She held a small smile for them—always friendly.

"G'morning, Selena!" Nick greeted. Joe gave a short wave in greeting as they stood beside the bus stop as well.

In the distance, Joe saw Demi and Miley approaching. He had forgotten they took the same bus as Nick. Being best friends, the girls naturally lived close together.

He saw quite a few students from his school gathering around the bus stop. A few had run inside the café located in front of the stop for a quick breakfast.

Selena was digging around her bag, seeming anxious to show Nick something as they talked. Joe listened to them while he looked around. She held a pristine envelope in her hands and was about to hand it to Nick when the other girls called to them. She stuffed the envelope in her bag quickly and waved to the girls. Joe eyed the bag suspiciously.

"Eh? Joe! What are you doing in this stop?" He didn't acknowledge the question. It seemed unimportant to her how he was there, as long as he was.

Miley ran up to them, dragging Demi along who briefly looked up from her notes. She smiled, looking torn between deciding to study her notes and to converse with them.

Miley sighed, grabbing the notebook from the other girl's clutching hands.

"You'll do fine, Demi! Give it a rest! Joe is here, you know..."

Demi grabbed at her notes, cuddling them to her chest protectively. She perked up at the mention of his name, as if she had forgotten already that he was there.

She sidled up to his side, looking relieved.

"Joe, you took some advanced classes last term, didn't you?"

"Ah." He nodded, frowning a little that she had pushed Nick aside. The brunette didn't seem concerned as he continued to converse with Selena.

"Oh, thank goodness! This section has been slowly driving me insane all night! Can you help me, just a little?" She stuck her tongue out, asking bashfully.

He nodded and showed her how to deal with a few equations. She had a test that day so he helped her as much as he could throughout the bus ride. Miley had taken the seat beside him, also taking a few notes.

Joe's head was bowed down pointing at several notes, not daring to look up. Seats had filled quickly and Nick had opted to stand in front of him. One of the boy's legs was in between his bent knees, parting his legs. The heat from the boy's body was very distracting. He shivered, not due to the morning chill.

On the train, Nick and he stood side by side pressed close together by the people occupying the train car. The morning commuters had filled the train to its maximum capacity. The girls were seated away from them.

At one stop, the train halted too quickly, driving them to be squashed together as everyone tried to catch their balance. His arm had snaked out, catching Nick by the shoulders; preventing him from falling.

Nick had thanked him, saying something more—something that made his stomach flutter—with his eyes.

The group walked to school excitedly, joking and making plans for after school or the weekend.

David, Miley, Evan, and Matt joined them from their spot in front of the school gates, adding to the multiple conversations happening all at once.

Joe watched Nick. He couldn't help but watch. He always felt a certain awareness for the boy, but ever since the night before, he had become fully aware of every move the boy made.

A strong breeze blew past, extracting Nick's baby powder scent from the uniform he borrowed. He smiled to himself. He might not want to return the clothes to the other boy.

The group broke apart once they reached the classroom, sitting down in their designated desks as class begun.

A couple of minutes before the third period, Demi and Miley had cornered him at the halls, asking for one more review session before they had to take the "test of doom," according to them. He agreed and they claimed a section of the chemistry room to study.

The empty room was filled with his quiet tutoring and their excited exclamations as they began to understand the study material. Miley had clomped onto him once or twice at her excitement. Demi had looked thankful once they had to leave for their test. Miley left first, having forgotten something in her locker.

Joe was left with Demi in the sterile science room. Afternoon sunlight lit the room once the electric lights were turned off as they prepared to leave. The sunbeams gave ambience to the partly darkened room.

Demi halted in her steps in front of the door. He raised his eyebrow at her back when she squared her shoulders and turned to face him. A slight blush colored her cheeks, glowing red against her light skin.

"Joe..." Her voice quaked a little.

"Ummmm... Thank you... You didn't have to do this." Her hand tucked the hair in front of her face behind an ear—a nervous gesture.

"Actually... you never did this. You've changed—I think." She smiled, her blush intensifying as he watched her.

"It was nothing," he told her.

Her lips made a small "o," then she nodded, more to herself, it seemed.

"That is to say... ummm... you weren't bad... just... different, I guess. But no matter how you are, I've always liked you."

He wanted to say something to prevent her from saying anything else—from handing him her heart. A girl's heart is...

Her hands shaped into fists by her sides, lessening her nervous shaking. She met his gaze, determination lighting her eyes.

She was almost too quick as she leaned forward, lips a breath away from his. He stepped back quickly, his hands reflexively catching her shoulders and keeping her away.

A heavy silence fell, the realization of what almost happened settled in the pit of their stomachs.

"Demi..."

Her head was bowed, shaking back and forth.

"I..." She stepped away from him, releasing her shoulders from his grip.

"I shouldn't have done that. I... ummm... right." She gave him a watery smile.

"I have to go... My test..." She trailed off.

He nodded his head. "Try your best."

She stared at him for a silent moment.

"I just did."

He blinked.

"I'll see you." She left quickly, shutting the door behind her.

Once the sound of her running footsteps disappeared from the halls, he exhaled heavily and leaned his weight against a table. He looked at the clean bottles on a rack, the droplets from a leaking tap and the sunlight on the tiled floor.

Joe replayed the event over in his mind and realized that she acknowledged it wasn't the best course of action, but she hadn't apologized for attempting it. Shaking his head, he left the room to meet Nick in the library for study hall.

Nick was already there, nose buried in a textbook, scratching his head in thought.

Joe had looked around upon entering the library, listening for any sounds. As always, the old library was void of any other students. It was not popular to most of his peers. They preferred the newer one.

He took the seat beside the other boy, pulling the boy's head away from the textbook and locking the surprised lips with his.

Nick froze momentarily and then the lips became pliant under his, opening to the coercion of his demanding tongue.

Joe kissed Nick with the kiss Demi had almost stolen.

When they parted, Nick's eyes were glazed, tongue licking his lips unconsciously.

"Hey."

"Hi." His fingers stroked the nape of the boy's neck affectionately.

"What are you studying?"

Nick pulled their chairs closer together, leaning against his side. Joe wound his arms around the boy's shoulders, peering into the book.

"Something for the next class." The boy pointed to several paragraphs of history and grew quiet as he returned to reading the text.

Joe looked down at the bowed head. He felt the boy's bony shoulders beneath his arm, his hand massaging the shoulder where his fingers rested. He watched Nick's lips move as he read in his head, eyelashes opening and closing at intervals.

_It feels so normal—sitting here like this_, Joe thought.

His other hand moved to unclasp the first few buttons on the boy's shirt; Nick kept reading.

Joe parted the opened shirt and looked at the red mark on the boy's chest. He knew there were several more at certain places on Nick's body. He snuck his hand inside the shirt, caressing the bruised skin.

Nick's hand covered his, stopping the movement of his hand.

"You're distracting me. I'm trying to study."

"_Trying_ being the operative word," Joe murmured into the boy's hair.

"Yeah,_ trying._ It's sorta difficult when you're doing that."

"You stopped studying the minute I got here," he whispered huskily, tracing the shell of the boy's ear with the tip of his tongue.

He felt Nick shiver.

"You're not _that_ distracting..." Nick smirked.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," the boy said, looking down at his book once more.

Joe watched the boy for a couple of minutes, smirking as he thumbed the boy's nipple through the undershirt.

"I thought I wasn't that distracting."

"You're not," Nick said, eyes remaining on the page.

Joe squeezed the nipple and released it, repeating the action twice more.

Nick groaned, his hand fisting on Joe's thigh, gripping the pants' fabric.

Joe laughed softly against the boy's ear. "Then how come you haven't turned the page for five minutes now?"

Nick paused and looked at him. "I'm a slow reader," he answered dryly.

Joe chuckled and closed the book with a resounding "thud."

Nick only shook his head and tried to re-open the book, but Joe would not lift his hand off the cover. Joe shoved the book away, too far for Nick to reach without having to stand.

"I needed to read that."

"No, not at the moment," Joe decided, smirking smugly.

"Pretty sure of yourself, huh?"

Joe nodded vigorously.

Nick chuckled and donned a mock serious expression.

"Well, you're right, class president. So, now that you have my undivided attention, what would you have me do?"

Joe smirked and brought Nick's hand on his thigh to cover his groin.

"Jerk me off."

Nick smiled, pecked his cheek and then brought their foreheads together.

He watched as Nick unclasped his pants, sliding the zipper down one tooth at a time.

Nick reached inside to pull out his semi-erect dick. The boy bowed down to slip the swelling flesh into his mouth, coating it with his spit.

Joe hissed as the warmth surrounded him and groaned when Nick's lips retreated.

They watched as Nick's hand stroked him to full hardness. He panted, watching the boy's face, veiled in concentration.

"We do this so easily..." he told Nick.

"Mm."

The other boy quickened the strokes, Joe's hips bucking at the building heat within him.

They watched Nick's hand work, thumb smearing the cum leaking from the slit on the head of his cock.

Joe spread his legs, thrusting into Nick's fist.

His arm wound around the boy's shoulder's; squeezed Nick close.

Joe panted, a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. He grunted under his breath.

"I'm close..." he warned.

Nick only nodded, his breath heavy as well.

Joe looked down at the boy's lap to find the cloth bulging, indicating the boy's arousal.

His vision had grown blurry, the pleasure languidly swimming throughout his veins. His head lolled back, eyes shutting close.

"Ahh!" His eyes opened wide as Nick took him into his mouth, sucking and lapping at the throbbing cock.

"Oh, fuck!" He gasped and thrust into the warm mouth.

"Nnnnaah!" He came quickly, filling Nick's mouth with his hot cum. His body convulsed as pulse after pulse of cum and pleasure exploded from his body.

Joe panted for breath, his vision slowly clearing to see the patterned ceiling of the library. Lolling his head forward, he found Nick watching him, breathing deeply and wiping his chin.

"Nick..."

Nick leaned forward, tucking him back in and zipping his pants closed. Joe hissed at the touch on his still sensitive flesh.

He sluggishly reached for Nick's groin but the boy pulled him into a fierce hug instead.

Joe held the boy to him, his fingers raking through the curly hair. They remained in the fierce embrace until the bell rang for the fourth class, only unraveling at the last shrill ring.

* * *

><p>Joe wiped the boards while Nick straightened the desks. His council meeting had ended early, allowing him to help Nick with his clean-up duty. The boy's elusive clean-up partner had disappeared yet again, leaving the work to Nick.<p>

"One of these days, I'm going to give him clean-up duty by himself," Joe grumbled.

Nick pushed the last desk into place.

"It's okay, really. I don't mind. Besides, he couldn't clean up if his life depended on it." Nick chuckled.

Joe picked up a pencil from the teacher's desk to start the class log, jotting down the absences.

He was about to confirm with Nick something regarding one of their classmate's attendance when the door slammed open causing them to jump in their place.

Their heads swiveled to the door to find Demi, angry accusing eyes set on Nick. Behind her stood an equally angry Miley, and a nervous looking Selena was in their trail.

"Nick! I'm sorry! I was going to give them to you, but Demi saw them!" Selena exclaimed; her voice shook ominously.

"Huh? Demi... Miley. Selena, what are you talking about?" Nick looked back and forth between the trio, frowning in confusion.

Demi stepped into the room, headed for Nick. She flashed a photograph in front of him, close enough for Joe to see.

"She's talking about this, you traitor!"

Joe and Nick's breath caught, attention focused on a photograph of them during the retreat, foreheads resting together, lips almost touching.

"You lied to me! You fucking lied to me!" Demi's voice screamed; tears streaked down her cheeks.

Nick's face paled.

Joe drew his hands into fists.

A girl's heart is... fragile.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	20. A Girl's Heart is: Part Two

Chapter 20 — A Girl's Heart is... Part Two

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><p>The silence in the room was absolute as the photograph fluttered to the ground, sliding right side up mockingly. Nick stared down at the picture. It was a nice shot. He would have cherished it.<p>

Demi stepped on the picture, twisting her feet. The soles of her shoes ground against the thin sheet, dirtying their faces.

Her hands shot up suddenly. One grabbed Nick's shirt and the other gripped his arm. Her face twisted in an angry frown. Tears swelled in her eyes and spilled over, getting caught in her long eyelashes. A harsh snarl was painted on her lips as she spat seething, angry words of betrayal and heartbreak to him. Her nails dug into his arm, breaking the skin, but Nick did not push her away. She deserved to vent her frustrations; she deserved to defend her broken heart.

She raised her hand in the air suddenly, and Nick braced himself for the oncoming pain. His cheek felt the sting before her palms even slapped his flesh. He kept his eyes open, accepting her anger.

"Demi!" Joe warned.

"Demi!"

"Demi—!"

Selena ran between Nick and Demi, beating Joe by a second. She dislodged Demi's hand from Nick's arm and held onto it firmly. Her eyes pleaded with the girl as they shone with unshed tears.

"Please Demi, it's not Nick's fault!"

Demi looked down at Selena, her eyes narrowing and a sneer cutting across her pretty face.

"Why are you defending him? You liked Nick, didn't you? Why are you letting him break your heart?"

Nick stepped back, surprised hazel eyes staring at the dark-haired girl. Selena didn't turn to face him, just held onto Demi's hand.

"Selena! Say something! Doesn't it hurt you to find out he's been lying to you? Smiling at you, but really laughing at your ignorance?" the girl yelled snidely.

Selena's shoulders hunched at every word as if she was being struck physically. Her head lowered in such a piteous way that Nick wanted to reach out to her, to reassure her that it wasn't at all as Demi described.

_No, that's not how it was_, his mind protested. _I never wanted you to find out this way!_

But Nick couldn't say anything. His words were silenced by the disgust in Demi's eyes; by the betrayed look on Miley's face and the quiet sniffles coming from Selena. Nick had not dared to look at Joe; he kept his gaze trained on Demi instead. She deserved his undivided attention.

"Why, Nick? We were friends, weren't we?"

"We still are, Demi—" Nick beseeched.

"Then how could you do this to me?" she accused.

"It's not his fault!" Selena interrupted as she shoved Demi away.

Demi stumbled against a desk. Its legs scraped against the floor, screeching in protest. She stared, dumbfounded, at Selena. The usually gentle girl's voice broke as she repeated over and over that Nick was not to blame.

They all stared at Selena as the tension and her pain-filled sobs choked the air.

"You asked me how I could let him break my heart, Demi?" Selena sniffed. "It's because I saw how happy he was. If he is happy, then I'm happy. You were always so ignorant of his sadness. You didn't look twice at his smile. Those smiles were heartbreaking!"

Demi stepped back, paling.

Selena turned around to face the brunette boy and met his eyes as her brave tears flowed down her porcelain-like face. "I like Nick. If he's happy being with someone, even if that person isn't me... Then I don't mind," she told the room—told him—with a soft smile on her face, despite the tears.

She looked back at Demi, smiling sadly. "Demi, can you say the same thing to Joe?" Time stilled as the air throbbed like the blood in their veins, making them shuffle their feet anxiously.

Nick felt torn. He had hurt Demi and Miley... And Selena. He felt at fault for all their pain.

_I never intended for this to happen,_ he thought, feeling anguished as he clenched his hands by his side into fists. His nails dug into the thin skin of his palms, impressing small crescent-like marks.

He saw Joe move out of the corner of his eye and then the boy was suddenly beside him. "We have a classroom to clean. You girls should go home," Joe told the girls, his voice a crisp iciness slicing the thick tension that had gathered.

"You owe us an explanation, Joe!" Demi protested.

"This—our relationship—is none of your business, Demi. It doesn't concern you," Joe said dismissively, casually crouching down to lift the picture off the floor.

"I think it_ is_ our business when it's _our_ hearts that are being played!"

Nick watched Joe rise and meet her eyes, obvious annoyance stiffening the class president's shoulders. "I was never involved with you, Demi. You knew I was never interested. It's your own fault for forming expectations."

Nick was surprised at the venom in Joe's voice. The other boy stood in front of him, shielding him from Demi's glare.

"Don't blame Nick. I pursued him. If you want someone to blame, then that would be me."

"...I could never..." Demi seemed to shrink into herself, rendered weak by Joe's anger.

"This isn't going anywhere." Miley walked up to Demi, pulling her away from them steadily.

"No! Leave me alone!" Demi protested. She twisted out of Miley's grasp and ran out of the room. Miley went after her, glancing back at them with confused eyes for a moment before running to catch up with the upset girl.

Selena shuffled her feet and whispered a soft apology. She placed a crisped envelope on top of one of the desks and left quietly, wiping her sleeves across her closed eyes.

"I'm happy for you both. I'm sorry I caused such a dispute," she whispered as she stepped out of the classroom.

Nick played with the buttons of his shirt, flinching when Joe put a concerned hand on his shoulder. His posture relaxed immediately as he realized that Demi was gone and that she hadn't hit him.

_She should_ _have_, he thought.

"You were cold to her," he observed out loud, looking up to Joe.

"It really was none of her business," Joe reasoned, placing gentle fingers around the tiny wounds Demi had etched on Nick's arm.

"But..."

"I know. I'm sorry. I messed things up."

Nick shook his head in negation. "In a moment, everything happened too quickly. We weren't thinking. None of us."

Nick walked to the desk, lifting the envelope from its surface. Sparing it with only a curious glance, he pocketed the envelope.

"Let's finish cleaning up then go home," Nick said as he gestured to the untidy room.

Joe nodded and they finished the rest of the chores in tense silence.

They walked home together and Joe insisted that he came over to Nick's apartment.

Despite wanting to be alone, Nick was glad Joe had stayed with him. He went through the motions of preparing them a simple meal, allowing Joe to help a little.

After dinner, they fell messily onto the sofa, curled up under a blanket. Nick allowed Joe to reassure him with soft words and sincere touches.

"I should have told them sooner," Nick said, reprimanding himself yet again.

Joe lay partly on top of Nick, his chin resting on the brunette's chest. He sighed audibly, breath ruffling the bangs hanging over his forehead before kissing Nick's fingertips one by one, distracting him enough to pull him away from his thoughts of self-pity.

"Demi tried to kiss me today," Joe said in a tone that was that of someone discussing the weather.

"What?" Nick moved to sit up but Joe pressed him back down.

"She confessed she liked me and tried to kiss me... Before she lost her nerve, I think."

Nick lifted his arm to cover his eyes and groaned. "Joe, they don't deserve this."

"No one does, Nick. And you can stop blaming yourself, too. We can't change what has happened in the past."

"But we can change the future."

Joe pulled Nick's arm away from his eyes, moving up against Nick's body so their faces were level with each other. "I won't let you go, Nick," he said, voice steady and uncompromising.

"I didn't mean—"

Joe kissed him, rough and demanding. Nick kissed the boy back just as fiercely. He poured all the misery he felt at the situation into that kiss and exchanged it for comfort. He tangled his fingers into the boy's hair, only separating their lips when his lungs burned for air.

"Demi, she..."

"Let it go for now. You'll only give yourself a headache." Joe kissed his lips once more, then got off the couch and looked down at him regretfully. "I have to go."

Nick understood and walked Joe to the door. The other boy hadn't gone home the night before, nor had he called his parents to tell them where he was.

They stood before the entrance, both reluctant to part. Joe drew close, brought their foreheads together, and draped his arms around Nick's hips. Nick exhaled deeply and gave the other boy a chaste kiss. Anything more, and he was sure he'd ask Joe to stay longer. He was also fairly sure that Joe would say yes.

"See you tomorrow," he said instead.

Joe nodded, kissed him once more, and then left.

Nick leaned his back against the closed door, sliding down to sit with his legs stretched out in front of him. His apartment felt empty all of a sudden.

_I should feel helpless_, he thought deprecatingly, but he was never one to turn to misery to avoid the complications in his life.

"Fine. I'll fix this. I won't let it defeat me," he decided optimistically, saying it out loud to strengthen his conviction.

Taking a cleansing breath, he pushed himself off the floor and grabbed his school bag to get some homework done. He threw himself into the work, exchanging bitter thoughts for numerical equations and guilt for paragraphs in an essay. Midnight came and he allowed sleep to beckon him to bed with a lighter heart.

* * *

><p>The next four days were spent being ignored by Demi. The green-eyed girl wouldn't risk breaking her perfect attendance, so she chose to avoid Nick instead. Miley stayed at home.<p>

By the fifth day, Nick had accepted that the girls wanted to be left alone. His countless attempts at apologizing were met with nothing but ill contempt.

"They will come around, Nick," a voice said, breaking through his worry-filled contemplations.

Most of the students had remained indoors for lunch that day. Even the roof was vacant due to an unexpected rainfall. Nick looked away from the wet outdoors. Joe sat on his desk, revising a form needed for a council event.

"Hopefully. Sometime soon would be rather nice." Nick sighed.

Plopping down and straddling the seat in front of the desk Joe occupied, he rested his cheek on the boy's desk.

He watched the sweeping movements of Joe's hand as the boy wrote. With his ear against the desk's surface, he could hear the scratches the pen made at every sweep of Joe's hand. A brain cell not too concerned about his current dilemma noted that the boy had better penmanship than his own chicken scratch. Focusing his anger on the brain cell, he banged his head against the wooden surface of the desk, hopefully destroying the traitor.

He listened to the mild chatter around them, the muted rain behind the glass window and the pen scratching.

He looked up at Joe. The boy's bangs fell into his face, his features set in concentration. He felt the slight warmth of the boy's breath travel across the air between them and caress his cheek. It smelled like candy.

"You have candy?"

Joe's eyes momentarily widened in surprise as if he had forgotten Nick was there. Smiling, he nodded and opened his mouth, showing the square hard candy on his tongue.

Nick's eyelids grew heavy as the brain cells that had been contemplating his dilemma suddenly found a better thing to think about. He smirked up at the other boy.

"Aren't you going to offer me some, Jonas? That would be the polite thing to do."

Joe closed his mouth and smirked down at him. He stood, grabbed the sheet off the desk and began walking toward the classroom door.

"Help me make copies," he ordered softly.

Nick wanted to laugh at the lame excuse, but he figured it didn't really matter. He followed the class president out of the room, uncaring of the lingering eyes on their retreating backs.

Joe led them to the small office at the end of the hall. It housed several shelves of school supplies, a computer terminal, and the copying machine. A small window provided little lighting with the electric lights off.

Nick looked around the room, his attention grabbed by the abundance of stuff.

Joe lifted the lid of the copying machine, placed the sheet on the lit surface, closed the lid, and then set a few instructions. The machine hummed into life, quickly making copies.

"Lock the door."

"Hmm? I thought—" Nick snapped his mouth shut and did as he was told as he caught sight of the hungry glance Joe threw at him.

Joe fished for another hard candy from the roll in his pocket and popped it into his mouth. He leaned against the large machine and opened his mouth to show Nick the sweet confection.

Needing no further invitation, Nick strode quickly to Joe and was pulled into waiting arms. Joe readily accepted his lips and tongue when Nick got close enough to kiss the boy. He reached for the candy from the boy's mouth and rolled it around his tongue without ever unlocking their lips.

Nick moaned into the kiss, tasting the artificial cherry flavor. He sucked at Joe's tongue, sharing the hard candy with the other boy.

He closed his eyes, feeling Joe's hands travel down his back to squeeze his ass, grinding their groins closer together. His own arms drew around Joe's shoulders, fingers buried in the soft dark hair.

Nick gasped for breath, feeling the thin remains of the candy on his tongue.

The machine beeped to indicate the copied pages were finished. Nick eyed the thick stash of paper, wondering how much time had passed.

Joe kissed his face with sticky, cherry scented lips, running hands up and down his sides.

"Feeling better?" Joe murmured in his ear.

Nick shifted in Joe's arms and sagged against him. "Yeah..."

"They will come around, Nick. If they don't, then they're not worth it."

_Maybe I'm the one not worth it—not worthy enough of their friendship_, Nick thought, but he did not voice his uncertainties out loud. He figured they were just a remnant of his pathetic, self-induced pity. Joe tightened his hold on him briefly, as if knowing what he was thinking it anyway. It always surprised him how much Joe understood him, although it really shouldn't, since they were quite similar in a lot of ways.

After a few more candy flavored kisses, they went back to class. Nick felt a decent amount better.

He caught a glimpse of Joe's red tongue as the class president spoke to a few students and knew his own tongue must be tinged red as well. The thought was a good one. Nick leaned back into his chair, staring at the ceiling. _Everything will be alright_, he reassured himself.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	21. A Girl's Heart is: Part Three

Maybe I should just stop warning you. You know, leave the element of surprise to come and take you hostage. But, for now, I feel obligated. So. Yeah. Consider yourself warned. ;)

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><p>Chapter 21 — A Girl's Heart is... Part Three<p>

* * *

><p>"Nnnnn... Saturdays are the bestest..." Joe moaned.<p>

Nick snickered against Joe's chest as he teased an erect nipple between his lips. The boy lay shirtless beneath him, panting and writhing at every swirl of his tongue and pull of his mouth. He arched against the hand cupping his groin, tossing his head back onto the soft pillow as gasps and moans flowed from moist lips.

Joe's fingers dug into Nick's mussed brown curls, pulling him up for a hungry kiss.

"Nick..." Joe half-begged, spreading his legs as the brunette settled his body between them.

Nick ground their hips together in a slow, deliberate motion, letting Joe feel every sensation the friction caused. Joe panted into their kiss, opening his mouth wider as he spread his legs further apart.

"Jones, if you... Ahhh! Don't do something right now... I'm going to explode." Joe breathed.

The boy's uncanny ability to merge begging and threatening in one sentence never failed to amuse Nick. He squeezed the boy through his pants, telling him without words to be patient.

As Nick's tongue and lips drew a wet path down Joe's quivering abdomen, he heard a distant knocking. Focused intently on his task, Nick quickly forgot about it until another series of knocks came, this time a little louder. He abandoned the toned abs for a moment and sat up to look toward the open bedroom door, listening attentively.

"Why'd you stop?" He heard Joe utter breathlessly, his tone expressing his displeasure at the pause of ministrations. "Nick, what is it?"

Nick shushed Joe and listened some more. "Do you hear that?"

Joe paused to listen. "It's probably for your neighbors."

"No, it's coming from my door."

"Expecting company?"

Nick shook his head thoughtfully. "Not that I'm aware of..."

"C'mon, forget it. They'll go away..." Nick felt Joe tugging him back down, but instead of returning to continue his task, he bent to give Joe a chaste kiss before getting off the bed and walking out of the bedroom. Behind him, he heard Joe groan in dismay.

Nick padded through the living room on bare feet. Once he stood in front of the entrance door, he peered through the peep hole to check who his visitor was. He stepped back from his door suddenly, puzzled at who he saw stood waiting at the other side.

Nick took a deep breath and opened the door slowly.

Demi stood in the hallway, looking nervous and ready to flee at any given moment. Two entire weeks had passed since she had confronted them about his and Joe's relationship. Two weeks of ignoring his existence. Two weeks of ineffective apologizing. Although he felt like a fool after every rejection, he had yet to give up. Now she stood in front of him nervously and glanced back and forth between him and the floor.

"Demi?"

He detected a faint blush on her cheeks when she looked up to acknowledge his question and he suddenly remembered his state of undress. He was shirtless, chest gleaming with sweat under the dim hallway lights, jeans unbuttoned and brown hair mussed chaotically. He prayed to God his jeans weren't bulging from his half-hard cock.

"Umm, let me grab a shirt."

"Oh, no! That's not necessary. I must have woken you up. I'm sorry to have bothered you..." She was stuttering profusely and her eyes tried to look anywhere but in his direction. She started to back away, but he quickly halted her retreat, stepping forward.

"Uhh... No! Umm... You didn't wake me. I was awake..." he explained.

He looked at her, wondering why it was a strange sight to see her in the narrow hallway, when realization struck. "Hey, how did you know where I live?"

She blinked up at him in surprise, perhaps not anticipating the question. She coughed embarrassedly and tried to smile.

"I ah... I asked Mr. Davis. I told him I needed to give you something. I lied... Well, it's not really a lie since I sorta do have to give you something..." Her restless hand tugged at her shirt nervously.

"To give me something?" he asked, managing to bring her back to focus.

She nodded and clasped her hands behind her back to hide their shaking.

"Isn't it funny?" she said, changing the subject a little—stalling. "I've always known you lived alone, but this is the first time I've been here. It looks nice. It's quiet..."

She allowed silence to reign for a moment before deciding to come to the point of her visit. "I... Actually, I wanted to talk to you." She bit her bottom lip and lowered her eyes to the floor again.

Nick furrowed his eyebrows, pondering her purpose for visiting. He looked around and realized they couldn't talk in the hallway, but he couldn't have her come in either. It would be too uncomfortable with Joe inside, he thought. He looked toward his living room and then turned back to her.

"Umm, let me grab a shirt. Let's go for a walk."

She looked puzzled for a moment and he hoped that she didn't ask why she couldn't come in instead. It seemed that she wanted to ask, but she remained silent, much to his relief. Demi nodded her head and he closed the door softly behind him, leaving her outside.

He strode back to the bedroom quickly and groaned at the sight of the other boy sprawled on his bed, ignorant of how enticing he looked, flipping through one of his books. For a moment, he had forgotten what he came there for.

"Who was it?" Joe asked, leaning further onto the mattress and putting away the book.

Nick grabbed the first shirt he could reach, which happened to be Joe's, and pulled it on. He buttoned his pants and grabbed a pair of socks from his drawer.

"It's Demi. We're going for a walk," Nick explained as he sat on the edge of the bed to pull his socks on.

"What is she doing here?"

Nick noted the slight twinge of resentment in the other boy's voice. Joe had disapproved of Nick spending so much time and energy on trying to apologize to Demi. He had nothing to apologize for, Joe had said.

"She wants to talk."

Joe looked unconvinced. "To talk or to apologize?"

"I don't know, so I'm going to find out."

"You want me to leave instead? There's no need to go out." Joe began to move off the bed, but Nick pushed him back down.

"No, you stay here. It shouldn't take long. Besides, I'm not comfortable with her in here."

Joe seemed to understand, and agreed. Nick leaned down and gave Joe a heated parting kiss before pulling away reluctantly. "I won't be long."

Joe nodded and made himself comfortable on the bed. He ran his hand down his exposed chest, throwing a lust-filled glance at Nick. "Remember, you have to finish something."

Nick sighed longingly and nodded. "Damn. She always had bad timing."

He left the room quickly before he decided to ditch Demi and follow up on his original plans of making the other boy beg him for release instead.

* * *

><p>They strolled down the silent streets and eventually wandered into a nearby park. Finding a vacant bench, they claimed it and sat at opposite ends. They hadn't said much during the short walk and still they remained silent.<p>

Kids ran around the park with careless smiles on their faces, looking too young to worry about responsibility or burdens. Hazel eyes passing over the lively group, Nick spotted a young figure, watching the cluster of kids from afar, raw loneliness on his face. He corrected his earlier introspection. _No_, he thought, _this burden affects everyone... Both the young and old._ He felt a sudden pang of sadness then and he recalled too late that he hated parks.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

He cringed at her tone of voice and resigned himself to the fact that there was no avoiding the questions. "I wanted to, but I didn't even know what was happening myself."

"You just kept us blind from it..." Her voice transformed from soft to frantic in a matter of moments. She seemed to have not heard him, like she was speaking her thoughts out loud. He now knew why she had been silent for so long: she had been seething.

"We acted like fools! You must have had a laugh. A very long and satisfying laugh," she accused. "What... What sort of friend does that?"

"Demi, I never laughed. I'd never think of it."

"Did you even think about us? I keep thinking back to all those times. Since when, Nick? Did you think it was funny? How long were you planning on keeping this to yourself? How long until you couldn't take our idiocy anymore, and just laughed in our faces?" Her questions and accusations flew at him, merciless and pain-filled. He drew his hands into a fists, confusion and frustration clouding his mind and rendering him mute.

"Well it wasn't funny, Nick!" she continued. "Do you know how long I've loved Joe? Too long! All these years I've only looked at him. Only him! And you stole him and betrayed our friendship... And for him to do that to us too... It's just sick! I bet you he gets off on it—"

"No! Don't bring Joe into this! This is between you and me!" Nick interrupted her mindless ranting. He suspected that she had stopped thinking a long time ago and that she was saying whatever came to mind as she spoke all the thoughts that had haunted her for two weeks.

She stared at him with a wide, watery gaze and he saw how exhausted she looked then. Dark circles shadowed her eyes and her skin looked lackluster. "Joe. You called him Joe."

He stilled.

"How close are you to him? How..." She furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head in thought. She gasped suddenly and covered her mouth with her hands.

"Oh, my gosh! The trip! You shared a room! You disappeared all the time. You were always together... You haven't gotten into a fist fight in ages... How close are you? Have you kissed? Have you had...?" she went on unthinkingly.

Nick felt nauseous as soon as realization started to dawn on her face. However, as soon as she began with the personal questions, his nervousness subsided and instead fed into a quickly escalating anger. Joe's words came back to him, that he had no obligation to explain himself to them.

He gritted his teeth when she started to jump at and analyze every moment Joe and he had spent together. Her bitterness coated every word, every thought and every epiphany. He growled as she began to make bitter and cheapen his own memories.

"It's none of your business," he growled through clenched teeth.

"What?"

"Those sort of things. They're none of your concern. Don't pretend to know about things you have no idea about." His cold voice made her pause in her tirade, like she had swallowed something she didn't like.

He took advantage of her silence. He knew if they began attacking each other, their situation could get uglier and nastier. Before he smoothed things out, though, he had to say something first, if only to satisfy his anger.

"It doesn't matter what Joe and I have done or where or when. We're together!" She flinched visibly. "We didn't set out to hurt you. So many things happened that I was dizzy half the time. I wanted to tell you. I knew it would hurt you, too. But it's no one's fault! It's not mine or Joe's. I'm sorry it had to happen this way, but it has."

He breathed deeply, controlling his rage. He had become angry when she started attacking their relationship, making it sound flawed and fake, like it was just some cheap porn. Like it lacked feelings.

"Believe it or not, we didn't get together to hurt you. Put my relationship with Joe aside. It's there and it's staying."

She sobbed and caught it, not breathing until she broke the following whimpers before they escaped into the wind blowing at their faces. A stubborn tear made a wet track down her cheek before she could catch it. It curved down to her chin and dropped onto her clasped hand. With the splash of the sad liquid on her skin, she seemed to deflate, ending her vicious attack and her stubborn denial.

They looked away from each other, biting their lips and easing their anger. The park had grown quiet, the children all called home to lunch. A lone bird sang a hopeful melody and white clouds drifted overhead, casting them in shadow.

After a long pause, she apologized with a shaking voice. He stayed silent, accepting the apology without comment.

"Do you remember what I said? About what I thought love would be like for me, Nick?"

He jumped as he was nudged out of his stupor by the change of subject. He drew his attention away from the lonesome bird and looked toward her instead. Somewhere along the way, she had acquired a flower. It was white and tiny with five petals. Her anger had taken his entire focus, making him miss such a pretty thing.

"You said..." he spoke, licking his dry lips, clearing his throat.

"I said, I think it will feel like spinning... until the whole world turns into a blur and all you could see is the person you love spinning along with you." She laughed softly, maybe laughing at herself. "The thing is, I've been spinning so hard, so carelessly, that I got dizzy and tripped on my own feet. I wanted to get back up and spin again, but all I could do was throw up."

"Demi..."

"It came to me yesterday, I think. Why you didn't want to kiss me at that time, because it would be sort of cheating on Joe, right?"

Nick sighed. "Yes..." He scuffed the tip of his shoes on the grass beneath the bench. "And no."

He smiled—a genuine smile just for her. All of his anger had been spent. "I guess I didn't kiss you because of Joe, and because I really do think first kisses... Well, all kisses, belong to the person you like."

She blinked in surprise and then she finally smiled too. "I never knew you had such a great smile, Nick," she whispered and then stood up to face him fully. She put out her closed hand to him and opened it to reveal the white flower he had noticed earlier. "I'm sorry for the things I said. It was... It just shouldn't have been said."

He rose from his seat and warily took the small flower from her palm. "It was how you felt." He furrowed his eyebrows. "I'm sorry things happened this way."

"Then let's forgive and learn from it, Nick," Demi proposed.

He kept his smile wide and shy, and then offered his hand as well, accepting their truce. "Friends?"

Demi grasped his hand and shook it. "Rivals."

"What?" The heavy mood had been lifted, and he sighed thankfully.

"You heard me! I'm not giving up my love just because you have him."

"Demi..." He looked at her gleaming, confident eyes and small, shaking smile. She held herself high, like someone trying to hold the broken pieces of herself together. He understood. He was proud of her and her desire to fight for her love.

"Heh... Rivals and friends then," he compromised.

"The same goes for me." Nick turned and saw Miley watching both of them, smiling confidently with tear streaks on her cheeks. He somehow knew she had been there long enough to witness everything.

"I'm not giving up my love either," she said.

Nick chuckled softly. "Fine."

A comfortable silence stretched between them. They smiled at each other and Nick realized that they never really stopped being friends. They had just gotten through their first major argument that would make their friendship stronger for not giving up on it.

* * *

><p>After waving goodbye to both girls, Nick sprinted up the stairs of his apartment building, too impatient to wait for the elevator. The girls had invited him for some dessert at the nearest café, but his mind had drifted back to the image of Joe waiting not so patiently on his bed. As pleasant as it would have been to hang out with his friends once more, Joe was waiting and he had promised to return.<p>

He ran the length of the short hallway and skidded to a halt, braking on time before running into his apartment door. He twisted the door open and placed the small flower on top of the small table near the door. As he was kicking off his shoes, he called out his arrival as he always did.

"I'm home!"

"Welcome back."

Nick's breath caught as he felt his heartbeat reverberate outward throughout his entire body. It was out of habit that he had uttered those words. He hadn't expected there to be an answer; there never was. Something small—something he had rarely felt since his family had passed away—sparked inside him and began to unravel. It blossomed outward and he was afraid he would burst if he didn't do something quickly to satisfy it.

He was already grinning, and it turned into a full-fledged smile when he saw Joe exit the living room to greet him, still shirtless. His body moved without a conscious thought as he propelled himself toward the other boy. He launched himself onto Joe, wrapping his arms around the boy's neck and winding his legs around the slim hips.

"Oof! Ugh! Nick, you're not light at all, you know!" Despite the complaint, Nick heard a delighted surprise in the boy's tone.

"Well, bear with it for now! Don't break my mood!" he exclaimed, tightening his grip.

Joe chuckled and obliged him, holding on firmly. The boy walked backwards until he could collapse on the soft couch with Nick ending up on his lap.

Nick smiled against Joe's shoulder, trying to suppress the pounding elation of his heart while Joe remained silent, giving him some time to collect himself. He sighed in contentment and finally sat up to face the other boy, pressing his cheek against the hand that drew up to caress it and kissing the cool palm with his still smiling lips.

"I take it everything went well?" Joe asked, fingers tracing the outline of Nick's lips absently.

Nick nodded excitedly. "We traded words. She apologized. I apologized for it happening that way. She declared us rivals and friends. Miley showed up and said she won't give up either. We're still friends. I like you welcoming me home."

Joe blinked at him once and then again.

As the other boy processed what he had heard, Nick busied his lips by showering Joe's face with tender kisses while his fingers kneaded Joe's exposed nipples and chest.

Joe arched against his touch and held the brunette's chin between his thumb and index finger, stilling his movements. The tip of Joe's tongue traced the pink flesh of his lips, both bottom and top, eliciting a moan in response. Taking advantage of the parted lips, Joe slipped his tongue inside, encouraging Nick's own to glide and twist against his.

"Mmmm... So," Joe inquired, panting after releasing their joined lips. "They haven't given up, despite us being together?"

"Right."

"They're still going to flirt outrageously with me?"

"Yes."

"You like me welcoming you home?"

"Yes! Definitely yes!" Nick attacked Joe's mouth with renewed vigor.

"I feel like celebrating," he moaned into the kiss.

Joe tightened his hold around him and ground his groin against his. "Well, you did leave something unfinished..."

Nick rocked back, smirking deviously. "Why, so I did." He placed his moist lips close to the other boy's ear, briefly slipping his tongue out to trace the soft shell of cartilage. Joe's hands snuck behind him to cup his ass and grind him to the erect cock beneath the pants he wore.

"I want to know how it feels," Joe breathed.

Worrying the soft earlobe between his lips, Nick's hand moved downward between their hot bodies to unzip Joe's pants. He slipped a finger inside to tease the flesh just below the waistline. "How what feels?"

Joe shifted so Nick's hand could fully slip inside to wrap around his throbbing member.

"I want to know how... Ahhhhh! It feels to have you inside me..."

Nick's head snapped back to meet Joe's gleaming eyes. The dark eyes glowed with naked desire. Nick closed his mouth that had dropped in a surprised gawk and resisted the urge to clarify.

When next he spoke, his voice broke as he said a tentative "Okay." Shivers raced up his spine while molten desire went straight to his hard cock.

"Bedroom?" Nick asked.

Joe shook his head, handing Nick the tube he hadn't noticed sitting on top of the side table.

"Here is fine. I... I don't think I can... I want you now."

Nick swallowed a lump in his throat to hear the raw need in Joe's voice. They had already fooled around earlier, he thought. They both knew what they wanted now. "We'll need these off," he said finally, tugging on Joe's pants.

He stood to remove his own pants as Joe divested himself of his. Their naked bodies glowed in the afternoon sunlight that filtered through the window blinds, drawing horizontal lines on the sweat-slicked flesh.

Joe squeezed a fair amount of lube onto his hand and rubbed it between his palms before reaching for Nick's erection, coating it thoroughly.

Nick's knee buckled under the intense pleasure as Joe stroked his cock in quick, sure strokes. He hissed as Joe's thumb smeared his leaking seed over the crown of his cock, shuddering at the almost unbearable intensity.

He removed Joe's hand before he came without even entering him. He sat sideways on the couch with one leg curled, pressing against the back of the couch and the other bent, bare foot touching the floor. Joe laid on his side, one leg straddled by Nick and the other slung over the brunette boy's shoulder.

Joe smirked up at Nick. "I think this will work," he suggested huskily, voice consisting more of breath than actual words.

Nick coated his fingers with lube and, becoming more confident of his actions, sought out Joe's opening.

"You've thought of this before?" Nick inquired as he carefully slipped a lubed finger inside Joe.

Joe stiffened and then tried to relax his body as Nick began to thrust his finger in and out slowly. He shook his head, seeming to be having difficulty in collecting his thoughts.

"No, I just thought of it right now, actually. Another one, Nick," Joe gasped.

Nick nodded and slipped the next finger inside the tight entrance, thrusting and stretching. He felt the muscles grip him and groaned as he imagined how it would feel to have such warmth surrounding him.

Joe's breath came rapidly as he began to move against the small thrusts of Nick's fingers, panting when Nick curled them to brush against his prostate.

"Nick..."

Nick nodded and pulled his fingers out. He shifted closer to Joe and curled his arm around Joe's leg resting on his shoulder, hugging the pale thigh to his chest. The other hand held his stiff cock as he pushed its tip against Joe's opening carefully.

He kissed Joe's knee tenderly as he plunged steadily deeper inside the boy's writhing body.

"Oooh, God, Nick..." Joe clutched at the soft couch seat, gritting his teeth, biting his bottom lip. His back bowed a little, the boy curling into himself.

Nick's muscles strained, fighting the compelling urge to ram his cock quickly in and out of the boy. Sweat coated his skin and breath became difficult to draw. He stayed still as he watched Joe for any sign of pain or discomfort once he was fully inside the boy.

"Joe, are you alright?" His stomach flared as he took great deep breaths.

Joe's eyes were shut tight, his breathing short and rapid.

"I'm fine, Nick. Just m-move!"

"Okay."

Nick pushed himself up a little and began to slowly thrust into Joe, his foot using the floor for leverage. His thrusts quickened in pace as Joe cried out encouraging sounds. He complied to ram harder when the boy asked.

One hand gripped Joe's thigh to his chest while the other palmed the prominent arousal against the boy's quivering abdomen. He wrapped his fist around the swelled member and pumped in time to his thrusts, barely able to concentrate as pleasure wracked his body. He panted heavily as Joe's body gripped him every time he plunged deeper. The hot pressure built in his belly, threatening to explode as he drove on faster.

Nick shifted in place, and when he next entered Joe, the boy cried out loud in pleasure.

Nick smirked at Joe's wide, surprised eyes. He pulled out and pushed in several times more, stroking Joe's prostate. Joe writhed and words fell out of his lips incoherently.

"Nnnngh! Nick! So close... More... More... Ahhhh!"

Joe's hot cum shot out, coating Nick's fingers liberally. Some slapped against Joe's stomach and some splashed onto the couch's upholstery.

Joe shuddered with release beneath him. His body clamped tightly around Nick, making him cry out. The raw emotion in the boy's heavy-lidded eyes directed at him was his doing and Nick gave into the pleasure and let it uncurl. His hot seed pulsed deep inside Joe as he gripped the boy's thigh and hip, groaning at the intensity of his climax.

He leaned his cheek against Joe's knee resting unsteadily on his shoulder and plopped onto the couch cushion, unmoving.

"I think I almost passed out," Joe croaked.

"My vision's spotty." Nick blinked tiredly. "Is that normal?"

Joe chuckled. "I'll answer you when my mind comes back."

They groaned as Nick pulled out of Joe carefully. Nick found a pair of discarded boxer shorts and he wiped both of them clean as much as he could.

Nick collapsed on top of Joe and crawled upwards to reach the boys lips. He kissed the soft lips chastely and spoke against them.

"Joe..."

"Hmm...?"

"I think I am going to pass out."

"Bed?"

Nick fell asleep before he could gather a thought, exhausted from the day's events.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	22. Ghosts

Chapter 22 — Ghosts

* * *

><p>"Joe."<p>

Joe looked up from his bag, pausing in his quiet rush to leave the already empty classroom to meet with his brunette friend. Dr. Serene was leaning against his teacher's desk, flipping through the test sheets that Joe had helped in marking.

"Yes, Dr. Serene?"

The gray-haired teacher gave a tiny smile and waved a stack of sheets in his direction.

"You're looking better, Joe."

Caught off guard, Joe could only nod.

"Is everything all right at home?"

Dr. Serene never pried. Unlike most of the teachers in the high school who felt it was their sworn duty to be a vital part of their student's lives, Dr. Serene only inquired and left it up to the student how much he or she wanted to reveal. Joe was thankful; he had never possessed any patience for those who only wished to pry, hiding behind the pretense of concern.

"The same as always, Dr. Serene," Joe replied.

Dr. Serene hummed thoughtfully and then turned back to his papers. Joe knew when he had been dismissed. He gave a quick bow and exited the classroom.

He left the third building, strode through the school yard, and headed straight towards the gates where Nick would be waiting. Stopping a few steps away from his friend, he found the brunette boy looking around the opposite street curiously as if searching for something or someone.

"Nick," he greeted as he neared the boy.

Nick gave a distracted nod in return, his eyes still glued on something up the street. Joe followed the boy's gaze and saw only a sea of navy and white uniforms as the students filed out of the school gates.

"Is something wrong?" Joe inquired, prompting the boy to start walking.

Nick began to walk, humming in thought. Closing his eyes, he crossed his arms over his chest, looking a little baffled. "Maybe I was just seeing things after all," the boy dismissed.

"Seeing what?" Joe pursued.

Nick smirked and re-adjusted his grip on his school bag, tossing his brown curls out of the way of his eyes. His hair has grown enough that it occasionally poked at a hazel eye or brushed against sun-kissed cheeks.

"Seeing doubles," Nick explained. "I thought I saw you across the street, but there were too many people. Ah... It's nothing. Like I said, maybe I was just seeing things."

Joe nodded thoughtfully, feeling a little reluctant to let the subject go. He had an unsettling sensation all of a sudden, like a ghostly hand on his shoulder that he couldn't quite shake off.

"Oh! Demi's working today. She asked if we could visit or something." Nick grinned impishly.

Allowing himself to be distracted, Joe looked over at Nick suspiciously. "Let me guess, she promised you some ice cream?"

The other boy nodded, brandishing a free dessert coupon. "An extension to her apology, sort of."

Joe raised a skeptical fine brow. "You're going to accept dessert from someone who would've loved to have been searing you with hot pokers two days ago?"

"What, you think she would poison me?"

Joe grinned. "Oh, nothing like that. Maybe she's trying to make you fat so I'll leave you."

Nick scoffed, punching Joe's shoulder lightly. "Asshole."

The cheerful jingle of several bells announced their entrance into the cozy ice cream parlor. The parlor had an ideal location. It was only two blocks away from the high school and was always populated by its students. Contemporary styled tables and booths occupied the sparse room with tasteful paintings and photographs lining the walls. The lighting was just right—not too bright, yet not so dim. It created ambience, but also showed how clean and neat the place was. Good music mixed smoothly with the mild chatter of the crowd, enhancing the calm atmosphere as opposed to disrupting it. The staff was friendly and always accommodating. It was a popular place.

Most of the seats were occupied and a line had begun to lengthen at the register. The staff worked calmly with practiced efficiency, moving together as if in a dance.

They found a table with four seats beside the floor-to-ceiling glass window overlooking the sidewalk. Joe placed their bags on the chairs before they made their way to the counter to order their desserts. They stood in line and looked over at the menu board to see what they wanted.

Cold hands suddenly covered Joe's eyes and he stiffened momentarily, but Miley's familiar greeting somewhat calmed his ruffled feathers.

"Welcome, Joe!"

He pulled her hands away from his eyes and turned around. Miley stood behind him in line.

"Hey, Nick! I told you to wait for me!" She looked over his shoulder at the brunette.

Nick turned away from the menu board to watch in amusement as Joe tried to pry Miley off his side.

"Hmm... What are you talking about, Miley?"

"I asked that lazy-ass Matt to tell you to wait for me."

"Eh? I didn't see him after school."

Miley huffed, finally letting go of Joe's arm, much to his great relief.

"Damn! I should've known."

"You have far too much trust in that boy, Miley."

They turned and realized that the line had moved gradually and it was their turn to order.

"Hi, Demi!"

Joe watched the trio interact. At first glance, it looked as if nothing had changed for the girls. They spoke and acted the same. Nick acted the same as well; there was no awkwardness to his actions or voice. However, if one were to take a second glance, one could see the tightening around the girls' eyes and lips. Their movements seemed forced and deliberate, like how one would act if they were faced with a cobra and were trying to convince the reptile that they meant it no harm. There was a sort of awareness in their features; the usual ignorance had been replaced. And just as suddenly, Joe realized the awkwardness was because of him. The girls were nervous because of his presence.

They ordered quickly and Nick got his free coupon's worth. Joe was offered a coupon as well but he refused the offer gently.

Nick had wheedled Demi to take a short break to join them for a bit. The staff of five was too quick to agree. They kicked her out from behind the counter, proclaiming that she needed a break from working non-stop.

The four of them could have sat almost comfortably among the chatter if only the girls had stopped swiveling their eyes curiously back and forth between himself and Nick and ceased making such obviously hesitant noises, Joe thought.

At the end of a strained conversation, Nick abruptly got up from his seat and with a light squeeze on Joe's shoulder, he made an excuse about going to the bathroom. Joe knew exactly what the brunette's intentions were, and he promised himself that Nick would pay dearly for leaving him alone with Demi and Miley. He entertained the nice thoughts that danced enticingly through his mind briefly.

The girls, knowing Joe a little too well, knew he wouldn't volunteer to talk first, so they went on ahead and addressed the obvious subject.

"Joe," Demi began, tapping her spoon against the empty ice cream glass unconsciously. "I'd like to apologize for what I said." She didn't refuse to meet his eyes, as much as it looked like she wanted to.

He stirred the long spoon of Nick's unfinished dessert and glanced at them casually. He wasn't really bothered with what they had said or thought of him. His only concern was of the grief Nick had been put through for the past two weeks trying to apologize. Despite Nick's assurance that it didn't bother him, Joe had woken some nights when he slept over to hear Nick apologizing in his sleep.

"Ah," was all he said. Feeling the rapidly thickening discomfort in the air, he made a bit more of an effort to be forthcoming. "I apologize for leading you on. I should have told you I was screwing Jones the minute it happened." He smirked.

Their eyes bulged, and it seemed like a rush of hot air had fled their bodies, leaving them red and sputtering. He was much amused.

A hand smacked the back of his head not-so-lightly as Nick reclaimed his seat. It only prompted Joe to snigger and he noted the girls' mild surprise. He supposed that they hadn't seen much of this side of him. Then again, this side of him had been almost non-existent until Nick had gotten a hold of it and forcefully dragged it out.

The girls relaxed immediately and from the looks in their eyes, they seemed to have fallen even more in love with him. _Oh great_, he thought in mild amusement.

Demi went back to work practically floating on a cloud, Joe noticed. Miley had to leave to help at her parents' shop and he and Nick, after waving goodbye to Demi, left soon thereafter. Instead of going back to Nick's apartment, they opted to go to Joe's house. He recalled that he had laundry to do and he had a load of work impatiently waiting for him to acknowledge it.

Nick stretched beside him as they walked the short distance between the bus stop and his house. He hardly paid attention to the large houses and manicured lawns as they passed them by. Nick's constant chatter had his attention and he wasn't surprised to hear himself contributing to the conversation as well.

"I'm glad it wasn't as awkward as I thought it was going to be," the boy beside him observed.

"Hmm? You were nervous?"

"Yeah! I was shaking in my boots!"

"You didn't look it," Joe observed, pulling at Nick's fluff of curls teasingly.

"Heh." Nick ducked his head. "Well I was. I didn't know how it would turn out, but I'm glad it went well."

Joe placed his hands inside his pockets and met the other boy's gaze. "Me too. I'm glad."

They shared pleased smiles and walked to his house at a sedate pace. As they entered through the gates and walked up the driveway, he saw the curtains at the front window flutter and then close.

"Hmm? Is someone waiting at the windows?" It seemed Nick had noticed too. "I always see it moving whenever I come over."

Some of Joe's good mood vanished as he dragged Nick to walk faster.

"It's my mother, but she's not waiting for me."

Nick threw him a confused glance which he chose to ignore, even though he knew that Nick would extract an explanation from him sooner or later, or that he would eventually offer the details himself without much prompting necessary on the other boy's part.

They entered the house and he halted in his steps when he saw his mother standing at the foyer, looking as impassive as usual. She greeted them home in an even tone of voice. Behind him, Nick greeted her cheerfully while Joe merely nodded and pulled Nick up the stairs toward his room.

"I'll bring you some snacks and drinks later, Joe."

He froze and heard Nick grunt in pain, prompting him to loosen the strong grip he had on the boy's arm.

"That's not necessary."

"I want to, Joe."

He wondered briefly why she kept saying his name. She hardly said it; they hardly spoke at all.

"Fine. Do what you want." He ignored Nick's disapproving glance and walked up the stairs. Nick followed immediately after throwing a polite thank you to his mother.

Joe shut his bedroom door behind them and threw his school bag on a nearby chair.

"That was a little harsh, don't you think?" Nick asked, sitting on the bed.

"Don't pretend you know enough of what's going on in this house to judge such things."

"Hey, I didn't say that! I just thought it was a little rude, that's all." _Trust Nick not to back down_, Joe thought.

"Forget about it, loser. It's always like that here," he said as he pulled his shirt up and off, throwing it into the overflowing hamper. His mood was becoming ugly, fast.

Unexpectedly, strong arms surrounded him from behind as lips kissed the nape of his neck. His rigid shoulders began to melt at the onslaught of nips and kisses until he deflated and leaned back into Nick's arms.

"Geez, don't get so angry," Nick hissed.

He sighed, chastising himself for taking his insecurities out on Nick. It just threw him off a little to find his mother actually paying attention to him. He nodded and apologized by taking one of the boy's hands resting on his stomach to his lips and kissing it affectionately.

Joe drew away from the warm arms and grabbed a fresh shirt from his closet as Nick sifted through the miscellaneous things in his room.

Once they were settled, they made themselves comfortable, seated across each other at his low desk with their various homework spread around on its surface. Soon they were hard at work, only talking every now and then.

Nick jumped when a knock came at the door but Joe simply stood to open it. He had heard his mother's quiet footsteps as she was ascending the stairs. He opened the door and she quietly let herself in, placing a tray of snacks and drinks on top of his desk where Nick had cleared a corner of it for her.

Nick thanked her, accompanying his gratitude with one of his irresistible smiles, and Joe thought his mother's eyes melted just a tad. Underneath the table, Nick nudged his foot and he allowed himself to be a little courteous.

"Thank you, mother."

She paused at the threshold and, without turning around, said, "It would be nice if your friend stayed for dinner, Joe."

Joe looked at Nick who was nodding happily. "Yes, Mother."

With a silent nod, she closed the door behind her.

"Is it okay if I stay?"

Nick often visited, but he had never stayed for dinner or to sleep over. Joe usually got them some food to share in his room or they ate before they went to his house.

He smiled, assuring Nick that it was alright. He had never really liked the idea of the other boy eating all alone in his too-often silent apartment.

His answer was met with a wide, teeth-flashing grin from Nick as he grabbed some of the snacks off the plate.

Taking a break from studying, Nick helped him load his laundry in the washer and fold a few clothes fresh from the dryer. He discovered he and Nick shared a small indulgence in burying their faces in warm and fragrant clothes fresh out of the dryer.

Joe surrounded Nick with a warm towel and pulled the boy toward him, kissing the tempting and perpetually grinning lips. He rested his forehead against Nick's as their lips and tongue melded, intensifying the heat surrounding them. He nipped Nick's chin teasingly as they stayed in the embrace until the towel cooled. Sighing audibly, they turned back to folding the quickly cooling garments.

A thought ran through his mind and he asked Nick the question before he could think about it.

"Hey, who taught you how to do the laundry?"

Nick looked up from folding a t-shirt and shrugged. "I watched my aunt do it when I was little. It wasn't as easy as it looked and I still end up with the occasional pink uniform shirt, courtesy of a red sock every now and then, but I've gotten better."

He smoothed out the lines on the folded shirt with a distant sort of gaze. "I remember standing in the middle of my new apartment a week after I moved in and seeing the pile of dirty clothes on the floor." He laughed bitterly. "I panicked and just stood there, having no idea what the hell I was going to do. I avoided the pile for another three days until I was left with a bare closet and I was down to my last shirt and pants with mismatched socks. Then I kicked myself to the laundry room and told myself, 'To hell with it. Whatever happens happens.' And then gradually, it wasn't so hard to do everything else."

"It must have been tough."

Nick snorted and turned to him, eyes blazing knowingly. "Life's tough, but you just keep living, no matter what!"

Joe saw it then—that small piece of darkness that lingered inside Nick. It was a black bitterness that would eat away at any soul if they allowed it, but Nick was strong, and he wanted to live.

Joe smiled. "Yeah, you're right."

Just as they finished folding the laundry, they were called to dinner. His father had come home without his knowledge and now sat at the head of the table. His mother served the food and then sat at the other end. Nick sat beside him. An empty plate was placed across from Joe's own in front of the seat opposite his. He controlled the urge to break it.

Dinner was a quiet affair. Occasionally his mother or father would address a question toward him or Nick. His answers remained clipped and distant, while Nick gladly answered and asked questions of his own. Perhaps, Nick knew not to ask, because he remained silent about the empty plate until they were back in his room, sprawled on his couch.

Nick patted his full stomach happily and then turned to him, asking carefully. "Who was the empty seat for?"

Joe sighed, not wanting the nice day to be ruined. He pulled Nick to him and silenced his inquiring lips with a kiss.

"I'll tell you another time, alright?" he whispered against Nick's parted mouth. Thankfully, Nick nodded in agreement before attacking his lips demandingly.

Later, as he watched Nick walk away from his front steps, his mother came to stand a short distant away behind him. "It's nice that you have a friend, Joe."

He didn't say anything in return, and pretty soon, he felt her presence leave him alone, Nick's retreating shape having long ago disappeared from his sight.

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><p>Joe ran the pad of his thumb over the smooth surface of Nick's pendant, a habit he had gradually acquired. In the faint moonlight that streamed through his windows, it glimmered faintly. Nick had said that he received the necklace from his parents on the day of his birth. The boy had not taken it off except when it needed cleaning and when Joe had snapped it off his neck. That time seemed ages ago, Joe thought, and yet, Nick hadn't asked for it back ever since they came to their mutual agreement.<p>

He let it dangle in the moonlight and wondered whether it was time he returned something that clearly did not belong to him and something that Nick treasured deeply. He recalled a moment when Nick had been writhing beneath him and, gasping around a moan, had pressed the pendant against his chest firmly. Even before the pendant was confiscated by Joe, Nick had often unconsciously run soft fingers over the chain that peeked out of his shirt, catching Joe's notice every time.

A sudden heavy feeling of being watched aroused him from his pondering and he looked quickly beyond his reflection in the glass to look out onto his yard. There, past the gates, a person stood away from the eerie glow of gate light, unmoving except for the long jacket waving in the breeze. That sense of foreboding he had felt earlier returned to him now, but it was much stronger. He wondered who the person was.

_Is he looking in the house?_, he wondered, realizing the person could not possibly see him in the darkness of his room.

He gasped suddenly. "Nick?" The boy had never called and only visited when Joe was with him. It was an irrational thought, but Joe got off his perch anyway and dashed down the hallway and the stairs. He fought with the locks momentarily as his naked feet found slippers in the dark. Flinging the front door open, he ran out into the yard. Shivering in the midnight breeze, he steadied his stride and stopped short of the gates. The figure remained hidden in the shadows while he in turn was bathed in yellow light.

He was going to call out, but he knew at that moment that the hidden figure was not his friend. He didn't know what to say, and for an unknown span of time, they stood and gazed at each other. He was tall, Joe observed, and slim, but he was kind of unsure of that since the large coat covered most of the body. The wind chimes sung; he blinked and the figure was gone.

Joe stepped back in surprise. He looked around him, gripping the iron bars of the intricately melded gate and looked to his left and then his right. The street was empty. He pinched his eyes to see past the spots of darkness in the street, but gave up when he found nothing. Slowly, almost reluctantly, he turned back to his house. When he reached the open door, his mother stood watching him, clad in her silky robe.

"Is something wrong, Joe?"

He refrained from looking back into the streets just to make sure and shook his head "no." He passed her and quietly climbed the stairs. He didn't hear the front door shut until he lay on his bed, in between the states of waking and dreaming. That night, his mind chased away dreams of the past and welcomed more pleasant dreams of Nick instead.

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><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p>

Oooh. Do I smell a mysterious conspiracy?

Hey, do I have any reviewers left out there? You guys that review on my Fanfiction account just kind of stopped. Not that I really need them, but they're nice, y'know? Wink wink, nudge nudge?

10 more chapters left! Whoa! But hey, a lot can happen in 10 chapters...


	23. Monster

Aw! I'm touched that a lot of you guys care for my story so much. Guys, you'll be surprised what all happens in 10 chapters. Don't worry about a single thing, chicklets. I promise that I won't leave you unsatisfied at the end of it all. ;)

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><p>Chapter 23 — Monster<p>

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><p>"I'm home..." he murmured tiredly. Nick unlocked his apartment door, walked in, and slipped his shoes off. He noticed two sets of unfamiliar shoes just as he heard footsteps coming from his kitchen.<p>

"Hey, Monster. You're home pretty early."

Nick's eyes widened, surprised to see his fifteen year old cousin, Emily, standing before him. Her bleached blonde hair was twisted into a pair of matted ponytails. The bleach needed to be redone; her roots had begun to show. She still had her school uniform on, skirt a little shorter than required and knee socks not school standard. The familiar blue frigid gaze on her face measured him coldly. They'd hardly seen each other over the last few years. In fact, they only saw each other at times like these, or accidentally at the crossroads and train stops. Neither one ever acknowledged that they were related.

He wordlessly shrugged his blazer off and strode toward her to grab the picture frame dangling from her hand. Judging from the other pair of shoes, his aunt was in the kitchen.

"Hey, come back here! I was looking at that, stupid!" She followed him down the hallway.

He growled under his breath when he saw his open bedroom door. He entered and put the picture frame back to its rightful place. When he turned, he saw that his drawer had been opened as well.

"Hey, who was that guy in the picture? Like, he's hot!" she gushed from the doorway.

"None of your business. What the hell were you doing in my room?" He glared at her with equally crude eyes and pointed to the disturbed surroundings. "And why were you touching my stuff?"

"Hey, chill, Monster! Your place is bare, with nothing to entertain me. I was just bored," she drawled as she chewed her gum noisily. Her eyes shone with mischief.

_Monster._ He barely twitched at the much-used taunt. It was a nickname he had grown up with. Unlike most nicknames, his hadn't been given out of affection. "Next time you're bored, try jumping out the window."

"Hmph! It's not like I found anything good..." He stopped his eyes from twitching in the direction of the pillows, or rather beneath them. "You're damn boring, idiot."

"Who the hell asked you?" he growled.

"So, who's the guy, and who are those other people?" She completely ignored his question and pointed at the picture frame which contained a picture of him and Joe, one with Demi, Miley, and himself, and another of the entire group at the retreat center. Knowing that she wouldn't shut up until he gave some sort of reply other than a suggestion for her to fuck herself, he grudgingly replied, "They're my friends."

"What? Quit lying! Who wants to be friends with you?"

He rolled his eyes, but decided he wasn't going to play this game any longer. He'd been playing it for almost his entire life.

"Get out of my room."

"Make me, Monster."

He made a move to unbutton his shirt and predictably, she screeched and turned swiftly away, walking out of the room. "Ewww, you pervert!"

Nick snorted and rolled his eyes once more for good measure.

He dressed quickly, grabbed the tube of lubricant from under his pillow, and tossed it in a box inside his closet. As he left his room, he shut the door behind him. It didn't hurt to be paranoid.

He walked into his kitchen just in time to see his aunt closing a cupboard door. His cousin leaned against his table, blowing a bubble with her strawberry gum and looking bored and ordinary.

His aunt, a tall and slim woman with brown hair and blue eyes, looked toward him with sharp, unfriendly eyes. He bowed respectfully, despite wanting to hurl.

"Your account has been updated and we bought enough groceries to last you for two weeks."

"You don't have to, Aunt Jane. I can do the shopping myself."

"Here's the check for this month's rent." She placed an envelope on his counter and then walked past him as if he hadn't uttered a word to her. She still treated him like that lost eight year old child from long ago. His cousin followed, looking up at him haughtily as she walked by.

He followed behind to see them off. Just as his aunt grasped the door handle, a knock sounded from the other side of the door. She opened it and Joe frowned as they came face to face. Quickly composing himself, he bowed politely. Nick saw from the corner of his eye that Emily was gawking unabashedly.

"May I help you?"

Nick held a growl at bay. _What right does she have to question my guests?_ he thought.

"I'm here to see Nick, Ma'am." Joe's voice was cool; unmoved by her usually overbearing presence.

"And you are...?"

With her back turned from him, he imagined that she had raised her eyebrow in that condescending way she had. Again, he wanted to scream that it wasn't any of their business, but he grinned instead, smiling so hard that it made his cheeks hurt. "He's my—"

"I don't recall talking to you, Nick." She clucked her tongue at him. His cousin giggled by his side.

Joe's eyes, if possible, grew colder. Nick flushed.

"I'm his friend," Joe answered.

She waited for more, but it seemed it was the only thing Joe was going to offer. After a terse silence, she pulled his cousin along and they walked onto the hallway. Joe moved aside to let them pass through the doorway.

Nick stepped out and they watched as the mother and child stood waiting in front of the elevator doors. Emily would glance back repeatedly to look at Joe some more.

"Aren't you going to invite me in?" Joe asked softly.

"Just making sure they're really leaving," he murmured back.

Thankfully, the elevator came and the mother and child stepped inside. As the door closed on their scowling faces, he moved away from the door to invite Joe in.

"You have pleasant relatives," Joe observed sarcastically.

"Don't I? I just love having them visit unannounced and look through my things. Damn, I have to change my locks or something."

"Hmmm?"

"It's nothing, just found my cousin looking through my stuff."

Joe frowned.

"Are you hungry?" Nick asked, changing the subject.

Joe shook his head and leaned over, capturing his lips.

Before he could even blink, the lips were gone. Not amused, Nick clutched the boy's shirt and pulled him back, collecting from Joe a deeper and more drawn out kiss. Joe chuckled against his mouth and Nick swallowed the laughter. He felt the wall collide with his back as Joe pushed him and breathed deeply into their kiss.

"Nick..." Joe groaned.

Separating their locked lips, Nick pulled Joe to the kitchen.

"Are you sure you don't want to eat? I'm cooking."

"I'll just eat from your plate."

"Get your own plate, man. I'm starving."

"Stingy," Joe pouted.

"Your cute, pouting lips and watery eyes have no effect on me!" Nick jokingly crossed his fingers, making a slanted crucifix.

Joe grasped his cross and batted dark eyelashes at him.

"Argghhh! Noooooo, evil lashes...!" Nick tried to run away, but found himself pushed against the fridge. Joe's chuckling lips ravished his neck as nimble fingers slipped under his shirt to smooth over his tightening abdomen. A warm tongue dipped into the hollow of his throat just as Joe's knee parted his thighs. A loud grumbling rolled from his stomach then, surprising them both.

It was Joe's turn to look not amused while Nick tried to stifle his laughter.

"But I have to eat..." Nick protested and then visibly shrunk at Joe's murderous gaze.

"Starve then," Joe growled, clamping his lips onto the juncture between Nick's neck and shoulder.

Nick whimpered as Joe began to nip at his skin and lap at the small hurt. Gathering what was left of his wits, he pushed the boy away. He laughed out loud when he saw the petulant pout gracing Joe's lips.

Slipping away from Joe's warm body, he began to prepare himself a simple meal, pushing Joe away when the boy clung to him stubbornly. Their laughter echoed in the kitchen, just as their moans echoed in his bedroom an hour later.

Nick lifted his hips off the floor as Joe's mouth engulfed his hard length, repeatedly sucking and lapping wetly. Long fingers cupped his balls, massaging them lovingly. A slick tongue brushed over the crown of his length and teased the tiny opening, lapping at his pre-cum.

Nick grasped Joe's shoulders, his toes curling as he leaned his head back onto his shiny wooden floors. His naked body gleamed with perspiration. Chestnut-brown hair stuck to his forehead and sweat stung his eyes. Air flowed thick and ragged through his lungs, making it difficult to draw breath.

Joe's hands kneaded his ass and the back of his thighs, pushing him up to meet his busy lips.

"I threw the lube... Nnngg... Inside the... Oh, God... Closet!" Nick cried out as Joe's suction became stronger.

Joe released his erection and looked at him questioningly.

"The closet?"

"My cousin was snooping around, remember?"

Joe sighed and then got up, slipping out of his pants while he was standing.

"Where is it?" Joe asked, sliding the closet door open.

"It's in that blue box." Nick's glazed eyes followed the boy's lithe form, admiring the stirring muscles beneath the smooth skin. It reminded him of something...

"Joe..." Nick got up, moving to the bed.

"Hmmm?" Joe was busy shuffling the contents of the box, searching for the lube.

Nick knelt onto mattress, the sheets wrinkling under his weight. He put his arms forward, bracing his weight and gripping the blanket. His head was bowed; bangs covered his eyes while his cheeks flushed as he knelt on his hands and knees, legs spread apart.

"I had this dream..." he whispered.

Behind him, he heard Joe's gasp as the boy turned around to see the position he was in, and then there was a short, almost unbearable silence.

Remaining still, he waited.

He trembled when Joe walked with quiet feet and climbed onto the mattress, kneeling behind him. Strong hands drew his hips back and his ass met Joe's hard length. He gasped, shuddering as the slick cock parted his cheeks, its tip grazing his opening.

"Joe..." he groaned.

Joe covered his body with his, chest resting over his back. Soft lips kissed his ear, teeth tugged at his earlobe as hot breath made his insides twist.

"You want it this way, Jones?"

Nick swallowed. It was hard to think with Joe's hot length pressed against him. "A... Ah."

"Alright." Joe kissed his cheek as already-lubed fingers teased his opening before carefully plunging a finger inside him.

Nick's back bowed up as his breath left his body in a rush. He gritted his teeth as Joe stroked his insides, crying out when Joe pressed softly on his prostate.

"Ahh! Joe!"

"God, you're so hot like this..." Joe's gravelly voice uttered.

"Shut up! I'm always hot!"

Joe chuckled and inserted another finger inside him. Nick rocked against the stroking fingers, feeling himself stretch.

"Mmmm... More Joe..."

Joe held his hip, pulling it toward him as his fingers fucked him repeatedly.

"Now Joe... Pl... Please..." Nick moaned after a few more strokes from Joe's slick fingers.

"Shit, Jones, if you keep talking like that... I don't know if I can last..." Joe groaned and Nick felt the tip of Joe's cock enter him, stretching him as he breathed deeply and lost sense of time as Joe filled him.

"Fuck!" Nick clutched the sheets beneath him that were littered with tiny dots of sweat slipping and dripping from his body. With all of Joe sheathed deep inside, he felt sweet pleasure laced with slight pain throughout his entire being. His spine throbbed along with his bulging cock.

Joe's breathing was labored behind him, fingertips gripping his hips, bruising the flesh. "Nick..."

"Move, Joe... Oh, God, please move!"

Joe pulled out and quickly plunged back in. They cried in unison, the pleasure raw and intense. Joe rammed into him as he met every stroke, sanity tittering on the edge. His body rippled with contained pleasure, spikes of sensation seeping out his pores.

"Ggggah! Faster!" Nick shut his eyes tight as the building pleasure clawed at his insides, threatening to burst out.

Joe pushed in faster, pulled out and pushed in quickly.

Nick's arms collapsed from the pleasure, folding at the elbows, digging onto the mattress. If Nick thought Joe couldn't get any deeper, the raw scream ripped from his throat at that moment proved otherwise.

"Nnnnnn!" Joe keened, feeling the sudden difference.

"I can't... Too much! Gahhhh!" Nick came violently, pleasure overtaking him. His inner muscles clamped down on Joe and the boy screamed as he too came fiercely. Hot cum pulsed inside Nick, searing his insides.

Tremors of sensation rippled throughout their bodies as Nick collapsed onto the bed, boneless, taking Joe with him. They panted for much-needed forgotten breath, tongues lapping at moist and sweat-flavored lips.

Joe groaned and rolled off him, pulling out carefully. Nick hissed and caught Joe's hand in his. He lay on his stomach while Joe lay on his back and their heads turned to the side, eyes regarding each other. A sated smile spread across Nick's face, meeting an equally pleased smile tugging on Joe's lips.

"So..." Joe rasped. "Did you have any more dreams you'd like me to know about?"

Nick sniggered tiredly, kissing Joe's palm. "Maybe." He grinned, just before his eyes started to drift shut. A mild slap against his cheek snapped his eyes open, only to see Joe frowning down at him.

"No! You can't fall asleep. You fall asleep on me all the time!"

"But... I'm exhausted..." he whined.

"We'll clean up first." Joe started to get up and tugged on the blanket they were laying upon.

"Are you sleeping over?"

Joe finally gave up on tugging on the sheets and collapsed once more beside him.

"Yeah, might as well." He sighed tiredly.

They allowed several minutes to pass for them to regain some sort of strength, which they made use of by getting cleaned up and collapsing onto the once again clean bed.

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><p>Nick watched Joe in his sleep, raven-colored hair splayed on the pillow, lips partly open as deep resting breath traveled in and out. He ran his fingers across the long eyelashes gracing the pale cheeks and Joe stirred in his sleep, face scrunching momentarily and then once again going lax.<p>

He thought back to his aunt and cousin as he outlined Joe's features with a careful finger. They were his only family, and yet the boy beside him was far closer to him than they had ever been.

He wondered if he even wanted to bother associating with them as a family member should. A tiny part of him longed for that sense of comfort only a family can provide, _but then again_, he smiled, looking down at Joe.

"I feel comfortable right here," he whispered.

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><p>Ever since that unexpected visit, Nick began to notice his cousin more frequently. She stood out to him when they walked by each other at the street crossings. He saw her at the bookstore flipping through magazines with her friends, and even at the arcade.<p>

Whereas before she was almost non-existent to him, grey in shade like the rest of the world, now she was colored in like his friends and the people he spoke to. They didn't speak to each other, and yet some form of communication always passed between them. She expressed her learned hatred for him through her gaze and he would shrug it off, sometimes even grinning unperturbed.

"Hey, hey, Emily! Don't you think Kyle's cute? Wow! Come on, let's go talk to him!"

"No way. I'm too nervous to talk to him," one of her friends whined.

"What? I heard he uses girls! No way Emily, don't listen to her. Let's not meet with him."

Nick stood behind the yellow lines and waited for the train. He tried to ignore her, but like her presence, he could not tune her voice out as easily anymore. So, he listened with half an ear.

Emily stood with three of her friends, all of them dressed similarly as they checked out the guys loitering in the train station.

"Oh, wow! Emily, check him out! That guy! Look at that gorgeous curly hair!" One of her friends squealed.

Nick tried not to feel self-conscious or even turn. _A lot of guys have curly hair_, he dismissed.

"Wooo! I can imagine how his body would look like under that uniform!" gushed another.

"Wow. Look at his pretty eyes, Emily! Look, look!"

_Girls are so loud_, Nick complained inwardly.

"Huh? Who are you talking about?" In his mind's eye, he could almost see her turn.

"Him, Emily!" Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the girl's glued-on painted nails point to him. He also saw Emily's sneer before the train's swift arrival scattered her words.

He got onto the train car, relieved when she and two of her friends stayed at the platform. The friend that left the group smiled at him shyly and he offered one of his own to her. He wondered briefly at what Emily had said, but then dismissed the thought just as quickly. He knew for certain, he'd heard it before.

The following days were similar in nature. Somehow, her friends had formed a sort of crush on him, made obvious by an abundance of squealing and shy glances at him whenever they were at the platform.

One day, the short-haired one even sidled up to him and accidentally brushed her shoulder against his. Joe had happened to be present at the time and had chuckled at his predicament, but the boy had also pulled him closer against his side.

Surprisingly, Emily had nothing much to say about her friends' antics. Instead, she made starry-eyed gazes at that Kyle guy.

Nick didn't really mind the attention. He only had to endure it for a minute or so each day until his train arrived. _Not too many things can happen in a span of only a minute and a half_, he thought bemusedly.

As scheduled, his train slid to a stop in front of the platform. The doors opened and he stepped to the side to give way to the people exiting the train.

One of Emily's friends detached herself from the group and entered the train with him.

Finding purchase by gripping the overhead rails, Nick watched the platform disappear from sight as the train pulled out of the station. His tense shoulders eased and he breathed easier. He always felt a tight unease seep into his body every time he saw her now. He couldn't help but feel like she knew something she wasn't supposed to know. The way she looked at him had changed. It has evolved into a gaze that teased him with hidden knowledge.

Shaking the paranoia off, Nick found a seat and admired the passing scenery to keep his mind unoccupied of any troubling thoughts.

Once home, he made some ramen and stepped outside to his rarely visited balcony. He looked onto the horizon as he ate, glancing below once in a while when he saw someone enter or exit the apartment building.

A cool breeze stirred his careful curls and caressed his warmed skin delightfully. As he stared at his bare feet on the cool concrete of his balcony, he realized it had been several years already ever since that very first day he stood out here.

That day, he had peered into his apartment with the new furnishings and brown boxes scattered about. His couch and his mattress were still wrapped in plastic, his bathroom lacked a shower curtain, and his kitchen had been spotless. The wall had smelled of fresh paint and his floor reeked of varnish. A headache had formed from the disinfectant that clung to every tile and metal surface, forcing him to step out onto the balcony. Below him, at the street, the moving truck drove off, and his aunt's family van hummed, ready to take his relatives away.

He recalled looking down on his aunt and uncle's heads and also Emily's as she clutched her mother's hand.

His cousin's delighted voice rose up to him as he watched on silently. _"Yay! Mommy, the monster is gone!"_

_"See? Didn't mommy promise you, Emily?"_

_"Yeah!"_

A honk from a car zooming past knocked Nick out of his musings in a rush, leaving him slightly ill to his stomach. Sighing tiredly, he retrieved his empty ramen container and went back inside. After all, homework awaited.

_"Aaron, I can't stand seeing him anymore! Please do something!"_

_"Alright! Alright! Just calm down, Jane. I'll make a few phone calls."_

In his mind, he still heard the sound of buttons being dialed and the conversation that followed after a couple of rings, because they didn't even bother to close the door. Perhaps, they figured it would save them the trouble of explaining it to him. Or even more likely, the thought of being discreet and thinking of his feelings didn't even enter their minds.

_"You promise, mommy? You'll make the monster go away?"_

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><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	24. Standing Still

Oh, exhaustion. Welcome back into my life. -_- Anyway. Here's the chapter. Hope you like. :)

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><p>Chapter 24 — Standing Still<p>

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><p>To his eyes, the cement floor was jagged; uneven. He ran his palm against its rough surface and knew that if he pressed hard enough and pushed forward, it could break the skin. A solitary ant crossed his line of vision, carrying a large flake of green leaf. It scurried past, heedless of his presence. He thought of blowing it away, of taking the leaf from its firm grasp, but in the end, he allowed it safe passage. A cloud sluggishly floated above him. After its large shadow had skimmed over his body, he uncurled from the floor, stood up, and dusted off his uniform. The school roof was free of any other presence. He stood in solitude peacefully under the afternoon light.<p>

Joe closed his eyes, breathed in deeply, and then felt the edges of his solitude fade away.

The roof door swung open noisily, slammed against the wall, and shuddered under the force. Nick walked through the threshold and was instantly bathed in sunlight. In his arms, he held two bulging bags which were overflowing with lunch foods. Joe watched the boy's balancing act for a moment before walking up and giving him a helping hand.

"Thanks."

"Was the line long?" he asked.

Nick shook his head as he plopped down on the shaded part of the roof. "Nah, Demi and Miley just stopped me on the way here. God, girls can talk your ears off if you don't find an escape right away," Nick explained as he dug through his lunch bag.

Sitting down, Joe smirked and looked to see what Nick had gotten them. He was thankful that he found some real food and not just snacks. He began with the salad, licking dressing off his fingers as he liberally poured it over the greens.

"Thanks, loser."

He felt Nick's shrug against his side. "No prob."

They eagerly dug into their lunches and watched a line of ants cross the sun-heated floor near their feet.

Nick reached for another sandwich and the sound of tearing plastic accompanied the crunch of lettuce as Joe ground the greens between his teeth. Nick invaded his bag for a napkin and stole a carrot stick off his salad.

"I was thinking—"

"—Always a bad idea," Joe quirked.

"Ha-ha," Nick laughed dryly and stole another baby carrot.

"As I was saying, we should check out that new game at the arcade."

Joe took a swig from Nick's can of soda. "What kind of game is it?"

"Well, it has these cowboys in it..."

Intrigued, Joe allowed Nick a few minutes to explain the game's intricacies to him before he interrupted to inquire about a part that had piqued his interest. "So, the guy, or cowboy, left their town, and you have to set out to go and get him back?"

"Yeah. He's an asset to the town. Kinda like the deputy, or whatever."

"But he wanted to leave. Why go against his wishes?"

"Because he doesn't understand what he's doing."

"Leaving the town is a big deal, isn't it? Surely, one has to know what he's doing."

Nick looked into the distance and then turned to him, his eyes an obscure hazel. "Yeah, maybe he knows what he's doing, but he doesn't realize that together... they can be stronger."

Joe gave a rueful grin and tilted his head to the side. "But in the end, we're all alone and we have only ourselves to rely on."

Nick's eyebrows furrowed. "I don't believe that."

"I guess that's where we differ," Joe murmured, meeting Nick's clouded gaze.

Joe saw Nick's eyes clear, and that familiar gleam that told him the boy wasn't going to back down appeared. Before the argument came into fruition, he distracted Nick away from that particular conversation. "I think we should go. It sounds promising."

It worked. "Yeah? Cool! I've been waiting for it for months!"

Joe nodded and listened to Nick prattle on about the techniques and characters. In the back of his mind, he thought of the runaway character; of how similar they were.

* * *

><p>Joe commanded his player to dodge Nick's attack. With a combination of a few tricks, he was able to escape Nick's trap and retaliate.<p>

"Damn!" Beside him, Nick slammed his palm against the button. Groaning at the "Game Over" flashing in the screen, he fed the machine more coins. After a second, their fight continued.

"So, how are things with your mom?"

Joe spared a second to glance sideways at the brunette. The screen's flashing lights reflected over Nick's face, making his eyes glow. "Fine."

"Fine?"

"Yeah."

"Do you talk? Do you spend time with her?"

"Why are you asking?"

Nick shrugged, jostling his arm, which made his character slip and lose his balance, handing over an advantage to Joe's character. He cursed and reminded himself not to use that character anymore. Nick made his player dance around like an ape with a squirrel running around its back. "I can't ask?"

Joe sighed at the "Game Over" message and pressed the restart button. "You've never asked before."

"Well, I'm asking now." Nick moved his shoulders, mimicking his dodging character.

Joe pressed the pause button.

"Hey!"

"My mom and I talked for a while. It was... alright."

Nick grinned and restarted the game. "See?" He pulled out his character's rifle, making him take a step forward. "That's all I wanted to know."

Joe hid a grin and took out a weapon to parry Nick's almost-attack.

It had been a surprise to him when she had come up to his room to deliver some of his folded laundry. She hadn't left right away. Instead, she had started straightening things up around his room before striking up a conversation with him. He had pushed away his homework even though he had wanted her to leave. For a long time, he had told himself that he wasn't who she wanted and that he could never be that person. He had tried to dredge up his anger and bitterness for being second place, but the feelings had eluded him. Perhaps it was because he'd been lazy that day, or because that part of him which longed for the caring mother he barely recalled having once upon a time had slipped through a crack in his defenses. For whichever reason it was, he had talked to her, had cracked a smile at her awkward encouragement in his studies, and had suppressed the smile from widening when she failed to attach the familiar phrase _"Just like your..."_

"Damn! Joe! I'll get you for that!"

He sniggered and kicked Nick's player up in the air, jumped high, and smacked the length of his leg across the character's stomach, propelling it back down. Its body bounced off the floor a little as the "Game Over" sign flashed one more.

"Damn!"

"Heh."

Nick raised his index finger. "Once more! I'll kick your ass this time, I swear!"

"We can stay here all night and you won't beat me, loser."

"What? Let's play again! I'll show you!"

"You won't beat me..."

"One more ti—"

"—Besides," Joe moved closer, using the arcade's noise as an excuse to whisper against Nick's ear. "I can think of better ways to spend that time," he whispered with sultry eyes.

"I'll bet you can!" Nick yelled and shoved more coins into the machine.

Joe blinked in bewilderment as the game's song began to play. Nick chose his player and looked at him expectantly, fingers tapping at the buttons, impatience barely disguised.

"Once more! I'll kick your ass!" Nick promised.

Joe chuckled and did as the boy asked.

* * *

><p>They stepped out of the noisy arcade and sighed as the breeze cooled their heated bodies. The place had filled up a bit too much for their liking and with sore fingers and one bruised ego, they had decided to go somewhere else less crowded.<p>

Nick stretched beside him, grinning for all he was worth, arms reaching to the sky.

Joe caught sight of the strip of skin that flashed as Nick stretched his tired limbs, licking his lips at the knowledge that it was only his to touch.

"I could go for something to eat." Nick yawned and began walking up the busy sidewalk.

Joe followed and quickly caught up.

"Since I kicked your ass, I think you should buy me some ice cream." Nick never stopped grinning.

At the mention of ice cream and the route Nick was leading them on, Joe knew that they were headed to Demi's ice cream shop.

"You only kicked my ass at the end of the journey, loser."

"Aha! But it was the most important battle. I got my friend back."

"You mean the runaway."

"Yes, my character's friend." Nick nodded vigorously. "You."

Joe smiled despite his pounded ego. Yes, he had been thoroughly beaten, but it made Nick happy and earned him an impulsive hug, so all was well, he thought.

"Fine, I'll buy your ice cream, but only to make you feel better when I tell you that I let you win."

Nick stopped walking and glared at him. It would have been a menacing look if only Joe didn't find the expression so thrilling.

"You wish, Jonas! I kicked your ass big time! Come on." Nick raised his fists. "Put 'em up."

Joe looked at the shining determination in those hazel eyes, the upturned lips that were vainly suppressing a full-out smile, the cast of the late afternoon sun on gleaming skin, and felt a familiar excitement within.

"Dessert," Joe growled.

Nick's eyes widened in surprise as he was pushed into a convenient alleyway. "Desser—what?"

Joe pushed Nick against a building's wall, trapping him with his body.

"Joe?" Nick's hands slid down to Joe's waistband as the dark-haired boy's fingers dug into Nick's curly hair and pulled a little at the strands. He rested his cheek against a scarred one as his lips touched a soft ear.

"That mouth always got you in trouble, Jones..." He nuzzled his nose against soft hair. "Always made me want you."

He felt the body against his shudder as the fingers at his waist snuck under his uniform shirt and palmed his skin. Joe kissed Nick's cheek, following a path to tempting lips. He captured the soft flesh, pressing into it demandingly.

Nick pushed against him. Air whooshed past his ears and suddenly, his back met the hard concrete wall as Nick flipped them around.

Joe smiled into the kiss and opened his mouth to admit Nick's slick tongue. The hands traveled up his sinewy torso and sought out his excited nipples, drawing a long moan from him. His hands pulled on the soft hair, tilting Nick's head to deepen their kiss. Their breaths were stolen and shared as their tongues met. Every wet stroke rid them of the sense of their surroundings, leaving only the awareness for the other and the sensations given and reciprocated.

"Now, don't you think that this would be a better way to find out they were involved, Miley?"

"HELL, YEAH!"

Joe slid his eyelids halfway open. He hadn't realized he had shut them. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Demi donning her work apron. She was carrying a garbage bag and Miley was standing beside her, still dressed in the school uniform. Both were staring in avid fascination, blushing quite prettily despite the grins splitting their faces.

Nick moaned into the kiss, pressing against him some more, hands wrapping around his torso to pull him closer.

Joe kept his eyes on the girls as his tongue lapped against Nick's lips before invading them once more.

"Holy... Demi, I believe what we have here is a pair of exhibitionists."

"A pair of very sadistic exhibitionists," Demi agreed as she stared, unblinking.

Nick chuckled and withdrew his mouth and tongue, biting onto Joe's bottom lip before stepping away. He waved to the girls belatedly and pulled Joe to walk toward them.

"Is it some kind of kink of yours to be groping and sucking face in random allies, boys?" Miley pressed an accusing finger against Joe's chest once they got close enough.

"I couldn't help myself." Joe grinned ruefully.

"I see you've helped yourself plenty," Miley observed, pointedly eyeing Nick's disheveled hair and flushed skin.

Demi giggled and attempted to return Nick's hair into its regular, slightly less mussed appearance.

"Leave it, Demi." Miley drew the girl's hand away from running it through the curly locks. "It gives him that bedroom, rugged look." Miley growled playfully.

Demi pouted and then giggled along with Miley with that tone that always made him think they were giggling about something entirely different.

Over the days, the girls had come to accept their relationship. With the familiar flirting came a lot of teasing and fooling around. Joe had always felt like the outsider of the group, but slowly, he felt like he was being drawn into the cluster.

"So, was this just a random alley you decided to stumble into and grope each other in, or are you coming inside?" Miley inquired while Demi tossed the garbage bag into the large bin.

"A little of both," Nick answered for them.

"Well then, come in! The others are inside."

"The others?" Joe piped up.

"You'll see." Demi waved as she and Miley headed to the shop's back entrance.

Nick shrugged as the girls disappeared behind the door. Turning casually, the brunette leaned over, closed his eyes, and kissed Joe softly. They stilled for a moment, holding the kiss. Joe allowed his eyes to shut again as his hand drew up to cup Nick's cheek. Nick's lips moved against his, mouthing silent words carried by his warm breath. They drew apart slowly, eyes glazed, completely breathless.

"Wha... What did you say?" Joe whispered his question while he felt he was surrounded in a light haze.

Nick only smiled and started walking out of the alley. Joe chased after him and they both turned to enter the shop's doors.

As he was about to repeat his question, a loud greeting sounded from a corner of the dessert parlor, welcoming them both. They were surprised to see a crowd consisting of David, Zac, Matt, and Evan. Rebecca, a senior, Selena, and Miley chatted with Demi at the counter, which was void of any customers at the moment. At another table, Joe spied two other senior students that belonged to the council, Jared and Grant. Grant waved to them enthusiastically, as full of cheer as always, while Jared lifted his head from a thick text and gave a prompt nod before returning to his reading.

Nick gave an equally loud greeting and made a beeline towards the first group, swerving around seats and the few customers occupying the tables.

Joe nodded once to both groups as he walked alongside Nick.

"Hey!" David greeted again and pulled a few seats from unoccupied tables for them. "What have you guys been up to?"

"Oh, just checking out that new cowboy game at the arcade," Nick said, plopping down messily onto the seat.

"Ooh! I know about that one! Damn, if I knew it was coming out today, I would have gone and for sure I'd kick your ass!" David declared.

Nick snorted. "You can try."

"That sounds like a challenge," Zac inserted.

"I think it was a challenge to all of us," Matt added.

"Woooooh..." Evan encouraged.

"Why not? I'll kick all your sad asses."

"You got it!"

"Sure."

"My ass is not sad," Matt said.

"Hmm, quite perky looking, actually." Evan supplied.

Silence.

"We should ignore that," Zac advised.

Snickers filled the air.

"Here you go boys, some dessert for you." Demi slid two bowls of ice cream toward Nick and himself.

"Eh? But we haven't ordered yet," Nick pointed out.

"Or paid," Joe added.

"Of course you've paid." Miley grinned with glinting eyes beside Demi.

"Hey, I want a free dessert," complained the perpetually hungry Evan.

"No, Evan. These are not free. They paid earlier."

"Eh? Where?"

Joe had a hunch.

"At the back. We ran into them." She grinned.

"Figures." Joe rolled his eyes.

Nick sniggered beside him.

"Demi! Please have a seat. You've been working too hard." They turned to see Grant offering Demi his seat.

"Hm. Thick-Eyebrows over here sure is getting bolder," Nick observed, referring to Grant, who indeed, had impressively bushy brows.

The senior's affection for Demi had never been a secret. Demi had had an unfortunate—or fortunate to some—minute of clumsiness and had tripped on a step one day. She would have fallen down the stairs if it hadn't been for Grant rushing up the stairs, late for his class. He had caught her as they both fell, his body cushioning their fall. Ever since then, the senior had proclaimed it fate and had begun expressing his undying love for the girl. She refused him constantly with words or shoves, but Joe thought, and Nick agreed, that her flat-out refusals were more out of embarrassment than true displeasure. It seemed that she wasn't used to such treatment, one brimming with dedication.

Demi refused the offer to sit, predictably, but turned him down nicely, walking back behind the counter.

"Hmm, I think she's coming around," David observed.

"Okay, bets on the table. How long until she gives in?" Matt placed a bill on the table. He got a swap at the back of his head from Miley.

David, Nick, Evan and surprisingly, even Zac, stopped mid-way, reaching for their wallets, looking sheepish.

"Hmph! Boys," said Miley, as if referring to some beast that had peed on her favorite shoes.

She took Grant's seat and placed herself beside Matt who still held his smarting head.

"Hey! There's no room for your fat—"

Another smack to the head silenced him. _For a smart guy, he sure gets stupid around her_, Joe observed to himself. He felt Nick's body shake with laughter against his side since Miley's, and now Selena's, presence at the table ate up the remaining elbow room. Joe didn't really mind the tight fit.

"It would be wiser to move to a larger table," squeaked Zac, squeezed between David and Evan.

Everyone turned to the large table Neji and Grant occupied.

"I vote that we move," Nick suggested.

"But I worked hard to warm my seat..." Matt protested.

Everyone else got up and claimed seats at the large table. After an exaggerated sigh, Matt trudged along to join them and plopped in between Miley and Evan.

Conversations flew across the table as the day passed, until a ray from the setting sun warmed Joe's cheek through the glass windows. There was another place Joe wanted to visit before he had to go home. His father had said he would be home in time for dinner, and although his opinion tended to swing toward skepticism, there was a small part of him that hoped. His father had never been the verbal kind. Well, no one at his house, really, had ever been too fond of words. But Joe had found a way to read the man's moods in other ways. He didn't tell Nick much when the boy had asked about his family life, but that was only because he felt that if he spoke them out loud, the progress he had made over the years would shatter. So he remained silent, perhaps until he was sure everything was not as bad any longer as it had been once.

Joe reached beneath the table to grasp Nick's thigh, squeezing for attention.

Nick paused in his conversation with Miley and looked at him, tilting his head in question. Then, as Joe nodded toward the exit, Nick immediately understood.

He left Nick to announce their departure and instantly the table erupted in protests and tugged at their clothing to stay a while longer. He was amused and amazed inside. There had been a time when he had ignored them all and pretty soon they had learned not to speak with him. There had been a time when Nick had barely existed in their sphere as they left the annoying kid alone. But now, Joe thought as he backed away from the group, now it was different.

Nick waved a final goodbye and so did he. The group called out a final protest and then conceded and waved them away good-naturedly.

Upon leaving the shop, Joe led them to a path at the park. He recalled the newly restored swings and thought it would be a nice place to enjoy the view of the setting sun. The swing set looked over a forested hill and escalated above a few neighborhoods. He had run to that place as a child when he'd had nowhere else to go.

"Where are we going?" Nick asked, tripping a little on the uneven path. His hand automatically held onto Joe's arm. It slid down and melded onto his fingers.

Joe looked over at the boy and saw how he tried to cover his embarrassment with his stubborn expression, daring Joe to tease him. Instead, Joe pulled Nick along the path and delighted in the warmth their entwined hands made.

"It's a park I used to go to when I was a kid," was his answer to Nick's previous question. "When things weren't that great. It's a nice place to cool off."

Nick nodded in understanding, squeezing his hand. Briefly, Joe wondered what it would have been like to have an eight year old Nick holding his hand like this at that time. Would they have been different people? He pondered the thought, looking up at the pink and gold skies.

They found the swings empty, bathed in sunset beams, welcoming as always. Taking a swing each, they sat looking at the sunset, with their heads resting on chains and hands intertwined, dangling in between them.

Before the last rays disappeared and brought the night, Nick stood and pulled Joe to his feet. Joe was about to ask when Nick explained before his question left his lips.

"This might sound stupid," Nick said as he shuffled the dirt beneath their feet, looking at the remaining light, "but I thought I'd like for the image in my head to still have the sun instead of the darkness that followed."

Joe was taken aback. Rarely did Nick express this profound part of himself, but when he did, Joe was always left breathless. He thought about what Nick had said and found he liked the idea.

"If that's stupid, then I can be an idiot with you."

A surprised laugh escaped Nick's lips and Joe found himself embraced as mirth shook the boy's slim body.

Joe pressed a smile onto Nick's shoulder and held the boy as they stood still.

When they parted ways, Joe felt calm. He had his family, his friends, and his best friend, all of whom were people he felt he had never had before. It seemed too good to be true at times, especially times like now. Was it alright to speak it out loud? He wondered. Would just a whisper be allowed?

A sudden thought crossed his mind. He had wanted to invite Nick to a convention this coming weekend. It would be more entertaining with the boy by his side. He turned in his step and trotted to the direction he had seen Nick go. As he sped up, a feeling welled up from his gut. It was similar to that time when he felt he was being watched; those times when Nick had mentioned seeing someone that looked like him. He felt a rush of trepidation that had him changing his light trot to a panicked run.

_There!_ At the street corner, he saw a head of brown, curly hair. He stopped as the streetlights turned red. He would have stopped anyway when he saw the scene right across from him. Nick stood in front of a tall man, trench coat billowing in the light breeze. The last of the sunset touched their figures, making them seem unreal—a figment of his imagination. Nick looked stricken, a mirror of his own expression. The figure turned his way, as if expecting him.

A familiar face—an unwanted presence. The streetlights continued to flash in sync to his frenetically beating heart.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	25. Whimsical Fate

Chapter 25 — Whimsical Fate

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><p>Nick crossed the street and made it just in time as the traffic light blinked yellow. Without warning, as he was stepping onto the sidewalk, three kids riding bicycles turned at the curve. They swerved chaotically around his body, barely missing him. He dodged them as best as he could, arms flailing and feet jumping out of the way.<p>

"Hey, watch it, you brats!" he shouted after them as he attempted to right his balance.

With no word of apology given, the kids kept going, not even looking back. He suddenly thought of how similar the encounter was to life; to fate—it surprises you, and tries to run you down with barely an ounce of regret. The sky tilted in his vision as he watched the bodies and wheels disappear into the distance. He began to pitch backwards, but his fall was stopped by hands catching him on both shoulders.

He fell into a rush of fragrance, of smoke and spice, as strong hands squeezed where they held him. His back collided with a strong chest. Dazed, he turned to thank the person but paused when he heard a deep voice speak his name knowingly.

"Nick Jones, wasn't it?"

He turned fully around and pulled away from the stranger. A breeze swirled by as long strands of curly, raven-black hair were teased by the wind. Familiar, yet not, dark eyes looked down at him in blank regard.

"Who—"

The stranger turned his head toward the other side of the street calmly, almost expectant.

Nick followed the cool gaze only to find Joe, bristling with the angriest expression he had ever seen on the handsome face. The scowl seemed to intensify as the red light glowed sluggishly. Cars zoomed past, stirring the air between them.

Nick's eyes remained firmly fixed on Joe while at the same time, he tried to stay conscious of the man in front of him. He could not ignore the disturbing resemblance between the stranger and Joe or at the intense way they looked at each other. The stranger's silent presence was almost chilling, rivaling Joe's obvious anger. Nick's curiosity grew by the crawl of each second.

The streets cleared, becoming free of any passing vehicles. The crossing light shone from red to green. And yet, Joe remained motionless. Just when Nick thought the light would change again before Joe decided to move, the boy took a step forward. Each deliberate step toward them made the scowl on his face darker.

When finally Joe and the stranger came face to face with only a small distance separating them, Nick had the strongest urge to hold onto Joe, as if an invisible rift began to draw them apart. He shook his head at the stupid thought. Joe was right in front of him, or rather, in front of the stranger.

"What—" Joe began, voice sounding strained as if it was hard to speak. His chest heaved like it was difficult to breathe as well. "What are you doing here, Kevin?"

Nick stepped back, without meaning to. Joe's voice was made of something dark; unfamiliar.

"You've grown impolite, little brother. I expected better from you."

"What the hell? Little brother?" Nick blanched, staggering back, but it seemed neither heard his outburst.

"I expected you to be dead. So, what the hell are you doing alive?" Joe ground out through clenched teeth.

"Don't be an idiot, Joe. Get in the car. We'll be late for dinner with Mother and Father," the man said, as if unbothered by Joe's anger.

Just as the stranger, Kevin, said this, a black car pulled up to the street beside them. The driver, a tall man clad in a pressed uniform, stepped out and moved around the car to open the back door.

"I'm not going anywhere with you."

"Walk, then. Don't be late. Father would not be pleased." Kevin turned back to Nick, tilting his head to the side as he regarded him quietly.

"Forgive the interruption, Nick. Perhaps we could speak at another time," Kevin proposed.

Without waiting for a response, Kevin left Nick's side and walked to the car. He stepped inside and disappeared into the dark interior. A second later, the driver shut the door and moved around once more to get back to the driver's seat. The car sped away, headed to the direction of Joe's house.

Joe stood staring at the distance with his hands curled into fists by his sides. The muscles along his jaws worked tightly, gripped by obvious frustration.

Nick walked toward his silent friend, "Hey, what the hell was that about?" only to be brushed aside as the other teen ran to the direction of his home, without an explanation or a backward glance.

Nick blinked at the spot where Joe's figure disappeared to. He tilted his head to the side, confused.

"Fine. I'll talk to you tomorrow," he muttered into the quiet sidewalk, and then turned to go home.

Dark came. The street lights lit his path and the evening breeze made the trees shiver. Nick was hardly bothered by the cold as his occupied mind played back the scenes with the stranger and Joe over and over. He told himself to be patient. Joe would tell him about it. ...Maybe.

* * *

><p>Joe quietly shut his bedroom door. The latch caught and a soft whoosh whispered as the door fitted against the frame. He rested his forehead against its wooden surface, sighing deeply. The fingers curled around the doorknob began to shake, so he uncurled them and brought them to his lips. He felt his warm breath bounce back to his nose and lips as he allowed another repressed sigh escape. He turned to rest his back on the door and then slowly slid down to sit, leaning against it. He brought his knees up for his chin to rest on, his hands hugging his legs close to his chest.<p>

It had been a trying evening. His mother looked as if she had been ready to burst into tears and his father... His father had pulled Kevin to him and embraced his brother. Kevin had regaled them with stories of entering prestigious schools, of his achievements, of his current position of power at a large firm. And at the same time, he had asked Joe of his own accomplishments, of his academic standing in school. Kevin had spoken in clipped tones, cold and reserved, belittling. He had also seemed guarded and secretive, dodging several questions from his parents. However, it had been enough for his mother and father, for their faces to crack into real emotions of pride, happiness, and acceptance.

When he had seen Kevin bathed in sunset in front of Nick, his mind had drawn a blank, and then instantly, memories assaulted him. With the memories came emptiness, and his once distracted anger—distracted by Nick's presence in his life—rekindled and flared.

But his parents' reactions were different, kind and forgiving—favoring. Just like before.

They had forgotten just as quickly the years of silent suffering they went through. _Had it been that long?_ Joe asked himself. Time could often move so fast, but there were times when it crawled and you felt every excruciating second.

They had forgotten Joe again.

Gritting his teeth, he stood. He grabbed a towel from his closet and headed to the bathroom for a shower.

As the drizzling water took its path down his body, soaking into his hair and wetting his skin, he worked hard to not recall the past. He didn't need for the past to bother him when he already had the present to deal with. And if the fates were as cruel as they had been tonight, perhaps he also had his future to worry about.

When he exited the bathroom and slipped into his room, he was met once more with the sight of his brother's back. Kevin stood over his study desk silently, his imposing presence easily filling the room.

"You have more pictures of your friends than that of diplomas and trophies," Kevin observed.

"Get out."

Joe grabbed a pair of boxers and a set of sleeping wear from his drawers. Tossing his towels to the side, he dressed quickly, hoping after he had pulled the neckline of his shirt over his head that his brother would have gone. His hair wet the V-shaped neckline of his shirt as he slipped it on. When the fabric revealed his eyes, he saw that his brother had yet to leave.

Kevin picked up a familiar frame and held it to the light. He stared into the image and turned to Joe, the frame still in his hands.

"Nick Jones. Your friend, Joe?"

"I said to get out."

Kevin raised an eyebrow eloquently.

A couple of Joe's heartbeats sped by as silence oozed around the room. When the silence was almost stifling, Kevin moved, placing the frame back in its original spot. Instead of leaving it standing, he flipped the glass face onto the desk's surface, hiding the image.

"Don't waste your time on such a relationship, little brother. Mother and Father would surely be disappointed. It is not becoming of a Jonas to settle for something so demeaning."

The last of Joe's patience snapped and he lunged for his brother. "Get the fuck out!"

Kevin caught his arms in mid-motion and pulled. Joe suddenly found his face pressed into the mattress of his bed. His arms were twisted and held tight, while a hard knee pressed against his spine. He gritted his teeth as pain lanced upon his shoulders. A blush covered his face at the humiliating position he found himself in.

"You're pathetic, little brother. Very disappointing," Kevin whispered, his grip getting stronger at every word spoken.

Joe cried out in pain. The grip on his arms lessened and then Kevin pushed away and let him go. Joe kept his face pressed into his sheets and waited until the door opened, closed again, and then for his brother's footsteps to grow faint and finally disappear. He pushed himself up, cradling his abused arm and then moved to sit on his window's ledge to watch his brother's car drive away. It didn't matter that his brother wasn't going to spend the night. To Joe, his presence had already been embraced by the house.

Reaching for a small, ordinary-looking box sitting beside his books, his mind began to consider things. He opened the box and withdrew the gleaming chain with its spiral pendant. Joe held them up to the moonlight and as they swung in tandem, as they danced with the moonbeam; he knew what he had to do.

* * *

><p>Joe watched Miley's moving lips as if in a trance. She stood in front of the class reciting from the chapter they were currently dissecting. He should have been listening, but he wasn't. He had already read the chapter and was a couple of pages ahead, but nevertheless, he had to look interested. The class president couldn't look like he was slacking off. After straightening his posture and schooling his features to look like he was paying attention, he allowed his mind to wander once more.<p>

He had managed to avoid Nick for most of the day so far. With an onslaught of excuses ranging from needing to be elsewhere, be it at meetings or tutorials or some hastily thought of location, he hadn't spent more than two minutes with the boy. Nick looked as if he understood and allowed him room to flee, but surely he would get accosted by the boy sooner or later. He was almost certain Nick was itching with curiosity concerning yesterday's unexpected events. He himself had spent most of the night sleepless, wondering about how his brother knew Nick's name. He had also spent a large amount of time debating with himself about the wisdom of his decision.

Joe stifled an oncoming yawn. His eyes stung from the lack of sleep and his limbs felt heavy. Even his hair felt limp and flat.

A crumpled ball of paper landed on his textbook, startling him out of his daze. Catching the thrown projectile before it garnered any unwanted attention, he looked around quickly to see where it had come from. Demi waved inconspicuously at him and pointed at the ball of paper clutched in his hand. He looked toward Dr. Serene and found seemingly inattentive eyes roaming the rows of desks. But Joe knew better. Those eyes were sharp and caught everything. He tucked the wad of paper in his blazer pocket and chose to read it later when class was over.

At the end of class, he had planned on running to the library to catch up on a few worksheets and also to avoid colliding with Nick. They often met at the stairs after third period, just to catch up or try to say as many things to each other in a span of five minutes, but today, he would rather he avoided that part of the routine. Before he had the chance to leave his desk however, Dr. Serene called to him. He stopped his rapid packing and looked toward his teacher.

They waited until the class was empty until they spoke. Dr. Serene gathered a few sheets on his desk, organizing a little as the last of the students exited the room.

"I had an interesting visitor yesterday." Dr. Serene mentioned nonchalantly.

Joe leaned on his desk, crossed his arms, and waited for his teacher to continue.

"It must be nice to have your brother come visit."

Joe didn't comment.

"I gather things are alright at home, then. Since you're not missing your classes and all," Dr. Serene said as he peered into a test sheet.

"Of course things are fine, Dr. Serene. Why wouldn't they be?" Joe countered.

Dr. Serene hummed in thought, scratching his chin. "Well, things were 'fine' too at that time..." Dr. Serene tilted his head back as if considering.

Joe gripped his arms tight around himself, feeling a coldness the sudden memories had invoked. If it wasn't for that time, Joe wouldn't even be speaking to Dr. Serene at the moment. He was indebted to Dr. Serene in a way, so he couldn't just walk away and tell him to mind his own business. With only so little words, Joe understood Dr. Serene's concern for him, but he didn't need any help this time. He hadn't needed any help at that time either, but Dr. Serene had still offered it.

Joe reluctantly watched as his hidden memories emerged to parade in his vision like a silent film stuck on the same frames. His eyes glazed with hurt. Sighing, he unfolded his arms and pushed away from his perch on the desk. He reached for the straps of his bag and then met his teacher's eyes.

"Things are fine, Dr. Serene. I can take care of myself this time."

Dr. Serene kicked away from his spot and began to write down the next class's work on the board. With the man's back turned to him, Joe headed for the door.

"Well, if you're sure..." Dr. Serene's voice sounded in the classroom and made Joe pause in his steps. He considered the decision he made the night before, and then continued with sure strides toward the door, confident it was the right one.

Joe walked down the stairs and reached inside his pocket for Demi's note. He unfolded the paper, noticing first the doodles made on the margin with a red inked pen and then the feminine scrawl. She asked him if he was alright. She told him that Nick had seemed distracted that morning, but wouldn't tell her why. She said she was there for him, if he wanted to speak with anyone. Her name was accompanied by a lopsided heart, the 'D' written in fancy thin curves.

It didn't surprise him that Demi had noticed something was wrong. She had watched him for as long as they had known each other; he doubted she would stop watching anytime soon.

Joe returned the letter to its crumpled state and tossed it into the trash can he walked by.

* * *

><p>"Oh, my gosh! He's so hot! Ashley, come look!"<p>

The school bell chimed, indicating the end of the school day.

Joe moved out of the way just in time as a few girls rushed by him to run to a window several girls had already occupied. They leaned out the square opening as if it would bring them closer to the object of their observation. Another chorus of squeals erupted from the bubbly cluster as he continued his way down the hallway.

"Jeez, it sounds like a circus down here."

Joe gave a small start and turned at the complaint to find Nick by his side.

"Hey," Nick greeted, grinning.

He nodded, returning the greeting, and couldn't suppress the tiny smile that broke out at the sight of the boy, despite his best effort to become distant and avoid Nick.

"What are they looking at anyways?" Nick wondered as Joe found his wrist grabbed. Nick dragged him toward a window quickly. With their height, they were able to look over the heads of most of the girls.

Below, just beyond the school's front doors, stood his brother, speaking to a teacher. At the street, the black car was parked, waiting.

Joe understood then, what all the commotion had been about. He looked at the girls whose admiration for him he had always ignored, but inwardly relished. All their eyes turned toward the figure of his brother; none saw him among them.

"Hey, that's the guy from yester—"

Joe pulled Nick into an empty classroom before the boy had a chance to give the girls more reason to squeal. Which he found soon after was a mistake.

Nick, he found, could easily dull his resolve. The boy stood blinking at him, hazel eyes asking him to explain what he couldn't.

"What's wrong with you? Dragging me and—Hey! You have a brother! I didn't know that!" Nick began to question.

Joe sighed, and then realized he still held Nick's wrist. He twisted the lock on the door behind him and pulled Nick to him. His resolve was crumbling in presence of the other boy. If he was asked another question, Joe knew he might give in.

"And that confrontation yesterday, what the hell was that about?"

Joe turned them around to push Nick against the wall. He closed the distance between them and silenced Nick's lips with a deep kiss. Nick's protest turned into a groan when Joe lapped at the moist lips, entering the warm mouth and tracing teeth. He pressed himself against Nick, one hand cradling the brunette head and the other moving downward to unbutton the uniform shirt. His fingers fought with the stubborn buttons as his tongue moved against Nick's own. He deepened the kiss while Nick's arms snaked around his waist, fingertips digging into his back.

"Joe," Nick whispered, breathless. "Stop avoiding me. I know what you're trying to do—"

Once more, Nick's protest was cut off, melting into a startled gasp when Joe's lips and tongue worked down his chest, teeth and lips latching onto a nipple.

Joe worried the erect nipple between his teeth, licking around and over it. He buried his hand into Nick's hair, pulling at the long curly stands, excited by the sounds Nick made. Releasing Nick's nipple, he looked up to see Nick's head thrown back, teeth biting his bottom lip, eyes to the ceiling. The boy's chest rose and fell after every deep breath as his hands moved up from Joe's waist to grip his shoulder.

Joe watched as Nick's flushed expression turned angry. He winced when Nick's grip on his shoulder increased. With an unexpected shove, Nick pushed him away, eyes bright; livid.

"If you don't want to fucking tell me, just say so! Don't try to distract me with... with this!" Nick gestured to his open shirt. "I'm not fucking stupid!"

Joe righted himself from the desk he bumped into, running his fingers through his hair.

"I didn't say you were stupid, Nick."

"You didn't have to!" his friend retorted.

"Calm down, lose—Nick." Joe sighed.

"You know what I don't get? I thought we were over this. I thought we could actually tell each other... things."

"Don't expect things, Nick." Joe winced; he shouldn't have said that. But it had been said, and Nick looked angrier. The feral grin directed toward him seemed to promise violence.

"What?" Nick ground out.

"I can't deal with this right now," Joe breathed, walking past Nick. A grip around his wrist stopped him.

"Are you walking away?"

Joe gritted his teeth and pulled away from the grip harshly. "Yeah."

He unlocked the door, opened it, and stepped out, not looking back. He couldn't. He didn't know if he would have the strength to do what he decided to do, if he saw Nick's face. The door's edge slapped against its frame, echoing in his mind.

He walked past the school gate, eyes trained on his brother. When he was about to speak, an unfamiliar female voice greeted him. He turned to his side. Against the stone walls surrounding the school, leaning casually, was a girl with bleached blond hair in another school's uniform. She waved at him, smiling as if she knew him. She looked familiar.

"Hiiii, you're Joe, right?"

Joe frowned at the familiarity she was showing him. "Who are you?"

She pouted in exaggeration. "Oh, how cold. Don't you remember me?" She adjusted her posture as if it would help his memory, fists resting on her waist, a cocky grin on her face. Her dull blue eyes were a familiar color.

"I don't know you," he dismissed flatly and began to walk away.

"It sure was a surprise to find out that monster was capable of making friends. I wonder what he had to do to have such a hot guy like you as his friend. Must be something no one else can give, or something he's _really _good at, since you don't have that many close friends yourself." The iciness in her voice, the implications. He remembered.

Joe turned swiftly just as she winked at him and started to walk away. She disappeared around the corner while his feet refused to budge.

He remembered. She was Nick's cousin. He wondered how he could have forgotten such a condescending smirk. Perhaps, because there had been too many girls that had approached him in the past who thought they really knew him. However, he couldn't wipe away the image of her expression in his mind, as if she really knew something. He repressed a foreboding shudder and found his brother had gone during the small exchange.

Joe gripped the handles of his bag and walked in the direction of his home, the spot beside him, usually occupied by Nick, was empty. His steps felt heavy, burdened.

The ride on the bus and train was quiet, despite the loud commuters and car horns and train tracks. When he got home, the house was dim and silent. Stepping back outside, he saw the gardener tending to his mother's priced flowers.

"Ah, Joe. You must be looking for your parents," the man said without being asked. "I just saw them leave with Kevin. I heard about some formal dinner."

Joe wasn't really curious. He was accustomed to coming home to an empty house, but he felt that distinct hurt again. And it was growing, eating him up. Without much thought, his feet carried him out of his yard, past his gates, and down the street to the bus stop. After the seemingly too long ride, he found himself at Nick's doorstep.

He raised his fist to knock, knuckles colliding against the surface, sound echoing in the narrow hallway. There was no answer. He bit his lower lip, chastising himself for being incapable of even following through with his own restrictions and plans. He felt weak, even against his own urges and wants. He wanted Nick, but he shouldn't. And yet, there he was, in front of the boy's door. His fist uncurled and his palm rested against the flat surface, sliding down, giving up. Head bowed, he began to turn; go back to his empty house.

There was some shuffling on the other side of the door that made him pause. He heard the sounds of locks turning before the door opened to reveal a still pissed-off Nick. The apartment's light framed his figure, expression hidden in part shadow, judging and wary.

Joe looked up beneath his veil of bangs, meeting the narrowed eyes.

"I..." _I'm sorry. I'm a coward, but it's not so easy to let go._

Joe lowered his eyes. But he couldn't say it out loud. Even now, he was still debating whether he should stay or runaway.

"Bastard," Nick growled, but he raised his hand anyways, cupping the back of Joe's neck and pulling him inside.

The door shut behind them as their breaths and lips met. The kiss was harsh and deep, with anger behind it. But he took Nick's anger in, accepted what he had caused. They moved around the apartment, knocking things off shelves and end tables, tripping over their feet. He landed with a grunt on the hardwood floor, his elbows hurting. Nick's body covered his, hands pushing him down. Hurried fingers pulled at his buttons, pried open his zipper and reached for his cock. Teeth grazed his cheek, nipping at it unkindly as the hand around him pumped him harder. He arched into the touch, breath becoming short.

Joe's hands grasped at Nick's back, grabbing the fabric of his shirt. He ran his hands down Nick's body until he held the low hem of loose pajama pants. With an effortless tug, roaming hands, and a few whispered curses, their clothes lay next to them or clung stubbornly to an arm or a leg.

Nick lapped down Joe's abdomen, pausing along his waist, kissing his side, and sucking on the slick flesh enough to leave a mark. Seeming satisfied, he continued downward until his breath caressed the crown of Joe's cock.

Joe shuddered under the tease as Nick tongued the underside of his erection, spit making it slick. The tongue lapped mercilessly, until Nick slipped Joe into his mouth. Joe grabbed onto Nick's shoulders, caught between pushing Nick for more or to stop as the pleasure became almost too much.

Sucking lazily, Nick let the cock slip from his mouth as he crawled up Joe's body to join their lips once more. Nick reached into Joe's forgotten bag and retrieved the lube they knew was in there.

In the dimness of Nick's living room, lying over scattered playing cards on the floor, their bodies moved. They fucked. On his hands and knees, Joe grunted as Nick pulled out slowly, only to thrust quickly back in. His knees hurt from skidding on the hard floor but the pain was soon forgotten as Nick quickened his thrusts, plunging deeper and harder.

Joe heard and felt Nick's moans against his ear. Felt the boy's chest slide against his back and panted as the arm wound around him tightened while a hand sought and pumped his erection. He cried out as Nick's teeth clamped onto the juncture between his neck and shoulder, followed by a powerful thrust. His body shuddered, his ears rang, and spots blinked behind his closed eyelids.

Nick's anger was apparent in every stroke, grunt, and kiss, but perhaps his forgiveness was laced in them too. Joe felt Nick bury his face against the back of his head, lips pressing into his scalp. Nick shuddered against him as he came inside Joe, voice husky as he cried out.

Joe winced as Nick pulled out and allowed the boy to turn him over, slipping his erection into a hot mouth and sucking him off until he too came. He gripped the brown curls in his fists as Nick sucked and lapped him clean. Lips released his cock and moved to kiss along his hipbones, abdomen, and back to the side of his waist, licking the red mark.

Joe lay on the floor with Nick's head resting on his stomach, sweat drying quickly, breathing evening out. His fingers ran lazily through the damp curly hair as Nick's thumb pressed and caressed the mark he made on Joe's side.

Neither spoke then, nor after they had dragged themselves to Nick's bed, collapsing tiredly.

Joe woke in the evening, the streetlights seeping into the dark room.

In his sleep, Nick often snored lightly, his mouth open in a way that Joe was always tempted to kiss. When Nick slept, he would turn on his side in the middle of the night, his back to Joe. When Joe wound his arm around Nick's waist, the other boy would grumble and remove his arm. After a few tries, Nick would accept the arm and turn over to hold onto Joe, lips against his neck, tickling his skin. One time, Joe had asked Nick in his sleep if he loved him. Silence had followed and Nick burrowed further against his neck and slept without waking or answering.

Joe watched Nick sleep now, eyes moving beneath his closed eyelids, fingers twitching every now and then. He got up from the bed, bare feet moving across the cold floor, knees stinging from earlier. He picked his clothes up, probably grabbing Nick's shirt instead of his in the dark. Dressed, he took Nick's keys, exited the apartment, locked the door, and then slipped the key through the gap between it and the floor. He adjusted the straps of the bag on his shoulder and went back to his empty house.

* * *

><p>. . .<p>

With Love, Carlie :D

(Sometimes, I feel that the :D face is a little unnecessary or inappropriate at the end of such chapters as these. But, I feel that if I left it off, it would be incomplete, or someone would comment about it, asking if I were depressed or something, because I did not finish with a big smile...)

Review/comment, please? I love them so much. Tell me your thoughts. :)


	26. Rumors

I was a little late today, but that's 'cause it's my birthday today. Yay. :)

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><p>I wish I could gush to you guys about everything I write about, but then I feel that the reading experience would be spoiled. All I will say is that I enjoy this story greatly. Add a smile to that. :)<p>

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><p>Chapter 26 — Rumors: Encounters are Merely Future Farewells<p>

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><p>Hazel eyes slid open in the dim room, lit only by streetlights outside. Nick gazed at the empty spot beside him. His eyes narrowed, hands drawing into fists. He pushed himself off the bed, striding to the washroom to brush his teeth, to wash Joe's taste from his mouth. He turned on the shower, cursed when the water was still cold, and washed dried sweat and cum off his body. Drying quickly, he re-entered his bedroom and stared at the sheets that he knew smelled like Joe, smelled like them. He put on some clothes and then grabbed a set of linens from the closet and a pillow off the bed. In the living room, he covered the couch with the blankets and threw himself onto the cushioned seats.<p>

Nick gazed at the card-strewn floor and reached for a random card. Bringing it up to the light, a Joker laughed at him. He snorted, flicking the card into the air and closed his eyes before he saw where it had landed.

"There's no way I'm losing sleep over that idiot," he muttered into his pillow. Inhaling deeply, he smelled Joe's shampoo. He had grabbed the wrong pillow. "Fuck." And he slept.

The morning wasn't any kinder than his fitful sleep had been. The traffic was too noisy, the people too irritating, hauling with them tired spirits that did not look forward to yet another routine day. In his rush to catch the train, his foot slipped off a step and he banged his knee against the concrete floor. No one stopped to help, to ask if he was alright. They simply moved around him, some even grunted in annoyance at having his body block the flow of traffic. They had lost two seconds of their life because of him; he may have made them late.

At school, among his friends, the spot beside him was occupied by someone else. Not by Joe. After a briefly shared kiss in the hall, Joe had disappeared for the day. The kiss had been flat, one-sided.

"If you brood anymore, Nick, you'll start to resemble Joe."

Nick sat up straight, accidentally jostling David's side, making him spill his drink on his shirt.

"Damn, Nick! That was my last clean shirt!"

Nick ducked his head, grinning guiltily. "Sorry, man."

Seeming at a loss, probably expecting huffing denial and a provocation to fight, David blinked wordlessly and then shrugged his shoulders. "It's alright. I'll just steal one of Zac's."

"Anyway," Demi sat down at Nick's other side, her fingers combing through his messy hair, always trying to tame the wildness. "What's bugging you?"

Nick dredged up a wide smile, his cheeks pulling painfully. "Nothing, Demi. Can't a guy be quiet without being asked if something was wrong?"

Demi fisted her fingers in his hair, eyes narrowing knowingly, and pulled his head toward hers so they were eye to eye. "Don't lie to me, Jones. Now tell me."

She pulled his head down further until it rested on her lap and her fingers where soothingly raking through his thick hair. He protested and tried to get up, only to have her press the side of his head against her thighs harder.

"Stay!"

He froze, surprised he had responded to her commanding tone. He surrendered, and because he knew she could be stubborn when she decided, he sagged against her and tried not to feel uncomfortable at the uncomfortable position.

"So, why the long face?" she asked cheerfully. He began to suspect that she was enjoying this _too_ much.

"No reason," Nick answered noncommittally, succeeding an awkward shrug despite his odd position. "It's just one of those days, you know?"

She hummed, agreeing. "Yeah, I know how that is. I woke up late today and found out my favorite shirt was in the wash and then I couldn't find my lip-gloss, the cherry flavored one. You remember which one that was, right?" He nodded, encouragingly. "Yeah, anyways, I was sure I had put it in my make-up case, and..."

He listened to her prattle on about her morning, taking note of a few things. But mostly, he was thankful she could be easily distracted. He slid his eyes closed and was lulled into a half-daze. He heard the conversations around him, merging into buzzing white noise. Beside him, he felt David move closer and heard Zac join the group. Zac was a member of the student council, he felt he should ask after Joe, but several minutes passed and he had yet to even say "hello."

Demi's fingers raking through his hair felt nice. Once in a while, she would twist a lock of his hair around her fingers or massage circles against his scalp. _She would have been a cool girlfriend,_ he thought. _Someone easy to read, easy to talk to_. He wondered who she liked now, if she still had a crush on Joe, or if she found someone new. Someone like Grant, who would also be easy to read and she would be able talk to him and he to her, easily.

Joe was difficult to figure out. It was like looking too far for what one sought, when all that was needed was to look beside or within. He didn't want to think about it, but the events of the night before had bothered him. It wasn't fair to be abandoned, to be left behind. It wasn't a nice feeling. It was a terrible feeling. It was like choking with no reprieve in sight—it felt empty. Like that morning's kiss.

"Maybe you should talk to him."

Nick was startled out of his semi-daze, Demi's suggestion coming back to him.

"What?"

He looked up to see Demi bent over him, blocking his light. She whispered and he smelled her bubble gum breath and her cherry flavored lip gloss. Her hair tickled his cheek and she bent lower still.

"I get worried when you get quiet," she said, smiling softly. "I get worried when he smiles and tells me everything's alright."

His eyes widened, giving it away that he was bothered, but no longer caring that she knew. He pushed himself up and off her soft, kilt-clad thighs, away from her cloying feminine fragrance. She relented her hold on him, clutching her arms to her chest as she was prone to do. He got off his seat, grabbed his bag, and almost ran to the cafeteria's exit if it wasn't for the room monitor's warning glance.

Once he was out of the cafeteria, he strode quickly to the stairs and then took the steps two at a time. He reached the student council's room and knocked on the closed door. A voice granted him entry and he slid the door open. There were desks, messy or organized, bare or cluttered... file cabinets, binders on shelves, and a lonely plant by the paper shredder. Rebecca stood by the window, sunlight highlighting her features, softening her. Jared stood by the water cooler, fetching himself a drink. He glanced at Nick curiously, asking with a raised eyebrow what he needed.

"Do you know where—" Nick paused, thinking of another place Joe might be. He shook his head, grinned, and then waved away their inquiring looks. "Ahh... Forget it. I think I know." He left them in bewilderment and trotted to the library. He looked up at the hallway clock, noting lunch period was almost over. Swinging the creaking doors to the library open, he went straight to the stairs, not even bothering to glance through the main floor.

"Joe?" Nick called, listening for a response or any tell-tale sound.

He walked into the place they often occupied, at the corner of the large room, hidden by aged books and sagging shelves. The place was empty.

He sighed and walked to the desk, hooked the leg of the chair with his foot, and slumped onto the seat. His eyebrows furrowed. The seat was warm. He growled under his breath, annoyed at being avoided.

"Asshole."

Nick crossed his arms over his chest and kicked at a nearby chair viciously—the sound thundered in the silent room—favoring the anger instead of the hurt. When the school bell chimed, indicating the end of the lunch period, he didn't move from his seat. He simmered a little more, and then dragged himself to his next class. He didn't see Joe for the rest of the day.

Later, Demi had invited him to go out with them after school because he looked like he needed to lighten up. Even Miley had threatened to drag him if she had to. He hadn't meant to flinch away from her touch or to snap at Demi when she had asked him if he had been alright. He hadn't meant to tell her to stop worrying over him like she knew what had been going on. He hadn't meant to storm off and shove Matt aside when he probably only wanted to help.

He walked up to his usual spot to wait for the train and already he knew they had noticed him. The giggling was louder today. The air seemed ripe with excitement. He couldn't help but sigh in mild frustration. It wasn't the best day to deal with a bunch of over-excited girls and their silly crush.

"Give him the letter already. Quit stalling!" one friend encouraged another.

A succession of nervous talk ensued and then more giggling. His fingers began to idly tap against his side, asking for some form of intervention. Nick hoped the train arrived soon. He was getting suspicious of the looks he was receiving from the girls. Emily, who glared at his arrival, looked like her patience was being pushed to its limits.

"Go on! Do it already. The train's coming!" the girls encouraged.

"But..." a timid voice hesitated.

"Go!"

Nick felt hope blossom when he saw the train's nose a short distant away. Its screaming slide against the tracks was music to his ears. But what he heard ooze from Emily's mouth the next moment had killed that quell of hope and left him daunted, shocked in his place.

"For fuck's sake, give it up, Ashley! He doesn't like girls! He likes guys!" Emily snapped at her friend, her voice echoing easily throughout the open station.

Time seemed to slow as his heartbeat sped up. His head snapped to the side to look at her. She grinned maliciously and gloated to whoever heard her voice.

"That's right, faggot! I saw that lube under your pillow! You think I wouldn't know? I also looked up that guy with you in the picture. He's so popular with girls, but no girlfriend. Why do you think that is? Huh?"

One of her friends gasped, more shocked by her venom than her speculation, it looked like.

"Emily! That's mean!" the appalled one gaped. The other two only laughed.

Encouraged by her friends' laughter, Emily placed her hand on her hips and continued to grin.

"Your mother would be ashamed of you, Monster. Heh, good thing she's dead, huh?"

His eyes grew wide and the train hid his startled cuss. Her friend drew away, looking disgusted. He wanted to move, to scream his pulsing throat out and smack her dirty mouth shut, but he restrained himself and got into the train as soon as the doors slid open. His rage thundered within him, his head throbbed. Nick gritted his teeth against one another, the piercing squeak loud in his head. His breath was coming in short; he could barely breathe.

He felt eyes on him. A woman left her seat when he stood in front of her. Instead of taking it, he offered it to a woman in a business suit. She slid narrow eyes at him and snidely called him a name under her breath, moving away.

_What's the matter, lady? Never met a boy who fucked other boys before?_ He remained standing and glared across him at his reflection on the train's window.

He wasn't concerned with Emily possibly knowing about his relationship with Joe. His anger stemmed more from his lack of reaction. Disappointment left a nasty taste in his mouth. It tasted like dirt and oil, it tasted like failure. He had allowed his mother to be disrespected and had frozen, having done nothing about it. The anger festered within him as he blindly made his way home.

Nick looked out over the rails of his balcony. The moon was huge and prominent against the stark black-blue sky. Dark birds stood balanced on the wires of electric poles, their skeletal legs familiar with the unsteady lines. He imagined he saw their beady eyes gazing at him, but dismissed it as ridiculous and turned back to the lonely moon. An unfinished cup of cold ramen sat by his feet, and his book's pages were turned by the passing wind, the paper snapping against it. He looked below him. The height wasn't impressive, but he imagined it could still break a few bones. It was just a passing thought; suicide had never been one of his choices for escape. Life was too precious. Four lives were given so that he could live. But it didn't mean the thought was never there at times like these.

* * *

><p>Wincing, he realized he'd been biting the inside of his cheek, and stopped. He had gone to bed when he arrived from school earlier, and he had just woken a couple of minutes ago to the quiet of early morning. Sleep escaped him and he had opened his books to try to finish some homework. He thought he was hungry, so he made some more ramen. Only half-way through his meal had he realized the empty feeling within him wasn't hunger.<p>

He spoke to his parents under the light of the moon. He had heard spirits were present around this time. He didn't know if he believed that sort of talk, but he didn't bother with the details. He just felt compelled to talk, and so he did. He apologized to them, to her, for not saying anything after Emily had insulted them. He told them he was sorry he liked a guy, but at the moment that was something he couldn't change. He told them he was angry at how things were turning out, as if things were falling apart at the seams.

He reassured them that he would bring flowers the next time he visited because he had forgotten the last time and only had half a chocolate bar to offer. In the end, he'd eaten it anyway to satisfy the hunger from the walk to their grave stones.

Another passing wind raised his skin into goose-bumps and flirted with his hair. He took that as a sign that they had heard, no matter how ridiculous it had sounded when he thanked them out loud. Picking up his cup of ramen and books, he headed back inside.

Later that night as he fell into sleep again, he dreamed that Emily had been the driver of that truck and she had run them off the road. Over his parents and grandparents rotting bodies, she stood over him and teased him for bending over for a boy. And then she was falling into the train tracks and he jumped in after her.

He awoke in a rush, his dreams already flitting, becoming barely a memory when next he blinked. An ordinary crow pecked around in his balcony before getting startled into flight by a honking car below. He heard the faint buzzing of his alarm clock and searched around his bed to look for it. He found it under his bed, as well as a lovely family of dust bunnies, reminding him it had been a while since he had last cleaned.

He skipped breakfast because the queasy feeling had yet to go away, and opted for a glass of juice instead. He had woken early, so he had time to watch the news, but found it too depressing for the morning, and switched to cartoons instead. The cartoon character exuded a sarcastic and jaded nature as it belted out a series of subtle innuendos that would probably fly over the kids' heads. It was self-assured and world-wary. Just like any first grader who thought they ruled the world. He turned off the television, writing the show off as crap and muttered something about the world being doomed.

He got ready for school and left his apartment, hoping he hadn't forgotten anything, but was too lazy to go back and check. At the train station, he spied two guys sucking face behind a photo booth, their warm breaths mingling in the cool air. He looked away and denied his fascination, tapping his foot for the train to come.

In the school hallway, he brushed by someone's shoulder and apologized. The person shook his head, dismissing it as nothing, but looked at him too long. As he passed by clusters of groups, whispers tugged at him and his sight caught too many hands hiding behind their moving mouths and suspicious eyes gleaming under electric lights.

When he slid open the doors to his first class, it was disconcerting to have all conversation cease and curious pairs of eyes slide his way. He furrowed his eyebrow and bit the inside of his cheek.

"What the hell are you looking at?" he asked, glaring at the entire room. Some eyes averted him while a few bravely assessed him. Conversation started up once more, but was more subdued, withdrawn. He strode past his classmates and found his seat surrounded by his friends. Demi tugged at her hair nervously while Miley glared at a few would-be inquirers. Matt had his feet propped up on someone else's seat while Evan offered Nick some potato chips.

Nick looked into the bag at the greasy thin slices and shook his head with a "no thanks."

David chewed the eraser end of a pencil and spat pink rubber bits on the floor. Nick saw the space between Demi's eyebrows furrow in disgust. Selena poked David's shoulder with a dainty finger as if to scold.

Nick pulled his seat away from his unoccupied desk and sat down. He still felt eyes on him, but could care less.

"What the hell's going on?" He addressed his friends.

"Nick..." Selena began.

"Everyone's yakking about you and Joe," David said. "As if they have nothing else to talk about!" The last bit he turned around to yell at the entire room.

"What?" Nick asked, leaning back in his seat.

"A couple of girls heard someone accuse you yesterday at the train station. After you left, they apparently talked about it some more. So the idiotic fan club is having a hissy fit at finding out Joe was involved. Everyone else is just yakking along. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if it was someone else. But you know how popular Joe is," Matt explained.

Just as Matt finished explaining, the door slammed open to reveal five girls who Nick identified as avid fans of Joe. The unspoken leader strode quickly toward their group and began ranting as soon as Nick could smell and gag at her strong perfume.

"You stay away from Joe, you pervert! Don't you touch him! It's not true! It's not true what they say! Joe would never even look at trash like you! You don't deserve to breathe the same air as him—"

"Yeah, stay away, you monster!" three others echoed.

Miley stood noisily off her seat, long hair whipping behind her as she moved in front of the angry group.

Nick felt Selena's tentative touch on his forearm, meant to reassure. He didn't know why he needed reassurance; he was hardly bothered. They could find out about him and Joe for all he cared.

"Alright! That's enough, you idiots!" Miley screamed at the still raving girls. "Stop making fools out of yourselves! You have no say in what Joe or Nick do with their lives!" She turned to the class and with her commanding eyes, met every gaze, before grating out in a low scolding tone, "And as for the rest of you. This doesn't concern you! So shut up!"

The unspoken leader of the group squawked, insulted at Miley's treatment of her and began yet another series of ranting.

"Suck it up, Princess! Get over it!" Miley pushed the protesting group out of the class and slammed the door closed. She was about to address the class once more when Nick intervened.

"Miley, it's alright. Don't worry about it." He grinned past a frown and waved her over to take a seat.

He sagged against his chair and eyed the bright ceiling. He squinted his eyes until it was bright enough to make them water, and took a long pull of air. Shaking his head to clear it, he flashed a convincing grin to his friends and started unpacking his bag. Matt and Evan were alright with the circumstances, it seemed. He almost smiled at that.

Just as he lifted his head away from looking into his school bag, the doors slid open once more and Joe entered the room. Like a thunder clap, the room erupted into a volley of questions and talk. What was once suppressed inquiries now flew from every each end of the room and joined the tangle of noise.

Nick's heartbeat rivaled the loudness of the room. He watched at Joe's dispassionate eyes blinked away the chaos as if it was nothing. Nick saw the tight line that was the lips he had loved to kiss, the sparse wrinkles on the pressed uniform, the slight dangle of raven hair surrounding that pale face.

Perhaps, he had imagined those eyes briefly searching him out, but it was too quick to distinguish imagination from reality.

Nick felt tightness in his throat, a flutter in his stomach, and lead weighing his feet down, making him unable to reach out and call.

He held no care for Emily knowing; for the entire school knowing. He could live with the taunts and the rumors spoken behind his stiff back. He could go on being angry at being ignored and avoided...

_As long as..._

"Joe, is it true? You and Jones are really—"

"Joe, please say it isn't true!"

"Hey, Joe! I always thought you were—"

"Joe..."

"Joe."

"Joe!"

"No."

The noise ceased. A painful tickle went up Nick's nostrils, watering the edge of his eyes involuntarily. His mouth gaped open, not a sound escaping. Throughout his being, he felt this feeling of falling, salvation flowing futilely past his fingers. Joe's voice pulsed in his ears, slammed against him, and he heard glass breaking.

Anger rose from what died within and before he knew it, he was running toward Joe, teeth bared and eyes flashing. He shoved people away and grabbed Joe by his shirt collar, their noses touching.

"What the fuck did you say?" He imagined he could lift Joe by sheer anger alone, but he knew he wasn't that strong. He gripped at the fabric in his hands tighter, knuckles showing white under his stretched skin.

Joe's breath was even, compared to his own. His demeanor was without fault, pulsating with a silent power.

"I said 'no.' There is nothing between us, Jones."

Nick growled.

Joe wouldn't meet his eyes, staring past the side of his head to something else, but his hands drew up to grab at Nick's own shirt.

Nick felt it, before it even occurred. He felt the pull for power, before Joe used that drawn power to shove him away.

"Don't touch me," he heard faintly in his ringing ears.

Nick's back collided with the hard floor, bone banging and shaking in pain. His skin pinched with hurt, and he might have slammed the back of his head on a nearby desk before falling. He faintly heard his friends' protest and the collective gasps from others.

But the familiar sound of metal shuffling and hitting the floor was louder than all. His eyes widened as he sat up. And with great reluctance, he looked down at the well swept floor. His lungs refused to draw air, and he denied the watery quality of his sight.

His spiral pendant and its silver chain gleamed mockingly on the floor.

He didn't care for what the rest of the world thought. As long as... what they had wasn't denied, wasn't made untrue, wasn't ripped away from his hands.

Anger, fury, and something else—something too timid to yell—watched Joe turn and walk away.

Even though they had exchanged a lot of words, they still couldn't understand each other completely. He had known it from the start, but thought it would be different, and that he was wrong.

He clutched the pendant and chain in his hands.

_Joe!_

His scream hurt his head, but never made it past his lips.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p>

Oh, passion. You're my favorite.


	27. Distractions

I never said this before, but I should have. As opposed to posting chapters on YouTube, beside the advantage of being able to post longer chapters, I _love_ the fact that I can _italicize_ text. It makes things _so_ much simpler, and actually, more grammatically correct in some cases. _Score!_ :)

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><p>Chapter 27 — Distractions<p>

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><p>The jingle of swinging bells announced their arrival at the local ramen joint. A wave of warmth and the rich fragrance of noodles and broth curled around and pulled them further inside. Heads looked up from their meal, a few familiar faces smiled and waved in greeting.<p>

"Nick! It's been awhile. How have you been?" the shop's owner, Vivian, gestured for them to come in just as a waitress waved and led them to a vacant table.

He smiled, thanking the waitress, Rachael, and returned a few greetings as they sat. Demi and Grant took their seats, leaving one chair empty, where upon Demi placed their bags.

Nick noticed Grant had held the door and now the chair for Demi. He wanted to snicker at how flattered she looked, but restrained himself for fear of ruining the moment. As soon as she wasn't looking though, he slapped an approving hand over Grant's shoulder, grinning in amusement. Grant for his part turned a deep shade of red not befitting a guy, but grinned back with pride.

They took a moment to look the menu over, or rather, Demi and Grant did. Nick knew the menu inside and out. He worked there, after all.

"Wow, there's so much to choose from. Oh! I like that, but..." Demi tugged at her hair, eyes and index finger moving over the choices as she chewed her lips in thought.

Grant looked like he wanted to help Demi with her choice, but backed off, and was smart enough to know that she was a big girl and could manage on her own. Nick shook his head and looked over the menu even though he had no need to. It was just something to do.

"Can I get you guys something to drink?" Rachael came back, tucking her hair behind her ears. The place was packed—he could see she was tired—but her smile was still genuine.

Having already decided what they wanted, they ordered their drinks and their meal. Excusing himself, Nick made his way to the owner, behind the bar. He leaned over and waved a greeting, showing his best smile.

"Hey, Viv."

"Hey, kid. How's everything? We miss you around here," she welcomed, ruffling Nick's hair as she was prone to do.

"It's all good," he lied. "I was wondering if you could squeeze me in for a few shifts."

Vivian, ever perceptive, eyed him seriously. "What's the matter, kid? You in some kind of trouble?"

Nick laughed softly, waving the concern away. "Nothing like that, Viv. I just miss this place, you know? Besides, I got a lot of time on my hands all of a sudden."

The owner flicked Nick's forehead, raising a skeptical brow. "You're a terrible liar. But yeah, I could actually use you. These trainees are more trouble than anything else. Bunch of thumb-less monkeys." She shook her head in dismay.

Nick grinned sheepishly. He was never good at lying. "So you got something for me?"

"Yeah." She took out the schedule book, paper yellowed with age and constant use, everything written in her beautiful, illegible scrawl. She never did like to rely on technology, despite Rachael's prompting that everything should be saved in the less frequently used computer at the back room. "I have a few afternoons vacant and some of the weekend staff took days off, hacking out some half-assed excuses. When are you available?"

Grinning, Nick scratched the back of his head. "Heh. All of them?"

Vivian leaned over, using her arms to support her upper body over the smooth counter's surface. "Okay, give. Last time I needed you, you were so busy, you barely had time to make excuses before you hung up the phone."

A flash of memory intruded his mind. Joe had leaned over him, pulling the phone away, returning it to its cradle, before nipping on his ear and covering his body with his.

Nick heard Demi call him over, her voice sufficiently chasing the image away. His meal had arrived. He pushed away from the bar, away from Vivian's well-meaning eyes. "It's nothing, Viv. Like I said, I missed this place."

"Don't insult my intelligence, kid. Go get some food in you. You look like you need it. Stop by before you disappear again. We'll work your schedule out."

Nick nodded, thanking her. Her attitude may be grating at times, but she was a cool boss. She was easy to talk to and only treated him like a kid when he acted like one. He had gotten the job originally by fluke. Being a regular customer, he'd come to know the going-ons of the business, as well as the clientele. One day, the place had unexpectedly become busy, with only a skeleton of a staff on hand. He had volunteered to help. He did very well, and she hadn't let him leave until he had filled out a form and got paid.

Running his fingers through his hair, he decided to leave the thinking for later. Making a bee-line toward his hot, long awaited meal, he prepared an excuse she might believe.

Taking his seat, he noticed Demi's curious look, but she didn't say or ask anything.

"How is it?" he asked after they had tasted their respective meals.

Grant was busy slurping noodles from his bowl, so he turned to Demi, who was trying to eat as cleanly as she could. But eating noodles was a messy job. She seemed to be faring well, though. Placing her chopsticks down, she patted a napkin over her lips.

"It's wonderful Nick. We should bring the others here next time."

He gave a smile that didn't quite reach his eyes. He agreed with her and then turned back to his own bowl without further comment.

"I mean everyone, Nick," she pursued carefully, with great emphasis.

"Ah, Demi, perhaps this isn't the time to..." Grant warned as gently as he could, a little flustered.

Demi waved him away and leaned over. Nick could see her determined expression from the corner of his eye.

"You're not going to let it go just like that, are you? Without any explanation?" she pressed further.

"But Demi, I think they need space. At the moment, things seem to be..." Grant interjected.

"What? No way. This is the best time to talk it out. Before they have the time to think things out and forget."

"I don't think what happened could be easily forgotten, Demi." Grant winced.

"Of course not! But the longer it gets, the more time they have to hide and ignore it!" She turned to Grant then, to get her point across.

Nick wiped his mouth, feeling as if they had forgotten he was there. Their voices seemed to fade and the injuries he had received earlier throbbed in reminder of what had passed.

As soon as Joe had turned his back on him, Nick had collected himself desperately. He had launched himself toward Joe, anger renewed. Joe had looked surprised and had been open to his attack, but Grant had gotten in the way out of nowhere, and Matt and David had held Nick down. Joe had left the class then and Demi had run after him. Nick had been led to the infirmary by Selena. His friends had insisted he get someone to take a look at his injuries, no matter how small. He could have lived with the injuries; he hardly felt them. Besides, his scrapes and bruises weren't the part of him that hurt the most.

Nick played with the edge of his adhesive bandage, the sticky part clinging to his fingers. He listened with half an ear to Grant and Demi's argument. Grant was the first to admit defeat, a rare occurrence for the senior, but Nick guessed love could do that to a person.

"See you tomorrow, Nick!" Demi waved, disappearing into a packed bus with Grant.

Nick blinked in surprise, feeling disoriented as he stood two blocks away from the ramen shop. The soles of his shoes scraped against the pavement as he made a slow full turn, coming face to face with the bus stop once more. The smell of spices was lifted off his uniform by the breeze, telling him he hadn't imagined going into the shop. He tried to recall how he had gotten to the bus stop, but drew a startling blank.

Scratching his head in thought, he walked the few blocks to go home. Nick heard the whoosh of cars passing by, felt the mild heat of the setting sun on his shoulders and remembered the cool kiss of glass on his palm when he slid his balcony door open. He couldn't recall anything more as he found himself once again at a different place.

He stood outside on his balcony and gripped the rails with nerveless fingers as his knees buckled underneath him.

"What the hell?" He wanted to know.

Dizziness assailed him, bile rising up his throat, sour and thick; tasting slightly of ramen. Blood drained from his face, his knees gave out and he fell on his ass. On the cement floor of his balcony, he sat still, unfeeling. His heart beat loud in his ears.

When he lifted his head next, it was already evening. His apartment was heartbreakingly silent. It was also dark, because he hadn't turned any lights on when he came home. He got up unsteadily and went inside. He flopped down onto the couch and laughed softly, bitterly.

"Oh." The exclamation, although uttered softly, had been too loud, shaking him deep within.

Nick reached inside his pocket and pulled out his pendant and chain. Joe had given it back to him. Wasn't this what he had wanted all along? He pondered. But, things had changed, and now he longed for something different, for someone else. How selfish was that? He laughed despairingly.

Separating the clasps, he slid the chain around his neck and fastened it close at the back. He waited for the relief that came with the knowledge that the pendant was once again his. It came, he felt it, but it wasn't what he had expected. He shrugged in the darkness. In time, he thought, it would feel like it belonged to him again.

The following days were filled with frantic jogs from school to work. As promised, Viv had given him shifts starting an hour after school and lasting until nine in the evening, which gave him plenty of time to do his homework once he came home. On days that he didn't work, he spent more time with friends, going over to their houses, or to the arcade, or they sometimes visited him at work. His routine had changed dramatically. He'd discovered more things about his friends that he hadn't known before. He had met their families and even their pets. It was as if a chapter of his life had closed and a new one had begun.

He looked through the glass, to the people and cars that zoomed past, and he corrected himself. He refused to accept that that chapter was over. He never did like unhappy endings.

* * *

><p>"Hey, Nick! If you have time to gawk, you have time to help out at the back," Viv chided from behind the bar.<p>

He finished wiping the table quickly and carried the dishes to the sink, winking at his boss as he passed. Pushing the swinging doors open, his eyes widened at the piles of dishes waiting to be washed. Their busiest time had been fifteen minutes ago. Now, only a few regulars would be trickling in, giving them time to recover from the rush and get ready for the next.

He ran his fingers through his hair and then rubbed at his eyes tiredly. He had forgotten what it was like to work several days in a row. It was exhausting and very demanding on the body and mind. Sleep hadn't been coming too easily as well, and somehow, school work had doubled. Or so it seemed. He walked to one of the sinks and began placing the dirty tableware into the dishwasher. Distractedly, he threw out leftovers into the trashcan as he remembered why it felt as if the workload would never end.

They had done their homework together. Helping each other out, competing who finished first and who got the correct answers. Joe and he had. Sometimes, while in the middle of it, one of them would distract the other with a touch, a kiss, a look, and the work would remain unfinished and forgotten. He remembered finishing the work during the bus ride to school or outside in the hallways before class begun. Joe would smirk at him in that way he had, distracting him even more.

"Hey!"

Nick jumped at the voice and yelped as he was forced into a headlock. His cheek pressed against Vivian's breast as she tightened her hold. He struggled, hands trying to pull her arm away, but failed pathetically.

"Boss..." he groaned, losing air quickly. He tried to wiggle away, but she held on tighter.

"I've been calling you, but you just leered at the dirty dishes. You like spoons that much, Nick?" Viv grinned, turning his head to face her.

"What are you..." He gasped for air. "...Talking about?"

"I'm not paying you to space out. You've been distracted all week," she observed.

"No, I haven't," he denied. She tightened her hold.

"Okay! Okay!" He tapped out, hitting a nearby counter.

She didn't let go of him, but loosened her hold and patted his head briefly. When he stilled at the affectionate touch, she let go.

"Hey, kid. You're worrying us, you know?" she said in that tone that always got him to spill his guts to her.

Stifling a weary sigh, he told her there was nothing to worry about and promptly went back to work. Without turning to see her expression, he knew she was giving him that disappointed look that made him feel like he had kicked a puppy, but he still didn't tell her anything. He stopped a stubborn flinch in time when he felt her squeeze his shoulder reassuringly. She told him that she was there for him if he needed to talk to someone. He nodded in thanks and then she smacked him, because thanking her meant there was something wrong and he had just lied to her. He rubbed at his smarting head and glared at his boss's retreating form, hearing her mutter something about the stubborn youth of today.

"Crazy old hag..." Nick sighed and went back to work. He wondered why he was surrounded by females who just loved to mother him. He smiled softly then. It was small, but it was real. In truth, he was thankful for them. They cared.

* * *

><p>He didn't have work on Saturday, and David had invited him to come over to his place. Zac had bought the cowboy game for him as a gift and David couldn't wait to kick Nick's ass. Ignoring who the game reminded him of, Nick agreed and promised David a good ass kicking. Zac of course would also be joining them. Matt and Evan had backed out, claiming to have been kidnapped by both their parents for a family friend's baby shower. With long suffering faces, they had trudged their way home, making sure to drag their soles against the pavement, asking for their pity. Instead, they had laughed at the pair and wished them plenty of luck.<p>

David's room was, predictably, a mess. Clothes were strewn everywhere—on the bed and on the floor. A sock clung precariously on a lampshade and Nick side-stepped a banana peel. _Seriously. A banana peel._

"Your room's a sty, David." It was the obvious, but it still had to be said, in case the condition of his room had fully escaped David's notice.

Kicking a few things under his bed and pulling the comforter over some clothes on the mattress, David turned to him and grinned. "This just means that I'm a real man, Nick. I'm not picking anything up. That's for the women to do."

For his bravado, his sister, who had entered the room in time to hear the entire thing, beat him to within an inch of his life.

"No, it just means you're still a kid who constantly has to be reminded to clean after himself." She snorted, placing a tray of snacks and drinks on a less cluttered part of David's desk.

Picking himself up, David frowned at her turned back. Nick held in the snicker that wanted to escape and he turned to see Zac doing the same.

Suddenly, she turned and looked him up and down, making Nick feel self-conscious.

"How have you been, Nick?" she inquired. He had only seen her once or twice, since she was hardly home, usually in school or at work.

"I'm fine, thanks."

She grinned and he noted David grinned the same way; with a lot of teeth. Nick had seen a cat boldly scratch a dog's nose once. High on life, it probably thought it could escape easily. But there had been construction in that alley that week and the way had been blocked. After rubbing its nose against its leg, the dog had looked at his then attacker. David and his sister's grin reminded Nick of the look on that dog's face once it had realized the cat had nowhere else to go.

"David!" she pointed at her brother. "Clean up a little, will ya? One of your friends might get hurt. And there's this smell in here." She sniffed and waved a hand in front of her nose. "Find it and get rid of it."

"Yeah, yeah," David grumbled. He started picking up the clothes scattered all over his floor and tossing them to a nearby laundry basket. Zac set up the game and Max, David's dog, waltzed in, sniffed around, and climbed onto David's bed like it owned the place.

"Okay, you boys have fun. You're staying for dinner, aren't you?" Before Nick could protest, she answered for them, winking as she left the room.

"If you die from her cooking, I'm not responsible," David muttered under his breath. Max's chew-toy hit David's turned back. Nick looked outside the room to see the woman descending the stairs.

"I think she likes you," David teased.

Shaking his head, Nick grabbed a nearby chair to sit on and took the game controller Zac offered him. They started the game, noise bouncing off the wall. Zac rested his back against the bed's side just as David climbed onto the bed. He lay on his stomach, arms circling Zac's shoulders, chin resting on one.

Nick looked away, flushing a little. He knew they were together. However, the pair hardly showed affection. David had done most of the obvious touching, and the way he threw his arms around Zac was sometimes more than just friendly. But if Nick had never found out about their relationship, he would just see them as close friends. Nick flushed a little more, remembering where he was. His eyes darted to David's bed, and he didn't dare imagine what had gone on in this room when the pair had been alone.

"Damn, Nick! Zac's kicking your ass!" David laughed.

Shaking his distraction away, Nick had enough time to dodge Zac's attack, but was far too late to save his character as it was shot by Zac's. He groaned and hit the button to play again. He concentrated on winning this time. A couple of games later, David had joined in. Nick excused himself to go to the washroom while the pair was busy playing.

Coming back, Nick paused just as he was about to enter David's room. He had pulled the door closed when he left, fearing the game's noise would irritate David's sister, but the latch must have caught and the door hadn't closed properly. Through the sliver of an opening, Nick saw Zac's head turned to David as David kissed him hungrily, hands pulling Zac's shirt up to reveal tight, toned abs. One of Zac's hands, the one not holding the controller, was buried in David's wild hair, pulling the head closer. One of the boys groaned loudly and Nick was startled enough to step back. He continued his backward walking until he could no longer see into the room. His thighs encountered a low table in the hallway and he leaned onto it. He felt the embarrassing tightness in his pants and closed his eyes in frustration.

Upon seeing David and Zac, he had recalled a time when he was doing his school work, sitting on the floor and using the bed as a makeshift desk. Joe had come up behind him and kissed his breath away. Remembering how David's hand had crawled down Zac's chest reminded him of how Joe had reached around him and slid a hand into his pants. Nick gripped the table's edge as his body remembered clearly how Joe's hand had wrapped around him and stroked with sure fingers until he came. His ears felt warm just as they had been then when Joe's breath caressed the side of his face and his mouth left open and wet kisses on the nape of Nick's neck.

Sighing loudly, Nick went back to the washroom and threw cold water on his face. He waited until his erection went away enough that it wasn't obvious. He wasn't about to jack off at his friend's washroom with them two rooms away and David's sister downstairs cooking their dinner. Even if that wasn't the case, jacking off at someone else's house just didn't sit well with him. He groaned pathetically when he recalled almost giving Joe a blowjob that one time they came over to Evan's place for a barbecue party.

"That's just sad, Nick," he berated himself. "Just a week away from the guy, and you can't even think straight."

Gathering his wits about him and schooling his expression into one of nonchalance, he made his way back into the room, making sure his footsteps were loud enough to be heard. He looked through the gap first before entering, making sure he wasn't about to walk into something that was potentially embarrassing for all of them.

"Hey, where'd you go? Get lost?" Zac asked and Nick couldn't meet the boy's eyes when he saw the well-kissed lips.

Plopping back onto his vacated seat, he grabbed a cookie off the snack tray and found his controller where he had left it. He shrugged, not really knowing how to tell Zac, _Oh, just saw both of you sucking face, got a hard-on, and had to take a couple of minutes to tell it to go away_, so he kept his mouth shut.

The game continued on until they were called down for dinner. Despite David's claims on his sister's lack of cooking skills, dinner was wonderful. Even the dog's food looked edible. She served them at least two portions each, and Nick was too nervous to protest. Something other than ramen in his stomach was good once in a while.

He didn't leave until early evening, and was sent home with a bag of food enough for five people. Zac was sleeping over, which didn't surprise Nick much, so he traveled home alone. At the train station, he saw his cousin flirting with some guys and he only shook his head at how easy she made herself sound. Despite recalling all the harsh things she had said to him, he still couldn't help but feel protective toward her. She looked so small when standing among such tall, built young men. She was still family. Besides, he just felt unsettled for any girl surrounded by a bunch of guys. He felt a measure of relief, however, when he saw that two of her friends were with her.

At home, he put on music to fill the silence. Upon entering his bedroom, he was assailed with Joe's lingering scent. He furrowed his eyebrows. He had been sleeping on the couch for most of the past days and had only used his bedroom to get clothes and such. He scrambled quickly to his front door, pushed it open, and ran a finger over the keyhole. He paused in his careful scrutiny and almost laughed at how ridiculous he was being.

He snorted. Right, as if he could tell that Joe had been in his apartment simply by looking at his door lock.

"You're losing it, man," he murmured, closing the door. He went back to his room to get out of his school clothes. As he was about to slip into a pair of pajamas, he changed his mind. Instead, he took a shower, jacked off, and spent the rest of the night watching cars outside his balcony.

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><p>Waving goodbye to the night staff, Nick stepped out of the shop. He pulled his school jacket closer when the wind picked up, adjusted his bag on his shoulders, and made his way toward the bus stop. Claiming a bench, he fished for his student pass while he waited for his ride. He could walk home, but he was too exhausted to even attempt those few blocks.<p>

Catching sight of a car slowing out of the corner of his eye, Nick stopped cleaning his nails with his bus pass and looked up. He eyed the car that had stopped in front of the bus shelter. There weren't any stop lights or signs nearby, he noted. He wondered if the driver was lost. The dark window from the passenger's side slipped down and Nick was caught off guard for a moment to see Joe gazing at him. As the light of the car's interior came on, he realized it wasn't Joe. It was his brother. He tried to recall the name.

"Kevin?" he asked, voice lifting higher to beat the noise of traffic.

Kevin gestured for him to come closer, and he felt stupid when he actually did, leaning into the window like how parents and teachers in elementary school told kids to never do.

"Nick. Do you need a ride?" The deep timbre of the man's voice startled him.

Nick agreed when he looked into the pair of dark eyes and the all-too serious expression, but he kicked himself mentally for it.

"Uhh," Nick stuttered, wishing for a more intelligent reply. "No, I'm alright, Kevin."

Nick frowned at the almost smile on Kevin's face, but when he checked again, it seemed as if it had never been there.

"I apologize. You must be wondering why I'm here. I saw you. You're sort of easy to spot." There was definitely a small smile then. Nick was sure. "How about I park somewhere nearby, and we can go for some coffee and dessert. We never really did get to talk."

Nick recalled that time. The crossing lights, sunset colors, and Joe's palpable fury. That had been when Nick had felt the shift in Joe, when suddenly his friend became diminished.

Nick checked his watch and noted the early hour. He didn't really have a lot of schoolwork to do and coffee and dessert didn't sound so bad. It would also give him a chance to get to know Joe's brother. Maybe even answer a few questions that had been bothering him.

"There's a dessert shop just a block away." Nick pointed to his right. "How about I meet you there?" he suggested.

Kevin looked the direction he pointed with considering eyes. With a brief nod, the man turned on his signal. Nick moved away as the car rejoined the flow of traffic. He walked the block as the sound of the bus screeching to a halt told him he had just missed his ride home.

Nick found Kevin beside his parked car and they went inside together. The place was dimly lit. Soft jazz music buzzed from the hidden speakers and comfortable looking chairs and sofas were arranged in sections. There were also practical chairs surrounding tables on another side, for customers who preferred those over-cushioned seats. The night staff was sociable and welcoming, and most notably running on caffeine.

Nick took a while to consider what he wanted, so he let Kevin order before him. The man was quick and decisive, when Nick was still stuck between choosing coffee or hot chocolate. In the end, he felt hot chocolate was the better choice. They found seats near the window and sat in front of each other.

Nick cradled the cup between his chilled palms and tried to sit still. It was sort of difficult with Kevin's gaze prickling the small hairs on his skin.

"Heh. Nice place, huh? I've never actually been here since I go straight to work, but I should have tried this place out a long time ago..." He stopped himself before he really began rambling.

Kevin merely nodded, not even looking around. He lifted a well-manicured hand to touch the handle of his ceramic cup, but didn't lift it to drink. The action reminded Nick of his own drink, and he was the one that took a sip. Flinching slightly at the hot liquid, he only succeeded in a small slurp before deciding it was still too hot.

After a short silence, Kevin spoke.

"How is school, Nick?" he asked.

Nick looked away from watching the steam curling above his cup and gave the automatic reply. "It's fine, thanks."

A stray lock of hair fell into Kevin's face, making Nick's finger itch to move it away.

"Really?" his companion asked.

"Yeah." The man, Nick thought as Kevin pushed the rebellious hair back in its place, was distracting. Every move he made demanded attention. Nick found his ears singling out even the softest sigh of fabric against fabric.

"I've visited your school and had noticed your name was among the top ten students on the honor role. That's a feat worth mentioning, don't you think?"

_So the guy wasn't just making conversation_, Nick thought.

"It's no big deal," Nick quickly dismissed.

"Has it always been that way?"

A small ball of discomfort dropped in the pit of his stomach. Nick turned his cup around, its bottom sliding against the face of the saucer. "No, I didn't even use to be among the top fifty students." He grinned sheepishly.

"That's wonderful. What motivated you to do better?" Kevin looked like he really wanted to know, but the man was hard to read. Really, Nick was just guessing.

"It wasn't what." At Kevin's curious raise of a brow, Nick elaborated. "It was who. Someone motivated me to do better."

Kevin made an understanding sound and gazed out through the looking glass.

"J-Joe is among the top three. Isn't that amazing?" Nick approached. The name felt heavy on his tongue, but he wanted to know how Kevin felt. A deep silence followed, and then Kevin turned away from the sight of the outdoors.

"Yes, but he's not the first, or even the second," Kevin said.

"What?" Nick stood in surprise, the legs of his chair scraping against the floor. A few heads turned his way. He wanted to demand why the man thought so little of Joe's accomplishment, but restrained his sudden anger first. At that moment, he had felt protective of Joe. It had surprised him as much as Kevin's reply had. He took his seat once more and looked expectantly at Kevin.

"Joe works hard to keep his place. Isn't that something you can be proud of?" he asked, frowning.

Kevin rested his elbows on the table's surface, intertwining his fingers and looking at Nick as if speaking to a child. "But he shouldn't have to work hard, Nick. It should come to him easily. I believe he has been distracted. If he focused more, his name would be at the top of that list, without fearing that it would be taken away."

Nick was taken aback as he began to understand what sort of guy Kevin was; the realization only left him more confused. "Distracted? Joe has never been anything but focused."

Kevin sat back, his hands falling to finger the smooth edge of the ceramic cup. As if deep in thought, he began to explain. "Has Joe ever told you, Nick? That in our family we are expected to achieve great heights, and once we've reached them, to climb even higher?"

Nick got that impression a while ago. He nodded for Kevin to continue.

"In our family, Nick, our spoons do not touch. Our hands rarely meet and words of acknowledgement are almost never given. To receive that pat on the back, one has to accomplish something extraordinary."

"So, what are you saying?" Nick had to ask, even though he was starting to get the idea.

"Have you spoken to Joe lately, Nick?" Kevin answered with his own question. He started to get up, straightening the wrinkles off his coat.

"What?" Nick faltered. "No, I haven't lately."

Rising to his full height, Kevin tilted his head and with an almost-smile, he said, "I'm saying, that's good, Nick."

The man left Nick blinking in his wake. Only when the bell sounded as the door opened and then closed did he understand what Kevin had meant. He got off his seat quickly and ran outside. Kevin was about to get into his car when Nick stopped and stood a few steps away.

"Joe has accomplished a lot of extraordinary things! Maybe your head's too far up your ass to see it! And no, I won't stay away from him!" Nick spat vehemently.

Kevin blinked in surprise and then a slow smile grew on his handsome face. Without a word, he stepped into his car, revved up the engine, and pulled out of the parking lot.

Nick stood in the parking lot, his body taut with determination. He decided then, that Demi was right. He wasn't going to let Joe go just like that.

* * *

><p>Crystal glasses, golden liquid, and bright chandeliers were everywhere. Classical music teased his ears. His eyes dined on men in suits, women in gowns, shiny shoes, and high-heeled soles. Joe scuffed the toe of his expensive dress shoes on the plush carpet, leaned against the banister, and looked over at the meandering mass. It had been ages since he had agreed to come to one of these galas his parent's colleagues threw. As he sighed in boredom yet again, he remembered why he had stopped attending. No less than two hours, and he had already begun to regret his decision to come. At first, he had thought that a party was better than holing himself in his room and wallowing in his own stupidity. But now, screaming at himself and yearning futilely seemed more appealing to him compared to this.<p>

He nodded in greeting as a crowd of guys around his age passed by. He remembered a few of them. Familiar faces with forgotten names. They had asked him to join them earlier; he had felt tired just looking at them, and excused himself quickly. He was relieved that they left him alone now. He stayed mostly in the shadows, at the corners, and in the blind spots. He wanted to be alone. No, he only wanted to be with one person. The one he had hurt a week ago.

Leaning his elbows onto the banister, he found his father among the crowd. At another corner, his mother charmed the ladies and the gentlemen. She looked lovely; he should have told her. His father hadn't. Joe planned to tell her later, just so she knew her hard work had been appreciated. But, somehow he knew it wouldn't mean as much to her. It was, as he had predicted, too much to hope that things had changed.

Looking back to where his father sat, Joe recognized a few of the men—CEOs and partners, tycoons of the business world. His father looked regal; important. He looked like he belonged. A chair beside him was empty. Kevin must be somewhere else.

Looking down at his hands, in that moment, Joe could only hope to attain such achievements. He had gotten rid of his distraction. _Now what?_ he asked himself.

"Joe, wasn't it?"

Startled, Joe turned to find the owner of the voice. He found a man in an exquisite suit, long dark hair framing a pale shapely face. He met startling eyes and a smile that felt more personal that it should have. Rendered speechless, Joe could only blink as the man laughed a most boisterous sound. A hand was held out to him and he lifted his hand to meet it, as if pulled by strings.

"Sebastian. An acquaintance of your brother," the man introduced himself. "I'm an administrator for an academy a couple cities over."

"Oh." Joe pulled his hand back, ignoring the urge to wipe it against his slacks.

The man laughed again, as if he knew what Joe had been thinking. Gesturing to the crowd below, Sebastian raised an amused brow at Joe.

"You don't look like you're enjoying yourself. Not your thing, Joe?"

"No," he agreed. "It's not my thing."

He nodded in understanding; they watched the crowd for a while. Feeling like he couldn't help himself, Joe asked how the man knew his brother.

"Oh, we've crossed each other's path on several occasions. Kept the same circles and clashed swords once or twice."

Joe nodded. It was a likely explanation. Most of the people present were connected to each other in some form or other.

"I've heard a lot about you, Joe."

The way Sebastian had said his name compelled Joe to abandon his focus on the crowd, to silent his thoughts and tell his heart _not now_. His eyes widened as Sebastian went on. Every word, every smile, made his excitement grow. The easy going presence that Sebastian had presented earlier had vanished. It had become dominant and the man lorded over his attention. Joe listened avidly.

Suddenly, a path had been handed down to him, and to his shame, he had pounced on it greedily. He told Sebastian that he would think upon it, but they both knew Joe had already agreed.

* * *

><p>The next day, he could barely concentrate in class. He was only too happy to get out of the stifling room and go to the library to find a few reference books he had needed. His hand and eyes skimmed titles absently, mind still running last night's conversation over and over again. In his inattention, he didn't notice the pair of hands that reached for him until he was turned and pressed against the bookshelves. He dropped the few books he carried and stared surprised into very familiar eyes.<p>

"Joe..." A husky whisper.

"Ni—" He was cut off as soft lips descended on his and rendered his knees to useless jelly. The hard body supported him and his arm clutched at Nick's uniform shirt. To pull closer or to push away, he didn't know. The boy's tongue, lips, and teeth trapped him, sucked him in, and he was helpless. Nick's scent assaulted his nose; the hard body against his made him shudder. It made him want to break.

Gathering his quickly scattering wits, he took his lips back and shoved Nick off him. He wiped his mouth on a sleeve and glared heatedly at his one desire.

Nick looked smug. Pleased, as if he had won something. And when Joe had checked on his fragile resolution, Nick might have done just that.

"What the hell are you doing?" he asked once he had enough composure for speech.

A quick hand grabbed his and he felt the kiss of metal on his palm. He didn't have to look down to know what had been given to him.

"Give it back to me when you really mean it, asshole," Nick growled. He swiped his thumb across his wet bottom lip, making Joe recall biting it, and turned to leave.

Left alone, Joe stared down at the spiral pendant and cursed. He sank to the carpeted floor slowly, heaved a sigh, and shut his eyes tight.

He wasn't sure whether it had been a sigh born of frustration, or of relief.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p>

* * *

><p>Hm. I always count how many times I use each of their names once I'm done writing. It's just, I don't know, something I do. Call it OCD or whatever. I've never broke 100. On one chapter, I used Joe's name 99 times. But this time, I used Nick's name over 100 times! (108, if you wanted to know specifics.) Woo. I don't know why I indulge in this. :) Oh, and also, Joe's name was only used half as much. Ha. But yeah, it's probably because my chapters when posting on this site are usually around 3000-5000 words. This one is in the high 6000 range, which means more name usage.<p>

So, now you're asking, _Why is she telling me all this?_ Well, if you _are_ asking that... You suck. Just kidding. I don't know why I told you all that. I just felt it was worth sharing. I'm trying to cut down on my rambles, I swear.

Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I enjoyed writing! Thoughts, anyone? :)


	28. Follow Through

Chapter 28 — Follow Through

* * *

><p>Sunlight left everything vivid and vulnerable. The glare off the whites of many birds' feathers hurt his eyes. He couldn't look at them for long. When they took off, Joe could barely follow their winged bodies as they flew into the sun. He looked away and stepped back further into the shade the tree provided. The plaza was filled with people. Children ran around chasing birds and flew vibrant kites. They tugged earnestly at their parents' sleeves for some coins to give the ice cream man. Students sat in circles, under shades. They studied intensely or grew loud with lively chatter. Dogs fetched sticks. Girls waited for their dates. In the distance, a carousel sang and spun. Somewhere close, he knew there was a hive of bees.<p>

He felt like he was the smudge of ink that stained the postcard scene. It was nauseating.

Joe watched the play of light on the pavement and reached his hands out so it washed over his skin. He bent his fingers as if to catch it, and predictably, his fingers slipped right through the rays. He allowed a soft, sad smile. When he had touched Nick's hair, it never passed through his fingers. Nick had been warm, warmer than this.

"Today's going to be a good day, don't you think?" He heard the smile in her voice.

He looked beyond his outstretched hands and saw the hem of a skirt waving in the wind. Returning his hand to his sides, he already missed the warm kiss of the sun's rays. Demi stood before him. She looked cute, if not pleased to have caught him in such a vulnerable moment.

"Why did you call me here?" He skipped the niceties and went straight to the point.

"We have a date, Joe," Demi told him artlessly.

He narrowed his eyes at her easy demeanor, her soft smile and seemingly innocent tilt to the head.

"I don't have time to play games, Demi. You said you had to tell me something important. Something that couldn't wait until Monday." He had better places to be at the moment.

Taking on an aggressive stance, she caught his gaze and held it. "I'm not playing games, and I wasn't lying."

"Then make it quick. You've made me wait long enough."

Demi hummed as if considering. He noticed her hair had that freshly cropped look and she had clear nail polish on. He had expected it to be pink.

"Tell you what." She winked. "I'll tell you once you buy me some ice cream."

He gritted his teeth, patience lost. Turning quickly, he strode forward.

"Running away again, Joe? That's become such a bad habit of yours lately." Her words stopped him in his tracks. He was bothered that nothing in him protested or denied her implications.

Joe faced her slowly and challenged her gaze. "I'm not running away," he ground out.

Her expression melted into the soft smile once more. She stepped forward and looped her arm around his. Propelling him toward where the ice cream truck was parked, she dared, "Convince me."

* * *

><p>The ice cream melted quickly, so he ended up stirring the slushy result in his cup. Girls always had a way of eating that barely left a mess. He watched Demi break off pieces of her cone instead of biting on it. He guessed if she bit on it, all the little flakes that fell on her skirt would be stuck to her lips instead. Girls were amusing at times. He didn't know who she was trying to impress. Or maybe that was just her way of doing things.<p>

She hadn't said anything for a while, and he hadn't the manner to initiate a conversation. So, they sat silently as clouds passed over them and the breeze tousled their hair. They watched kids play and leaves fall. After a while, she leaned back on the bench, legs shifting to cross ankles and her hands rested on her stomach. Her face turned up to the sky, eyelids closed and lips parted. She looked relaxed, yet taut, as if waiting for a kiss.

He looked away, leaned forward, elbows on his thighs and head bowed.

"Do you love Nick, Joe?" she murmured.

"I don't think that's any of your business," he answered smoothly.

"That's a yes, then."

He looked back at her and saw that she hadn't moved, talking with her eyes closed and hair swaying around her face.

"I think it is my business, you know? No matter what you say." She spoke as if talking to herself, just speaking aloud. "I care for him. I don't like to see him hurt. That day, when Selena told me I couldn't see beyond his smile, it opened my eyes and I saw what she had been talking about."

"So, you're here to speak for him, then?" He couldn't help but feel even more isolated. But that had always been the way. He wondered why he ever expected it to be any different now.

Demi sat up suddenly, hearing the bitter edge to his question. "Of course not! He's my friend and I want him to be happy. He's happy when he's with you! I want you to be happy too, and you seemed happy when you were with him," she reasoned.

"He was happy before me, Demi. Believe it or not. He had a life before me, and it didn't end when I broke it off. He seems to be living fairly well now."

"Do you really believe that? You guys were so much happier when you were together. I want to see that again." Her hand landed on her chest, bunching the fabric.

"We can't always have what we want, Demi. You don't know everything. So, it's easier for you to think it could be solved that quickly. One life is difficult enough to endure; why worry about two others? Just worry about your own," he delivered coldly.

She fell silent and he was almost disappointed, as if he had wanted her to argue some more. It was ridiculous.

"Stop being a coward." Her voice trespassed inaudible, but he heard it. "Stop giving me excuses. I wish I had found my happily-ever-after. I wouldn't have treated it the way you did yours. If your life is so miserable, why reject the only good thing that came your way!" She stood up and faced him, her voice and body towering over his.

He sighed. She had said it, called him what he was.

"Happily-ever-after, huh? Too bad those barely survived outside daydreams." He also stood up and she had no choice but to step back lest their chests touched. He saw her frown like she didn't get him.

"Did you leave, then? Before he left you?" The question gave him pause. Perhaps that had been another reason, if he truly admitted it. Aside from taking away any distractions that would interfere with his goals, leaving had been better than being left behind. In the end, he had never fully trusted that it would last. He had sought after what he had wanted, then left it before it left him.

He turned away from her open expression, his thoughts hurting his head. If he grabbed hold of his goal now, what were the chances that he would let go for fear of discovering he would never succeed?

He had to be sure then, that he could see things through.

Joe lifted a hand to his neck, tracing the cold body of Nick's chain. Resolution licked up his spine, demanding his body to move and do something.

He began to walk away, but Demi's hand on his arm stopped him. "Where are you going?"

"Thank you for the date, Demi."

"Huh?" She blinked up at him in bewilderment. This close, if he were to kiss her, he'd have to lean down. Nick was the perfect height for kissing.

"See you later." And he left.

* * *

><p>"I apologize for the trouble, Sebastian." Joe shook the man's large hands, his hair swaying as he bowed.<p>

The man chuckled, not yet letting go of his hands. "It's no trouble at all, Joe. I'm glad you considered my offer."

Joe shivered. Something about the man's rasping voice bothered him. It reminded him of snakes slithering through grass—a forked tongue hissing in his ears. He expected the hand that had yet to release his to be cold, although it was comfortably warm.

Pulling away from the grip as politely as he could manage, Joe looked around the spacious, tastefully decorated office. It was a combination of polished wood, gleaming steel, and smooth glass. The carpet was plush beneath his shoes and the chair he was asked to sit on almost made him sigh in contentment.

"I hope I'm not taking you away from any important matters."

Sebastian leaned back in his chair behind the glass and steel desk, his legs casually crossed and grin wickedly displayed. The suit he wore fit him well, handsomely. Joe's suit chafed and itched. It had been a while since he'd donned any of the sort.

"My important matter is right in front of me, Joe. Please understand that you are in no way troubling me," Sebastian murmured with heavy-lidded eyes, his gaze sharp and potent.

Joe cleared his throat and tried to fight off a flush. He nodded, not knowing how to respond to that.

Getting up, Sebastian glanced at his watch. "The classes will break soon. Shall we go, Joe? You may meet a few students as we tour."

Joe got up from his seat and followed Sebastian out of the office. Their footsteps echoed in the large halls and they were cast by sunlight and color as they passed stained glass windows. They walked into a few classes, looking into the lessons and students. A professor would try to accommodate them, pausing his lesson, but Sebastian would gesture to continue.

Joe recognized a few students; a son of a successful politician, a daughter of a tenacious lawyer, and a few more from wealthy families. Kids that grew up the same way as him, kids who had their gazes set on the same goal. Their stiff and starched uniforms were impeccable, expensive.

He stood at the back of the class and felt the energy—the drive—that these students possessed. He bit his bottom lip in excitement. His blood heated. He wanted to be among them.

A large hand slipped at the small of his back; Joe stiffened at the unexpected contact. It pressed against him, slipping down. He looked to his side and Sebastian smiled down at him.

"Would you like to meet a few students that are in the advanced programs, Joe? You may find them interesting." The heat of Sebastian's hand seeped through his jacket. He nodded in agreement and was guided out of the room.

Sebastian showed him into a class with very few students. They looked up as he and Sebastian entered, their gazes on him hard and measuring. When they turned to the man beside him, their gazes lowered, humbled. Joe found the silent exchange odd, but it showed him that the man holding his elbow in pretense of guiding him was revered.

The students stood from their seats and greeted him. They introduced themselves, five speaking for the rest. One with hair the color of dirty snow and green eyes, Keith, took him away from the crowd and showed him the lessons and curriculum for the advanced class. The entire time, Joe felt hostility and malice from the boy. He smirked; he had forgotten what it felt like to be feared.

He spent quite a bit of time in the class, sitting and fitting right in. He didn't spy from his left any silly girls trying to get his attention or Nick bickering with David. He didn't hear Evan munching on chips. Matt wasn't by the window watching clouds roll past. His teacher didn't occasionally throw a board eraser to a sleeping student. The teacher before him was young with early graying hair, round specs and a cunning grin. He wasn't sitting in a class of North Ridge High School. It was different, but not entirely terrible.

After the class, they returned to Sebastian's office. The students had told him farewell, and said they looked forward to competing against him. He felt the same way.

"I'm very curious, Joe." The man perched on the edge of his desk, eyes openly roving over him. "I'd like to know what you're thinking."

Joe hadn't sat down. At this level, they were eye to eye. He pulled at his shirt cuff, recalling Nick teasing him for the nervous habit, and put his hand back to his side.

"I..." He paused, collecting his thoughts and ridding hid mind of the image of curly hair and cheeky grins. "I had a wonderful time, Sebastian."

"You looked like you had fun. Was this..." Sebastian gestured around them. "...What you were looking for?"

Joe lowered his gaze, mind buzzing with thoughts, decisions, and memories. He ignored the heart that skipped a beat at the thought of leaving what he had gained, of who he had gained. A hand slid up and rested around his arm. He followed the arm to its owner. Sebastian smiled at him, his knowing eyes boring into his.

"Destiny, success... our goals do not come to us, Joe. We must rip through every obstacle, step on every stepping stone..." The hand slid up to cup the back of his neck, thumb caressing skin. "And bear every hardship..." Intense eyes narrowed and pale lips smiled at him. "To grasp what we want."

Joe took a hard swallow, feeling flushed as the rumbling words tumbled out of those lips. His heart beat faster when the hand squeezed his neck briefly, before sliding down his arms once more, and then drew back, letting go slowly.

"Is this what you want, Joe?" Sebastian asked and waited.

His neck still felt the heavy grip. His arms tingled where he had been touched. He wasn't stupid; he knew what the other man was saying. The deliberate touches throughout the tour and the exploring eyes were hard to ignore. He knew the man would love Joe to be on his knees right now, sucking him off in his office. Joe repressed a shudder.

The man was right, however, about grasping what you want, despite the sacrifices. It had been what he'd been after all this time. It had been the reason he left Nick, his distraction. This was the bridge to cross to following in Kevin's path; to defeating him.

"Yes, this is what I want," Joe rasped.

"Good." A hand wrapped around his wrist, pulling him down. The carpet seemed hard, hurting his knees. The opening of a zipper sounded too loud in the room as it slid from tooth to tooth. The hands on his shoulder and head were too large, unfamiliar. He gagged as he tried to accommodate the thickness in his mouth, making him tear. Fingers dug onto his shoulders and hair, pulling as hot liquid hit his throat. He spat, ruining the carpet. A hand pet his hair, and this time, he couldn't repress the shudder that overcame his body.

* * *

><p>Joe stared at the dark car in front of him, his brother standing by the door. His driver, Demetri, a tall and unpleasant man, sat quietly at the wheel. Kevin looked at him, appraising.<p>

"What are you doing here?" Joe asked. It seemed that was the only thing he could say to his brother.

"Get in, Joe," Kevin commanded. And it seemed that was the only thing his brother could say to him.

Too tired to argue, his steps dragged and his throat still burned. Kevin opened the door for him and he stumbled inside, their shoulders brushing. Kevin slid in after him. At the slam of the door closing, the car started. The ride was silent, both of them sitting at the end of the back seat. Joe kept his eyes on the passing scenery, once in a while looking at his brother's unmoving reflection.

"Joe," Kevin murmured.

Joe looked away from the window, turning toward Kevin. His brother said nothing else and the car drove on.

The car pulled up in their driveway. As Joe prepared to open the door to his side, a handkerchief was tossed onto his lap. He grabbed the silky square of cloth and looked at Kevin questioningly.

Stepping out of the car, a lock of his hair stuck to his skin. Eyes widening, he fingered the clear-white sticky clump of hair and flushed. The car drove off, leaving him weak-kneed and throat aching.

He ran to his bathroom, washed his hair, and brushed his teeth, tongue, and mouth. He nearly swallowed the mouthwash—he choked on it and spat it out. The taste wouldn't leave him, the feel of foreign thickness. Joe sagged to the floor, hand covering his lips, embarrassment hanging over his shoulders like a cloak. He felt ghostly hands on his shoulder and hair, and he realized then what he had just done.

* * *

><p>The lights turned green and cars moved in unison. The lights turned yellow, then red. Cars stopped and the crowds crossed the streets—countless stomping feet, thinking minds, beating hearts, and talking mouths.<p>

Nick hurried his strides, trying not to bump into anyone. His shoulder brushed another, but the crowd was too thick to stop and apologize. The person was gone anyway. He made it to the other side and went into a store to buy what he needed. Emerging out of the busy place, he walked on to find someplace to eat. The fast-food restaurant had been too crowded. He didn't want to feel rushed as he ate.

Pausing in his search, he spied a white-haired man sitting on the steps. The steps lead up to the wide bridge built over the busy road. The man wrote on a notepad and occasionally looked up to leer at a passing woman. Somehow, he stood out from the crowd, like a visitor in a house.

Nick walked over to the man, who, despite his hair color, could not have been a day over 50. His bag of food dangled by his side, bouncing against his leg.

"Hey, old man. You're scaring the girls." Nick scowled, hooking his thumb on a pocket. As scolding as he had wanted it to sound, the old man took the comment with a grin.

The man looked away from whistling at a lady clad in a red dress and slid curious eyes at him. The gaze lowered to his bag of food and before Nick could blink, the bag was grabbed from his grip.

"Oh, what a good boy, bringing lunch for this hard-working old man." He buried his face inside the bag, sniffing appreciatively.

"Hey!" Nick protested. "Give those back!"

The bag was tossed back to him, minus a burger and a juice box.

"Have a seat, boy. This is the best spot in all of downtown." The man patted the place beside him, grinning all the while.

The bridge was fairly wide. A few people had also claimed steps, without bothering anyone. The crowd moved around them easily.

Shrugging in acceptance, Nick plopped down and reached into the bag for his extra burger. They ate, watching the crowd. Nick shared his fries and the man showed him what he had been writing. The guy was an author. And a pervert.

"So, you write porn?" Nick flipped through the pages of the notebook, skimming over a few sentences. He looked to the old man—Archie, he had said his name was.

"No, I write about love," Archie corrected. "About life and its many aspects. Love, hate, change, fate, people, the future, the past, the present... and so on." He winked. "Love, above all, takes precedence. It touches most of these aspects; bleeds into them."

Nick frowned, sipped on his drink, and let the guy talk.

"Love itself has many aspects, you see. And I focus on certain parts. People and their relationships, emotions like anger, happiness, sadness, lust. I take all these things and fit them into a situation, a story," Archie explained as his hands imitated stuffing something into a container.

Nick pulled the straw away from his lips, tilted his head to the side and asked, "So, you write porn?"

Archie gave him a long suffering look, sipped on his own juice box, and nodded. "Yeah, I guess."

Nick sniggered and tapped the notebook on his lap. "The story's not bad, but I think they should get back together. It would make people sad if they remained separated in the end. I think happiness is a much better emotion. Happy endings are never overused."

Archie raised an impressed brow and looked him up and down. "You seem to know what you're talking about, boy. You in love?"

Nick almost choked on his drink, sputtering most of it out. He wiped his chin and licked his lips, tasting apple juice.

"Why would you say that?" he asked guardedly.

"You're practically glowing from it." Archie narrowed his eyes, placing a thoughtful hand beneath his chin. "No, not glowing at this moment, but you are in love. She must be a lucky gal to have someone who won't give up so easily on a relationship." He grinned yet again.

Nick scowled, looking away. He gazed at the people passing by and sipped on his drink some more. Saying it like that, it sounded so simple. He recalled Joe telling him he loved him. He hadn't known what to tell him and never got back to him. He wondered if Joe had known what he was talking about then, if he still felt the same now. Nick hardly lingered on that memory, even though he should, since no one had ever told him they loved him.

"Maybe I didn't believe it... Couldn't believe it," Nick murmured.

In the corner of his eyes, he saw Archie leering at a group of girls in school uniforms, but Nick knew the man was listening.

"I almost believed it, but didn't, and look what happened. We're not together anymore." He bit his straw, chewing at its end.

"Then how come you're still holding on, boy? What's keeping you from letting go?" Archie asked offhandedly. He hummed approvingly as a woman in a business suit passed by. She looked over her shoulder and smiled in thanks. From the look of her, she'd been working hard. Archie probably just made her day.

"I don't know why I haven't let go yet," Nick admitted.

"Sure you do." Archie took his notebook back, flipped to a new page, and quickly jotted something down. "You just don't want to believe it. Try thinking out loud, try saying different things. One of them is bound to ring true," he advised.

Nick grinned and turned to Archie. The man was busy scribbling on the pad. He seemed lost in thought. "Is all your porn so deep?" he asked lightheartedly.

Archie looked up and grinned better than him. "Of course! Can't have my readers get bored with just the porn, now could we?" He laughed out loud and people turned to look.

Nick smiled and shook his head. Standing up, he checked the time. The sun had gone down without his notice. The crowd was still thick, but more silent now, harmonizing with the characteristics of night. The stores' and restaurants' florescent signs lit up, beckoning the shoppers and diners in. Like moths to a fire. Nick grinned. Lovers strolled down the streets, hands clasped, floating on clouds.

"Well, old man, I think I'm gonna head home. I'll see you around," Nick said, stretching.

"Alright, kid. I'll be here." Archie waved. "Thanks for the food."

Nick began to walk away just as Archie called out to him. "And don't forget to let your little missy know how you feel!" he yelled across the crowd.

Nick blinked and then blinked again. A slow smile began to spread and he laughed. "Sure thing!"

He walked away, grinning and shaking his head. "Sure thing..." he murmured, smile softening.

He slowed down and slipped his hands into his pockets. Calm fell over him, soothing him. He made his way into the station, hearing the trains stopping and going. Taking his transit pass out, he swiped it as he went through the electronic gate. The resulting beep echoed loudly on the tiled walls and floors and was lost to more beeps as people came in and out.

Nick climbed the stairs up to the platform and waited for his train to arrive. Both platforms were nearly empty of commuters; he had just missed his train. A breeze passing through the tunnel stirred his hair and clothes. Classical music played, its purpose to bore away the would-be loiterers.

Hunching, he waited some more. As he was about to walk further down the length of the platform, he heard a girl's protesting voice. He turned his ear toward the commotion and waited. It came again, louder, a little more panicked and less gutsy. Frowning, he looked toward the stairs. Shadows, footsteps, and loud voices filled the platform.

"I said leave me alone!" the girl repeated.

"What the hell, bitch? You can't lead us on like that!" a guy's booming voice growled.

"Yeah, show us how good you are!" another taunted.

"What's the matter little girl, not so tough when your girlfriends' ain't around?" a third one laughed.

Nick groaned. He did not want to get involved, and yet his feet had already made the decision for him. He walked to where the voices originated and found three tall guys surrounding a girl. She was effectively trapped against the wall. Between the guys' shifting bodies, Nick spied blond hair and a familiar school uniform. One of the guys came closer, grabbing the girl's wrist—she kicked out and Nick heard a resounding slap.

"Hey!" He ran toward the group. Pushing one of the guys out of the way, he saw Emily cradling a reddening cheek. Her eyes were bright, but she wasn't crying; still putting up a tough front. Nick gritted his teeth.

The guy to his left shoved him away. "Mind your own business, man."

Nick steadied himself and caught the guy by his shirt collar. Spinning the kid around, Nick pushed him away from Emily.

"What the fuck! Mind your own business, I said!" And all three turned to Nick, fists raised, scowls and teeth bared.

"What the hell are you doing? Ganging up on a girl?" he growled.

"Are you defending this whore?" the tall one laughed, pointing a thumb to Emily. "She had it coming, making herself up like that. We're just accepting the fucking invitation," he leered.

Nick scowled. "Emily, come here."

"Get away, Monster! I can take care of myself!" she spat.

Nick stared at her in disbelief, hands curling into fists.

"You heard her. Get the fuck out of here!" one of the guys yelled and threw a punch his way.

Nick dodged it quickly, but didn't see another fist coming until it landed on his stomach. He coughed; the wind knocked out of him. A fist clipped him on the shoulder and someone kicked his side. Shaking the pain away, he kicked at someone's thigh and swung his arm to his right—catching someone's nose. Another guy came at him. Nick stepped back and planted a foot on the kid's stomach. Someone caught his arm, he twisted out of the hold, and his fist hit the guy's throat.

"Fuck, man!" the third guy coughed.

They attacked once more and Nick defended himself. All the while, he caught glimpses of Emily, standing still, with eyes wide open.

A leg tripped him, the back of his head hit the floor, the world spun, and he saw spots. Emily screamed. Before his eyes closed, he saw her run for him, only to be grabbed around the ankle and trip.

"Get away from me, bastards!" she cursed.

Prying his eyes open took a great deal of effort, but he managed it. He stood up shakily, head throbbing in pain. Two of the guys were down, and the other was on top of Emily, her fingers pulling at his hair. Nick kicked the guy off her and he didn't fight back.

"Fuck," Nick spat and offered his hand to his cousin. He looked about the platform and wondered why there was never anyone around when help was needed.

Emily slapped his hand away and got up unsteadily to her feet. "I don't need your help, Monster." She winced when she put pressure on an ankle.

Nick frowned as she collected her bag and started to walk away. She didn't make it any further than three steps before a sob escaped and her leg gave way.

"Dammit!" she cried, gripping her leg. "You stupid ankle!"

Touching the back of his head, Nick checked for blood—a natural reaction. Encountering only a nasty bump, he walked toward Emily.

"C'mon, I'll help you up," he offered once more.

Emily crossed her arms over her chest and faced away from him. He could see her pout and her defiantly narrowed eyes.

"Stop being so stubborn, Emily." Nick sighed. He stepped over the unconscious bodies and crouched down beside her. Peering closer, he saw her lips start to tremble.

"Emily?"

"Why the hell did you have to be here? I could take care of myself!" she yelled, facing him.

Nick shook his head and looked to the rails and then back to her. "I guess this just isn't your lucky day, cousin."

"Don't call me that!" she sobbed.

The rails rattled and the air stirred. In the distance, the train's light shone. People came up the stairs and the three goons stirred.

"C'mon. Get up," Nick said as he reached around her waist. She stiffened and looked like she was going to fight him, but stopped when she moved her leg. She bravely bit off another sob and let him carry her to the train.

They sat in silence as the train moved. Nick tended to his wounds and Emily made herself decent. She fixed her hair and rumpled clothes. The train's movement would often jar her ankle and she'd bite her tongue to keep from crying out. Nick felt a certain amount of pride at how tough she'd become. He'd have liked to tell her that, but as the ride went on, their gazes never met.

When her stop came, he helped her up once more. Once they were outside the station, he offered his back to carry her. It took some more arguing, but in the end, she reluctantly and with lots of drama, accepted.

Nick adjusted his hold on Emily, making sure she wouldn't slip from the piggy back position. Her arms hooked around his neck and her cheek rested on his shoulder. The street was silent; an occasional car would zoom past. He could smell home cooked dinner in the air and a few house lights were already turned off for the night. Blue light flickered from someone's window, a basketball game was on. A cat out for a walk stopped to watch them, its eyes flickering, and then it crossed their path.

Nick hadn't been to his aunt's house in a very long time. His memory of it was blurred; only at certain parts were there color and detail. As time passed, he remembered even less. Now, he walked slowly with his cousin on his back. Walking to the house he had been unwanted from.

"You look like them, you know." Her voice had been but a mere whisper and was muffled against his shirt; he had almost missed it.

"Them?" he asked.

"The pictures. There's some in my mother's room. She doesn't have them up like she used to. Once in a while, she'd take them out, and she would be happy." Emily paused, shifting her head. "But then she'd start crying and put away the albums again."

"Who do I look like?"

"The people in the pictures. You have Auntie's eyes. They're so pretty," she whispered, amazed.

He felt a stinging around his eyes and his throat clamped up. "Is that so?"

"And the man, Uncle, you look like him too."

"Do you remember them?" Nick asked.

"No," A breeze blew past. "Not really."

"Oh."

He adjusted his hold on her and he kept walking. He could barely stand it when she taunted him and called him names, but he had never blamed her. She acted on somebody else's hatred. She had been taught to hate him. He wondered if she had ever thought about why she acted the way she did. He wondered if she would ever decide to step out of her learned hatred and decide for herself how she felt.

"You can stop here," she said as she began to wiggle out of his hold. Her feet touched the ground and she leaned on the sidewalk's rails to keep the pressure off her injured ankle. Her house was a few more steps away.

"I could carry you all the way there, if you—"

"No, it's fine." Emily looked toward her house, and then back to him. "Mom's probably had a hard day. Like, she doesn't need to see you to make it worse."

He stepped back, confused at her altered tone. She sucked her teeth and limped away. He watched her go, making sure she made it to her front steps, and then inside, before turning away.

The house had looked different. They had added another section to it, and the garden seemed less tended. Life and time brought changes, but he hadn't encountered these changes as they happened, so the house in his memories had stayed unchanged.

He wondered at Emily's behavior and grinned. She always put up a tough act, but sometimes, when it was quiet and there was not that many to see, she was a kind girl. He sighed. His injuries complained, but he ignored them. He remembered what she had said, that he had looked like his parents. In a way, it was sort of her way of thanking him. He smiled and went home.

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><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p>

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><p>I didn't want to actually come out and say this, because I wanted you to make your own conclusions, but as I'm re-reading this, I feel that you guys should know, so I'm going to clarify... Yes, Sebastian is supposed to be a disgusting super-creep. So much so that the name alone should forever give you chills. So, if you weren't getting that vibe, I hope that you understand what I was trying to portray now.<p> 


	29. When Someone's Wish Comes True

Ahh. How I enjoy this story.

And your comments and reviews! Those are beyond satisfying to me. :)

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><p>Chapter 29 — When Someone's Wish Comes True... Someone Else's Goes Unfulfilled<p>

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><p>A week after the night Nick carried Emily home, she surprised him. As the train came to a screeching halt, she stood by him. She said nothing, didn't even look his way. Nick's eyes flicked to her and then back to the train as its doors opened. He stepped inside, but she didn't. The doors slid closed and he looked at her through the glass. She tilted her head in thought, furrowed her eyebrows, and moved her loose hair away from her face. The train began to move, but she stayed in place until he couldn't see her anymore.<p>

The next day, the same thing happened. The day after that, he said hi and she nodded her head.

One day, she offered him some chips. He asked if the chips were poisoned. She said they were, just for him. He thought he had a cute cousin.

When with friends, she often slipped back to her old self, or what Nick had seen as her old self. She'd say something harsh, fall silent, and then change the subject. The next time they saw each other, she'd offer him chips more than once. She really was cute.

The air in the place smelled like hamburger grease and salt. Not the kind of salt that reminded you of the sea. But the kind that came with the fries. Lively chatter mixed with the muted sound of traffic beyond the glass windows and faded orange walls. A baby cried at one of the booths. Nick tracked the mother as she brought her child to the women's washroom.

"You have an eyelash on your cheek," Emily pointed out.

Blinking in surprise, his eyes tried to search for it. Then he realized how stupid that was and stopped.

She pointed with a painted fingernail. He patted around his cheek until she told him, "There!" and he peeled it off his skin. Careful not to lose it, he held the lash on the pad of his index finger.

"You should make a wish," she suggested, peering at the dark lash. "It's good luck, you know."

He hadn't expected something like that to come from her. But now that he thought about it, it made perfect sense. She was a girl full of hopes and dreams—wishes and girly delight.

Deciding to humor her, he asked, "And then what?"

"And then you blow it away!" She sounded a little too excited, her fingers making bursting motions in the air. The bracelets around her wrist clanged and bounced.

He looked around them. The fast food joint wasn't that busy. Everyone minded their own business. There was no one looking to witness him doing something only girls with crushes do.

He inhaled; anticipating blowing the eyelash, then realized that he had almost forgotten to make his wish. Pausing, he made the wish and then blew off the lash. It was now lost forever amidst the dirt and dust sticking to the linoleum-tiled floors.

"So, what did you wish for?" she asked, stuffing salty fries in between her lip-glossed lips.

"Doesn't telling you prevent the wish from coming true?" he countered, eating some of his own fries.

She pouted. He felt sorry for the fry that received a rather violent bite. "Not even a teeny tiny hint?" She wielded large eyes on him and an almost believable, angelic smile.

He snickered, and then with a straight face said, "No."

She looked to the side momentarily, thoughtful, and then she moved forward. Crossing her arms on top of the table, a sudden gleam lit her eyes. "Was it a wish for you and your boyfriend to get back together?"

It was lucky he had just downed his drink or else he would have had soda shooting out of his nose by then. Putting the drink down to make sure no future accidents occurred, he eyed her carefully.

"Boyfriend?" He coughed, asking for her to clarify.

"Yeah, you know... tall, dark, and handsome?" She grinned mischievously, and then sobered. "I... I heard you guys broke up. He was pretty popular with the girls at my school, too, and when I was asked about it, I think I made it worse." She winced and meekly slid a hamburger across the table to him.

Nick eyed the offering and then picked it up. He sniggered, amused by her actions, and waved the wrapped burger between them. "Do you always apologize with food?"

She grinned, sheepish. "Is it working?"

He laughed hard, and when he saw her confused face, he laughed some more.

Calming down, he leaned back on his seat and looked down through the grease-smeared glass to the streets below.

"Boyfriend sounds weird to hear," he murmured.

"Lover, then?" she suggested.

He scoffed. "That's even worse. He's my friend."

"With benefits!" she added cheerfully.

He couldn't help it—he laughed. She was really cute.

"So? Was it a wish for you and him?" Emily pursued.

Sitting up, he picked up a fry and met her curious gaze. "Tell you what. I'll let you know if it comes true."

She pouted adorably, but left it alone.

The first time they had sat together, it was awkward. But slowly, words had started to come, conversations formed, and the air of tension was snuffed out of existence. It had been like meeting her all over again. Once in a while she'd say something unkind, but she'd apologize quickly. He didn't mind; she didn't mean it. Sometimes she would ask him about how he managed to live alone. His answers usually consisted of shrugs and smiles. He said that he just did.

Her questions reminded him of Joe's questions. Her apologies reminded him of Joe's guilty look once he realized Nick's situation and how he had made it worse. Nick realized he missed Joe.

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><p>The rumor and its telling looks eventually ebbed. The girls who idolized Joe regained hope and Nick saw the boy's locker bulge with fan letters once more. A new rumor began circulating. He overheard a girl tearfully tell a group of friends that Joe was transferring to another school, that she had heard it when she passed by the council's room.<p>

Nick stood still, back leaning against the cold staircase wall. From the window beside him, sunlight streamed past his shoulders as he listened to her wracking sobs echo up the stairway. He watched little dust particles float in the shaft of light. Her cry grew louder and her friends made soothing noises. He heard the door open and then their footsteps receded. The door slammed against its frame and he was left alone.

Since the day he had given the pendant back to Joe, they hardly spoke or even met gazes. Joe suddenly had a penchant for disappearing and no one knew where he was. In class, he barely spoke to anyone, and then the next day, his locker was cleared and his seat became vacant.

People spoke, but mostly of speculations. No one knew the truth, so they made things up. Nick searched all over the school—to the places they had often occupied, secret places where they had shared kisses. But Joe wasn't anywhere.

When Nick asked Demi or Miley about what they knew, Miley had no clue and Demi wasn't talking. After school, he went to work. Emily and her friends had visited him. They made him smile, ate their fill, and then left. He worked as if on autopilot. At the end of his shift, he cleaned up, hung his apron, and headed home.

Nick held onto the metal bars as the bus stopped. Releasing his hold, he rubbed the hand on his pants, wiping off the grease from the pole. The doors opened with an airy swish. As he stepped off the vehicle, he recognized a few tenants from his apartment. He returned a few waves. Adjusting his hold on his bag, he walked the rest of the way to his apartment. His key ring dangled around his fingers, the metal jingling as he walked and swung it about. A pair of joggers passed him by. The scent of sweat invaded his senses briefly and then the fresh evening air once again. He entertained the thought of going for a walk, but then decided maybe next time.

As he neared his apartment complex, he spied a figure sitting on the steps. When Nick came closer, the figure looked up, their gazes meeting. Under the soft glow of a nearby lamp post, Joe slowly stood and smiled at him.

Something about that smile triggered a reaction out of him. It looked wrong. It looked guilty.

Before he knew it, Nick's feet had carried him to stand in front of the boy and his knuckles throbbed from the hit he had just thrown at Joe.

Joe staggered back from the blow, hand reaching up for his cheek. He looked a little dazed, probably just realizing it had been a fist that hit him. Although in obvious pain, he looked like he had been expecting it. Working his jaw a bit, Joe spat at the ground.

Nick stared at the bloody stain on the pavement and then at the red trickle on Joe's chin. He moved his fingers and tried to flick the irritating throb away. His gaze hardened when he met Joe's.

Standing close enough, Nick raised his hand and wiped the blood off Joe's chin with his thumb. "It hurt," he said truthfully.

"I know," Joe rasped, eyes lowering.

And they both knew he wasn't talking about just now.

"Can I come up?"

Nick looked above them and found his balcony among the others. There weren't any lights on. He should go upstairs, turn the lights on, and let life go on.

Bending down, he picked up the keys he had dropped. His nails scraped against the rough pavement. Standing slowly, he turned and made his way to the doors. He heard Joe follow, saw the boy's reflection in the glass.

When they entered Nick's apartment, he told Joe to follow him into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, he grabbed a handful of ice and dropped them onto a cloth. Tying the ends to prevent the ice from falling out, Nick shoved the bundle onto Joe's chest.

Joe tentatively pressed the ice pack to his cheek, wincing upon contact. The boy's eyes followed him as he opened the fridge door, found nothing he wanted, and slammed it close. Nick's anger was curling around him. He felt it at the back of his head, like something solid. Like something crawling with a thousand legs that he'd like to rip out of his skull. He gripped the fridge's door handle, closed his eyes and stopped grinding his teeth when he noticed he had been doing it. His shoulders were rigid with pent up emotions and he needed to break something. Something like Joe's face.

"I didn't want you to leave me," Joe whispered from behind him.

That... That sapped away all the raw emotions boiling inside Nick, leaving him bewildered and blank.

Furrowing his eyebrows, he turned swiftly and pointed an accusing finger. "Hey, asshole! You're the one that left!"

Joe frowned at him, shifting the ice pack lower. There was still some red left beneath his lips, reminding Nick that he had already hit Joe's face. His hand throbbed in recollection. The sight of Joe nursing his hurt however, gave Nick enough push to put his anger aside and hear the boy out. He sighed out loud and ran fingers through his hair as if to rake the frustration off. Leaning back against his fridge, head tapping twice at its cool surface, he nodded for Joe to explain.

Joe found support against the wall and took the ice away from his jaw. Nick watched him study his tiles for a bit. And then Joe looked up and met his gaze.

"I don't know where to begin," he said.

Nick crossed his arms. "How about explaining what you meant by what you just said?"

Joe straightened, eyes widening a little, and then embarrassedly looked away. "It meant exactly just that."

"You're not making any sense."

"How well do you know me, Nick?" Joe asked without preamble.

Nick opened his mouth to answer, and then closed it. It shouldn't have been a difficult question, but suddenly he didn't know how to respond to it. He knew about the Joe in school, the class president, the over-achiever. He had a vague idea about Joe and his relationship with his family. Kevin had contributed to that. He knew Joe disliked sweet things, but tolerated it when it came from him. He knew all these inconsequential things, and nothing else.

"I know enough," Nick answered.

"Maybe," Joe smiled softly, sadly. A faraway look came over his expression and Nick knew Joe was somewhere else, sometime else. "When I was eight, Kevin left."

Nick furrowed his brows, nodding, even though Joe may not have even noticed it.

"He had been thirteen then, but already knew what he wanted out of life, I think. Or he had a pretty good idea when he left," Joe paused as if recalling a moment. "My parents left me. They left me to go after him. To find my brother, their genius child. My father's hope and my mother's heart," Joe laughed bitterly, his voice breaking. He took a moment to clear his throat and then continued. "They were gone for three years. Searching for him. I was passed around different relatives I hardly knew. Heard them whispering about my family and the poor child who was left behind."

Nick cringed, uncrossing his arms. He remembered what it had been like to be alone growing up with people's cold gazes and harsh speculations. He imagined what it must have been like for Joe to grow up measuring his worth with no one to correct his messed-up assumptions.

"They came back without Kevin, couldn't find him no matter how hard they looked. Maybe they hadn't really known him so well, if they couldn't even find him in such a small world. They stayed away for another year because my mother was heartbroken, and had forgotten she had another son. My father ran the company, buried himself in work. He also didn't want to see me." Joe bowed his head, the hand that wasn't holding the ice pack curled into a fist.

Nick opened his mouth, but had nothing to say.

"Dr. Serene was a friend of one of my uncles. I fell under their care the last two years my parents were gone."

Nick had often wondered why, when the two spoke, they seemed to share something. And now he knew.

"When my parents finally came back, I hardly knew them. My mother avoided me; she would cry when she saw me. Probably because I looked like Kevin and would make her hope, only to realize I wasn't him. And then she just learned how to tell I wasn't Kevin. I was the one she hated."

"That's bull shit!" Nick shouted, unable to take any more. He couldn't imagine that. A mother had to love her son. He seethed at the thought. Kevin and Joe were two different people. And yet, his aunt couldn't stand him either, because he looked like his mother. Nick gritted his teeth and banged the back of his head against the fridge door. "People are so screwed up," he rasped, closing his eyes.

They had left him. Joe's parents had left him, and never bothered to correct the assumptions Joe made as a child. That he had been hated, that he had been worthless to them compared to Kevin. He recalled that night he and Demi had come over to Joe's house. He shivered as he remembered the icy gaze Joe's mother had directed at her son. He recalled all those times Joe had said they didn't care if he wasn't home, even when it had been late. He remembered the hatred flowing out of Joe when he had seen his brother.

Nick hadn't known all of this, how much Joe had been hurting.

"You were afraid I'd leave you, so you left me," Nick said, finally understanding. He opened his eyes, his gaze falling on Joe. Because his own family had left him, how else would Joe trust anyone to not leave him too? His only choice was to suspect everyone.

Joe looked away and gave a small nod.

Nick sighed, deflating fully. He walked toward Joe, stopping close enough to take away the ice pack. The ice had started to melt and there was a puddle near Joe's feet. They hadn't noticed.

The ice pack dropped to the floor. The cloth soaked up the water and the remaining ice cracked when it landed. Their hands reached out at the same time, clasping midway. They stood in silence. Poignant in its simplicity.

In the handful of seconds spent in silence, Nick allowed what he'd learned to settle and meld with his every memory of Joe. He felt that satisfying click when everything fit like a puzzle.

Except for one thing.

"Was there something else? Why are you still leaving?" he asked.

Joe's grip suddenly tightened.

"I spoke to your brother and I heard a rumor in school that you were transferring," Nick asked, his eyes falling to the chain peeking out of Joe's neckline.

Releasing his breath, Joe sank down to the floor, taking Nick with him. They sat on the cold tiles, silent until Joe decided to speak.

"The rumor is true. I am transferring to a new school. I don't have to wait until the end of this semester. I can register and start class immediately. It's similar to the schools my brother had taken. I could feel challenged there and progress faster than I would in North Ridge," Joe explained, his other hand moving in the air as if trying to convince.

"It's a promising place. I've met the students, seen the school. The facilities and the curriculum." Nick could feel the excitement build in Joe, brimming with the drive to become someone great. It was contagious.

"How are the teachers?" Nick prompted, and Joe's excitement sagged and quickly vanished.

"The teachers know what's good for the students," Joe said, looking slightly ill. "They're teachers and that's all they are, nothing else."

Nick noted the pale pallor of the boy's face—he looked about to puke. "What are you talking about, Joe? Are you alright?"

Joe shook his head and gave him a terrible smile meant to convince him he was fine. "It's nothing. Just that... I know I can push myself into doing anything to get what I want. No matter how unpleasant. I proved how far I can go, but I won't do that again." His eyes shone with finality, a decision made without Nick understanding.

"Do what?" Nick pursued, wanting to know. He knew Joe would be good at anything once he made his mind up. That he was sure, but he couldn't help but feel he was missing something else.

Joe shook his head, telling Nick a second time that it was nothing.

Nick stared at their clasped hands, felt Joe's skin and warmth against him.

"I'm still leaving because I realized, to do all this, I had to move on." Joe addressed Nick's previous question. He loosened his grip on Nick's hand and pulled away slowly. "That I couldn't be distracted."

As the warmth of Joe's hand receded, comprehension stabbed into Nick, making it suddenly difficult to breathe. He lowered his head as the weight of those words sank in.

This was Joe wanting to move on; choosing his own path. This was Joe growing out of their meetings in stairways, hanging out at the old library, and spending time with friends. This was Joe growing out of kissing and fucking everywhere, this was him letting go and holding onto something else. And it hurt.

But this was Joe doing what he wanted. Nick wanted to scream and protest; tell Joe that North Ridge was fine, that it wasn't the school that makes the person, but the individual himself. He wanted to shake Joe and tell him he had friends and he had... him to rely on. They weren't distractions; together they could make each other strong. He had to say something, because it wasn't like him to remain quiet and let Joe think he was alone.

But this was Joe's life. It was what he wanted.

Nick placed his hand on the floor for support, wincing when it landed on the cold puddle. He watched as water drew back to make room for his hand only to move forward and engulf what it could. The spiky chill raced up his arm to the rest of his body, making him shiver. It helped divert him away from the small upset tucking itself comfortably in the pit of his stomach.

Summoning a less terrible smile than the one Joe had flashed him earlier, Nick buried his fingers into Joe's hair, wetting the dark locks. Joe shivered, but remained still, a little surprised at both his action and his smile.

"That's good. This is what you really want, right? So, you should do what you like." He was surprised his voice came out even, nothing like the broken tone he had expected.

Joe sagged against the wall, breathing out in relief. In the end, he had been waiting for Nick's encouragement. Maybe he hadn't been so sure.

Nick maintained his smile, making certain it didn't waver. He leaned into Joe. The boy opened up his arms and drew him in. Nick's arms mimicked Joe's, and he sighed into their embrace. Exhaustion settled over them and it wasn't long before Nick's eyes began to droop. Standing shakily, he pulled Joe up with him.

"Sleep over. You look tired," he invited.

Joe agreed, yawning. He gave a chagrined smile and Nick thought this was the first time in weeks that he had seen Joe collected and unwound.

Dressed in Nick's pajamas, they slid under the covers and it wasn't long before Joe fell asleep. Nick sat up, resting his elbows on his bent knee as he looked down at his snoozing bedmate. He reached out a tentative hand and slid it along the curve of Joe's shoulder and up to the smooth nape of his neck, until the fingers buried into soft and thick dark hair. Joe sighed in his sleep, scooting closer. Nick turned away from the sight and looked out his windows. He refused to contemplate the fate of their relationship, refused the desire to be selfish and tell Joe no.

He offered a soft smile to the watching moon and thought that it had been nice while it lasted. That it was something he'd never forget. That Joe was someone he'd never forget. Encounters were, after all, merely future farewells, and he could live with that, as long as they both got happy endings. Even if it meant they didn't get it together.

Nick sagged into his sheets and watched Joe sleep. He moved forward and stole a kiss, and then another, just because. He thought Joe pushing him away and leaving without a word of explanation was better than this, because now he didn't even have his anger to hide behind. He had only the annoying feeling of already missing Joe and the guilt of wanting to be selfish. It was like a bad taste in his mouth he couldn't take away no matter how much he brushed.

Pouting that he was losing sleep because of this, he shoved Joe roughly. "You suck."

The boy only stirred, murmured, and nothing else. Nick felt cheated, and contemplated doing it again, but didn't push once his hand touched Joe's shoulder. He slid his arms over Joe's chest, moved a bit closer, and held Joe close.

Just before sleep took him, Nick whispered into the darkness, "You suck, Jonas. I lost an eyelash for nothing."

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


	30. Selfishness

Chapter 30 — Selfishness

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><p>Joe woke to the feel of chilled feet rubbing against his calves. He moved his legs away only for the feet to follow. Shivering, he allowed the warmth seeking feet to indulge. Seeming satisfied, Nick tangled his legs around his, pressing onto his side closer. Joe stiffened when the boy nuzzled his neck in sleep, an arm sliding and covering his abdomen. Soft curls tickled his cheek. Warm breath against his neck made him swallow guiltily. His body seemed to be recalling all sorts of memories acquainted with Nick's. Steadying his breath, he melted into the moment. He savored the softness of the mattress and the hard body covering half of his. Moving an arm around Nick's shoulders, he pulled Nick to him. He sighed into the boy's hair, closing his eyes and inhaling the familiar, baby powder scent.<p>

A tentative kiss to his neck startled his eyes open. A whoosh of air escaped him when the arm on his abdomen squirmed under his shirt to caress over a nipple. Nick lifted his head and met his gaze.

"Nick—"

A pair of lips cut him off, pressing against his firmly. His hands automatically gripped Nick by the shirt and pulled him on top. Their mouths meshed, teeth clacked, and tongues sought partners. Joe's heart beat against his ribcage, strong and excited as a warm, liquid flush spread throughout his body. He opened his mouth wider, wincing when his jaw protested. It throbbed slightly as he recalled Nick's sucker punch the night before. Nick's hand caressed the abused cheek, at the same time deepening their kiss. A long, drawn out moan was pulled from him, the kiss intensifying, curling his toes.

The kiss released slowly. Nick looked down at him, a smug grin wanting to break out.

"How's my stomach taste?" Joe quipped.

Nick laughed and punched his shoulder.

Joe chuckled, missing that infectious sound. He ignored the urge to rub his shoulder. The punch sort of hurt. Instead, he ran his hands down Nick's back, resting them at the small dip below the waist. Playing with the elastic bands of Nick's pants, he nipped at the boy's chin and jaw line, humming as he moved along. Nick's hands closed over his neck, fingers moving up to his scalp, tangling with his hair.

"...teeth," Nick murmured.

Joe hummed, inquiring as his hands dipped lower, fingers smoothing over warm, rounded muscles.

"We should brush our teeth," Nick repeated more clearly.

Kissing down Nick's neck and then to the side to nip at the juncture between neck and shoulder, Joe groaned in protest. "But I don't want to get up yet. The toothpaste will wake me." He kind of liked this lazy morning feel. It's been weeks since he'd stayed in bed, not because he didn't want to face life, but because he wanted to just be lazy and be with someone, particularly Nick.

"Well, I'm not kissing you again with that morning breath," Nick said, contradicting himself perfectly by giving Joe's lips a small peck.

Joe groaned again, just for show.

"And yours tastes mountain fresh," he mocked. "Fine, fine, let's go."

This kind of thing, pretending that they hadn't been separated for a couple of weeks, that he hadn't hurt Nick, and that he wasn't going to eventually leave Nick, this pretending thing worked when you were barely awake and just plain horny.

Nick slowly got off him, stretching like a fox up from a long winter night's sleep. Joe followed soon after, still reluctant on leaving the warm bed.

In the washroom, Nick had started without him. He was surprised to find his toothbrush was still where he had left it. Picking up the blue brush, he accepted the toothpaste Nick handed him. Over the counter, in front of the mirror, and side by side, they brushed their teeth. Joe watched Nick spit and rinse, throwing cold water over his face and getting the tips of a few curls wet. He watched the curve of the boy's back as he hunched over, followed the single droplet travel down Nick's arm.

Nick looked up at him, raising a curious brow. Shaking his head, Joe finished brushing and washed his face just as Nick had. Locating the cup his toothbrush originally was placed in, he hesitated, thoughtful as to whether he should bring the brush home or keep it here. Biting his bottom lip, he let the brush fall from his fingers. It clacked against the ceramic walls of the cup and settled beside Nick's. Too late now.

Nick left him to do his business. From the bedroom, Joe heard Nick's footsteps over the creaking floors, heard the bed groan and then the floor creaked again. Finishing up, he found Nick by the door. Leaving the washroom to him, Joe went back to bed, still reluctant to face the day.

Staring at the ceiling, he traced the patterns and cracks, a habit he never outgrew. Placing his hands behind his head, he sighed, deflating. He wondered what he was still doing in Nick's apartment, in his bed. He should leave now. How does someone go about breaking something like this up? With a kiss? Some words? He groaned. With a fuck?

Nick had encouraged him to do what he wanted, to go. He should leave then. But, not yet. Just a little longer, and then he would say goodbye.

He heard Nick approach and smiled as the boy towered over him. Nick easily straddled his hips, bending over to rest his elbows on the mattress, and trapped Joe's head in between. Blowing a mint-chilled breath toward Nick, he waited for his kiss. Nick delivered generously, fingertips drawing random swirls on his scalp. And then he began to rock against Joe, maddeningly slow. Joe gripped the boy's hips, grinding up and humming as warm curls churned in his stomach.

Nick thrust a sinuous tongue into his mouth, wet and deep. Joe's head pressed into the pillow with the pressure, his hips lifting off the mattress to grind against Nick's. A hand slipped between his legs, cupping his groin and softly massaging. Joe gasped into their mouths, the long fingers moving back and forth, helping his half-erect cock to harden fully.

Sliding his hands to cup Nick's ass, he ran two fingers in between clothed cheeks. Nick moved against his hand, gasping as Joe rubbed teasingly.

Joe pushed himself off the mattress, sitting up and holding Nick still on his lap. Breaking the kiss, he lapped at Nick's lips, bit the bottom one, and pulled. He sucked it into his mouth greedily, his eyes open to watch Nick.

"Joe..." Nick palmed Joe's cock through cloth, stroking the length in quick, controlled jerks.

Joe thrust against the hand, gritting his teeth. "More..." He gasped, eyes closing as Nick stroked faster.

"Whatever you want," Nick returned, hands slipping beneath his pants and boxers to wrap around him.

Nick jerked him off, face buried on his shoulder, warm breath licking up Joe's skin. Joe tilted his head back, his awareness being pulled to just one place. He moaned softly, eyebrows furrowing in pleasure, pre-cum leaking over Nick's fingers.

Lifting his arm, his hand closed over Nick's. He stopped the boy's movement, his lungs aching for air. He had been so close, but it hadn't felt right. Something about what Nick had said felt wrong. But his muddled mind couldn't even form a coherent sentence, least of all think of what the boy had meant.

Nick looked up, confused. Mouth about to speak, Joe covered it with his. He skimmed kisses over the boy's cheeks, breathed in the scent of his neck, kissed his favorite part. Lifting Nick to his knees, Joe pushed off the shirt and worried on a nipple. He toyed with it using his tongue, biting lightly to get Nick to cry out. Sucking and pulling. He kissed down a firm abdomen, slick with sweat. His tongue swiped at the navel, bit into flesh and sucked on it until he left a mark.

Nick breathed heavily above him, moaning when Joe closed his mouth over his crotch. Pulling the thin boxers down, Joe lapped at the underside of Nick's cock, tonguing the slit and mouthing the tip. He nuzzled the stiff length, caressing the head across his kiss-swollen lips.

Joe helped Nick out of his boxers, kissing any place he could as the boy made himself comfortable. Reaching behind him beneath the pillows, he searched for the lube. He smiled into Nick's thigh as his fingers found it. He poured some onto his palm, some of it dripping to his legs, glimmering over slick skin. Joe slipped Nick's cock into his mouth, taking in what he could as he slid a finger between Nick's parted legs.

Nick's hands gripped his shoulder, as he pushed a finger in and sucked him off simultaneously. His finger slid in and out, cock throbbing in anticipation. A bead of sweat ran down the side of his face, his mouth accepting more of Nick.

Grunting, Nick fucked his mouth. Joe could feel the boy's body straining not to thrust any harder. He slid in a second finger, stretching Nick to accommodate his size. His fingers plunged deep; curling to brush against Nick's prostate. Nick stiffened immediately, his muscles closing over Joe's fingers.

"Joe," Nick panted with labored breath, reaching for the lube. "That's enough..."

Joe released Nick's cock, tongue licking off pre-cum clinging to his lips.

Nick reached for his cock, hand dripping with lube. He hissed and ground up as Nick coated him, and bit the inside of his cheek as he was stroked rapidly. A finger grazed across the slit. "Fuck..." Joe sighed, feeling light-headed.

Holding onto Nick's waist, he guided the boy onto him. He gasped out loud when he began to enter, hips giving shallow thrusts. Nick arched his back, fingernails digging into Joe's flesh as he slid inside.

Joe kissed Nick's open mouth as they adjusted, seconds crawling past until Nick was ready. He closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. Nick surrounded him, ate him up. He felt light-headed and heavy at the same time.

"Move, Joe..." his partner groaned, biting his bottom lip. The flesh turned white as he bit harder.

Joe swallowed and drove his hips up, pushing in; pulling out. Over and over. His thighs trembled at the strain. His toes shoved against the sheets as pleasure coursed through him. Nick felt so tight and warm. His body sliding against Nick's was pure bliss. Fingers raking down his back—thrilling.

Nick's groans pushed him to thrust in and out faster, making sure to hit the spot that made Nick scream.

They gazed at each other with opiated warmth. Joe's breath hitched. It was heady—the sweat, the pleasure and pain. The sight of Nick made him harder, drove him to the brink. Their eyes held onto each other as they fucked face to face. He palmed Nick against his abdomen. His other hand's fingers bit into Nick's skin.

Nick's breath against his lips was moist, heated and sweet. Joe moved forward, kissed Nick deep, and came into him, hard.

Nick groaned into their mouths. Joe felt him cum on his stomach as he fucked Nick with his tongue and cock.

It was a sky-kissing elation, while caught in each other's embrace.

They shuddered against each other; panted as their mouths joined and tongues slid together. Joe fell back onto the bed, bringing Nick with him.

They breathed heavily, limbs shaking and eyes falling closed.

Nick was heavy against him, but Joe continued the slow, sated kiss. He held what breath he had and then spent it all on the kiss. If he ended this, time would move again, and he would have to move with it. Act with it and begin what he sought out to do.

Nick was the first one to pull away, roll over, and collapse tiredly with his face pressed to the sheets. Their chests rose and fell with each breath, Joe's body tingling still.

"When do you leave?" Nick asked after they had cooled down and the world no longer spun.

"In a day or two," Joe replied, debating if he should say anything more. If he should make this any harder for both of them. "I have a few more things to pack, and my room arrangement at the student apartments hasn't been finalized yet."

"Oh."

A moment later, Nick spoke again. "You should have a going away party or something. I'm sure Demi and Miley would be able to put something together in such short notice."

Joe let the light tone settle over him, ignored the suggestion, and just listened to the voice. "Hm, that's not necessary."

"What?" Nick asked, sitting up. "Of course it is. They don't even know. They'll be pissed if you just leave without saying goodbye."

Joe gave a self-deprecating smile, "That's fine."

"But—"

"Just drop it, Nick!" He hadn't meant to yell. Really. He was just frustrated. His friends' reactions were the last thing on his mind right now.

"Whatever." Nick sat on the edge of the bed, and got ready to stand.

Joe summoned what strength he had and gripped Nick's wrist, stopping him from leaving. He moved to sit behind Nick, his legs and arms trapping Nick in between.

"Sorry," Joe murmured into Nick's shoulder, his arms wrapping around the boy's waist.

Nick nodded eventually, and stayed.

Releasing a small sigh of relief, Joe nuzzled behind Nick's ear. He kissed down the nape of the neck and then rested his cheek on it.

Nick sought his hands and laced them with his, sagging against him.

"I love you," Joe said softly as he closed his eyes. He heard Nick take a surprised breath, heard his heart beat faster.

Nick turned in his arms and pushed him to lie back down.

Joe stayed in Nick's apartment that day. They watched the traffic from Nick's balcony, flipped through channels absently. Nick cooked for him; surprisingly it wasn't ramen. They played some board games and Nick laughed at him for his bad luck. He held Nick under the spray of the shower, kissed him until their lips were swollen. They wandered to bed or the couch, and held each other close, and fucked again and again. Like it was the only thing they could do. The next morning, he and Nick separated—Nick went to school and Joe went home. Nick had only taken his palm to kiss, and whispered something Joe didn't hear. And then they had parted ways.

* * *

><p>Joe zipped his suitcase close and looked around. His suitcase was barely filled—he didn't have that many things to bring. Among his clothes and toiletries was a single picture frame. Strung around his neck was Nick's pendant. His train ticket lay on top of his sheets; the coat he planned to wear hung on the back of his chair. He checked the time; he had about an hour until his train left. His father had been busy at work, his mother had already bid him goodbye.<p>

She had spent an afternoon with him. They had talked awkwardly, but still talked. As if spurned by the moment, she told him about her high school days, how she had met his father and fallen in love. She had dreamed of little girls, but got little boys. In a silent voice, with a rare smile on her face, she confessed that in the end, she was still happy. And having Kevin come home, she had never been happier. She had told him with a tone of regret that she wished he didn't have to leave, but wouldn't dare stop him. She had never been a good mother, she had said, but wished he'd give her another chance.

Joe looked over at the box lunch beside his tickets. She had packed it for him, just in case he got hungry during the train ride.

His cab pulled around his driveway, the driver coming out to help him with his luggage. A thin drizzle made the air misty, the sun was covered by gray clouds. He sighed at the warmth inside the cab as he shut the door. Giving the driver his destination, he sat back and watched his house grow farther and farther away.

Among the passing scenery, he spotted places that had never meant anything to him before, that coaxed a reaction out of him now. He patted the pocket that held his ticket and the letter of acceptance into the school. He took a deep breath and looked away from the window.

The train station wasn't that far, and Joe soon found himself riding the escalator to the platform, his luggage in tow. He found a spot in the spacious platform, checked his train's arrival on the board, and waited.

Minutes passed quickly, the overhead speakers announced his train's arrival, and he saw its light from the distance.

Joe closed his eyes, steeled himself and just breathed.

* * *

><p>"What are you doing out here?"<p>

Nick looked up from his comic book, his attention pulled away by the voice. He grinned when he saw who it was, and patted the step he sat on.

"Old man, haven't seen you in a while," he greeted.

Archie scratched the back of his neck, grinning widely. "Yeah, well, I've been busy."

"Too busy for your babe-watching?" Nick teased as the man took the seat beside him.

Archie scowled, and then leered. "What makes you think there are no babes where I work?"

Nick laughed and shook his head. The old man never ceased to amuse him. He put his comic away, its pages a little damp from the drizzle. The traffic below them was loud. Everyone drove more carefully when it was wet. Colorful umbrellas littered the sidewalks, held by people in a hurry. The street lights and car lights seemed to ooze, glowing faintly because of the mist.

"So? What are you doing out here?" Archie repeated.

"Seemed like a good day to go out," Nick replied, looking up to the gray skies, raindrops catching on his eyelashes.

"Uh huh..." Archie didn't sound like he believed him. Nick wouldn't believe himself either.

"Any luck with that girl of yours?" the old man asked as he lit a pipe. The acrid, sweet smell of tobacco rose in the air; teased his nose.

"Uhh, no, he left."

The honk of cars and sounds of downtown filled in the silence between them. Nick looked onto the passing crowd dully, and thought he might sneeze from the smell of Archie's pipe.

"Well, that's too bad. Sounded like you really liked him." Smoke escaped Archie's mouth as he talked.

"Yeah," Nick felt a stirring in his gut and it made him choke. "I did. I do... Still."

Archie hummed, understanding. "Maybe you should tell him."

"But I don't even know where—"

"Nick."

Nick looked down; at the bottom of the steps, Kevin stood.

"How the hell do you always find me?" he yelled down, making a few people stare.

Archie looked on, puffing away at his pipe.

"Talent." Kevin smiled that familiar smile he always saw on Joe's face. Nick wanted to step down and smack it off.

"You said you weren't going to stay away from him. You want to prove it?"

Nick frowned, a little confused. Before he could yell back, however, Kevin began to walk away. Throwing a confused glance to Archie—the old man shrugged—Nick nodded goodbye and followed Joe's odd sibling. Kevin had parked along the sidewalk, the other cars moving around it.

Kevin indicated for him to get in, as he himself slid inside. Nick shrugged, threw caution to the wind, and hopped in. The car sped away, cutting through traffic and swerving lanes.

"Hey! Be a little more careful, will ya? This is how accidents happen!" Nick growled, gripping his seatbelt tight.

The asshole actually had the nerve to laugh at him and speed up.

"What did you mean prove myself?" Nick managed to ask in between reeling from coming too close to a white car and barely dodging another.

Kevin didn't say anything, just kept driving. The tires screeched when they stopped abruptly, their upper bodies moving forward then back at the momentum.

Kevin rested his hands on the wheels and sighed. Nick looked outside, eyes widening when he realized where they were. He turned to Kevin, baffled more than before.

"Why are we here?"

"Maybe, I had been selfish at the time. Thinking what didn't hurt him too much would make him stronger. Maybe I had been mistaken," Kevin said softly, as he leaned back into his chair, looking on to the wet scenery beyond the glass.

"Platform B..." Kevin murmured after the silent pause.

Nick's eyes widened. He gripped the door's handle, shoved it open and flew out of the car. He left the door gaping wide as he ran up the slick stairs. He dodged past people and hopped over the ticket gate. Taking the escalator steps two at a time, he almost slipped as he reached the top.

Nick ran along the platform before a sign caught his eye. "Platform A. Shit!"

He looked across him, to the right platform, to the train leaving the tracks.

"No, no..." Nick whispered. His voice colored with disbelief. "I don't want you to go after all! I love you, asshole!" he screamed.

His voice echoed throughout the tunnel, the train's noise eating it up. He breathed out desperately, fists curled by his sides. He shook his head, bit his lip, and berated himself for being the idiot Joe had always claimed he was. The more he had wished for Joe's happiness, the more selfish he became. But still, he had wanted him to stay; always had. It was not selfish to wish for his own happiness, right?

He looked on as the train left; shivered from a gust of wind. Teetering on the edge, he felt a dull throb settle over him. He had been selfish too late.

The end of the train moved out of the way, clearing his view of the platform across. A lone figure stood with his head bowed. Nick gaped, everything captured in stillness. The figure looked up and across, and everything moved again.

Fearing the scene would prove to be an illusion, Nick didn't dare blink. Joe pointed to the side. Nick followed where Joe indicated and he found the stairs leading to a floor connecting both platforms.

Nudging his foot to forward, he walked to the steps at the end of the platform. His pace quickened as he got closer. He saw Joe do the same. He rushed up the steps, propelled by the realization that Joe was still there.

Joe met him halfway on the second floor, his luggage by his side.

Nick tried to catch his breath and flushed at the wide smile he couldn't suppress.

"Hey," he greeted.

"...Hey," Joe replied. He looked a bit confused, but a smile tugged at his lips.

"You're still here," Nick said, just a bit astonished.

Joe shrugged, his hair fluttering in the tunnel's breeze. "I didn't want to go."

Nick sighed, nodding in understanding and in relief. "As long as it's what you wanted."

"Yeah, it is."

Nick beamed and took Joe's luggage. He grabbed Joe by the arm and started to drag the boy down the stairs. "Good! Then let's go! You brother's probably waiting. Maybe he got a parking ticket, too. 'Cause he parked at a no parking zone. Let's hope he does. What a pain in the ass."

Joe stopped walking, forcing Nick to stop as well. "My brother?"

"Yeah, he drove me here," Nick explained.

"Why?"

"Hell if I know. Anyways, let's go." He started to walk again.

Joe didn't budge. "Wait. Why are you here?"

Nick stiffened, recalled what he had screamed in public, and flushed. "Uhh..."

By Joe's reaction, he probably hadn't heard. _Good_. "Umm, no reason."

"What? You're lying!" Joe accused.

Nick dragged them out of there and kept dodging Joe's questions. He hugged Joe quickly, smiling into his shoulder, and then let go before the boy even had time to react.

Kevin did get a ticket, and Nick thought that overall, it had been a good day.

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p>

Thoughts? I really want 'em. I crave them! Did you cry? ;) I love hearing your emotions and thoughts. VENT! :D

* * *

><p>(P.S. I used Nick's name 144 times! :O)<p> 


	31. Stumbling Toward Recovery

Chapter 31 — Stumbling Toward Recovery

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><p>The wall's shadow hid them from sun and sight. Crouched down, they marked the roof with white chalk. Nick chuckled smugly as he cut a line across three "O"s. Joe glowered at his incomplete set of "X"s. Starting a new grid, Nick placed an "O" in the middle. Joe would have claimed one of the corners. Placing it in the middle made it far too easy to predict, but it didn't seem to worry Nick.<p>

Joe marked the top right corner, his arm brushing against Nick's as he moved the chalk over the ground. From the corner of his eye, he watched Nick's mouth move side to side in thought. A pink tongue peaked out briefly. Joe's gaze drew back to the grid and he smirked as he foiled a set Nick was trying to accomplish.

Nick tsked, and then continued. His chalked finger firmed against the white stick as he completed his sloppy "O."

Joe raised an eyebrow at the new arrangement and looked at his incomplete set of "X"s. Surveying the blank spaces remaining and Nick's own set, he tasted oncoming victory. He raised his hand to draw, the tip dotting the makeshift grid.

Nick's soles scraped against the roof's floor as he turned, their arms brushing. Joe's skin tingled from the touch. He looked up curiously, eyes widening in surprise when Nick's lips touched his. The chalk fell from his lax fingers as Nick pressed forward, withdrew, kissed him once more, kissed the side of his mouth, his cheeks, his earlobe, jaw, and then back to his lips again. Their foreheads met, bangs brushing.

Casting his mild surprise away, he met Nick's kisses, his simple touches. Joe's eyes fluttered closed, head tilting to the side to give Nick better access to his lips. There were butterflies in his stomach, hundreds. His breath was stubbornly caught in his throat. Nick nudged him with his lips and obligingly, Joe raised his hand and buried his chalky fingers in Nick's hair.

Nick moved to draw away, but Joe held onto brown hair firmly, not yet ready to let go. Joe held their kiss for a handful of seconds. In time, he drew back, bumped his forehead lightly against Nick's, and picked up his abandoned chalk.

Nick did the same and they resumed their game.

* * *

><p>North Ridge High School accepted him back. Aside from the frowns and curious glances he received now and then, it wasn't as awkward as he thought it would be.<p>

"He thinks he's so great, transferring to an elite school and then moving back so casually."

Joe paused at the end of the hall.

"I heard he got accepted immediately. Didn't even have to take the exams," another voice added to the gossip.

"Just because his family's rich and well-known. First, he's too good for us, and then he couldn't stand to be in a school filled with people like him, so he comes back where he feels special," someone cut in snidely.

"Pfft, Jonas has always been full of himself."

"Hey, I heard he rejected Ami from class 2-D. She's cute! Who does he think he is?"

More comments followed in similar fashion. Their voices echoed dully, like there was water in his ears. Joe closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Calmed, he opened them, and walked forward. As he passed the group, a few looked away. One or two didn't. He felt their gazes on the back of his neck. He walked on, not wishing to be late for the third class.

* * *

><p>Joe watched as Nick placed the kettle on the stovetop and turned the dial up high. Two cups of ramen sat on the counter, their lids opened halfway. Nick scratched his calf with his big toe. It was endearing somehow. The long hem of his pajamas pooled onto the floor when he stood on both legs again. His shirtless back was paler than the skin on his arms. A faint mark stood out from the sun-kissed expanse.<p>

Joe placed two fingers on his lips at the memory of how that mark came to be there. He watched Nick's every move from his seat, his elbows planted on the table's surface.

"Nick," Joe addressed after mulling over the thought all morning.

"Yeah?"

"My parents told me to bring a guest for dinner. Come with me?" he invited. He fingered a ringed pattern on the kitchen table's wooden surface.

Silence met his query. He looked away from the spot to see Nick shake his head.

"Bring Demi."

Frowning, Joe demanded, "Am I dating Demi?"

"No," Nick answered quickly. "Did they tell you to bring whoever you were dating?"

"No," Joe countered. "They said to bring a guest." He left the mark on the wooden table to itself, and stood. Walking up to Nick, he held him from behind. His arms went around the familiar waist, his lips automatically claiming a kiss on the curve of a shoulder.

"I want you to come," he murmured onto the warm skin. Nick smelled of soap and of them.

"Is it a special occasion or something?" Nick asked, looking over his shoulder.

"No, nothing like that. It's just dinner," Joe reassured, resting his chin on Nick's shoulder. "My parents are going to be there. Kevin might come too. One or two of my father's associates as well." He lifted his hand to cup Nick's chin and nuzzled the soft cheek. "You and me."

"Your whole family together? I think that applies as a special occasion." Nick sagged in his arms, side of the head rubbing against his.

"It's not a family," Joe hissed. Catching himself, he sighed wearily. He ran his thumb across the skin between Nick's eyebrows, knowing it would crease. "Sorry, I have a way of ruining the mood."

"What mood?" Nick laced his fingers with the ones drawing patterns on his stomach. "There's no mood here."

"Sure, there is." Joe's hand, along with Nick's, slid down and played with the loose hem of blue pajamas. His other hand fingered Nick's collarbone, massaging the skin and tracing the bone beneath.

Joe wished he hadn't been wearing his shirt. He wanted to feel his chest touching Nick's back, loved it when they were slick with sweat.

Nick leaned further against him and closed his eyes. The small sigh that escaped sounded content. But there was still a crease between his brows. Joe could feel the back tense against his chest, the hand that held his grew still.

"What are you thinking, Nick?"

The dark lashes fluttered open, head turning to meet his gaze.

"I wouldn't know what to wear." Joe began to chuckle. "I wouldn't know how to talk to them if they spoke to me." He cut his amusement off at the serious light in Nick's eyes.

"Oh." Joe breathed and bumped his head softly with Nick's. "Well, I sort of wanted you to come for those same reasons. I wouldn't know what to say either. I figured you'd do a better job at talking to them than I could."

The sharp whistle of the kettle startled them, successfully slicing the somber atmosphere. Nick smiled softly, before disengaging himself from Joe and attended to their breakfast.

Joe let go with reluctance and watched Nick move around the small kitchen. When Nick opened a cupboard, Joe spied an extra cup, two more plates, and several bowls. Compared to what the cupboard previously contained, it seemed the number of dishes had doubled. Walking up to the counter quickly, he snatched the extra cup in his hand. Nick looked to him curiously, to the cup, and then back to him. Realization dawned in his face, a thin flush coloring it.

"You're over here a lot. They were on sale the other day," Nick explained.

_The other day_, Joe thought. The day he almost left.

Nick scratched the back of his head and said a little embarrassedly, "I wouldn't know what to do with them, if you had gone. Just a lot of dishes to wash, I guess." He laughed; feigned humor, unable to cover up his complete unease.

Smiling softly, Joe placed the cup down on the counter. He traced its smooth lip and noted the simple leaf design on its outer walls. It looked ordinary, but wasn't.

"Good thing I didn't leave then," he said, more to himself.

"Heh, Yeah." Nick's voice exuded some calm now, and relief. Joe hoped he was reading him right.

"Why didn't you?" Nick followed, closing the distance between them.

Joe allowed himself to be pushed, and sat on the counter. Nick stood flanked by his open legs, hands warming the spot covering his thighs.

"At the platform," Joe slid his hand up Nick's arm. "I prepared myself. Ran the campus's map in my head. Calculated how long it would take to go from class to class. I remembered the teachers' names for every subject. Had my introduction speech prepared." He squeezed Nick's bicep and moved along.

"I had been so excited, I couldn't wait." He felt Nick tense up, so he rubbed the arm to soothe. "But when the train came, I couldn't move." He shook his head. "I wanted to go so badly, but my feet wouldn't let me." He laughed nervously. It sounded ridiculous.

"Heh," Nick massaged Joe's thighs up and down, giving them a firm squeeze. "Good legs, good," he cooed jokingly.

Joe snickered. "Dumbass."

The smile on his face tugged wider at Nick's cheeky grin. The idiot was irresistible.

He leaned forward effortlessly, and stopped just a short breath away from touching Nick's lips with his. Their breath mingled. The warm air bounced off their mouths and cheeks. Joe shut his eyes and breathed deeply when Nick consumed the small space between them to seize his mouth.

Nick's tongue pushed his lips open, stroking his teeth and tongue. The hands on his thighs slid higher to grasp his hips and pull him closer. Blunt fingernails dug into his flesh, eliciting a shiver down his spine.

The back of his head met the cupboard's door, his hands finding purchase around Nick's neck.

Kissing Nick—lips and teeth grazed along his throat—was something he couldn't leave behind. Hands cupped his ass and squeezed. The naked chest over his was warm, fitting against him perfectly. His breath came out in short, heated pants. A groan escaped his lips as Nick mouthed the skin over his pulse.

"Joe..." That voice, his touch...

He gasped when Nick's fingers slipped underneath his pants, wrapping around his semi-erect cock. Sure strokes willed his hips to rock against Nick's hand. He pushed the shirt up for his lips to descend over a nipple. A wet tongue lapped across and over it. He felt more than heard Nick groan huskily.

Moving his fingers up Nick's neck, he ran them through the rich and thick curly hair, all the while gasping at every stroke and lick being administered to his body. His head swam and body ached with pleasure.

"I'll go." Nick's voice sounded distant, but perhaps it was just the haze clouding his mind.

"What?" he asked for clarification.

Nick ceased his ministrations and held him upright. Joe noticed his half-sitting, half-reclined position.

"I'll go to that dinner thing," Nick was saying as he gave Joe room to adjust. His hand, oddly, was still around Joe's cock. Realizing this as well, Nick grinned and released him. "Just don't leave me with your brother, or something. He's a creepy bastard."

A bark of laughter escaped Joe's lips without notice. He enjoyed the mirth, let it die slowly, and ended it with a smile. He traced his upturned lips with his fingers. Nick had a way of making a lot of those appear.

"Did you have to come to a decision right then?" Joe husked, feeling his cock strain against his pants. He refused to acknowledge the petulant quality of his voice. He had been at a very nice place.

Joe finger-combed his disheveled hair as he worked on regulating his breathing. He would have been a little annoyed that Nick seemed to have perfect control of his, if it wasn't for the unmistakable flush on the boy's face. He forgave Nick easily.

The brunette smirked. "Meh."

Nick frowned down at the cup ramen sitting abandoned on the counter. The noodles had unfortunately absorbed most of the water and looked very inedible.

"Damn, there goes breakfast." Nick tsked as he tossed the noodles, cup and all, into the trash. He looked to Joe expectantly and gestured to the fridge. "Eggs?"

Joe's features scrunched in distaste. Looking out the window at the sunny weather, Joe had a better idea. Hopping off the counter, he walked the short distance between him and Nick. "How about you shower, dress up, and we'll go out."

"Hm?" Nick blinked, surprised. "I thought you didn't want to leave my apartment for the next three days...?"

Joe grinned. "To be continued... later."

Nick rolled his eyes. At Joe's insistent pushing, he raised his hand up in surrender. "Fine, fine." Then, stopping mid-step, he eyed Joe with an amused light in his eyes. "Is this, by any chance, a date?" He fluttered his lashes in such a girly fashion that Joe felt an urge to smack him.

Joe snorted. "Yeah, whatever."

The full-blown grin Nick threw at him might as well have been accompanied by a "whee!" and a skip.

Shaking his head in feigned dismay, Joe followed after his often ridiculous best friend to get cleaned up as well.

"Shower with me?" Nick's voice carried from his room.

Joe walked faster.

* * *

><p>The streets were busy and crowded. It was a challenge to keep Nick in sight and not bump into anyone at the same time. Joe followed the bouncing tuff of curly hair as he dodged a group of people.<p>

The sun on his skin and the heat penetrating his clothes felt nice. And the wind had enough chill in it to make it more pleasant. The morning sun still hung over the blue sky. The air was crisp and smelled of asphalt. It had been a good idea to go out.

A man bumped into his shoulder, sloshing the cup of coffee he held as he hurried past. Joe hissed at the sharp impact, and lost sight of Nick.

"Shit." He looked around him and bit his lip as he tried to find the familiar back.

"Hey! Could you walk any slower?" Nick asked beside him.

Joe quenched the impulse to throttle the boy. "Well, don't walk so fast!"

They stood staring at each other as the crowd moved around them like stream water around lodged rocks.

Finally, Nick gave in and grabbed his hand and gave an exaggerated sigh.

"Idiot, what are you doing?" Joe half-panicked.

Frowning, Nick looked to the crowd for a moment before facing him once more. "So you don't get lost, bastard!"

"I'm not some kid—" Joe began to protest. Nick wasn't listening as he was tugged forward. Tripping a little, Joe had no choice but to follow.

They passed shops, peered into a few, and took note of a couple restaurants. But he hardly recalled where they went, where they had stopped. His attention was drawn to the feel of his hand clutched by Nick's. It was a different sort of warmth, quite unlike the sun's that shone above them, but just as pleasant. Their shoulders and arms brushed occasionally. Nick's grip, perhaps unconscious, would tighten when they had to get through thick crowds. Holding hands wasn't really necessary anymore. They walked in equal strides now. Really there was no longer a need to hold on. Joe tightened his grip. Maybe one more block.

His attention elsewhere, Joe almost bumped into Nick when they stopped without warning. Catching himself on time, he looked first to Nick and then followed where the boy had been looking. Through the show glass were pale mannequins in suits. Fitted jackets hung elegantly on plastic shoulders. Silk ties gleamed under the soft light. The shop's name was emblazoned on the glass. Subtle enough that it didn't scream for attention, but creative enough that the eyes couldn't help but glance toward it.

"Nick, this is..."

"I don't own one," Nick cut in softly, as if realizing it for the first time.

"Own what?" Joe asked, retrieving his hand from Nick's grip.

"A suit," he answered plainly. "Since I'm going to that dinner thing, shouldn't I get one?" he asked, turning to Joe.

Looking between Nick and the glass doors, he scratched his cheek idly. "You don't have to dress up, it's not that formal."

"Will you be wearing one?" There was a strange light in Nick's eyes. It was a little eager and a little of something unidentifiable.

"Uh, yeah, I guess," Joe answered.

Smiling excitedly and with a firm nod, Nick turned swiftly in the direction of the shop doors.

"Huh? Hey! Nick, where are you going?"

"To buy a suit!"

Joe smirked at the confident tone. "Fine." He caught up with Nick and pushed open the doors.

They stepped into the air conditioned shop, eyes automatically swiveling to the main display. A far too helpful employee tended to them at once. They discussed what Nick wanted, and an array of choices were shown to them.

Joe hid a smile as he watched Nick flit from suit to suit. He coughed uncomfortably, and refrained from dragging Nick to a change room to have his way with him as the boy tried on several tempting outfits. The jacket framing Nick's chest, the pants hugging his ass and draping down his legs, the unbuttoned shirt flashing a slice of smooth chest; Joe had to look away.

Distracting himself on purpose, he walked up to the tie rack. Skimming through a few, he found one that was just right.

After making their purchases, they found a place that still served breakfast. Nick prattled on excitedly and stole off his plate. Joe glared daggers and returned in kind. An exhausting battle was fought over a stick of sausage, but in the end Nick's fork was faster.

Joe's hand gripped the top of the washroom cubicle, the muscles in his neck straining at the effort to keep quiet. Gasping continually, he looked down at Nick's moving head and stroking hand. He shuddered at the hard suction and warm tongue sweeping the underside of his cock. His hips thrust involuntarily in the wet mouth, other hand gripping Nick's shoulder.

"Nick..." he keened, eyes falling shut. Feeling his senses heighten and burst, he came into Nick's mouth exhaustedly. He shook and sagged against the cubicle's wall, gasping for breath.

Nick wiped his mouth and stood, eyes glazed with lust. "There, now quit pouting over the damn sausage."

Joe opened his mouth to retort, but couldn't find the energy to do so. Instead, he pulled Nick to him and kissed the tempting lips. He ran his tongue over Nick's teeth, shuddering as he tasted cum and spit. "Fuck you, Jones," he growled, their lips touching. He claimed Nick's mouth again and prevented the laughter that he knew would follow.

* * *

><p>Joe noted the time as he knocked on Nick's door. He heard a bit of shuffling and then the door was flung open. Nick grinned at him, eyes welcoming behind damp bangs. His dress shirt was unbuttoned, chest heaving as if he had just run for the door.<p>

Joe shut the door behind him as Nick jogged to his room. Following in his friend's wake, he was met with chaos. The bed was unmade, clothes were strewn all over the floor, a soggy towel draped on a bed post, and books and utensils were all over the desk.

"What happened here?" he asked, walking over the mess. But he could take a pretty accurate guess.

"I napped after school. Alarm didn't go off. Just showered. Sorry I'm not ready. Mr. Davis gave extra work today, just finished it. I threw the shirt in the washer and it took a while. I haven't even had dinner yet," Nick listed as he moved around the room.

Joe caught Nick by the tie he was trying valiantly to choke himself with. "Nick, you're getting dressed up for dinner," he reminded.

Nick ceased all movements and blinked. Clarity made its way to the surface of his face and for the first time since Joe arrived, Nick settled down.

"Oh, right. Dinner," Nick laughed sheepishly.

Joe smirked and pulled the tie forward, catching Nick's lips in a chaste kiss. A couple minutes later, Joe found himself pinning Nick to the bed. His hand cupped the back of his friend's head, his thigh pressing insistently against Nick's groin. Coming up for air, Joe grunted mournfully at the time. Nick looked far too tempting to stop right at that moment.

"Get off, you're wrinkling my shirt." Nick pushed, and got up.

Joe pressed his face against the mattress. It smelled like Nick's shampoo. He groaned in frustration.

"Damn, how the hell do you tie this thing?" Nick complained from behind him.

Joe heaved himself up and straightened his clothes. Walking around to face Nick, he took the tie in his hand. Nick's hands fell away as he expertly weaved the silk cloth into order. He tightened the knot carefully and drew up the collar. Sweeping his hand over the cloth, he looked up to find Nick's surprised gaze on him.

He smiled softly. "At least Kevin taught me _something_ well."

"Thanks," Nick grinned. After a brief pause, Nick brought their foreheads together, "Thanks for inviting me."

"Idiot, no need to thank me," he murmured, suddenly feeling his throat tighten. Clearing it, he reached for Nick's jacket and handed it to him. "Let's go."

* * *

><p>The dining room was rarely used. Joe had almost forgotten they had one. Now, the place was lit beautifully for atmosphere. Steaming meals were laid out over the surface of the table. All seats were occupied as the light, clear metallic sounds of forks and knives joined the quiet din of the room. Music floated from the other room, melding with the tiniest murmurs of conversation.<p>

Joe reached for his drink, washing away the taste of his food. Looking to his left, Nick ate zealously. His father's guests would address his friend at times and they would carry a small conversation. It had been awkward at first. It was still awkward now, but at least it wasn't so noticeable. Only when it got too quiet, when everyone all at once had nothing to say.

Every so often, Joe felt Nick's foot brush his. Like when his father started talking about his sons' future like it was his to decide. Like when the woman his father had invited would boldly wipe sauce off his father's chin. Flicking his eyes to his mother, Joe fought off a frown. Her face was impeccably wiped off of any negative expressions, like her expensive porcelain plates; perfect and just for show. Kevin conversed with another of their father's associates. The air of coolness had never left him. Even when the woman beside their father casually laid her hand on his wrist as her tinkling laughter danced with the music. It was a little disheartening.

His father's associate coughed abrasively, easily gaining everyone's attention. "I think we'll need to discuss that contract soon, Jonas."

"Ah, yes. Shall we move to the den?" Joe's father invited.

Agreement was voiced simultaneously and the group broke apart. Joe and Nick remained in their seat, while Kevin walked outside to the garden with their mother.

"That was... erm." Nick moved his hand in the air, searching for a word to describe the evening so far.

"Ridiculous?" Joe offered.

"Not exactly what I was looking for," Nick grinned.

Joe sighed, slouching into his seat. "Let's get some fresh air."

Almost immediately, Nick sprang out of his seat, stretching animatedly. "Oh, wow," he groaned, raising his arms. "I've wanted to do that for a while."

Joe smirked and led the way out of the dining room. Nick kept a flow of commentary going as they passed several rooms.

"Hey, where's the fresh air?" Nick hooked a thumb toward the balcony doors. "Isn't it that way?" he asked suspiciously.

"No," he answered simply.

Reaching the intended door, he twitched his head to the side for Nick to precede him. He followed right after and closed the door after them. The narrow doorway led them outdoors, to the other side of the house. A dark car was parked under a looming oak, fallen leaves caught under its tires. With a press of a button from the set of keys he held, the lights flashed and dimmed.

"Uhh, Joe..." Nick walked closer to the vehicle. "This car, I'm not thinking what you're thinking, am I?"

Joe came up behind Nick and pushed him against the side of the car. "Why, Nick? What are you thinking?" He breathed into the brunette's ear. Nick shivered beneath him, reading Joe's intentions clearly.

"Shit, Kevin's going to kill you."

Joe smiled against Nick's hair as he breathed in the soft scent. "Only if he finds out," he whispered in scheming tones.

Turning Nick to face him, Joe slipped a leg between Nick's. He moved his thigh against the crotch as he covered Nick's lips with his own. Swiping his tongue along soft lips, he tasted the wine his mother had served. Parting Nick's lips with his tongue, he tasted more of the bittersweet flavor. He wrapped arms around the solid chest, sliding his palm down the smooth jacket. The kiss grew fervent, drawing longer and growing more heated.

He swallowed Nick's moans, his groin rubbing against Nick's pant leg. Wandering hands cupped his ass and spit ran down his chin. His heart beat at a frantic pace. The cool evening breeze hardly touched him, his suit too warm for his heated body. Nick's tongue playing with his had his cock hardening immediately. The brunette's fragrance sent tendrils of pleasure up and down his spine, making his stomach flip.

Pausing for breath, Joe gave Nick some space. The brunette's eyes were closed, lips parted, sucking in air. When they opened, they were glazed. An attractive flush covered his cheeks and his features stood out in moonlight.

"You look good in a suit." Joe smirked. He moved a dark curl away—the hair caught in the lashes—and laid a kiss on Nick's lips. The wet sound mixed with the whisper of their jackets rubbing together.

Nick perked up, grinning as if pleased. "I know I do," he said, his voice ringing with confidence.

Joe groped between their legs, cupping Nick's erection through the cloth. "You think I look good in a suit too, huh?" He smirked knowingly.

"I think you'd look better out of it," Nick growled as Joe stroked him.

Finding the latch quickly, Joe swung the door open. He shoved Nick inside to land on the back seat and he followed. The interior light went off as soon as the door slammed shut and they were bathed in dim light. Nick barely had time to protest as Joe straddled him, quick fingers unbuttoning and unzipping pressed pants. He pulled the tucked dress shirt loose, grinning at the smooth abdomen. Bending down, he lapped a circle around Nick's navel and nipped at the flesh stretched over hard muscles. Raking fingers upwards, he caught Nick's nipple between thumb and index finger. He rubbed the nipple, pulled and squeezed.

Nick gasped beneath him, chest involuntarily moving against his touch.

Sliding off Nick, he positioned the boy's legs to rest on his shoulders. Joe brought the dark pants down, kissing the exposed skin. He licked a wet path along the underside of Nick's cock. Relishing the gasp and moan from Nick, he held the hard, heavy length and mouthed the tip. He pumped smoothly, panting as his cock pushed against the cloth of his pants.

"Joe... Joe," Nick groaned above him. His legs tensed and kicked as his gasps got louder.

Fingernails dug into the leather seat, knuckles white. The cushion groaned under their weight. Joe hadn't realized he'd been rocking against the seat trying to relieve the pleasure pooling around his crotch. Slipping Nick's cock out of his mouth, he climbed up the slim body until he could reach the sweat-slicked neck. He noticed distractedly that the windows had fogged up. That amused him.

He nuzzled his lips against Nick's neck and kissed the skin behind an ear. Their movements were annoyingly limited, the space cramped. Nick's leg awkwardly hung off the seat, foot on the carpeted floor. His other foot was pressed against the back of the seat, his cock pressing against Joe's stomach insistently. An arm was thrown around Joe's neck as the other made short work of his shirt and the zipper of his pants.

Joe drew up for a second and threw off his jacket. It was still hot, but not as restricting. The heat was audible now. His bangs clung wetly to his forehead, his shirt hugging his skin.

"Hurry up," Nick groaned. "My ass is sticking to the stupid leather!"

"That doesn't sound very attractive, idiot." Joe snickered.

"Shut your hole! Who's the one with the kink 'bout doing it in his brother's car!" Nick made to move, but Joe stopped him easily. He stroked Nick's cock, spreading the pre-cum over the tip. Nick groaned.

"You like the idea," Joe stated matter-of-factly.

Moving his thigh up, Nick caught him by surprise. Joe cried out as Nick's thigh pressed against his aching cock.

The brunette snickered, eyes looking almost sinister in the half-light. "I wonder who likes it more," he purred.

Joe didn't say anything and bent down to claim the smiling lips. He tasted sweat in their mixed spit.

"Hey, Jones..."

Nick hummed curiously in response.

"I'm gonna fuck you now," Joe murmured on the brunette's lips. He felt the smile widen.

He pushed Nick's pants down; they settled at his ankles. It could have been comical if he was in the mood to laugh. But at the moment, all he was concerned about was finding the lube in the pocket he had thrown it in earlier. Once he found the bottle, he poured a great amount onto his palm. He cursed when it dripped on the carpet.

Nick lifted his hips for him, gasping when Joe pushed a finger inside. The legs on his shoulders shook as he stretched the brunette. Another finger joined the first. His cheek rested on Nick's thigh, their slick skin clinging uncomfortably. It was messy.

Nick grunted in between gasps, his hips lifting off the seat when Joe pressed on his prostate.

"Joe, fuck, hurry up will you? I'm going to..." Nick moaned, cutting off his words, eyebrows drawn together. A bead of sweat slid sideways from his forehead to his hair.

"Don't you dare," Joe threatened. He gritted his teeth and coated his cock with lubricant. He hissed as he pumped himself, shuddering at the ball of pressure in his stomach.

He lifted Nick's hips, his shoulders feeling the weight of the muscled legs. His sigh turned into a grunt as he entered Nick slowly. Feeling a bead of sweat travel down his back, he thrust in deeper. His feet pushed against the seat and walls for leverage, the back of his head occasionally beat on the car's roof.

"Fuck!" Kevin's chair suffered some more abuse as Nick's hand sought something to grip.

"Nick, I..." Joe took a great gulp, his mouth dry at the looming pleasure.

"Just move..." the brunette panted. The leather groaned under his hold.

Nodding his head, Joe moved. He drove in quickly, pulled out with a grunt, and pushed in, his eyebrows knotted. His fingernails dug into Nick's thigh as he bent the brunette at the waist, penetrating deep.

Nick cried out, his cock dripping with pre-cum. A thin line of saliva streamed down Nick's chin. His eyes were closed, head thrown back.

Joe felt his balls slap against Nick's cheeks and felt the pressure in him build and build and build. His throat tightened, heart beating an incredible pace. He came in mid-thrust, legs trembling uncontrollably.

Pulling out and still buzzing with pleasure, he slipped Nick's cock into his mouth. He sucked, his head bobbing up and down as he pulled pleasured moans from Nick. Pushing two fingers inside Nick's dripping hole, he found the brunette's prostate and pressed softly.

Nick hissed out a curse and tugged at Joe's dark hair. His cum coated Joe's tongue, cock pushing into his mouth. The brunette shuddered, and then sagged boneless onto the seat.

They gasped for breath. The air inside was musky and warm.

"Jonas, open the door," Nick demanded tiredly.

"Fix yourself up first, idiot," Joe rebuffed. He moved with satiated slowness and almost gave into the impulse to pass out in his brother's car.

Their shirts were predictably wrinkled, but with the jacket thrown over it, they almost passed presentable. They sighed appreciatively at the blast of evening air once they stepped out. The car's door was closed immediately, trapping the hot air inside. Nick looked at him oddly, but Joe only flashed a devious grin.

Shaking his head, Nick drawled, "I'm not scraping you off the floor once he's done with you. Not to mention collecting pieces of you all over the place."

Joe's grin only grew wider.

Nick couldn't help but grin as well. "It's your funeral, man." He snickered.

They leaned against the car, heads turning up to view the dark sky.

"You think they're wondering where we are?" Nick asked, hands in his pockets.

Joe shook his head no, since he was used to them not caring. But he recalled how his mother had fretted over their suits and appearance when they had arrived, and thought maybe, just maybe, she had noticed their absence.

"Should we go back?" Nick wondered.

Joe felt the breeze cool the back of his neck. He sighed and closed his eyes. He didn't want to go back. He didn't want to see that woman fawn over his father shamelessly. He didn't want to see the pain his mother felt, even though she was so good at hiding it. He didn't want to see Kevin be treated like one of the family, because no matter how hard they tried, Kevin wasn't. They weren't a family, just tattered cloth ripped into unidentifiable pieces. He...

A hand tapped his chin up, startling him. Joe opened his eyes and looked beside him. Nick smiled, concern in his comforting expression.

"Something wrong?"

Joe grabbed the nape of Nick's neck and drew him forward. He kissed Nick like he meant it, fell in love with him more and more.

Unlocking their lips, he rested their foreheads together. He hummed at ease and reassured Nick everything was fine.

"If you two are finished, you may want to join us inside," Kevin's voice interrupted.

They drew apart quickly and glanced at his brother. He was almost invisible. His dark hair and suit blended in with the shadows and his pale face stood out from the dark eerily.

"How long have you been standing there?" Nick asked. His hand clutched at his chest, comically surprised.

Kevin tilted his head to the side. "Long enough."

Joe frowned, displeased.

"That doesn't answer anything!" Nick accused. "Are you some kind of pervert?"

Joe's eyes widened in mild-shock.

"Why?" Kevin smirked annoyingly. "Were you doing something perverted?"

Out of habit, Nick crossed his arms, a pout appearing on his lips. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

Joe took a step back when Kevin smiled. He frowned at the almost casual air between the two.

After a moment of silence rolled past, Kevin turned and expected them to follow. With a nonchalant shrug, Nick bumped his shoulder against Joe's and walked toward the door.

Kevin led them to the balcony where everyone was seated and conversing. Upon their arrival, his mother came up to them and remarked on their mussed hair and messy appearances. They didn't bother to come up with an excuse because she didn't pursue the subject.

"Joe," his father interrupted—it may have been the first time he had been addressed all night. "It was too bad you didn't go to that school. I heard good things about it."

His tongue felt dry. Words wouldn't form, but he forced his mouth to say something anyways.

"I like where I am," he answered truthfully.

A shadow of an emotion passed over his father's face before a crude imitation of a smile replaced it. "Good, good!" His father clapped a large hand on his shoulder. It was a foreign feeling, almost unwelcome. "As long as you know what you want."

His father didn't even put effort in hiding the disappointment.

A discrete hand brushed against his and he suddenly felt grounded and calmed. There had been understanding in that touch. He turned to thank Nick, but instead found his brother. Nick was in the dining room, busily agreeing to what his mother was saying.

"My keys, little brother."

Joe stared at Kevin's calmly raised hand, noted the lines on his palm. Reaching into his pocket, he retrieved the keys and set them down to catch on Kevin's fingers. The clink of metal woke him a little. He stopped himself from making a lame excuse about finding them. Kevin always saw through his lies.

They were left alone when their parents sent the guests off. Kevin's gaze seemed less sharp, but was still hard to read. They stood face to face and Joe waited.

Kevin's arm moved fluidly, fingers formed in a sort of deformed "o", his expression soft. The past and the present overlapped, a younger Kevin, a younger him. The image ended when he felt a hard flick on his forehead, and Kevin's fingers drew away. Joe's hand automatically rubbed the spot as he winced. His feet took a short step back.

"Oww, brother—" his young voice spoke for him. Startled, he shut his mouth. The memory ended.

Kevin moved around him without a word. Joe watched him open the door and stared at his back.

The day Kevin had left, that back had been smaller, but still exuded strength.

The memory flitted by; he returned to the present. The door shut and Kevin was gone.

Rubbing at his forehead, Joe smiled.

Nick walked up beside him. "Baby steps."

"Yeah," Joe nodded. "Something like that."

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p>

* * *

><p>(I used Joe's name 137 times, and Nick's name was used <span>209<span> times! WUT. :O )


	32. Endless Spiral

This is the last chapter! I don't know whether to put a smiley face or a frown! I love this story so much, but I'm sad to see it go! I hope you've enjoyed reading it as much I had fun writing it. I made myself laugh and cry, so I hope it's been even better for you. :) I'd like to think this story has had a little bit in it for everybody. Hopefully, anyway... And God knows there were enough sex scenes for all you nymphomaniacs! _Yeesh! _Those are not easy to write, you know. :P Anyway. Agh. This is my last rant for a while. It's hard to end it! Just read the chapter! _Sniffle._

* * *

><p>Chapter 32 — Endless Spiral<p>

* * *

><p>The flower vase clacked softly against the smooth marble sill as Nick set it down. The water contained within sloshed around the cut stems and then settled in calm ripples. With gentle fingers he arranged the vibrant bunch of white daisies and yellow tulips, straightening the petals and leaves. Nick knelt down and removed a handkerchief from his pocket to wipe off the dirt that had gathered on the marble tribute. He leaned forward and caressed the engraved names fondly. Taking a deep breath, he caught the thick fragrance of flowers and wet earth that had saturated permanently in the peaceful place.<p>

After a moment of gathering himself, he cleared his throat to speak, "Emily picked those from Auntie's garden. They're pretty. I thought you guys would like them."

He bowed his head and rose slowly, patting dust from his pants. Tiny leaves blew past, swirling about him. The graveyard invoked humility and silence.

"I'm doing fine. I keep the apartment clean. Joe makes sure of it." He chuckled softly. "Umm, and old lady Viv keeps me fed. Joe and her don't get along that well, I don't know why. She said he reminded her of someone. It's funny to see them argue like cats though."

He rocked his heels back and slipped his hands in his pockets. "There's this old man at the bridge who reminds me of grandpa. Maybe that's why I listen to what he has to say sometimes." Nick pondered out loud, "He sure likes women. Maybe I should introduce him to old lady Vivian."

A cloud's shadow sheltered him from the soft rays of the morning sun. His amusement gentled—his expression sobering. "I'm doing alright, mom, dad. I'm not by myself anymore. I have friends. I hope you like the flowers. I'll bring you some more next time. Also..." He bowed his head. It was still embarrassing to say. "I hope you like Joe when you meet him."

Blinking back the sharp stinging around his eyes, Nick grinned as he looked up. He sighed with relief, glad to get a few things off his chest. Running his fingers through his hair, he looked at his parents' and grandparents' resting place one last time. "I have to go."

And he left.

* * *

><p>"Hee! Oh, Jared! Can we sit with you? Please? Please?"<p>

The cheery request pierced the air. Nick looked outside his group of friends as they stood in front of the dessert shop to see what the commotion was about. Jared, along with Grant and Rebecca, were quickly approaching. Following them were three members of Jared's fan club, desperately vying for his attention.

Joe snickered beside Nick, while Miley and Demi tsked in understanding.

Reaching the shop's door, Jared paused and eyed the group with obvious contemplation. Looking beyond him, Jared met Joe's eyes and everyone waited for what he had to say.

"I don't know how you tolerate this sort of thing, Jonas," Jared wondered, with a touch of exhaustion at the end.

Nick squawked undignified when Joe's arm suddenly came around his waist and he was pulled up against the other boy. "Easy. Just get a boyfriend, Jared," Joe recommended, his lips very close to Nick's ears.

Nick shivered and pushed Joe away, annoyed. Miley and Demi giggled along with those present.

Jared's eyes narrowed. They watched as a slow, almost creepy grin lifted one side of his lips. "Well, I should start plotting a way to take Nick from you, then."

A series of gasps went around and Nick once again found himself in Joe's possessive arms. He tried to break free, but Joe held on tight. He chuckled into Joe's shirt when the boy began growling.

With a pleased smile, Jared opened the doors and seemed to glide in.

Demi shook her head. "Damn, my shift starts in a couple of minutes, see you guys inside," she announced after glancing at her watch. Miley saluted them and followed Demi into the shop.

"Uhh, Joe, let go," Nick protested, his nose buried in Joe's hair. Sniffing, he smelled his shampoo. That was... kinda nice.

"Jared thinks he's so funny," Joe grumbled as he released Nick.

"Relax, he's joking."

Joe cast a suspicious glare through the shop's window, mainly in the direction where Jared sat surrounded by his fan girls. Before Nick could say anything, Matt popped his head out of the door and called to them. They made their way inside and took the usual seats. David, Zac, and Selena arrived late. Shortly after everyone claimed a spot, conversation began. As an excuse to talk to them, Demi came to their table to take orders.

"I want a piece of cheesecake, that slushy drink I tried yesterday—you know which one, Demi?" Miley skimmed through the menu as she read out her orders. "Oh! Oh! And a banana split, with three ice cream flavors and—"

"—Miley, remember when you asked me to tell you whenever you were being a pig?" Demi cut in chidingly. "You're being a pig."

"Shove it, Demi." Miley shushed her and called out another drink for Demi to take down.

Sucking her teeth and raising an annoyed eyebrow, Demi dutifully jotted down Miley's order. "Sure thing. Would you like extra whip cream on that, Porky?"

"I'd appreciate it?" Miley thanked her with a smile.

Matt shook his head and made sure to have a hand over Evan's mouth in case the other had something helpful to add to the situation.

The rest ordered eventually, after Miley had a chance to look the list over one last time. She decided it would be better to see if there was still room for more after the first round of desserts. Jotting everything down, Demi went back around the counter to tend to their orders.

"Hungry, Miley?" Matt ventured behind the protection of an oblivious Evan.

"Well," the girl threw a dramatic hand over her eyes and released a deep sigh. "Oh! I was just thinking earlier how it was hopeless."

"What is?" Joe asked beside Nick, their feet touching.

Pulling her arm away suddenly, Miley glared with mock-contempt. "That you, Joe, no matter how much I try, wish, and pray, will never return my feelings."

Taken aback, Joe, whether he was conscious of it or not, sidled up closer to Nick.

"So!" Miley punctuated with a fist slammed against the tabletop, making spoons clatter. "It's inevitable that I will become a bitter spinster with a dozen cats, living with Demi until we're old and gray. We'll sit on our rocking chairs knitting and talking about the good ol' days. When we still thought Joe liked girls and was only restraining himself because he wanted to keep his studies in check and graduate top of the class. Only to become a rich, successful, and famous bachelor and have Demi and I fight over him. Oh, Alas," she clutched at air fruitlessly and drew her hand into a dramatic fist. "It's hopeless," she ended in an exaggerated tone.

"Tragic," Matt consoled dryly.

"But Miley, there are other guys—" Evan tried to say.

Waving her hand to cut him off, she moaned, "Don't even say it, Evan. With Joe gone, there is no hope for us girls."

Both Matt and Nick snorted. Joe said he was touched and wished her luck with the knitting. He was a bastard; no one batted an eyelash at what he had said. Demi arrived with their desserts minutes later. Miley was still ranting about the unfairness of it all. When asked for her opinion, Demi said they would eventually get over it, maybe in college they'd meet someone cool. Grant offered himself bravely and only got his kiwi and strawberry sherbet in return. Rebecca cheered him on for his courage and told Miley not to give up. Jared suggested Demi and Miley hook up as he took a sip of his milkshake. Nick hoped Jared would be careful next time Demi made something he ordered. The way the girl's eye twitched wasn't a good sign.

David tried to strike up a conversation about the merits of having a boyfriend, but was aptly ignored. Zac seemed a willing listener though. Selena, at every point Miley made, nodded her head sympathetically. She would glance now and then at Nick and nod some more at Miley's rant.

An hour and a half later, as Miley swirled her spoon around in another tall latte, she announced there was nothing great about guys anyway. That she didn't need them, and she should focus more on her studies so she could become rich, famous, and successful. And maybe then, she'd meet the right man.

They nodded their heads encouragingly. Evan offered her the strawberry on his shortcake. She popped it into her mouth and thanked him. He was a great friend, she said, and he nodded happily as he finished the cake in three consecutive bites.

When Demi got off her shift, they headed over to the arcade and karaoke. The girls and Grant sang, while Nick, Joe, and the rest competed obsessively on several choice games. When the competition got too heated, the girls dragged all of them away from the consoles to cool off. By the third intense match, Demi forbade any of them to even come near the game stations.

They were forced to sit and listen to the girls and Grant butcher songs. They weren't bad singers, really, Nick was just bitter about almost defeating Joe, only to get interrupted and lose. At one point, when no one was looking, Joe sang softly to his ear. Nick choked on his drink laughing. Then he was forced to contain a groan when Joe nipped his ear lobe and told him it was time to leave.

A half an hour later, the group stood outside the arcade. The sharp swish of automatic doors sounded as people continued to pour inside. David invited them to his house to play some more games, but Nick had to refuse as he was dragged away by Joe. The group gradually dispersed and disappeared into the early evening traffic.

* * *

><p>Under a full moon's light on his balcony, Nick and Joe leaned against the cement banister, watching cars drive past below. They sipped juice boxes. Their thin straws were gnawed on at the ends. The breeze was calm, but a definite chill hung in the air. They remained close to each other, arms occasionally brushing. Conversation picked up once in a while, but most of the discussion happened through actions: a kiss, a touch, a jab to the stomach for a badly made joke.<p>

Joe draped his arm around Nick's waist and eventually came up behind him so he could use both arms to hold him. Nick protested for the sake of protesting, but didn't really mind, since Joe was warm and he was getting cold anyway.

Joe's lips on his neck and behind his ear warmed him up better than a sweater could. He was too lazy to go inside for something warm, so he figured Joe's kisses would do. The fluttering in his stomach and the tightening behind his throat compelled him to grab hold of Joe's hands. But it did nothing to calm the butterflies. His heart joined in with faster beats. Next, his breath betrayed him by catching and coming out in swift and short exhales. Joe's solid chest against his back allowed him to feel every rise and fall for breath from the boy. The silent, sucking noises Joe's kisses made raised the short hair of his arms.

Nick pursed his lips. He collected all of his feelings together, and made it short. "I love you."

Joe stilled—froze behind him.

He turned in Joe's arms and tried to peer beneath the drape of dark bangs. Slipping his hand between their bodies, he pushed the hair away from Joe's face.

"I think... even though I knew..." Joe murmured, gaze meeting his. "I've been waiting to hear it."

Nick lowered his head and nodded twice. His smile was wide, while his insides twisted in nervousness. He had whispered it. His lips had shaped the words into Joe's hand. He had screamed it out loud, but...

"I'm sorry I made you wait."

* * *

><p>Hidden in part shadow, the wall was a comforting support against his back. The rubber soles of one shoe rested against the firm surface, once in a while shifting for a better position. Nick fingered the lint in his pocket as he waited. Eyelids closed, breathing even, he nursed the slight anticipation simmering at the back of his mind.<p>

The school halls silently waited for the countless students that would soon fill its marbled length. The ends of his hair brushed the back of his neck as he opened his eyes and looked down the dim corridor. He bit his bottom lip and allowed a grin to stretch it when he heard the familiar footfalls he'd been waiting for.

Nick let his prey pass him before setting his legs in motion. Careful to not make a noise, he shadowed the unsuspecting arrival stealthily. His eyes traced the strong, slim frame. He wet his dry lips.

Preoccupied with the papers in his hand, Joe used the other to adjust the straps of his bag to rest better on his shoulder.

Nick saw his chance. Speeding up, he reached out and around Joe until he had shirt fabric in his hands. Joe grunted in surprise as he was pushed against the wall. Papers flew and scattered, drifting down around them in a white mess.

"Oof!" Dark hair swung back and forth at the light impact. Joe scowled.

"Morning," Nick growled softly into Joe's ear. His body cupped Joe's, fitting comfortably. A leg easily settled between Joe's strong thighs and rocked up against the pants' crotch. His hands released the shirt, only to bring Joe's wrists up against the wall.

Joe moved against him, his dark eyes amused under the hallway lights. "Jones," Joe gasped, a little breathless. "You're early today."

* * *

><p>THE END<p>

* * *

><p>With Love, Carlie :D<p> 


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